Jessa, Ben & Spurgeon Part 3

[enine]

Oh man, why did I read this thread? S.Elliot is the CUTEST. I can't even.. OMG. His smile is just so adorable. And I have to agree with most of you. S.Elliot seems to be very engaged and I love that Jessa and Ben always talk to him in the videos. They really talk TO him. Not about him. They ask him questions, they comment on things he does. Like in the video where he is sucking his thumb.
I really hope that Jessa and Ben will figure out that you cannot engaged with your baby that way if you're having 20 Kids at home who all need your attention. If they do, S.Elliot might just grow to be a happy kid.

[HarleyQuinn]

I believe the Jill/Jessa rivalry. The only clue Jill seems to have is what she needs to do to get the most attention. I'm legit shocked she hasn't announced another pregnancy yet. 

[jacduggar]

I think Jill is going to wind up like J'chelle. This will be a numbers game for her. 

 

I think Jessa is enjoying S (I really can't full out call him Spurgeon). I think (hope) that she will get too lost in enjoying him to worry about a million babies. They seem to spend time with fundie lite families, maybe they can head that direction. Jessa has said straight up that she enjoys how low-key her life is now that she's out of the big house. I can see her keeping a smaller family. She also seems to like makeup/hair/fashion, and Ben is into the gym, maybe they are headed to a more mainstream life. 

[MatthewDuggar]

2 hours ago, socalrules said:

So I have a question about the computer homeschooling. I can understand using some computer programs but if you are using computers for everything, can you really be considered to be homeschooling? So do these kids get any teaching from a live person? Do they use review material in a book and then test on the computer? Most homeschoolers I have known used real books, actually taught the material to their children and worked through the problems with them when they needed help. If everything the Duggars do is taught by the computer, it's no wonder James was learning his multiplication tables at 13. Homeschooling should be about giving kids more one-on-one time to learn the material. Not more time with the computer. 

I know nothing about homeschooling, but the evolution of the Duggar School Of The Dining Room Table went something like this:

Early years:  J'Chelle using Wisdom Booklets with all the kids around the table.

Later Early Years: field trips to see a house insulated and "repeat after me" Per Pen Dic U Lar on a boat ride at Disneyland.

Middle years: J'Chelle check out, bank of computers are installed in the loft and Jessa is "in charge".  One howler is seen trying to find a "phonics" workbook in the house and finally comes across is under a pile of crap in a storage room.

Later/Current years: Family friend (sorry the name escapes me) moves in and is in charge of the schooling.  Not many details provided.

 

[enine]

1 hour ago, jacduggar said:

(...) Jessa has said straight up that she enjoys how low-key her life is now that she's out of the big house. I can see her keeping a smaller family. (...)

Does anyone know how Bennessa and the Baby celebrated Christmas? In the pictures and (the absolutely adorable) video on Instagram it looks like it was just the three of them. So that might be a sign she does enjoy a smaller family. 

They also talked a lot about adoption and that Jessa doesn't want to birth 20+ kids. So I think there's hope.

But I guess it's just my wishful thinking...

[hollywood]

1 hour ago, enine said:

Does anyone know how Bennessa and the Baby celebrated Christmas? In the pictures and (the absolutely adorable) video on Instagram it looks like it was just the three of them. So that might be a sign she does enjoy a smaller family. 

They also talked a lot about adoption and that Jessa doesn't want to birth 20+ kids. So I think there's hope.

But I guess it's just my wishful thinking...

They probably celebrated as a trio then went over in the afternoon to celebrate as a giant family

[halcionne]

There was a short video of them opening a present for Spurgeon at the TTH. They were definitely there at some point.

[withaj]

4 hours ago, MatthewDuggar said:

I know nothing about homeschooling, but the evolution of the Duggar School Of The Dining Room Table went something like this:

Early years:  J'Chelle using Wisdom Booklets with all the kids around the table.

Later Early Years: field trips to see a house insulated and "repeat after me" Per Pen Dic U Lar on a boat ride at Disneyland.

Middle years: J'Chelle check out, bank of computers are installed in the loft and Jessa is "in charge".  One howler is seen trying to find a "phonics" workbook in the house and finally comes across is under a pile of crap in a storage room.

Later/Current years: Family friend (sorry the name escapes me) moves in and is in charge of the schooling.  Not many details provided.

That would be Tabitha Paine. She's been living with them for at least a year now.

[MakeItSo]

I have also noticed what you guys have mentioned above, that Blessa and Bin are actually interacting with their kid, instead of just talking about him while he blankly stares into space. They make actual eye contact with the little dude. I don't ever remember Meechelle interacting with or looking at her kids lovingly like that. Of course, she has a 18 more kids than them but that is no excuse to not make each little interaction meaningful...instead of gazing at everyone with soulless eyes. So weird.

[Inky]

Another item to add to the "Jill has had a difficult year" list is the outcry when they posted their missionary donation button and people (rightfully) wanted to know exactly what their money was being used for. I think that was a bit of a wake up call for them. You can't involve other people without being open and honest about what you're doing. That was only last October.

