Emily from wayback ago. .

[meda]

For me the best thing to come from that blog was "Dae of Dna" from the yuku board. I think Gizmola was the creator, but "so hungree..." makes me laugh every time.

  

Dae of Dan by Dan 

6:00am  waak up. Emiy tiping on computa. 

6:30am  Emiy maks me brush teeth. Tooth fall out. Emiy says it okaay.

7:00am et brekfist. I wante wafls. Emiy maaks turkee sasag. I git one pattee. Hungre.

7:30am  emiy heps me put on cloths. Tiyng shos iz hard.

8:00am  wrk. Cleen flors. 

10:00am “ Jo gvs me pice of gum. So hungree.

12:00pm “ lnch. Emiy paked lnch. Too tortiias with pink salassa and tabespooon meat.Hungree.

3:00pm go to skool. Leern abbot Jessus. I tink Jessus not as good as Spocck. 

5:00pm go home. Git lost. Whre is Emiy?

7:00pm  find home. Home smells bad.Hungree

7:30pm  eet dinner. I don™t lik piza from crokpot. I get one slise. Hungree. 

8:00pm  wnt to wach Star Trek. Emiy says haff to read bible. Jessus boring.

8:30pm “ have secs with Emiy. I don’t lik smel of lemin. Yuck. She kepes makng me eet mints. 

9:00pm  Emiy makes me go to bed. She won’t let me wear Spock eers to sleep. Emiy meen.

12:00am  Chekk make shur Emiy asleep. Eet frozin apels, drink Tereese, finde tomatoe undur couch and eet it. Eet boul water and furmintd flower. Eet cheez from cockpit. Suc lemin in bathrum. Drink ketchup. 

2:00am“ Emiy gos to bathruum and catches me lickin crums from flor. Sed I can’t ware Spck eers four too weeks. I hate hur.

[SpoonfulOSugar]

I see a "john macathur was born" in 2013 as a life event on Dan's FB page.

[gustava]

3 hours ago, Crocoduck said:

I found Emily in the FJ archives and read her blog, along with the Under 1000 Braincells blog. The comments on the Braincells blog are gold! http://under1000braincells.blogspot.com/

I'm just sorry I didn't discover FJ in time to see this play out in real time.

Emily and Dna are interesting and seeing it play out in real time was sad.  I have the impression that Emily's mother finally intervened, but I don't know for sure.  I hope they are doing well.

2 hours ago, meda said:

For me the best thing to come from that blog was "Dae of Dna" from the yuku board. I think Gizmola was the creator, but "so hungree..." makes me laugh every time.

  

Dae of Dan by Dan 

6:00am  waak up. Emiy tiping on computa. 

6:30am  Emiy maks me brush teeth. Tooth fall out. Emiy says it okaay.

7:00am et brekfist. I wante wafls. Emiy maaks turkee sasag. I git one pattee. Hungre.

7:30am  emiy heps me put on cloths. Tiyng shos iz hard.

8:00am  wrk. Cleen flors. 

10:00am “ Jo gvs me pice of gum. So hungree.

12:00pm “ lnch. Emiy paked lnch. Too tortiias with pink salassa and tabespooon meat.Hungree.

3:00pm go to skool. Leern abbot Jessus. I tink Jessus not as good as Spocck. 

5:00pm go home. Git lost. Whre is Emiy?

7:00pm  find home. Home smells bad.Hungree

7:30pm  eet dinner. I don™t lik piza from crokpot. I get one slise. Hungree. 

8:00pm  wnt to wach Star Trek. Emiy says haff to read bible. Jessus boring.

8:30pm “ have secs with Emiy. I don’t lik smel of lemin. Yuck. She kepes makng me eet mints. 

9:00pm  Emiy makes me go to bed. She won’t let me wear Spock eers to sleep. Emiy meen.

12:00am  Chekk make shur Emiy asleep. Eet frozin apels, drink Tereese, finde tomatoe undur couch and eet it. Eet boul water and furmintd flower. Eet cheez from cockpit. Suc lemin in bathrum. Drink ketchup. 

2:00am“ Emiy gos to bathruum and catches me lickin crums from flor. Sed I can’t ware Spck eers four too weeks. I hate hur.

Honestly, I don't like snarking on Dan  anymore than on Rebecca 11eventy.  I think they are both innocents trying to make their ways in a difficult world.  Emily OTOH......

 

[meda]

@gustava,  I have very little sympathy for Dan. He had a suspected learning disability, as do I . That does not make him stupid or incapable of knowing right from wrong. He sat by passively while his wife abused his kids and put them in absurdly dangerous situations so she could play pretend frugal Christian wife and rebel against her parents. He is as culpable in that clusterfuck as Emily.

