Sierra Jo Dominguez Abysmal Wedding Planner Part 2

[downtherabbithole]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

TV?

Joy Duggar

[ClaraOswin]

15 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Sierra is indeed a recent convert (at age 19 or 20) to quiverfull fundyism, according to her blog: http://dojosdesigns.blogspot.com/

Recent converts to anything are often the most zealous of them all.

Everything I need to know about Sierra can be summed up in a comment she made last week on the Instagram of Mimi Sayler Champagne, sister to Nathan Bates' girlfriend Ashley.

Mimi posted a baby bump picture and talked about her health fears (her toddler daughter has a heart defect, and it turns out this baby may also have heart problems).

Sierra's reply:

sierrajodominguezYour willingness to sacrifice your body, so that your husband can leave a legacy, is what is most beautiful about this picture. @mimichamp

https://www.instagram.com/mimichamp/

 

 

Was looking at this lady's pictures. What is with these people not knowing how to use a car seat properly?! GRRRR! That child's straps look too loose. Her coat looks too thick. And she looks pretty small to be foward facing.

[RabbitKM]

17 hours ago, Alicja said:

but is anyone noticing the shade she's throwing at Black Lives Matter?

get a fucking grip, girl. living, breathing children are dying at the hands of our own governments. 10 people have already died in Flint, and we have lost countless more to police brutality. 

She says they didn't hurt any police officers with their march, but if she cares about life, she should be concerned about all the people that police officers have hurt when they march. 

[isarhenne]

Idk, people say that until you're 25 your brain is not fully develloped and cannot make mature decisions properly, in not being able to process all possible consequences etc... So I guess you can give a pass to people who convert to extreme fundamentalism before that age. But why do they stay that way even years after or all their lives? Is it out of fear? Are they trapped because by the age of 25 they will have 5 children (that especially concernes women)? It must be fear, feeling trapped and detachment from their own feelings? What is the psychology behind all this? Anyone here who can answer these questions?

[isarhenne]

On 17.1.2016 at 10:04 PM, ClaraOswin said:

Who do you think watches her kids while she exercises? 

Her unmarried sisters or cousins or friends? Gotta find some lame ass females who are not married, therefore inferiour and willing to serve her for free in order to stay in shape for her husband so he wants to keep planting his legacy into her womb.

 

Maybe like that?

[nastyhobbitses]

3 hours ago, RabbitKM said:

She says they didn't hurt any police officers with their march, but if she cares about life, she should be concerned about all the people that police officers have hurt when they march. 

Ah, but those people aren't white people righteous Christians who respect authority like Billy G tells you to.

[habert]

7 hours ago, isarhenne said:

Idk, people say that until you're 25 your brain is not fully develloped and cannot make mature decisions properly, in not being able to process all possible consequences etc... So I guess you can give a pass to people who convert to extreme fundamentalism before that age. But why do they stay that way even years after or all their lives? Is it out of fear? Are they trapped because by the age of 25 they will have 5 children (that especially concernes women)? It must be fear, feeling trapped and detachment from their own feelings? What is the psychology behind all this? Anyone here who can answer these questions?

Sunk cost

[apandaaries]

8 hours ago, isarhenne said:

Idk, people say that until you're 25 your brain is not fully develloped and cannot make mature decisions properly, in not being able to process all possible consequences etc... So I guess you can give a pass to people who convert to extreme fundamentalism before that age. But why do they stay that way even years after or all their lives? Is it out of fear? Are they trapped because by the age of 25 they will have 5 children (that especially concernes women)? It must be fear, feeling trapped and detachment from their own feelings? What is the psychology behind all this? Anyone here who can answer these questions?

I agree with @habert: sunk cost fallacy.  Most of them will have several kids by then. Rather than using their early 20s getting an education, which could help them find well- (or at least better) paid work, they're breeding like bunnies.  A lot of them are in red states with meager benefits; even in the blue states with better policies, it is HARD to work with kids, or go to school with kids.  There's only so much time, and child care is often prohibitively expensive.  

I have a bit of an obsession with the FLDS and other fundamentalist, polygamist Mormon cults.  They have the same strategy: indoctrinate from birth, marry them early, make sure there are plenty of kids and no escape route.  Actually, this works for some branches of Orthodox Judaism, as well.  I've read a lot of books by survivors of these groups, and most escape only when things become truly bad or there is some particular crisis which propels them from the faith.  

