Jessa, Ben & Spurgeon Part 3

[Finduilas]

1 minute ago, OyToTheVey said:

I completely get what you're trying to say. Spurgie is present and aware. Israel never gave off the vibe that he's aware of his surroundings. But I also think it's because of 2 completely different parenting styles. Jill isn't always aware of her surroundings either.

'present and aware' ! this is what I was looking for ^^ 

[Four is Enough]

3 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

I completely get what you're trying to say. Spurgie is present and aware. Israel never gave off the vibe that he's aware of his surroundings. But I also think it's because of 2 completely different parenting styles. Jill isn't always aware of her surroundings either.

This same thing has struck me. Izzy looks like Jill--deer caught in the headlights. Well, neither will ever have wrinkles. They never frown in concentration.

[Finduilas]

5 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

This same thing has struck me. Izzy looks like Jill--deer caught in the headlights. Well, neither will ever have wrinkles. They never frown in concentration.

How sad is it that this image is really accurate ?

I can actually see S.Elliot (I refuse to all him any other name today) turning into a pretty clever kid (on the Duggar scale) like Josiah. Izzy seem more like a JD type.

The difference will probably be bigger when those two starts to talk. Don't know why but I can see S.Elliott starting earlier than Izzy ... He is a preacher's kid after all 

[OyToTheVey]

4 minutes ago, Finduilas said:

How sad is it that this image is really accurate ?

I can actually see S.Elliot (I refuse to all him any other name today) turning into a pretty clever kid (on the Duggar scale) like Josiah. Izzy seem more like a JD type.

The difference will probably be bigger when those two starts to talk. Don't know why but I can see S.Elliott starting earlier than Izzy ... He is a preacher's kid after all 

I always felt that Jessa was smarter than Jill. Not much to go by but wasn't Jessa the one to teach the littles school work? I don't want to be mean but Jill just gives of a 'I'm dumb as a rock' vibe. Spurgie a lot more verbal than Izzy.

[bingbangboom]

Different kids, different parents, similar and different genetics, different result.

I had one really challenging baby and one I could have forgotten existed because he was so low maintenance.

 It is my current goal in life for the littlest boom to allow anybody else to take care of him long enough for me to shower or brush my teeth. You know, luxurious things...

For the record, my easy kid is now the clingy, all mama all the time sort.

[Playagirl]

19 hours ago, Chickenbutt said:

I had 2 boys...as babies, one was easy, slept well, self soothed, giggled and laughed. The other cried all the time, had colic, threw up on me, never slept more than 20-30 minutes at a time and had to be held all the time. My goal in life was to find someone, anyone, else to hold my screaming kid.

This. My daughter had colic and only slept for 10 to 15 minute stretches. She'd start screaming every morning at about 6:30 and would cry until evening. Every day for 3 months. I spent those 3 months with her upright in my arms as she would cry louder in a lying-down position. When she'd drop off for a few minutes I'd run to use the bathroom and then try to cram some food down my throat before she started up again. I was nursing her and pumping didn't work for me so I couldn't leave her with anybody to get a break. I loved her more than anything but, man, whenever we were around anybody else I would jump at the chance to hand  her off for awhile. Most of her early pictures are of her being held by other people.

My son who was born less than 2 years later slept regularly and only cried if he was tired or hungry. He was such a contrast to his sister that I worried there was something wrong with him.

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, OyToTheVey said:

I always felt that Jessa was smarter than Jill. Not much to go by but wasn't Jessa the one to teach the littles school work? I don't want to be mean but Jill just gives of a 'I'm dumb as a rock' vibe. Spurgie a lot more verbal than Izzy.

I feel a bit terrible for thinking that Jill is rather dim. But she definitely gives off a vibe of not being the quickest tractor on the farm.

[VelociRapture]

 

On February 5, 2016 at 1:09 PM, EmmieJ said:

 

What I "feel" when I see the snippets posted on Jessa's instagram is a tenderness towards Spurgeon that I connect to and remember as a new mom myself.  I was so fascinated with every little thing my sweet baby did and I loved interacting with him, playing with him, etc.  In other posts, I've also commented that I see a true bonding and loving relationship between Anna and her children, with Josh being at least affectionate toward his children, rather than a strict disciplinarian.

