Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
keen23

Jill, Derick and Israel- Lucky Number 13

Recommended Posts

HarryPotterFan
15 hours ago, DuggarWatch said:

From her blog (post now removed):

"Do you have any parenting tips?
Who doesn't? We all learn things along the way, that we end up sharing with people whether they like it or not. ;) There are 3 books I consult along with long conversations with my sister-in-law, mom and few good friends. The books that guideline raising our children are the Bible, Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and To Train Up a Child by Michael & Debi Pearl. My parenting tip of the day is ... consistency; it's key.(May 2004)" 

http://web.archive.org/web/20040616170029/http://www.candacecameronbure.net/askcandace.php

I kind of want to wave a flag and set up flashing lights to get the attention ofnews outlets and have them run a story on this. 

6 hours ago, twinmama said:

As someone whose kids were at risk for developmental delays and did PT with infants to avoid them and catch them early, it is UNREAL to me that they would try to snuff out a child's exploration. I waited SO LONG and my boys worked so hard to finally be able to reach for a toy they wanted, or crawl, or any of that. The idea that your child would want to grab for a toy off their blanket that you purposely put there and you'd reprimand them is disgusting.

I've wondered before what parents who practice blanket training do if their child has developmental delays and needs PT to do things like learn to crawl and walk. Do they notice? Do they get the child the help they need? Or do they view this as a convenience if the child can't get into trouble? I want to barf just thinking about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sophie10130
7 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I understand that it sucked at the time, but assuming you're not happily married to him now or anything, you dodged a bullet.

I tell myself this every day as I am happily married to a totally different dude who is basically the exact opposite. And sometimes my husband tells me this as well :roll:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CherylV
23 hours ago, silverspoons said:

Or what about those play yards that you can make as big or small as you like? I had major surgery when my very active and chubby 9 month old become mobile. That play yard was the best $100 I ever spent. I actually had 2 so I could make it as big as 12x12. 12x12 was like a playroom for my son and he didn't even notice the "wall" around him and was busy playing. I took it with me in the smaller pieces when I visited people's houses and even took it outside and as my child grew I used it to around our Christmas tree.

*this is what I had for my twins! It wad awesome! We used it around our tree later too!

 

 

21 hours ago, Jucifer said:

One of my teachers in junior high school had a paddle like that. He had it hanging on the wall behind his desk. 

He called it "the board of education". I was terrified of him. :(

My mom used a small cutting board. She broke it on me once. 

 

And in one of the Christian schools, my teacher had a new paddle every year and if you were in trouble you got spanked in front of the class and had to sign the paddle. She had paddles hanging in a line. :( terrified of her.n

I am 40 so not hugely old either.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xlurker

Can I just say I hate the word "obey" pertaining to children, wives...heck--I just hate it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ksgranola1

I had it eliminated from my wedding vows and both daughter's.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
QuiverDance
46 minutes ago, ksgranola1 said:

I had it eliminated from my wedding vows and both daughter's.

I've never heard it used in wedding vows, but I've only been to Catholic and secular weddings.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
luxfilia
3 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

I've never heard it used in wedding vows, but I've only been to Catholic and secular weddings.  

Very common here in Tennessee. "Love, honor, cherish, and obey." People use the usual mental gymnastics to reason it out in a non-literal way, or else make a point of mentioning they've removed it from the vows.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kjaerringa

We did not use a gate around the Christmas tree when my two were small. No, my helpmeet sank four eye bolts into the studs and wired that sucker six ways from Sunday. 20 years later, having given up the practice, despite 2 cats and a dog, I managed to tip the thing over on myself, while trying to water it. My loving family a) giggled helplessly b. ran for the camera, and c) finally deigned to rescue me from my embarrassing plight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nastyhobbitses
On 2/24/2016 at 6:07 AM, HarryPotterFan said:

I kind of want to wave a flag and set up flashing lights to get the attention ofnews outlets and have them run a story on this. 

I've wondered before what parents who practice blanket training do if their child has developmental delays and needs PT to do things like learn to crawl and walk. Do they notice? Do they get the child the help they need? Or do they view this as a convenience if the child can't get into trouble? I want to barf just thinking about it.

To the first - yeah, not since Les Mis first played on the London Stage has such a massive red flag been waved in the media's face.

To the second - I thought I was the only horrible person who wondered if fundies would consider severely disabled children (who don't display aggressive or otherwise undesirable behaviors) a convenience, since if they don't have much in the way of mobility/motor skills, blanket training basically comes standard. :-/ I know that there's one fundie family with a child who has Down Syndrome, and IIRC he is quite well cared for and loved, though homeskool probably stunted his potential by quite a lot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Apricot
15 hours ago, xlurker said:

Can I just say I hate the word "obey" pertaining to children, wives...heck--I just hate it!

Same here, it sends a shiver down my spine...I don't even expect my dog to instantly obey!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sweet Fellowship
2 hours ago, Apricot said:

Same here, it sends a shiver down my spine...I don't even expect my dog to instantly obey!

