Miss Raquel's Second Novel- Part 2

[Walking Cat Bed]

Raquel, sweetie...

 

Have you tried writing short stories instead of novels? Give yourself a page limit -- that's the amount of space you have for that story. That's all you get. Make it count.

 

And give spellcheck some love.

[clueliss]

Maybe she should check out flash fiction.  Short enough to keep her interest.  

[Georgiana]

Maybe

She should just

go back to spacing text weird and calling it

• P
• O
• E
• T
• R
• Y

[OnceUponATime]

Pretty lines

Oddly spaced

Eventually with rhyming

Trying to write poetry

Rhythm be damned 

You can really only live to write once

[Terrie]

Guys, guys. Didn't you read on her site that it's not for "counterfeit, normal or perfect souls." Clearly this is why we don't appreciate her comments on the benefits of black clothing, or thrill to monsters that are easily defeated but never seen.

[Shoobydoo]

On 2/8/2016 at 0:31 PM, Curious said:

Hah..figured out quoting this time.

another nitpick.  Isn't overtaking an odd word to use there?  I'd use invading probably.  Sometimes a thesaurus is a dangerous tool  

I assume she's an Attack on Titan fan. (A popular anime whose Japanese name roughly translates to "overtaking giants")

[AmazonGrace]

3 hours ago, Terrie said:

Guys, guys. Didn't you read on her site that it's not for "counterfeit, normal or perfect souls." Clearly this is why we don't appreciate her comments on the benefits of black clothing, or thrill to monsters that are easily defeated but never seen.

Who is it for then?  If fake, dishonest people are out, normal people are out, perfect people are out, who all are left? 

[Curious]

21 hours ago, clueliss said:

Hmmm well she doesn't describe the 'monsters'  maybe they're really penis ferrets?

I'm not sure it counts if they aren't ORANGE and MYSTICAL....just sayin'

[snarkykitty]

This part slayed me...

“Do you have a backpack or anything?”

I shook my head.

“Well, I have mine.  And I have some snacks in it, an extra hoodie, a few knives and three guns.”

 

Wanna bet the dude gives her his "extra hoodie," something happens and they are separated, and she keeps faith alive by smelling that hoodie as she wraps herself with it, imagining that the fabric arms of the cotton-poly blend red hoodie were his loving arms, cradling her, caressing her skin...

[Curious]

3 hours ago, Terrie said:

Guys, guys. Didn't you read on her site that it's not for "counterfeit, normal or perfect souls." Clearly this is why we don't appreciate her comments on the benefits of black clothing, or thrill to monsters that are easily defeated but never seen.

Ok so no fake (again, put away the thesaurus, Raquel), normal or perfect souls.  What does that leave us? abnormal, imperfect, genuine souls?

 

[ari_belle]

Why do I get the feeling that we're the only ones who read her blog?

[Georgiana]

54 minutes ago, snarkykitty said:

This part slayed me...

“Do you have a backpack or anything?”

I shook my head.

“Well, I have mine.  And I have some snacks in it, an extra hoodie, a few knives and three guns.”

 

Wanna bet the dude gives her his "extra hoodie," something happens and they are separated, and she keeps faith alive by smelling that hoodie as she wraps herself with it, imagining that the fabric arms of the cotton-poly blend red hoodie were his loving arms, cradling her, caressing her skin...

Ugh.  The only other dialog THAT stilted I have ever read is from Sarah Maxwell.  "Time is of the utmost importance! We must wake dad!" 

Maybe they should collab and do a crossover.  "Aliens with the Moodys".

[formergothardite]

14 minutes ago, ari_belle said:

Why do I get the feeling that we're the only ones who read her blog?

She doesn't get the comments like she used to. Her blog used to appeal to fundie maidens but now they wouldn't like her blog and most normal teens and young adults wouldn't want to read it either. It pretty much attracts just us. 

[xRoo]

Raquel has the opportunity of a life time. What are we thinking it is?!?

[formergothardite]

College? Who am I kidding. It is something ridiculous like she has the opportunity to sell t-shirts at a Christian music concert.

[clueliss]

(instragram) she (and her friends) crash random youth groups?  

[formergothardite]

From her blog it looks like Raquel is getting involved with IHOP and not the place that serves pancakes. Is this the opportunity of a lifetime she is talking about? 

Quote

 exciting news for the relaunch of a website (psst, you probably can guess which one I'm referring to;)

I have been one of Raquel's most loyal followers, I have no clue what she is talking about. Is she talking about her blog? Another one? 

[DaffyDill]

That stupid monster story has a very similar story to the TV series "Falling Skies". Even the part about "brainwashing" people and using them - in "Falling Skies" the aliens used a biomechanics spine they attached to human teens to control them

Not very original Raquel. Why am I not surprised?

[Vex]

I'm just going to say this:

Raquel is a genuinely terrible writer.