What I see from the snippets shared by Jill is more often than not, someone else is holding Izzy, while Jill clings to Derrick.  When she is carrying him, it's so often in one kind of holder or another, rather than just in her arms.  I don't know - it's just a different vibe I get from Jill's pictures than I do from Jessa's.  And I can't forget that swaddled Izzy, crying so hard, while his mom takes a picture and then posts it for some reason I cannot fathom.

There are a good number of photos and videos showing Jill holding Israel in her arms. It's entirely possible that, as others have said, Izzy is a demanding kid who always wants to be held. Or maybe other people really do want to hold him and Jill doesn't mind because it gives her a bit of a break.

I honestly don't see a massive difference between the two babies or the parents. If I knew them personally and saw them all the time it would be a different story - but like others have said, we only have a limited amount of photos and videos to go off of.

Jessa seems very happy and content right now. Ben seems to be as well. Whether they remain that way when Quincy gets big enough to explore on his own remains to be seen. It also remains to be seen how people here view their parenting choices over time - it wouldn't be the first time people have turned on members of this family after a decent amount of praise or hope has been heaped on them (please see everything and anything to do with Jill and Derick.)

[PennySycamore]

2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I feel a bit terrible for thinking that Jill is rather dim. But she definitely gives off a vibe of not being the quickest tractor on the farm.

"Quickest tractor on the farm"  I will have to add that one to my list of ways to describe someone who is not the brightest bulb.

[socalrules]

To give Jill the benefit of the doubt, she is stuck in a country where she doesn't understand the culture or language. Her husband is off studying Spanish and she is stuck at home with a baby. She likely has nothing else to do as she doesn't read and they might not even have tv, not that she is a tv watcher. I doubt Jill even ventures out without Derrick. I would bet that Derrick is out and about all the time, even on non class days. Jill just spends the majority of time at home. For all we know, Derrick May have made friends he sees regularly. Jill isn't going to spend time with anyone not like her, which is another reason I thought she was originally happy to be a missionary. She no longer has to spend time with Derrick's worldly friends. 

Jessa, on the other hand, is in familiar surroundings with family and friends. She can always find someone to talk to or somewhere familiar to go. It's a lot easier for her to feel content and happy. She isn't facing any type of adversity. There are no expectations of her. She can just chug along in her comfort zone. 

[Mothership]

On February 5, 2016 at 3:02 PM, SassyPants said:

LOTS of disappointments in 1 year for a person who always saw herself as perfect. Maybe questioning why following the rules is no longer working.

IMO there's a lot of truth to this.  #7 the Dullards flee was really hard on Jill.   I think they thought they were fleeing scrutiny and doing something wonderful/noble.  But in reality, they took Jill away from EVERYTHING she knows and from her support system.  Going from sister moms down the street to isolation in every sense--physical, cultural, language.   And even though J'shelle was a less than hands on mom after the first half dozen, she had to have some feelings for Jill having a first baby.  If nothing else, Jill lost her cheerleaders (JB and DQ).

I too am pleased to see Jessa being  more apparently involved with Spurge (I'm also thrilled to see a video of Bin where he didn't appear to be wearing a hat!).  Maybe the smugness will be the skill necessary for Jess and her "Duggar boy" to break free.

[artdecades]

i have nothing to add to the Jill versus Jessa parenting debate other than to say that I agree that Jill has always come off as a little dim and Jessa can be quite sharp. Stupid people raise wonderful kids and smart people raise terrible kids all the time though.

 

What I did want to comment on was the video. Aside from how cute little Spongebob is, I really liked seeing Ben singing to him. You can really see in his eyes and hear in his voice how much he loves the little guy. I know he is an unemployed child, but its still very sweet to see that connection. Reminds me of how Chad looks at Erin and their baby.

[EmmieJ]

7 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

 

There are a good number of photos and videos showing Jill holding Israel in her arms. It's entirely possible that, as others have said, Izzy is a demanding kid who always wants to be held. Or maybe other people really do want to hold him and Jill doesn't mind because it gives her a bit of a break.

I honestly don't see a massive difference between the two babies or the parents. If I knew them personally and saw them all the time it would be a different story - but like others have said, we only have a limited amount of photos and videos to go off of.

