Bergey Family - 8 kids and living in an RV

[Pseudoname]

Hi, I did a search of FJ, and nothing came up on this family.  Fundies that have adopted 3 kids from China and have now decided to start an orphanage in South Africa.  So they have sold up everything and are travelling/living in an RV whilst on "deputation". (Ie grifting)  

She also does parenting advice videos. 

There is quite a bit of snark potential!   

http://bergeybunch.blogspot.com.au/

http://perspectivesinparenting.com  

Enjoy 

 

edit to correct family name in thread title. dyac

[DaffyDill]

Wow...how can you go past such wonderful posts as "How I was almost aborted" 

[church_of_dog]

Haven't even read the links yet -- but I have to be the first to express my hope that they will name a child "Spurgeon" just so we can say (say it with me now)...

 

...Spurgeon Bergey!

[sawasdee]

Astonishingly for someone who loads a family of 10 into an RV, she actually seems to talk a lot of sense about adoption, and the expectations some adoptive parents have. Not as snark worthy as I  was anticipating.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

Astonishingly for someone who loads a famhttp://perspectivesinparenting.com/?p=194&ly of 10 into an RV, she actually seems to talk a lot of sense about adoption, and the expectations some adoptive parents have. Not as snark worthy as I  was anticipating.

I aagree. the adoption advices make a lot of sense.

This is the creepiest post I've found at the moment http://perspectivesinparenting.com/?p=194&  

I ddon't understand fundie's obsession with making little children yield.  At least they don't seem to advocate spanking.

 

[sawasdee]

I aagree. the adoption advices make a lot of sense.

This is the creepiest post I've found at the moment http://perspectivesinparenting.com/?p=194&  

I ddon't understand fundie's obsession with making little children yield.  At least they don't seem to advocate spanking.

 

See what you mean - I hadn't got that far. But I do like her emphasis on cuddles - not something found in TTUAC! Certainly a more loving approach to parenting, but like you I find this yield thing that fundies seem to believe children must do is a wee bit strange!

[mango_fandango]

Well, she certainly does seem better than many fundie families. That almost aborted post was all kinds of WTF. The little kid, Titus, looks sweet. Thank God he gets cuddles not spanks. HOW anyone can BEAT their baby is beyond me. Psychos.

[Iamhispurity]

Who do you all think about the story regarding the oldest adoptee?

[Grimalkin]

Haven't even read the links yet -- but I have to be the first to express my hope that they will name a child "Spurgeon" just so we can say (say it with me now)...

 

...Spurgeon Bergey!

I keep thinking of sturgeon, like the fish when I hear the poor child's name.

[Palimpsest]

Who do you all think about the story regarding the oldest adoptee?

At first glance it makes me very uneasy.  I haven't finished it yet and probably won't get to it properly until later. 

Yes, adopting an older child with RAD is horribly difficult.  However, when we get to the residential treatment - she make it sound like medical malpractice but I find her story hard to swallow.  They are clearly anti-vax, anti-meds, and anti-treatment 'cos God. 

I really don't like this woman or her overly EMPHATIC writing style.

 

[Ennui]

I aagree. the adoption advices make a lot of sense.

This is the creepiest post I've found at the moment http://perspectivesinparenting.com/?p=194&  

I ddon't understand fundie's obsession with making little children yield.  At least they don't seem to advocate spanking.

 

I don't get the obsession either. Discipline and obedience are a nice thing to have, especially when you have a lot of kids, but it shouldn't be the entire focus of the time you spend with your kids. They way she makes it sound, you should spend your whole day working on this stuff (blanket time, sitting on mommy's lap time, and the like). With cuddles. I forgot the cuddles.

[JillyO]

Could someone link to the post about adopting the oldest daughter? I find the blog pretty hard to navigate.

