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Woman wasn't sure how painkillers and relaxants got into her area and now narcotics


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A Florida woman told guards at a jail that she just had no idea how the pills got from her purse into her vagina;

thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/florida-vagina-pills-674823

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Dusty Rae Ingram, 38, was arrested earlier this month for violating probation terms imposed in connection with her 2013 conviction for child abuse and battery, according to court records.

Ingram, whose rap sheet also includes collars for stalking, assault, and theft, was transported January 5 to the Okaloosa County jail, where a female corrections officer conducted a strip search during the intake process.

During the search, the jailer discovered “several pills taped up in a plastic jeweler’s bag, partially exposed in the defendant’s vagina.” After being read her rights, Ingram identified the pills as the painkiller Percocet and Zanaflex, a muscle relaxant.

Pictured above, Ingram claimed to have a prescription for the medications, and admitted that she “knew she was not allowed to bring the pills into the jail.” However, Ingram “denied doing so knowingly,” claiming that she “keeps the pills in her purse and is unsure how they got from the purse into her vagina.”

 

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She must have been trying to put them back in her purse and made an innocent mistake. Easy enough to confuse. See:  

 

Spoiler

pu*s*  

pu*s*

 

now you tell me which one is which. 

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Hahahahaha.

oh yeah we'll believe you didn't know how yeah right 

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I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me! "Honey, where are the keys?" "I don't know, darling, have you checked your snatch?" "Oh, silly me! You're right! Oh! And there's my Chapstick, too!" "and from what I felt last night, your sunglasses may be in there as well"  Its almost daily in our house.

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A coworker's sister is a guard in a local women's correctional facility.  When she has to do a body cavity search, she announces, "Empty your purse, please, ma'am."

Which is one reason why I wouldn't work in a prison.  No body cavity searches for me, I had enough unpleasant procedures to do already---

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 1/22/2016 at 7:27 AM, AmazonGrace said:

The only trouble is, sunglasses and pills don't vibrate.

They don't?

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 Finally! The word vagina was used properly.

I originally wrote vagina was used properly, but that's a matter of personal preference.

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15 minutes ago, polecat said:

Geez, people, easy mistake to make! 

 

maybe nsfw?

  Reveal hidden contents

53d536544c9d3_-_vagina-purse.jpg

 

 

That explains so, so much!

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20 minutes ago, manda b said:

Vagina=Nature's pocket

Or Nature's Hot Pocket!

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Maybe she sat on it by accident when not wearing underwear, like that guy I read about once did when he had to go to the hospital for an emergency rectal potato removal.

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On 2/18/2016 at 7:44 AM, samurai_sarah said:

That explains so, so much!

But.... mine doesn't have a zipper.  Why am I different?

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On February 19, 2016 at 11:23 AM, ILoveJellybeans said:

Maybe she sat on it by accident when not wearing underwear, like that guy I read about once did when he had to go to the hospital for an emergency rectal potato removal.

Sounds like an episode of Untold Stories of the ER. Some of those stories crack me up. 

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Another person using her vagina as nature's hot pocket...

thesmokinggun.com/buster/cocaine/jfk-cocaine-smuggler-547820

Quote

A woman traveling from Jamaica to New York was arrested Sunday after federal agents discovered that she was smuggling half a pound of cocaine in her vagina.

Shekira Thompson, a 21-year-old U.S. citizen, flew from Kingston to John F. Kennedy International Airport, where during questioning from Customs and Border Protection officers she reportedly “admitted to vaginally inserting a foreign body.”

That foreign body, seen above, was a “vaginal insert” that weighed eight ounces and was filled with cocaine, according to federal officials who estimated the drug’s street value at $10,000.

facepalm4.gif.1d065fa5481f7a02b4b24e9a41

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Looking at that thing it's much better in the vagina than swallowed or stuck into her arse. 

And she didn't want to put it in her luggage and risk going over the allowed weight. So. What's a girl to do.  

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1 hour ago, Hera said:

This is why you don't sit on public toilet seats, people.  No telling what might scootch on in there. 

It burrrrnnnnnssssss!

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

A Florida (obviously) woman is in even more trouble with the law after a crack pipe was found hidden in her vagina at the local jail after her arrest.

thesmokinggun.com/buster/cocaine/crack-pipe-storage-claim-534721

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A woman arrested for cocaine possession told Florida jailers that the crack pipe found hidden in her vagina was not her property, but rather she was storing the drug paraphernalia for a friend.

Tiffany Flores, 23, was arrested yesterday afternoon following a traffic stop in Fellsmere, a city just north of Vero Beach (where Flores resides).

Upon arriving at the county jail, Flores claimed that she could not go through a scanner since she was pregnant. But after a pregnancy test showed negative results, “jail staff processed Flores through the body scanner.” That is when officers noticed a “foreign object located inside of Flores’s vaginal area.”

Flores claimed that her pal “threw the crack pipe on her lap” and asked her to hide the item when a patrolman began following them. “Flores then hid it inside of her vagina in an attempt to avoid a search,” according to the affidavit.

facepalm4.gif

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You know, it really is the first place the authorities look.  Let's let this be a lesson to us all.  

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