Jessa seems very happy and content right now. Ben seems to be as well. Whether they remain that way when Quincy gets big enough to explore on his own remains to be seen. It also remains to be seen how people here view their parenting choices over time - it wouldn't be the first time people have turned on members of this family after a decent amount of praise or hope has been heaped on them (please see everything and anything to do with Jill and Derick.)

I agree, which is why I tried to qualify my comments by saying my opinion was based on snippets of information.  Not that it matters what I think.  They will parent as they choose.  But since they remain public figures and do share some photos with the general public, most of us will look, analyze briefly, and formulate some thought or opinion.

[EmCatlyn]

12 hours ago, Finduilas said:

Just watched last video of S.Elliot and Ben (which is ridiculously cute) and I wonder if anyone agrees with me that S.Elliot looks more ... aware and talkative (not sure of the proper words in English for baby-related stuffs but basically 'like a kid who is being properly intellectually stimulated') than Israel ? I don't mean it in a judgmental way toward Israel or anything, I just find it striking that Jessa's kid seem to be getting more positive attention while we could have expected him to be a trophy baby no one talks to.

And he is so damn cute. 

I think the words you are looking for may be "alert," "responsive," and "engaged." 

And he is definitely a cutie.

[marmalade]

Small correction w/r/t Jessa "teaching" her siblings. The ones who are 3rd grade and up are self-learning using the Switched on Schoolhouse computer program. Jessa was merely the person who could lig in as admin and check grades and test scores. That's it.

[nastyhobbitses]

On 2/7/2016 at 1:48 AM, marmalade said:

Small correction w/r/t Jessa "teaching" her siblings. The ones who are 3rd grade and up are self-learning using the Switched on Schoolhouse computer program. Jessa was merely the person who could lig in as admin and check grades and test scores. That's it.

See, this makes me loathe Michelle even more. Is it really such a Herculean task to log into a computer program and make sure that your kid is hitting proper academic benchmarks that you have to make your adolescent daughter do it for you? Type in a password, click on child's name, make sure child is getting B's or above, give them a talking-to if they're not. Repeat about 8 times. You can even do it while you're ostentatiously Modestly Breastfeeding your baby you plan to ignore once she becomes capable of independent thought.

[Four is Enough]

5 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

. You can even do it while you're ostentatiously Modestly Breastfeeding your baby you plan to ignore once she becomes capable of independent thought. feeding herself

Fixed that for you. Independent thought? Not permitted.

[LittleSpouseOnThePrairie]

I have another developing hypothesis to explore. Do you all remember the 19kac episode where Jill & der announced their pregnancy to family during that *staged* bible study, and the camera caught Ben turning to Jessa and saying "they beat us again" and Jessa quickly jabbed him to shut him up? That scene has always stood out in my mind. It was so telling of the ongoing dialogue between Ben & Jessa regarding a "rivalry" with Jill and Derrick. 

At the time, to me, it had seemed like Jill was hellbent on being first at everything because she was so threatened at the thought of not being at the forefront of her parents' attention. I think Jessa and ben seemed offended at the drive-thru courtship and race to the altar that Jill and Derrick had instigated.

Anyway, moving later to Jill totally posed beaming over her baby bump in her sister's wedding pics, it seemed she still felt she was "winning." Once Izzy was here and Spurge was on the way, you could see changes in Jill's smile. The only way she can keep competing for "fundiest duggar" is to attempt missionary work and have more & more children and reality is setting in on what being a grown up and parent really requires.  Jessa and Ben seem more content to go with flow and aren't as hasty in decision making (it seems).

[ksgranola1]

I took it to be a friendly rivalry. Remember when ben & Derrick were building a platform for their "show?" Ben said something to the effect of: "Let's see who can get to the alter first." & Derrick said, "You're on." The thing that got me about that very scene of the pregnancy announcement was JB's reaction. He got right up in Derrick's face & I thought he was going to hit him when all the cheering started. JB was doing the math in his head & thought he had caught him "defrauding." If there is a clip of it on youtube, go see. It was an epic JB moment.

[singsingsing]

1 hour ago, LittleSpouseOnThePrairie said:

I have another developing hypothesis to explore. Do you all remember the 19kac episode where Jill & der announced their pregnancy to family during that *staged* bible study, and the camera caught Ben turning to Jessa and saying "they beat us again" and Jessa quickly jabbed him to shut him up? That scene has always stood out in my mind. It was so telling of the ongoing dialogue between Ben & Jessa regarding a "rivalry" with Jill and Derrick. 

