Hair colour as you age

[Loki]

I'm interested to hear what people think. I expect we've all seen those older women, by older I'm thinking 70+ who have jet black hair, usually long and often styled like a 20 something. In my humble opinion, that is very aging (the colour, not necessarily the style) However the trend lately seems to be that if you're obviously old enough to be going grey, perhaps around 40ish, it's great to choose a vivid colour that isn't pretending to be real, great purples and reds that are fun. 

I'm at that age myself now and notice that with age, skin tone changes. I used to go for deep brown, or purple lipstick and thick black upper eyeliner vaguely Egyptian, but although I can still wear eyeliner without looking like mutton dressed as lamb, I don't think deep coloured lips look good on me any more because my skin is paler now I'm older, so with changing make up I'm thinking about changing hair colour for the same reason.

So, do you think we should grow old gracefully, maybe embrace our greys......or colour like mad? Do you think dark hair colour against an aging skin makes women look older? I'd love to hear other people's views on this!

[clueliss]

my first grays started showing when I was around 30.  I have light brown hair.  I played with reds for a long time.  Until I looked around at work, decided we had too many reds and have switched to something so close to my natural color that my stylist has to look at the areas that are gray (the top of my head) to gauge growth.  I am not gray all over the sides/back of my head are still light brown.   I'm over 50.  I had my color done yesterday.  My stylist and I were joking that if we were gray all over we could play with fun colors.  As in, you know, I feel like lavender this month.    I'd be tempted to lose the color if the graying were all over.  

[Loki]

Yes @clueliss, I did that matching my real colour as far as possible for several years too! I was naturally auburn so a little redder was nice.  But that's the thing, I've been colouring it for so long now, I have no idea how grey I really am, or if it's even a 'nice' grey, I'd love it if it was properly silver eventually, I think that looks great, but I'm too scared to leave it long enough to see the roots! I remember when the lavender and blue rinses were what ladies did when they went grey, but it's nice that there are so many exciting colours to choose from now. But I don't want to look like a crazy woman who's trying to look young when I'm obviously not lol!

 

 

[Caribou]

52 here who doesn't really know how much grey I have since I've been colouring/highlighting since I was in my early 30's. I've gone from medium brown (natural colour) to medium blonde. Colour aside, my major issue with age, especially since menopause, has been thinning hair. I'm currently using Rogaine and have been taking Spironolactone for 5 months now. Anyone else in the same situation?

[AnnC]

Yes, my hair went gray early.  It was just one part of my head, so I used demi-permanent color.  The problem is, demi-color does not cover gray the best,  To keep coverage on the gray, I kept selecting stronger colors (darker).  Finally it was just way too dark, so now I am scaling back.

The reds and golden blonds are not a good match for my color either, so I need to find something that will work... if I go with a color from nature it is much easier to use root touch up to cover in between salon visit... but a fahion color would be fun.

[catlady]

i'm 45 and have dyed my hair red/auburn since i was 20.  my real color is a mousy medium brown, and i'm probably 10 - 20% gray.  i've always liked red hair.  i like black too, but it seems difficult to pull off well if it's not close your natural color; it just looks a little off.  i can't wear dark lip colors like i used to, either.  i used to do a lot of red and maroon, but i switched to sheer gloss and coral several years back.  i still do eyeliner every day, sometimes channeling my inner JillRod with emerald green, but very seldom black.  i normally go with plum, brown, or gray.

my SIL went from dark brown hair to 100% gray by the time she was 30.  she lived with it for a couple years, then went blonde.  that was 20+ years ago, so most people assume it's her natural color.

[Loki]

Oooh @Caribou, that's funny you mentioning it, I've noticed just recently that when I condition my hair after washing it, I've started to get lots more hair coming out......I'm pre-menopausal so that's probably what's happening. I just thought 'that's odd, I wonder why my hair's coming out' now I know! !

[Caribou]

@Loki, trust me, menopause/getting older SUCKS!! (at least concerning hair!)

[Grimalkin]

       I have been highlighting my hair a fairly light blonde for 15-20 years. It suits me. I too recently noticed more and more hair loss and I am thinning out a bit. I went  and bought a bottle of a dark ash blond hair color and colored my own hair. It's the first time I've done it myself since high school. I think bleaching my hair for so long can't of been good for it. I also have to stop pulling it back, if I am not careful where I part it I have a bald spot at my temple. Likely from pulling it back. I liked my blond hair. It was blind as a child and it brightened up my skin tone and eyes. But I think being bald would be worse. I am 40 by the way. Very close to 41.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I have dark mousy brown hair, that is turning white, not gray, which is bad because white doesn't hold color.  I've been coloring my hair on my own since I was 15, I'm 45 now and just did mine today.  I started going gray about 6 years ago, I'm probably 50% gray. My hair is also thinning. As my husbands grandma used to say getting old isn't for sissys.