Also, I have to agree with Palimpsest. It's terrible to use different means of HIGHLIGHTING all in the same post.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I am starting to see the cracks in the facade. They have adopted a 14 yo Chinese girl named Ling and as soon as they arrived home they changed her name in Johanna! She was soon diagnosed with low IQ and RAD, she seems to have had a lot of self-harm behaviours (that her mother considers a way of self-soothing  yeah sure it's totally like nail biting /sarcasm) and a good number of hospitalizations due to mental health problems. And after 4 years they decided that she needed residential treatment. I've found very interesting Anonymous' comment under this post ohttp://bergeybunch.blogspot.it/2014/10/update-on-johanna.html?m=1 

Quoting Anonymous (cause Seline doesn't seem to love the delete comments button and she seems to accept the respectfully disagreeing ones,  but you never know):

Looking back at your blog from the past few years, I find it shocking to think how hard it must have been for Ling to transition from an orphanage in China to a highly structured Christian family with a completely different culture and dynamic. She had to get used to a new name; a new religion; a new ultraconservative dressing style; new food; she had to accept parental authority, which in your case seems to be exercised in a strict and highly structured manner; a daily routine in which everything was decided for her; etc. For a 14 year old child, this is a LOT to take in. Had I been in her place at that age, even transitioning from an average American family to this ultraconservative Christian environment that expects me to change my life and my values to theirs right away, I would have been highly traumatized too.Take the example of the dressing style. I note on Ling's referral photos that she was wearing make-up, and dressing up like an average teenage girl. This changed right away on gotcha day, and from there she had to stop being a teenager and start dressing in very conservative dresses, in accordance with your vision of women as having to be "modest" (same argument used for Muslim women wearing the hijab, by the way). My point here is that perhaps Ling is not the full problem. If you want to adopt a child who is about to age out of the system, then you need to be willing to make compromises in your approach towards this child, instead of imposing your whole value system on her from the start and hoping for a smooth transition. A 14 year old child cannot simply be "molded" into whomever you want; and trying to mold her is sure to have severe consequences on her mental state.And when adopting a 14 year old, you have to be fully aware of the very high likelihood of RAD, sub-average IQ and delayed mental development (which by now, you surely are... but were you really when you adopted her?)... spend more time getting pre-adoption training to deal with these very important issues, and less time convincing yourself that this is God's plan and that love is enough to heal everything (it may very well be God's plan, but you have to be properly equipped and prepared to fulfill it...)I'm sorry if I appear judgmental. I speak from my personal experience adopting an older child. Reading your blog is very interesting, but it seems that on this topic you do not ever question or criticize your own approach, or wonder how it may have contributed to worsen what were already important problems when you adopted Ling. That said, as I stated initially, I pray for you and for Ling.

[tankgirl]

Haven't even read the links yet -- but I have to be the first to express my hope that they will name a child "Spurgeon" just so we can say (say it with me now)...

 

...Spurgeon Bergey!

It sounds like if the Swedish Chef had a baby! I shall for ever now here, his name in Muppet voice, thank you!

[Palimpsest]

I am starting to see the cracks in the facade. They have adopted a 14 yo Chinese girl named Ling and as soon as they arrived home they changed her name in Johanna! She was soon diagnosed with low IQ and RAD, she seems to have had a lot of self-harm behaviours (that her mother considers a way of self-soothing  yeah sure it's totally like nail biting /sarcasm) and a good number of hospitalizations due to mental health problems. And after 4 years they decided that she needed residential treatment. I've found very interesting Anonymous' comment under this post ohttp://bergeybunch.blogspot.it/2014/10/update-on-johanna.html?m=1 

Anonymous is spot on with that comment.  This woman is another arrogant evangelical child collector without experience. 

Also, while Ling was in residential treatment she might well have been overmedicated but they 1) insisted that she was taken off all meds cold turkey and wondered why she had withdrawal symptoms, and 2) claimed that the doctor had never heard of RAD.  I call bullshit on the second and very much doubt the staff would have complied with the first.  That would have been very dangerous.

