Maxwells had a photoshoot

[Iamhispurity]

I took a photo yesterday of a few family members. I thought I would share the behind the scenes action. 

I picked up my phone and opened the camera app. Then I arranged to leave my son and daughter-in-law where they were positioned on the couch. I studied them and asked them to keep their baby where she was already, and informed them (more by the action of holding the phone out in front of them than by words) that I would now be taking a photo. Incredibly, they all three faced my phone and smiled.

 It did take several seconds, but I think it was worth the time investment. 

But don´t you see how you picture is not as perfect and coordinated as theirs? They are just so much holier than us mere mortals!

 

[Fascinated]

But don´t you see how you picture is not as perfect and coordinated as theirs? They are just so much holier than us mere mortals!I 

I think that is self-evident given that I did not actually share the photo itself. You see, I had no one choosing colours from which they could choose and so, yes, they were a smidge un-coordinated. 

[Boogalou]

Everything the Maxwells claim they are good at they do a mediocre job at, at best, and more realistically they just do a piss poor job at.

The claim: We are great converstationalists!  Buy our book!
The reality:
Random commenter: That is a lovely sweater Anna Marie is wearing!   Did she make it herself?
Curt reply: No

The claim: We are great at relationships!  Listen to our conference talk about it.
The reality: Two failed relationships out of five

The claim: Sarah is an excellent writer.
The reality: bursting sausages, the passive voice being everywhere, and a description of someone as a faithful lettuce chopper.

The claim: Terri is a wonderful and involved Grandma who spends time with her grandkids
The reality: half an hour of reading books a week

The claim: Mary is a wonderful seamstress!
The reality: simple purses that take all day to make

The claim: We are great cooks!
The reality: bean burritos 

The claim: We have wonderful lives!
The reality: the most interesting things to ever happen to you are eating cheese paper and losing sunglasses

The claim: We are great at scheduling and making lists.
The reality: constantly forgetting to do things

The claim: We are great at IT and computers
The reality: 1 ton ramp on the most basic topics

The claim: we are great business people
The reality: the internet is littered with the sites of failed businesses

The claim: We are great Christians
The reality: an insular lifestyle that helps no one

The claim: Steve and Terri are great parents
The reality: Maxhell.

[Naga Viper]

One more.

 

The claim: Christopher is a fantastic photographer.

The reality: Dresses on hangers and serving tongs.

[Boogalou]

One more.

 

The claim: Christopher is a fantastic photographer.

The reality: Dresses on hangers and serving tongs.

Oh my gosh!  I even thought of the photography disaster of that dress in the basement window but forgot to include.  No animal crackers for me!

[FunFunFundie]

Except they don't seem to do things very efficiently. The family holiday meal shopping list blog entry is a perfect example; the kidults apparently have such a dearth of critical thinking skills that they don't think to buy lettuce for a BBQ unless Teri puts it on the list...which she apparently forgot to do for like two years despite people noticing a lack of lettuce. The Moody hiking story, if it's as mostly-autobiographical as we suspect, reveals that despite being so amazing at planning, the Maxwells don't plan or remember to bring basic first aid supplies or extra socks on mountain hikes. For all their talk about scheduling and efficiency and planning everything, they really kinda suck at it.

You have to practice critical thinking in order to get good at it.  The kids were never once, never ONCE, trusted to make decisions on their own.  They couldn't be more than a few feet away from the entire family in case their hearts would be pulled away.  So if you can't be trusted to decide when you are six if you want to play My Little Pony or dress up, and you can't be trusted when you are 8 to decide whether you like broccoli or ham sandwiches, and you can't be trusted to decide when you are ten if you think you like the Bears more than the Giants, and you can't be trusted to decide when you are twelve if you want to play soccer or basketball, and you can't decide when you are 15 if you think Johnny is cuter than Sammy, and you can't decide when you are 17 if you want to take algebra or psychology, and you can't decide when you are 18 if you are going to bricklayer school or the army or a 4-year-college, and you can't decide when you are 33 and "hoping to become a wife" to go DO something that would let you MEET people for crying out loud, then of course you're not going to be able to remember things like a first aid kit.  They are unable to work without lists and schedules because they have never learned how to make choices or decisions on their own, and Teri once could but had that browbeaten out of her.  So if it's not on the list, nobody's going to do it, or know how to do it.

[Othello]

"Notice the difference between natural light here and what the final photo looks like."

We did, as in, natural light is indescribably preferable to the ghastly, unnaturally lit effort. Thanks for pointing that out, Sarah! I love how you put it subtly so Joseph didn't feel so bad, though! Great family character there. +1!

[Elegant Mess]

One more.

 

The claim: Christopher is a fantastic photographer.

The reality: Dresses on hangers and serving tongs.

And one more from me:

The claim:  Trusting in the Lord's timing.

The reality:  Flag down a delivery truck to retrieve a part for Uriah.

[Odd1Out]

I find posts like these much more interesting than a conference post. At least it's a bit more insight to their day to day life. Not much but it's not unpacking the bus/van, speaking, packing back up etc. 

why oh why do they use lights outdoors for photos. Why not use the natural light?  I see that it's overcast but get out from under the trees and use the light you have. Sheesh. 

I agree, it's not a great photo. And you would think Gigi would be included. Maybe she doesn't want to deal with how overly complicated it all is. But I agree, more likely Steve leaves her out because she's not a Maxwell. Which makes me wonder, should one of the girls ever get to marry, would they and their husband be included in the family photo or excluded because it's Maxwells only. 

While I like Elissa's hair I hope she didn't straighten it to fit in with the other females in the family photo. 

[CyborgKin]

What is up with Sarah's face in the official photo?  She's got some weird pained grimace going on.

[LurkerOverThePond]

What is up with Sarah's face in the official photo?  She's got some weird pained grimace going on.

That's her normal joyful countenance. Don't you see how INCREDIBLY HAPPY she is with her life?!?! Reversal Anna, for her part, is in a serious need of an enema.

[CyborgKin]

That's her normal joyful countenance. Don't you see how INCREDIBLY HAPPY she is with her life?!?!

I'm SEVERELY GLaD Sarah and her normal joyful countenance are an entire hemisphere away from me.