[Nancy Drew]

3 hours ago, meda said:

8:30pm “ have secs with Emiy. I don’t lik smel of lemin. Yuck. She kepes makng me eet mints. 

I completely forgot Emily used lemon slices as deodorant, this line made me LOL when I first read it.  

I watched the under1000 blog go down in real time.  Emily was even more proud and pompous than other extreme bloggers like Zsu, which is hard to imagine.  I remember her "my family likes my crappy tasteless meals just the way they are, thank you" attitude about everything.  And when someone suggested healthier, bulkier meals by adding things like beans or salad she'd shoot it down because she personally didn't like the taste of them.  Meanwhile, her infant and toddler sons were downing bottles of homemade ketchup while they "grazed" all day on bananas.  

[punkiepie]

I also watched this train wreck go down in real time and the thing that still surprises me the most is that none of them died from botulism. All of her fermenting foods, in less than sanitary conditions, how no one got seriously sick is actually amazing.  (I know that one son got sick, but IIRC, it was not related to any type of improperly prepared food.).  

[samira_catlover]

Uhhh. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that fundie-folks seem to have no idea how to season? From the recipes I've seen (*cowers*), they seem to leave spicing up to the Big Multinational Heads who make processed stuff....

For freak's sake, there are a whole lot of dried herbs and spices in the dollar store that can add a SEVERELY big kick to rice, pasta, tube meat, mixed veggies.

For goodness sake: grew up in the US midwest in the 1960s/'70s, and everybody knew that seasonings added a LOT to casseroles, mac-and-cheese, chili, etc.) I can dig (understand, for you youngsters) that you might not be able to tamper MUCH with the Main Dish (***uuh, this is all we HAVE to feed six for supper, so please don't be REALLY creative---we need to be able to EAT this***), but the fundies don't seem to allow any experimentation.

 

[lawfulevil]

Well, making sure all your food tastes like shit is one way to keep your kids skinny for Jesus.

 

 

[withaj]

11 hours ago, SpoonfulOSugar said:

I see a "john macathur was born" in 2013 as a life event on Dan's FB page.

Is he number 6 or 7, I wonder? I thought it was 4 + Edmund and Yosef but now I remember seeing that announcement for John MacArthur, however it's actually spelled, too.

[Clementine]

90% of her recipes were wheat flour + water + 1 tablespoon of tomato sauce per person, if I remember correctly, in different variations: hot pockets, tortillas, pizza, tacos, spagetti and sauce. Not much nutrients there, just stomach fillers. And since she was all about eating healthy I don't understand all the wheat flour, something that health oriented cooks try to avoid.

Emily really made an impression on me. I have started to add fermented vegetables to my diet and I think of Emily every time. I buy mine at the health store though, I don't plan to experiment at home.

[anniebgood]

Me bad. I left a comment on her old blog (she hasn't posted in 5 years) and invited her to come over and update us. Ya never know. 

[gustava]

23 hours ago, meda said:

@gustava,  I have very little sympathy for Dan. He had a suspected learning disability, as do I . That does not make him stupid or incapable of knowing right from wrong. He sat by passively while his wife abused his kids and put them in absurdly dangerous situations so she could play pretend frugal Christian wife and rebel against her parents. He is as culpable in that clusterfuck as Emily.

I get the impression that Dan was not the sharpest knife in the block, and was pretty much controlled by Emily, the dominant force.

[DaffyDill]

On 6 February 2016 at 4:15 PM, Black Aliss said:

It is ground beef of uncertain provenance, packaged in 1# plastic tubes, sold frozen. It's cheap because it has pretty high fat and water content.

Thanks @Black Aliss, @withajand @Peas n carrotsfor answering.

Why oh why, did I google "pink slurry" as Peas n Carrots suggested? I wish I hadn't asked anything now. God that's disgusting looking stuff. I can't think of anything sold here that comes near Tube Meat in ummm... disgustingness. 

[Lillybee]

Didn't Emily buy 3 lb packages of tube meat at Walmart?

I remember that she refused to use the heat in her apt even though utilities were included in the rent.

I felt so sorry for those boys living in an unheated apartment during a Maine winter.

[wildcatgrrl]

On 2/6/2016 at 9:25 PM, withaj said:

Yep. And I never could get past her refusal to use the oven/stove because it used too much electricity. Utilities were included in her rent!!

So was water, as proven by her recipe breakdowns. 1 tablespoon flour, $0.06. 1 cup water, $0.00. 

I also remember someone suggested she use a toaster oven for some things and her response was something about trying to use fewer appliances, not more, and crockpot cooking was just fine, tyvm, and not soggy.