I'm sure that a large part of that is her refusal to take blunt critique but even so, her level of innate skill is truthfully just low. I've seen the work of many young writers who have had no guidance and no critique (other than their own). They were unpolished, but they had a way with words and a knack for storytelling that suggested they had genuine potential.

In addition to her obvious lack of critiquing, I suspect Raquel isn't much of a reader. She might devour YA novels and romance trash, but I seriously doubt she reads widely. People who read widely absorb grammar and spelling and a feel for the flow of sentences just from being exposed to so many books. Raquel's manner of writing suggests she writes the way she thinks and speaks, which is often (in my experience anyway) indicative of a writer who isn't much of a reader*.

 

 

*Not that there's anything wrong with a writer who knows what they're doing writing that way as a stylistic choice.

[clueliss]

She would do herself a favor by finding a real life or online critique group.  Granted, this means opening herself up to opinions - and yes, that is hard.  She also needs to be willing to sort out and take said feedback go back and edit.  Writing is hard.  Editing is harder.  it required effort.  And a thick skin.  She might have to go kill her darlings.

Since I have read through the Raquel archives here on the board (did not go back to Yuku) and browsed (Skimmed at times) through her blog (to the extent that older things are actually left on her blog at this point) I notice a trend with her to do a short piece and slap it up on the blog.  I keep writer's journals for this.  I learned to do this in a college creative writing class (taken at a junior college in a night class after I received the accounting degree).  It used to be on paper.  I tend to keep it electronically now.  I don't throw these things out there for general consumption.  I suspect that Raquel needs to be acknowledged as a 'real writer' so the blog and the stories she throws out there are a way of doing that.  Which is fine but there is more to writing than just slapping things together.  

And yes, her normal writing style on the blog (which has a conversational tone to it) has the same style as that fiction piece to it (by the way, did you really put were in the title to that, Raquel?) complete with a lot of was/were usage.  Which is fine for conversational level blog writing and not okay for fiction writing.  

I would say, she needs to read about writing or take a real college creative writing class but she reminds me of someone I know from an old critique group who 'read 22 books on writing and just wants to write.'  This person really needed a teacher to work with her on some things.  Needed to learn to take feedback and put it into editing/rewriting.  In her case getting feedback from a critique group didn't help her in the way it could because she didn't understand some of the things the rest of us were trying to tell her.  (By the way, I own more than 22 books related to writing so the I've read comment cracked me up)

As long as I'm doing a big wall o'text post.  From her blog about a year ago my reaction is WTF Raquel - were you really attempting to be relevant by trying to discuss 50 Shades???  And it was clear that you were parroting things others said about it.  

Finally, as for her opportunity of a lifetime, she later retweeted something about a movie filming.  She probably has a nonspeaking extra background crowd 'role' in said movie.  

Oh and Raquel - I have my twitter set to not show me 'sensitive material' (meaning don't put pictures of naked people on my twitter feed) - the astrology crap you're retweeting is now flagged as 'sensitive material.'    How about finding some legit (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh) astrology stuff to retweet.  

[salex]

16 hours ago, formergothardite said:

From her blog it looks like Raquel is getting involved with IHOP and not the place that serves pancakes. Is this the opportunity of a lifetime she is talking about? 

I have been one of Raquel's most loyal followers, I have no clue what she is talking about. Is she talking about her blog? Another one? 

IHOP could explain her " college"talk, too.   Their headquarters is a few miles from my home.  I honestly hope she does not get involved with this cult.

 

[clueliss]

Oh boy.  IHoP.   Gives me the heebies.  Someone downstairs at work has a MIL involved with that group and he rolls his eyes.  A friend from before I moved was helping to raise money for someone her son was at that 'school' in Arkansas who was doing some 'internship' at that place.  And why am I recalling some murder associated with people from IHoP?

[formergothardite]

She does not need to get involved with IHoP, but she is exactly the sort of person they prey on. 

[xRoo]

According to Twitter she is working on a project involving singles on the blog? Oh boy. This should be good.

[salex]

6 hours ago, clueliss said:

Oh boy.  IHoP.   Gives me the heebies.  Someone downstairs at work has a MIL involved with that group and he rolls his eyes.  A friend from before I moved was helping to raise money for someone her son was at that 'school' in Arkansas who was doing some 'internship' at that place.  And why am I recalling some murder associated with people from IHoP?

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/love-and-death-in-the-house-of-prayer-20140121

The above story would be what you are thinking of, I suspect. 

Remember the prayer rally in Texas that Rick Perry put on years ago? Virtually every one of the groups involved with putting it on were offshoots of IHOP. 

My current Governor, Brownback, has various associations with them. 

I wonder if the college Raquel is thinking of is Ihop University http://www.ihopkc.org/ihopu/  
BTW, their interns are not only not paid, but pay to be interns, plus room and board, I think.