I have a low opinion of them as missionaries anyway. Jill does have a trade that could be very useful in a country where midwives and medical care are limited. Even though she is a CPM and not a CNM or other more educated level of midwife, she does have experience and could easily volunteer at a clinic, doing something. Anything. I'm sure child-care could be arranged. And what exactly is Derrick doing there?

So I checked out their blog to see what they're up to. They are still accepting donations if you feel called to give. They wanted people to donate to help educate Jill's Spanish teachers children....but nothing much around what Derrick is actually doing.

 

[typo brahe]

Jessa & Ben's apparent attitudes toward parenting are surprising, but I don't think it was a totally unlikely outcome. We like to say that Jessa's a bitch and Ben is an idiot - really they're just dramatically stunted in just about every way due to their upbringings. Despite the reasons they got married, or their mindsets throughout the pregnancy with Spurge, I think the moment Spurge became "real" it was a massive wakeup call for them. These people have been living in a horrible little bubble. And now when they look down at the child they love so much, maybe they have a little better perspective. Maybe Jessa realizes how horrible her life at home was. Maybe she's able to see her child as an individual, and maybe that stirs up some resentment toward her parents' constant baby-making. When you see J&B's interaction with Spurge as opposed to J&D's interaction with Izzy, it's almost a bit unsettling. I don't doubt that both couples love their children, but I think Jill's issues have really come to light with the addition of Izzy. She seems very disconnected, but I think Spurge really grounded Jessa and Ben. At least, I hope so. I hope, and I believe that they'll want to continue to cherish Spurge and won't be rushing off to have another child very soon.

[elsie234]

I also get the impression that Ben ans Jessa are totally in love with their son. I'm hoping they will just have a large family and not a mega family. 

I don't think that Ben is likely as stunted as Jessa. Sure, he's immature because of his age and his parents are religious conservatives, but I get the impression that his mother is engaged and loving and he has real relationships würg his family. They "only" have seven kids. His mothee seems to care about their education. I read a comment she made on her instagram about their homeschool coop about how lucky she felt that they had a doctor and a professor in their group to help with the difficult subjects. She is not Michelle. 

I know a few people from high school who are now reformed Calvinist homeschoolers with 6+ kids at age 40 and while I think their kids are sheltered, they are not totally cut off from the world because they are not in a cult. Of course, they have some horrible beliefs that I don't agree with, but I don't think it is fair to compare their upbringing to a cult upbringing. Maybe I am totally off base, though about Ben's family. I'm kind of new around here.  

 

 

[Fundie Bunny]

20 hours ago, Denim Jumper said:

Sounds like mine, as well. The first two were incredibly easy babies; I thought I had that whole parenting all figured out, and was just all kinds of awesome. And along came the third baby... my gawd, that child gave us a run for our money; from a horrific birth and recovery, to near-constant crying all day, every day, for nearly the first year. We yelled all the time so we could hear each other over his crying, lol. Projectile vomited every time he cried, projectile vomited anytime he was offered a pacifier, bottle, or morsel of until he was a good 18 months old. I swear, every single picture of that child shows him with this pissed off "What the fuck are you looking at?" face. Now though, he is the easiest out of all of them. Right about the time he turned 3 (the age where my other two became raving lunatics), he suddenly mellowed out and became the most sweet and tender child; independent, considerate, does not like things to be out of order (the other two mess with him by up-ending his dresser drawers and rearranging his shoe shelf), insists on pitching in with chores. He informed me that he and I need to move to our own apartment because "Daddy and the kids are too loud and messy. "

Can I say that I loooooove tour kid? That's the most adorable things I've e ver heard

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, elsie234 said:

I also get the impression that Ben ans Jessa are totally in love with their son. I'm hoping they will just have a large family and not a mega family. 

I don't think that Ben is likely as stunted as Jessa. Sure, he's immature because of his age and his parents are religious conservatives, but I get the impression that his mother is engaged and loving and he has real relationships würg his family. They "only" have seven kids. His mothee seems to care about their education. I read a comment she made on her instagram about their homeschool coop about how lucky she felt that they had a doctor and a professor in their group to help with the difficult subjects. She is not Michelle. 

I know a few people from high school who are now reformed Calvinist homeschoolers with 6+ kids at age 40 and while I think their kids are sheltered, they are not totally cut off from the world because they are not in a cult. Of course, they have some horrible beliefs that I don't agree with, but I don't think it is fair to compare their upbringing to a cult upbringing. Maybe I am totally off base, though about Ben's family. I'm kind of new around here.  

 

 

 I don't think you're too far off. I do think that Guinn is a much more involved mother who seems to value her kids getting a good education (Ben has an Associate's from an accredited school, and while I think he should be out actually putting that degree to good use, he still got it). I do side-eye the Seewalds quite a lot (and I find Ben's whole Bro-Pastor/St. Thomas Macklemore act annoying), but at least they're not AS stunted as the Duggars. Though as I've said before on FJ, we can play the "at least they're not as X as the Y Family" game ad infinitum.

[TuringMachine]

19 hours ago, halcionne said:

There was a short video of them opening a present for Spurgeon at the TTH. They were definitely there at some point.