How Sierra, raised in a much more mainstream fashion, came to embrace this is still beyond me.  It could be that she has a family tragedy in her past, like Derrick's sudden loss of his father, leading to a yearning for total belonging and a sense of order in the universe -- God's order and divine plan.  I'm working on another Hasidic Jewish memoir at the moment, but next in line is Uncovered, by Leah Lax.  She was a young Texan who converted, lived the Hasidic lifestyle for thirty years, then broke away.  She seems to have some parallels with Sierra, so perhaps there's some greater insight in there about how people can change so drastically and cling to tightly to newfound beliefs which oppress them.  

[nastyhobbitses]

5 hours ago, amandaaries said:

I agree with @habert: sunk cost fallacy.  Most of them will have several kids by then. Rather than using their early 20s getting an education, which could help them find well- (or at least better) paid work, they're breeding like bunnies.  A lot of them are in red states with meager benefits; even in the blue states with better policies, it is HARD to work with kids, or go to school with kids.  There's only so much time, and child care is often prohibitively expensive.  

I have a bit of an obsession with the FLDS and other fundamentalist, polygamist Mormon cults.  They have the same strategy: indoctrinate from birth, marry them early, make sure there are plenty of kids and no escape route.  Actually, this works for some branches of Orthodox Judaism, as well.  I've read a lot of books by survivors of these groups, and most escape only when things become truly bad or there is some particular crisis which propels them from the faith.  

How Sierra, raised in a much more mainstream fashion, came to embrace this is still beyond me.  It could be that she has a family tragedy in her past, like Derrick's sudden loss of his father, leading to a yearning for total belonging and a sense of order in the universe -- God's order and divine plan.  I'm working on another Hasidic Jewish memoir at the moment, but next in line is Uncovered, by Leah Lax.  She was a young Texan who converted, lived the Hasidic lifestyle for thirty years, then broke away.  She seems to have some parallels with Sierra, so perhaps there's some greater insight in there about how people can change so drastically and cling to tightly to newfound beliefs which oppress them.  

There's no zealot like a convert.

Also, Sierra commented that she wears workout pants under skirts because she's teaching her three boys to look at a girl's heart instead of her clothes. How about you teach your boys self-control and not to see any flash of skin as sexual/dirty/forbidden/an invitation for sex?

Now look, if you want to dress modestly FOR YOURSELF as a symbol of your faith and personal preferences, that's totally cool. You do you and wear whatever is most comfortable and suitable for you. But when you 1) act like you're better than other women or more worthy of respect because less of your dirtypillows are showing and 2) teach boys that immodest women are unworthy of dignity or respect and that it's a woman's fault if a boy rapes them, you're an asshole.

[ClaraOswin]

I don't have a problem with people who want to dress modestly for whatever reason. I, myself, dress more on the "modest" side for comfort reasons.

But the reason they do it just blows my mind. I cannot believe they don't see how fucked up it is!

It's called self control. Teach your boys what that is. You can also teach them to look at someone's character and personality no matter what clothes that person has on.

What someone is wearing shouldn't dictate if they deserve your respect.

Do you guys think Sierra knows about FJ or about this thread? I would love for her to come over here and read it. 

[CorruptionInc.]

2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

There's no zealot like a convert.

Also, Sierra commented that she wears workout pants under skirts because she's teaching her three boys to look at a girl's heart instead of her clothes. How about you teach your boys self-control and not to see any flash of skin as sexual/dirty/forbidden/an invitation for sex?

 

I agree. Josh Duggar could do with this lesson as well.

However that would also involve teaching them to have respect for women and we know that fundies don't do that.

[Front Hugging Fiend]

1 hour ago, ClaraOswin said:

I don't have a problem with people who want to dress modestly for whatever reason. I, myself, dress more on the "modest" side for comfort reasons.

But the reason they do it just blows my mind. I cannot believe they don't see how fucked up it is!

It's called self control. Teach your boys what that is. You can also teach them to look at someone's character and personality no matter what clothes that person has on.

What someone is wearing shouldn't dictate if they deserve your respect. 