I think the woman lies to make herself sound better and increase paranoid thinking about conventional medical care in her leghumpers.  I hope Ling is OK today.

[morri]

i wonder if they help i local township? i am sure thats better than grifting.

she sounds more sane than that other one with the three apaently disabled chinese girls

[iweartanktops]

I'm still deep in this rabbit hole... I just finished all of the posts linked in this one

 http://bergeybunch.blogspot.com/p/older-child-adoption.html?m=1

Very interesting... I don't have much to say yet, but I will soon! 

[chaotic life]

I've only read about half the posts on poor Johanna and I am too sick to my stomach to keep going.

I adopted one at 14. I would bet good money she had PTSD and very unlikely she has RAD. Even if she does, you cannot expect a 14 year old to attach in the same manner a younger child attaches.

But my biggest question is exactly HOW do they believe they continue to be that child's family if they leave her in RTC and take off for SA? They have in fact abandoned her, in all the ways she feared they would. And they did the worst thing I've seen some families do, they saddled her with that low IQ diagnosis on their way out the door. They cannot possibly know she has low IQ. She has not settled into English well enough to get an accurate IQ test at ALL.

[Iamhispurity]

I've only read about half the posts on poor Johanna and I am too sick to my stomach to keep going.

 

I adopted one at 14. I would bet good money she had PTSD and very unlikely she has RAD. Even if she does, you cannot expect a 14 year old to attach in the same manner a younger child attaches.

 

But my biggest question is exactly HOW do they believe they continue to be that child's family if they leave her in RTC and take off for SA? They have in fact abandoned her, in all the ways she feared they would. And they did the worst thing I've seen some families do, they saddled her with that low IQ diagnosis on their way out the door. They cannot possibly know she has low IQ. She has not settled into English well enough to get an accurate IQ test at ALL.

I thought about PTSD too. Especially because she seems to have gone through so much and some of her symptoms just sounded like that.

 

My hearts just hurts for her. Abandoned so many times and it seems like she never got the help she needed. Or the loving, supporting family she just deserves.

[iweartanktops]

I'm pretty uncomfortable with these people. I'm reading through the "Training* Toddlers," posts. Here's the link:

http://bergeybunch.blogspot.com/p/toddler-training.html?m=1

Right now I'm on the post about changing your shy child. 

*children need love, nurturing and teaching, not training. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

They also use the word discipline a lot. But I haven't found an explanation of what it entails yet.

[AngelGirl8811]

They also use the word discipline a lot. But I haven't found an explanation of what it entails yet.

You probably don't want to know...

[chaotic life]

Discipline is generally code for corporal punishment in those circles.

[iweartanktops]

@laPapessaGiovanna

A quote from the blog:

You will go back to Mrs. So-and-So and say 'hi' right now or you will have a consequence." (For our family, we would make our child sit with their hands folded until they were "ready to obey"; about 2 or 3 minutes is usually all it takes.)

 

From this awful post:

http://www.bergeybunch.blogspot.com/2012/05/q-part-3-your-questions-answered.html?m=1

[imokit]

For all the talk of obedience, they don't seem as vicious as other fundies.  She has multiple posts on outlasting bad behaviours including tantrums, where the child gets put in a safe place to have a fit and doesn't get acknowledged until they're willing to say sorry and be nice, at which point they move on.

That's reasonable discipline in my book and a positive contrast from other families (or the pearls) who punish for tantrums/being cranky/whining.

She also acknowledges how she doesn't always do what she's told straight away, and has realised that expecting her kids to do so everytime with a smile is unreasable and thus they need second changes and the chance to discus things respectfully.

And the teenage can write blog posts at an appropriate level for her age.

 

Don't mistake me, they're crazy and scary, but the oldest bio child is better educated than many fundy kids, and her kids can be more kid like before the rod is brought out (I'm sure its used, there are a lot of situations its not being used for when other families do use it. She also compromised occasionally to account for taste.)