Uh, was this a dream you had or something? Because it definitely never happened.

 

I don't remember what you describe happening at any point in that episode, but even if it did, why would you assume he was serious...? Jessa and Ben weren't even engaged at that point. Obviously they weren't expecting Jessa to get pregnant before Jill.

[ksgranola1]

Quote

 

You're right; I was miss-remembering it.

[socalrules]

So I have a question about the computer homeschooling. I can understand using some computer programs but if you are using computers for everything, can you really be considered to be homeschooling? So do these kids get any teaching from a live person? Do they use review material in a book and then test on the computer? Most homeschoolers I have known used real books, actually taught the material to their children and worked through the problems with them when they needed help. If everything the Duggars do is taught by the computer, it's no wonder James was learning his multiplication tables at 13. Homeschooling should be about giving kids more one-on-one time to learn the material. Not more time with the computer. 

[LittleSpouseOnThePrairie]

On February 7, 2016 at 8:14 AM, singsingsing said:

Uh, was this a dream you had or something? Because it definitely never happened.

 

I don't remember what you describe happening at any point in that episode, but even if it did, why would you assume he was serious...? Jessa and Ben weren't even engaged at that point. Obviously they weren't expecting Jessa to get pregnant before Jill.

I remember it happening, I think it was a talking head where Ben made that crack, (might have not have been on the same episode either) and yes he was joking not serious, but I always feel there's a little truth in sarcasm with the Duggars. All I mean is there has been talk before from "sources close to the Duggars" about there being some annoyance that Ben and Jessa were courting before Jill and Derrick but they got to jump into marriage first.... Anyway as I stated, I was just hypothesizing and sharing my thought. I don't take Duggar discussion super seriously, it's more for amusement to me. At least that's why I participate in the Duggar snark... :-)

[SassyPants]

9 minutes ago, LittleSpouseOnThePrairie said:

I remember it happening, I think it was a talking head where Ben made that crack, (might have not have been on the same episode either) and yes he was joking not serious, but I always feel there's a little truth in sarcasm with the Duggars. All I mean is there has been talk before from "sources close to the Duggars" about there being some annoyance that Ben and Jessa were courting before Jill and Derrick but they got to jump into marriage first.... Anyway as I stated, I was just hypothesizing and sharing my thought. I don't take Duggar discussion super seriously, it's more for amusement to me. At least that's why I participate in the Duggar snark... :-)

Sometimes things get edited out when the episodes are in replay.

TLC does that a lot.

Remember when Jill blurted out in an episode of not knowing whether Miss Cathy would "make it all"?

That particular line was edited out when that episode was replayed.

[Denim Jumper]

On 2/5/2016 at 4:14 PM, Chickenbutt said:

I was so overwhelmed with my cranky baby. I did not have PPD, but was sleep deprived, worn out and bitchy. Hubby did what he could when he was home, but the majority of care fell to me. Interestingly enough, as they grew, the cranky baby became a mellow, self assured, easy going child. The "good" baby became the toddler and child from hell.....ADHD, slight OCD, class clown, outgoing, funny and into everything. Thankfully they grew into great adults. The cranky baby continues to be easy going, self assured and doesn't cause me a bit of worry. The good child is a whirlwind of activity, busy, disorganized and quite frankly, a mess. But he is my mess....lol

Sounds like mine, as well. The first two were incredibly easy babies; I thought I had that whole parenting all figured out, and was just all kinds of awesome. And along came the third baby... my gawd, that child gave us a run for our money; from a horrific birth and recovery, to near-constant crying all day, every day, for nearly the first year. We yelled all the time so we could hear each other over his crying, lol. Projectile vomited every time he cried, projectile vomited anytime he was offered a pacifier, bottle, or morsel of until he was a good 18 months old. I swear, every single picture of that child shows him with this pissed off "What the fuck are you looking at?" face. Now though, he is the easiest out of all of them. Right about the time he turned 3 (the age where my other two became raving lunatics), he suddenly mellowed out and became the most sweet and tender child; independent, considerate, does not like things to be out of order (the other two mess with him by up-ending his dresser drawers and rearranging his shoe shelf), insists on pitching in with chores. He informed me that he and I need to move to our own apartment because "Daddy and the kids are too loud and messy. "