You mean one on Jessa's IG? I thought that was the mold house.

[ksgranola1]

3 hours ago, elsie234 said:

I also get the impression that Ben ans Jessa are totally in love with their son. I'm hoping they will just have a large family and not a mega family. 

I don't think that Ben is likely as stunted as Jessa. Sure, he's immature because of his age and his parents are religious conservatives, but I get the impression that his mother is engaged and loving and he has real relationships würg his family. They "only" have seven kids. His mothee seems to care about their education. I read a comment she made on her instagram about their homeschool coop about how lucky she felt that they had a doctor and a professor in their group to help with the difficult subjects. She is not Michelle. 

I know a few people from high school who are now reformed Calvinist homeschoolers with 6+ kids at age 40 and while I think their kids are sheltered, they are not totally cut off from the world because they are not in a cult. Of course, they have some horrible beliefs that I don't agree with, but I don't think it is fair to compare their upbringing to a cult upbringing. Maybe I am totally off base, though about Ben's family. I'm kind of new around here.  

 

 

I thought the Seewald's were Gothard-ites, too. No?

[SassyPants]

16 hours ago, Inky said:

Another item to add to the "Jill has had a difficult year" list is the outcry when they posted their missionary donation button and people (rightfully) wanted to know exactly what their money was being used for. I think that was a bit of a wake up call for them. You can't involve other people without being open and honest about what you're doing. That was only last October.

I have a low opinion of them as missionaries anyway. Jill does have a trade that could be very useful in a country where midwives and medical care are limited. Even though she is a CPM and not a CNM or other more educated level of midwife, she does have experience and could easily volunteer at a clinic, doing something. Anything. I'm sure child-care could be arranged. And what exactly is Derrick doing there?

So I checked out their blog to see what they're up to. They are still accepting donations if you feel called to give. They wanted people to donate to help educate Jill's Spanish teachers children....but nothing much around what Derrick is actually doing.

 

The language is Jill's biggest current barrier. 

Since it seems she no longer attends formal classes, and likely is a shut in when Derick IS AWAY at school, she doesn't really have a chance to hone skills.

She's just a mess in so many ways.

She needs to get back to her cocoon in NWA.

1 hour ago, ksgranola1 said:

I thought the Seewald's were Gothard-ites, too. No?

Nope. They are Calvinists, IIRC.

[RosyDaisy]

The Sewalds were/are VF.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I'm really surprised Jill isn't pregnant again. No way they will use b.c. Whatever happens will be "God's Will" and the baby will be "Precious."

I do think that EVERY Duggar (and Bates and similar) kid who marries and has a few months of privacy will question their upbringing. I think it is VERY obvious though that the older kids did not get the sort of love and care that they should have gotten in the Duggar family at least. One good thing about getting out of the house to film the various trips is that the lock-down was lifted a bit. They've been exposed to at least a few non-cult ideas. That's good.I hope ALL the Duggar girls get to marry a guy who treats them nicely and who really does want children.

 

[halcionne]

1 hour ago, TuringMachine said:

You mean one on Jessa's IG? I thought that was the mold house.

I meant these, but really all it shows is a sofa and idk whose sofa it is. Maybe it IS the mold house.

 

 

 

 

[withaj]

@halcionne -- not quoting because I can't get rid of the YUUUUUGE space, but that's definitely the living room of the mold house.

[jacduggar]

7 minutes ago, halcionne said:

I meant these, but really all it shows is a sofa and idk whose sofa it is. Maybe it IS the mold house.

  Hide contents

 

 

 

 

 

I think it's their house. They have a leather chair  and the TTH is not painted green, it's beige. 

[Jucifer]

1 minute ago, jacduggar said:

I think it's their house. They have a leather chair  and the TTH is not painted green, it's beige. 

Beige.

That color really suits the Duggars. :/

[Cheetah]

On the "Izzy vs Spud  - who's cuter/ smarter/ got better parents" front - my 2 cents is that Izzy is quite big for his age and in most of his pics I've seen, he has his mouth open.  Which doesn't mean anything at all about how smart he is, except there's sort of this bias about 'mouth breathers being less intelligent' and also that he looks older than he really is, so putting those together, he might come across as less intelligent than he really is.  In reality he might be a brilliant kid who needs adenoid surgery when he's a little older ;-).  

[felinefundie]

1 hour ago, Cheetah said:

On the "Izzy vs Spud  - who's cuter/ smarter/ got better parents" front - my 2 cents is that Izzy is quite big for his age and in most of his pics I've seen, he has his mouth open.  Which doesn't mean anything at all about how smart he is, except there's sort of this bias about 'mouth breathers being less intelligent' and also that he looks older than he really is, so putting those together, he might come across as less intelligent than he really is.  In reality he might be a brilliant kid who needs adenoid surgery when he's a little older ;-).  

This. My cousin had a baby who was something like 23 inches long and over 10 pounds at birth. He was HUGE. People were always making comments about how delayed he was, when he was actually progressing quite normally. He just looked like a six month old when he was two months old.