That's my biggest problem with the modesty 'values' Sierra and other fundies talk about. They openly discuss modesty as being for the benefit of the men, as if men are completely incapable of restraining themselves. This whole 'defrauding' bullcrap is not only ludicrous, but incredibly demeaning. You'd think for a culture that celebrates men so much, they'd hold THEM to a higher standard, not the women.

Self control. Oh what a lesson they'd benefit from.

Nothing wrong with modesty if that's what makes you, as the wearer, comfortable. But the second you start dressing for others, you've got a problem.

[Heathen525]

My SO is an ObGyn. While we will probably wind up having kids (I'm thinking two), he often comes home and tells me semi-jokingly, "never get pregnant." He knows how hard pregnancy can be on a woman's body and how it can change someone forever. He CARES about my health. It's bonkers how fundies brag about their marriages but always seem to have awful ones.

[EmCatlyn]

1 hour ago, Front Hugging Fiend said:

That's my biggest problem with the modesty 'values' Sierra and other fundies talk about. They openly discuss modesty as being for the benefit of the men, as if men are completely incapable of restraining themselves. This whole 'defrauding' bullcrap is not only ludicrous, but incredibly demeaning. You'd think for a culture that celebrates men so much, they'd hold THEM to a higher standard, not the women.

Self control. Oh what a lesson they'd benefit from.

Nothing wrong with modesty if that's what makes you, as the wearer, comfortable. But the second you start dressing for others, you've got a problem.

The Gothardite use of the word "defrauding" has bothered me since I first heard it.  In ordinary use, the word "defrauding" is akin to "cheating."  A "fraud" is a deception, a false pretense. 

When you start saying that women to whom men are attracted are "defrauding" the men unless the women are ready to put out, you are essentially saying that attractive women who are not whores are liars and cheats who use their feminine appeal to take advantage of men.  The women who don't "defraud" because they give men "what they offer" are whores who lead men into sin.   Either way, attractive women are bad.  If they are attractive and virtuous, they are defrauders (ball busters).  If they are attractive and generous with their "favors" they are Jezebels.

And since any woman may be attractive to  (that is, stir up sexual thoughts in) some man, pretty much all women are bad because men can lust after them.

"Modest" clothing will make little difference.  The more you cover, the more it is likely that the uncovered parts  or the shape or even the idea of what is covered will excite.  The point of "modest" clothing is not to prevent masculine lust.  The point of modest clothing is to communicate how the woman wants to be seen.

I am offended by a world view that presents women as "bad" no matter what they do.  Many women will be fooled and flattered into thinking that they are being given "power" along with the responsibility for male sexual responses.  (I suspect Michelle and Jana feel this way.). But most women who take Gothard teachings seriously must be wracked with guilt all the time. 

My husband and I make jokes about "defrauding."  If one of us is undressing for bed or bath, the other may complain about being defrauded, for example.  It is a ridiculous word to use in place of "attracts" or "excites."  But the attitude towards women underlying the use isn't funny.  It is scary.

[Yes, TOTALLY]

Sierra is so holier-than-thou. Wearing skirts over exercise pants won't teach her sons to judge girls by their characters rather than their clothes. It will do the opposite. They'll see their mother and sisters in long skirts and think they're good, holy women and see 'normal' girls on the street in shorts and think that they're whores.

[Bad Wolf]

Maybe the fundie women could wear burqas. Very modest and show no skin or shape. Seriously, they worry so much about modesty and defrauding. I think that's insulting to men. 

[HereticHick]

As much as most fundy Protestant Americans will deny it, they have a Hell of a Lot in common with Muslim and Jewish fundamentalists--especially when it comes to their dark ages views of women.

[candygirl200413]

To piggy back on those saying that dressing modest is because of the guy not being able to have any self-control I'm surprised that none of these fundie men have been like "wow these women don't think I can control myself". I guess that's what surprises me the most about this, is that not only is self control not taught to these men but they just need to have the woman to take those extra steps to make sure they not getting turned on.

[choralcrusader8613]

2 minutes ago, candygirl200413 said:

To piggy back on those saying that dressing modest is because of the guy not being able to have any self-control I'm surprised that none of these fundie men have been like "wow these women don't think I can control myself". I guess that's what surprises me the most about this, is that not only is self control not taught to these men but they just need to have the woman to take those extra steps to make sure they not getting turned on.