As for growing old gracefully, if you really want to go for it, I on the other hand prefer to keep on keeping on with my coloring. Only now I HAVE to do it, before I did it for fun.So I'm going to keep up my tradition of hiding the ugly natural color of my hair. I've stayed in dark auburn dark brown hair area for the last decade or more, i was more adventurous in my coloring  when I was younger, I still look better with darker hair.

[MarblesMom]

The hair monster I scrape out of the shower drain scares me ..... like something out of a horror movie.  I have very thick hair, but it seems I am losing a ton.

I am mousey brown naturally, and with the greys coming in, ick!  I have thought about just dying it silver/grey/white now (think Paula Deen) and just get it over with.  The monthly upkeep is a drag.

Til I pull the plug on the silver dye job, I am a darker brown than normal.  It still turns reddish - I hate that.

[PennySycamore]

2 hours ago, Caribou said:

@Loki, trust me, menopause/getting older SUCKS!! (at least concerning hair!)

It sure does!  Not so much color though as getting thinner.

My hair started going grey when I was 30 and is now pretty much grey all over.  I wouldn't mind trying purple highlights for kicks but only if it's not a permanent color.  I'd rather stay grey than damage my hair though. 

I do think that dyeing your hair black tends to be aging. Diana Vreeland kept her hair black and it was very aging on her.

[EmmieJ]

4 hours ago, Caribou said:

52 here who doesn't really know how much grey I have since I've been colouring/highlighting since I was in my early 30's. I've gone from medium brown (natural colour) to medium blonde. Colour aside, my major issue with age, especially since menopause, has been thinning hair. I'm currently using Rogaine and have been taking Spironolactone for 5 months now. Anyone else in the same situation?

Same situation as to thinning hair and other effects related to being 54, post-menopausal and diabetic.  I had red hair as a kid, that slowly turned reddish brown.  Have been coloring for years but my hair dresser and I have been letting some grey show through.  What I'd like is hopefully natural looking grey streaks.  Have you noticed results from Rogaine and Spironolactone?  

Being in my 50's is a mixed bag.  I've never been more comfortable with who I am, while also having to adjust to too many changes in how I look, how much energy I have (or don't have), going "ooph!" When I get up, etc.  

[OreoMidnight]

My natural color is medium brown/gray. I've been coloring my hair for about 30 years- just turned 50. I liked red the best but too much upkeep. I find that a lighter golden brown is best for my skin tone now. Darker colors age me. For thinning hair I've used a supplement called Phyto Specific- Cap Energy. It did actually regrow a thin area. My sister tried same thing and didn't work for her. I  think adding some light purple to my hair would be fun. Never considered that. 

[ADoyle90815]

6 hours ago, Loki said:

Oooh @Caribou, that's funny you mentioning it, I've noticed just recently that when I condition my hair after washing it, I've started to get lots more hair coming out......I'm pre-menopausal so that's probably what's happening. I just thought 'that's odd, I wonder why my hair's coming out' now I know! !

I must be getting to that stage, as my hairdresser once said I should get my thyroid levels checked because my hair was thinning, but that test came back normal. I've been getting gray hairs since I was 35, so I get them colored with lowlights and some burgundy coloring. I have medium brown hair naturally, and my eyes are also brown, so going blonde would make me look washed out. Even then, while I suspect I might be pre-menopausal, I plan to be on some form of birth control until the doctor says I've finished menopause as I'm child free by choice.

[Kak]

I finally stopped dying a few months ago. I thought about it for a long time, and finally decided to go for it. I wasn't sure what colour my hair would be underneath the mess of dye on it, but I have a lot of brown and gray both. More brown than I expected. It's obviously not for everyone, but I feel good about it, and think I will ultimately look better.

One thing that might be of interest to some of you is that I have lots of short wispy hairs in my  parting that I didn't ever have before. Most are the same length as my undyed roots. I've read (and it seems right to me) that that is because dye is so damaging (peroxide, ammonia etc) and has caused breakage. I hope to have thicker hair in time because of less breakage and better growth overall.

I'm mid-40's BTW.

[morri]

as a 30ish yo person I think that unreal colours unless they are clearly punk colours rarely look good. like i have seen grannys with downright orange hair.