I don't like it either. I can attest that my dog is very selective of when he "obeys". It's more likely he will when there's a chance of a treat. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xlurker
13 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

I had it eliminated from my wedding vows and both daughter's.

I was married in an Episcopal church--no obey in sight!  Love honor and cherish <3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Defrauding Feminist ESQ
19 hours ago, xlurker said:

Can I just say I hate the word "obey" pertaining to children, wives...heck--I just hate it!

My husband joked that he wanted it in our vows.  I responded that I agreed - that he should absolutely say that he would obey ME in his vows!  He never joked about it again lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MissBitters
10 hours ago, luxfilia said:

Very common here in Tennessee. "Love, honor, cherish, and obey." People use the usual mental gymnastics to reason it out in a non-literal way, or else make a point of mentioning they've removed it from the vows.

I was married in Tennessee and "obey" wasn't used.Then again, we were married by a judge. I haven't been to many weddings, but the word wasn't used at the few I've attended in the same area. I haven't gone to any fundie weddings, though, so that may be the reason why.

Edited by MissBitters

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
choralcrusader8613
Just now, MissBitters said:

I was married in Tennessee and "obey" wasn't used.Then again, we were married by a judge. I haven't been to many weddings, but the word wasn't  at the few I've attended in the same area. I haven't gone to any fundie weddings, though, so that may be the reason why.

None of the weddings I've been to in TN have had "obey" in the vows. Part of it is probably that my circle of family and friends doesn't like that wording, and the other part that I've seen is that the guests get uncomfortable at that wording, which is generally something that most couples want to avoid, in my experience.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RoseWilder

I went to a Baptist wedding in TN where the word obey was used. Then the groom promised to be a good leader and the bride promised to always respect and follow his leadership. I tried to take a live-and-let-live approach to other people's lives but wow that was unsettling to witness.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
luxfilia
9 hours ago, MissBitters said:

I was married in Tennessee and "obey" wasn't used.Then again, we were married by a judge. I haven't been to many weddings, but the word wasn't used at the few I've attended in the same area. I haven't gone to any fundie weddings, though, so that may be the reason why.

I grew up in Tennessee and still live here. I used to work as a photographer's assistant, so I have been to dozens and dozens of TN weddings, and I assure you it's not as rare as you may think. Most of those weddings were in a very small town where there are more churches than any other type of business, though. I haven't been to any true "fundie" weddings, either, but I have been to lots of ultra-conservative Baptist, Church of Christ, etc., weddings as both a photographer's assistant and a guest. I love Tennessee and don't mean to paint all TN weddings with a broad brush (I'm getting married here in a couple months here myself), but I just wanted to point out that it's not rare. The last wedding I went to was a more progressive wedding held in Memphis. The groom and bride were both attorneys and were married by a judge, and the bride made a point to mention that she was avoiding the word obey, because even their (non-religious) judge friend/officiant had a book of vows that contained that wording.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
choralcrusader8613
15 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

And this site even gives proper credit to the source this time! (Not sure what history they have about crediting this site previously, but I know that some sites just lift stories from us wholesale)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HarryPotterFan
On February 25, 2016 at 6:41 AM, Sweet Fellowship said:

I don't like it either. I can attest that my dog is very selective of when he "obeys". It's more likely he will when there's a chance of a treat. :D

Are you sure he isn't a cat? :P 

41 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

Holy shit. I didn't expect this to actually be picked up, let alone be quoted!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PracticeMakesProgress

I know I may be in the minority, but I do not believe corporal punishment BY ITSELF is an evil thing. However, I believe most people are incapable of using it properly and effectively, and because of the high risk of misuse, it should be largely avoided altogether. I have a similar belief about guns. Too thin the margin of error...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cleopatra7
6 minutes ago, PracticeMakesProgress said:

I know I may be in the minority, but I do not believe corporal punishment BY ITSELF is an evil thing. However, I believe most people are incapable of using it properly and effectively, and because of the high risk of misuse, it should be largely avoided altogether. I have a similar belief about guns. Too thin the margin of error...

When doing a paper for a class on discipline in American society, I found a number of scholarly papers that indicated that almost all instances of reporter child abuse involving young children were disciplinary situations that escalated into severe bodily harm. Given this, I'm highly skeptical about whether corporal punishment can ever be justified. Although in the case of Rousseau, it appears that his youthful experiences with corporal punishment in school caused him to have a taste for S&M as an adult. Probably not what TTUAC advocates would like as an outcome. I wonder what exactly was the "rod" that was mentioned in the police report. Plumbing line? A stick? A cane?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PennySycamore

@PracticeMakesProgress, I think all the corporal punishment teaches a kid is that's it OK to hit another person, especially those who are littler and weaker than you.  As John Valusek says:

People are not for hitting and kids are people, too

There are ways to teach children how to behave that do not include hitting them.  They often take more time, information and intuition to use, but they lead to better results.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fannomore

Derick actually said then z word on his Instagram today! I thought they would never mention it because they think they're immune. He went to the local Walmart to get OFF. They're prepared, ya'll. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nutella Ace

Derick just posted on instagram about stocking up on bug spray to combat Zika...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



×