Exactly! You'd think they'd be mad that they didn't trust him with that much self-control. Guess not...

[bea]

Since the man is head of the household, and is the umbrella over the entire family, it seems really weird he is unable to control his sexual urges when he catches sight of some random woman's shoulder. Or bra strap. Or maybe, the back of her neck.

Not only does the modesty movement make it so that women cannot possibly win - we are whores if we put out, we are defrauding if we don't - it also makes men sound so incredibly weak. Should a person really be in charge of a family's spiritual well-being, and make all the decisions for this particular family, if he cannot control himself around a woman who is showing any part of her body that he might find arousing? What if he has an ankle fetish? Again, nobody wins.

[RosyDaisy]

As much as most fundy Protestant Americans will deny it, they have a Hell of a Lot in common with Muslim and Jewish fundamentalists--especially when it comes to their dark ages views of women.

This! A million times this. No fundamentalist Christian will ever see it that way. In fact, they will do mental gymnastics to argue against it.

[ClaraOswin]

I find it so strange that people like the Duggars don't seem to teach self control. Or personal accountability. They need women to cover up so they won't have lustful thoughts? They need a chaperon so they won't just jump across the table and have sex or something?

I think if people want to wait until they are married to kiss or have sex or whatever...then more power to them. But seriously, hold yourselves accountable if that's something you really want. You shouldn't have to rely on someone outside the relationship to hold you accountable.

It bothers me so much that they don't teach these things. I have a son. He will learn self control. He will be independent. He will not treat women (or men) as sex objects. He won't rely on someone else to keep him in check.

It is my job as his parent to TEACH him these things in life. (TEACH, not "train.")

[Jucifer]

To me it seems painfully obvious that Gothard has taken his personal psychopathology and turned it into a religion.

That's why all this 'dressing modestly' stuff seems so ridiculous- because it IS ridiculous. It only makes sense from the point of view of a power hungry perv.

Ugh. I'm overdue for a brain bleach session.

[Mrsaztx]

16 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

I find it so strange that people like the Duggars don't seem to teach self control. Or personal accountability. They need women to cover up so they won't have lustful thoughts? They need a chaperon so they won't just jump across the table and have sex or something?

I think if people want to wait until they are married to kiss or have sex or whatever...then more power to them. But seriously, hold yourselves accountable if that's something you really want. You shouldn't have to rely on someone outside the relationship to hold you accountable.

It bothers me so much that they don't teach these things. I have a son. He will learn self control. He will be independent. He will not treat women (or men) as sex objects. He won't rely on someone else to keep him in check.

It is my job as his parent to TEACH him these things in life. (TEACH, not "train.")

That's what I don't understand about their courting. They say "they've set their own boundaries and are holding themselves accountable" but then they can't freaking hug because it may "lead to something". A) you aren't holding yourself accountable or setting your own boundaries when you have to plop a 10 year old between you when you sit in a car. and I've hugged plenty of people I was attracted to, while still somehow managing to not strip naked and mount them right then and there. Hell, I've even done it while (really really) drunk. Yet these people, who have Jesus on their side, or whatever, can't seem to manage that, hand holding, kissing, or even sitting next to one another without losing all control? Sounds like they're doing something wrong

[unforgiving]

On 1/20/2016 at 7:22 AM, isarhenne said:

Idk, people say that until you're 25 your brain is not fully develloped and cannot make mature decisions properly, in not being able to process all possible consequences etc... So I guess you can give a pass to people who convert to extreme fundamentalism before that age. But why do they stay that way even years after or all their lives? Is it out of fear? Are they trapped because by the age of 25 they will have 5 children (that especially concernes women)? It must be fear, feeling trapped and detachment from their own feelings? What is the psychology behind all this? Anyone here who can answer these questions?

I think the fear and feeling trapped is definitely an important factor in what gets them to stay, but I also think that some people just have a real problem admitting when they're wrong or they might have made a mistake. And I think that fundamentalism can be attractive to these types of people because it gives them a set of hard and fast rules to live by, so as long as they follow the rules, they never will be "wrong". Plus they get the added bonus of being all superior and above those that aren't choosing to live the way they do.