 

[Loki]

Bravo @Kak, I admire your confidence! That is really what I should do, if I could pluck up the courage.  How will you deal with it once it's grown significantly and you end up with the bottom half dyed, and the top half your own colour?  That's been one of my worries about just deciding to stop!

 

[OnceUponATime]

10 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I have dark mousy brown hair, that is turning white, not gray

me too. it started at 25ish. now at 30ish it is a bit noticeable but i'm not currently coloring my hair nor do I have plans to. Go the virgin hair! Fuck social pressure which tries to insist I dye my hair to cover the white. Especially from the people who then go on an on about having to be environmentally conscientious and buy ethical hair dye. How about supporting the option of not dying hair (which conveniently removes those two problems of hair dye). *rant over*

Amusingly though I occasionally get questions/comments from 18-20 year olds wondering what the white stuff is in my hair... because apparently they have never seen a naturally 'going grey' head of hair before.  And even if I have white hairs I can still get ID'd!

[Caribou]

8 hours ago, EmmieJ said:

Same situation as to thinning hair and other effects related to being 54, post-menopausal and diabetic.  I had red hair as a kid, that slowly turned reddish brown.  Have been coloring for years but my hair dresser and I have been letting some grey show through.  What I'd like is hopefully natural looking grey streaks.  Have you noticed results from Rogaine and Spironolactone?  

Being in my 50's is a mixed bag.  I've never been more comfortable with who I am, while also having to adjust to too many changes in how I look, how much energy I have (or don't have), going "ooph!" When I get up, etc.  

I've noticed less hair loss since using both things but definitely no re-growth. According to my dermatologist, that's pretty common and very few women actually see their hair thicken. So, best case scenario seems to be slowing down the process of thinning, not reversing it. I actually find the whole situation quite distressing. 

[Kak]

I'm not worried about that...yet. But one way of dealing with it is to let the roots grow out as long as you can stand it and then get lowlights or highlights or a mixture to try to match or somewhat match the virgin growth and the dyed part. This also helps blur the demarcation line.  Also, the dye will fade over time, and the difference may not be as bad as you imagine.

I think the beginning of the transition is the harder part though. But there are root crayons, powders and wash out colours which can help on the worst days. I used Fanciful wash out colour for a recent formal event, and it was OK. 

I think it's easier if the dyed bit is lighter than the roots. Someone with dark dye on naturally light hair would have quite a struggle!

[ark]

I had an aunt that did the really dark, long hair for years and it did age her. Later she switched to a reddish brown (keeping it long) and it looked much better.

I am 45 and have been greying since my early 20's. I played with at home coloring during my 20's but never anything permanent. I have decided to just go grey naturally. They make a wonderful shampoo for grey hair that keeps it silvery instead of yellow looking and I will use that if needed. I just don't have the time or the money to keep my hair colored.

As for the dark colors on grey hair, I'm not a fan, but to each her own.

 

[EmmieJ]

5 hours ago, Caribou said:

I've noticed less hair loss since using both things but definitely no re-growth. According to my dermatologist, that's pretty common and very few women actually see their hair thicken. So, best case scenario seems to be slowing down the process of thinning, not reversing it. I actually find the whole situation quite distressing. 

It is distressing.  I have straight hair, but always had a lot of it.  I will be sitting on the couch watching tv and run my fingers through my hair, and come away with too many strands.  I tell myself to be glad to have the hair I do.  I know a lady who is pretty much bald on the top of her scalp so she wears a cap or hat of some kind whenever she goes out.  She has hair on the lower portion of her scalp, about shoulder length, so if you see her in her cap you wouldn't think anything of it.  I think it was from having three pregnancies very close together and possibly not getting enough nutrients to care for both baby and herself.  But yes, my thinning hair does make me sad.

[Kak]

How you care for your hair may help too. Not that you can reduce thinning, but it may be possible to reduce breakage. Things like cutting down on blow drying and heated appliances if you use them can help hair health. The more friction hair is subjected to the more unnecessary breakage can occur.

[caszandra]

I have been going grey since my late 20's.  Last summer at the age of 37 I decided to say fuck it and dyed my hair purple.  My hair took the colour but even though it was a permanent dye every time I washed my hair colour came out.  I loved it but gave in after a few months and dyed over it a dark brown.  My hair is now 3 different colours as on the bottom you can still slightly see the purple through the brown, my natural medium brown root's from new growth and the grey's mixed in with it all.  I hate standing under very bright light's as it highlights just how grey it is getting. If my hair was shorter than it is I might be tempted to just let the grey be, but my hair is nearly at my bum and I'm not ready yet to get it cut off.

I will prob go back to a bright colour in the future but will get it done professionally next time.