And three words: Tin. Can. Bread.

[moreorlessnu]

Speaking of toaster oven, at at Walmart Christmas party, Dan won some type of electric oven (or was it an electric roaster?). Emily made him return it. I cringed at that. I realize Walmart is a huge company, but that was still technically a gift from his employer. 

[wildcatgrrl]

28 minutes ago, moreorlessnu said:

Speaking of toaster oven, at at Walmart Christmas party, Dan won some type of electric oven (or was it an electric roaster?). Emily made him return it. I cringed at that. I realize Walmart is a huge company, but that was still technically a gift from his employer. 

It was a roaster oven and she actually kept it! But only because it wasn't a TOASTER oven, you see. Roaster ovens are giant crockpots and she was planning to make cheese in it. (Good God)

under1000permonth.blogspot.com/2009/12/thanks-walmart.html

[moreorlessnu]

I stand corrected!

 

Thank you for the clarification Wildcatgrrl!

[countressrascal]

Every time I serve spaghetti squash, between the two of us eat the whole thing. Emily would faint. 

[wildcatgrrl]

4 minutes ago, moreorlessnu said:

I stand corrected!

 

Thank you for the clarification Wildcatgrrl!

I was curious as to if she ever even considered using it or what her nutty justification was for not, so I did a search. I thought I remembered her returning/selling it too, but I guess not. The only mentions I found after that post were people commenting things she could use it for, so I guess she didn't. Don't know if she ever used it either, though, lol.

Ohhhh I loved the Under 1000 Brain Cells blog too! A Cry For Help by Dna was great. My favorite part was this:

"Thank you for sending me the pakage of fuud to Walmart. I cant have it at home becase emiy does not lik when I eet Twinkys and slim jms. She maks me eet mor salsa and I don’t lik her salsa becauce it tastes lik feat. I shared som of the potatoe chips wit Booby and litle dna and they sed it was the best fuud they ever eetin. I keep the bocks in my loker at work. ha ha emiy!!"

under1000braincells.blogspot.com/2010/02/deer-momm-dda-i-know-its-been-long-time.html

[JMarie]

I was watching HGTV yesterday and there was something on about tiny houses.  A couple had built a yurt in Hawaii, and they were oohing and aahing for the camera.  I was cringing.  The second floor had a master bedroom and a kids bedroom, consisting of three mattresses on the floor.  My first thought was that the kids aren't going to be happy sharing a tiny bedroom when they become teenagers.  My second thought was how much Emily would love living in this weird little hut (complete with a shed-like detached bathroom). 

[season of life]

Lemon slices for deodorant...

I am so glad this is a rabbit hole I did not fall down. I read the summary about them on FreeJinger, but I valued my sanity and decided not to look up/read Emily's blog. When I think of fundies and their need for attention, I am surprised that she didn't update the blog in so many years. I wonder how many other fundie blogs discussed here have gone under? Not that it's a bad thing.

[withaj]

4 hours ago, season of life said:

Lemon slices for deodorant...

I am so glad this is a rabbit hole I did not fall down. I read the summary about them on FreeJinger, but I valued my sanity and decided not to look up/read Emily's blog. When I think of fundies and their need for attention, I am surprised that she didn't update the blog in so many years. I wonder how many other fundie blogs discussed here have gone under? Not that it's a bad thing.

Yeah, lemon juice as deodorant wouldn't squick me out so much in theory, but just the visual of Emily & co swiping lemon slices under their armpits and then repurposing them for some other food experiment... yeeaahhhrbgas.

[Mary C Doates]

4 hours ago, season of life said:

Lemon slices for deodorant...

I am so glad this is a rabbit hole I did not fall down. I read the summary about them on FreeJinger, but I valued my sanity and decided not to look up/read Emily's blog. When I think of fundies and their need for attention, I am surprised that she didn't update the blog in so many years. I wonder how many other fundie blogs discussed here have gone under? Not that it's a bad thing.

I  think the Emily and Dna rabbit hole is well worth the visit, even though you will spend much of the time yelling "WTF??" at your screen. It's one thing to read a summary about them, but this is one time that the original is so.much.more...

[season of life]

Just now, Mary C Doates said:

I  think the Emily and Dna rabbit hole is well worth the visit, even though you will spend much of the time yelling "WTF??" at your screen. It's one thing to read a summary about them, but this is one time that the original is so.much.more...

Haha. I typed up that post and then I spent an hour or two looking at previous threads. I've visited both their Facebook pages... They. Are. So. Weird. The lengths Emily goes to to ensure her family is not cared for is insane.