Upcoming Babies Part 4

[JillyO]

Do you have birthdates for them? I just want to update my excel sheet.

Your wish is my command:

• Andrew Morton: Feb 2, 1995
• Kennedy (Decker) Morton: Nov 27, 1995

 

[lexiloumarie]

Speaking of Mortons and the Morton-adjacent, Norma (Roberts) Gilligan has been married over a year now and hasn't been knocked up yet.  How refreshing.  I wonder if it's purposeful, and if so, what the crowd they roll with (Bates, Mortons, Sanderses, Campanas) thinks of that.  

Her brother made a comment on Insta about her not being knocked up yet, and she sassed back asking him why he's not married yet. The Gilligans are most defintely not fundies (his brother has been married for years and no kids), so my guess is she's preventing even if her family wouldn't be happy.

[anjulibai]

Your wish is my command:

• Andrew Morton: Feb 2, 1995
• Kennedy (Decker) Morton: Nov 27, 1995

 

Thank you! 

[Iamhispurity]

Oh my lord, the Mortons could easily end up with driple digit grandkids!

[Kira]

Yeah, the Wissmans are interesting because not one of them have gone Quiverfull.

 

Have any of their friends (Beasley, Grady, Rehm, etc.) gone quiverfull? I think Abby and Caleb Beasley are quiverfull. 

[anjulibai]

Oh my lord, the Mortons could easily end up with driple digit grandkids!

They are at nearly 30 already and it hasn't even been a decade since the first of them got married! Right now, there are 23 grandchildren, but 3 are confirmed pregnant, 1 appears to be already and a fifth is overdue for a pregnancy, so probably is as well. They will reach triple digits within 20 years. 

Rather a scary thought.

[ophelia]

Oh my lord, the Mortons could easily end up with driple digit grandkids!

super scary thought, but probably true. I don't see any of the Morton kids leaving the cult. Darthy and Noah might not be quiverfull, but they'll still end up with a least 6 kids IMO.

[Kira]

super scary thought, but probably true. I don't see any of the Morton kids leaving the cult. Darthy and Noah might not be quiverfull, but they'll still end up with a least 6 kids IMO.

 What makes you think Darth and Noah aren't quiverfull? Many quiverfull parents don't have babies every year. I think Darth is not as fertile as her sisters.  I predict they'll end up with 8-12 kids.

[teachergirl]

I am sure they are but at the rate she is going, they have been married over 5 years and are "only" on their third. It seems that her fertility is much lower than her sil's and I would be willing to bet she is much happier having a family that is spaced out. It will be interesting to see how many they end up with.

On the topic of the Mortons, can you imagine how their homeschooling will look for this generation? Scary.

[SolomonFundy]

Well, Addie is pretty well behind average Morton courting and marrying age for a girl. Even if she finds a beau in Paraguay, she's likely lost 5 or more fertile years compared to Martha or one of her SIL's, such as Kressant. It's also likely that a couple of the younger sons will wait until they are in their mid-to-late 20's (like Cleve did) to start a family. 

I think it's entirely possible that the Mortons could have hit triple-digit grandkids, but I kind of doubt it will happen now thanks to this recent interest in moving. They'll be uprooting their younger children from the kinds of families that traditionally have supplied brides for the Morton sons, and Paraguay's rate of infant mortality is nearly 4 times as high as it is in the US. That could mean that at least a few potential lil' Grandmortons won't make it. It's also worth noting that the original S'Morton pairings are at the height of their respective fertility. They are extremely unlikely to keep their "honeymoon" pace up as they continue into their 30's. 

My personal opinion is that they will end up with a truly insane number of grandkids (easily 70+), but they'll never hit triple digits if they move the family. 

[ophelia]

 What makes you think Darth and Noah aren't quiverfull? Many quiverfull parents don't have babies every year. I think Darth is not as fertile as her sisters.  I predict they'll end up with 8-12 kids.

I don't really know what makes me think that they aren't quiverfull. Call it a feeling. Or a hope.

 

On the topic of the Mortons, can you imagine how their homeschooling will look for this generation? Scary.

If there will be any homeschooling at all except reciting bible quotes.

[AnywhereButHere]

...

On the topic of the Mortons, can you imagine how their homeschooling will look for this generation? Scary.

They're on track to birth an entire school district! Now what they'll be learning is, um, well... Yeah - scary.

[DomWackTroll]

Mutton and Melodie (Seppi) Bringe named their baby boy Alfred, after King Alfred the Great. Is that Serven baptizing the child?

 

[anjulibai]

That's an odd person for them to name a baby after. Have fundies appropriated him as some sort of "Christian hero"?

[hoipolloi]

Mutton and Melodie (Seppi) Bringe named their baby boy Alfred, after King Alfred the Great. Is that Serven baptizing the child?

 

Looks like it, compared to Cheryl Serven's FB cover photo (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=942322179127960&set=a.540328269327355.146300.100000505599183&type=3&theater): 

[picklepizzas]

They're on track to birth an entire school district! Now what they'll be learning is, um, well... Yeah - scary.

*raises hands in surrender* I've been trying to resist falling down the s'Morton rabbit hole for awhile now, for the sake of maintaining some semblance of a life, but I give up! These entertaining tidbits about the Morton breeders have officially broken my will. I'm off! 

[dramallama]

*raises hands in surrender* I've been trying to resist falling down the s'Morton rabbit hole for awhile now, for the sake of maintaining some semblance of a life, but I give up! These entertaining tidbits about the Morton breeders have officially broken my will. I'm off! 

For the full S'Morton experience, I recommend starting with their old blog - mortonclan.blogspot.com - particularly entries from the spring of 2006, featuring Katie Morton and Alan Smith's bizarro wedding and betrothal.

[hoipolloi]

Mutton and Melodie (Seppi) Bringe named their baby boy Alfred, after King Alfred the Great. Is that Serven baptizing the child?

 

In view of this update to the leadership of Marcus Serven's church in MO (http://covenantfamilychurch.net/about-us/leadership/), I'd say that's DEFINITELY Serven performing the baptism:

[SolomonFundy]

For the full S'Morton experience, I recommend starting with their old blog - mortonclan.blogspot.com - particularly entries from the spring of 2006, featuring Katie Morton and Alan Smith's bizarro wedding and betrothal.

(Intended to grab Picklepizzas quote too, but FJ clipped it!) 

You can not go wrong by starting at the beginning. It seems like they have a million posts if you look at the sidebar, but in reality, it's just because they used to post 5-20 pictures a day separately. There are also epic Yuku and FJ  threads on the original S'Morton weddings, including color commentary on some of the theatrics and bizarre quasi-"traditions" that were invented for the various occasions. The good thing about reading everything chronologically is that the crazy just kind of gets into your bones and mellows your expectations along the way. By the time you get to the posts about the girls not being allowed to drink coffee until they are 13, or the boys being instructed in the ways of wedding night performance by their dad, you don't even notice how far down the rabbit hole you've fallen.

[Charliemae]

For the full S'Morton experience, I recommend starting with their old blog - mortonclan.blogspot.com - particularly entries from the spring of 2006, featuring Katie Morton and Alan Smith's bizarro wedding and bet

To add to the great S'morton advice; IF you follow th Morton blogs straight through you wil be fine.  If you branch off into the Sanders ans the Smiths you might need some rescue ferrets.  

[picklepizzas]

For the full S'Morton experience, I recommend starting with their old blog - mortonclan.blogspot.com - particularly entries from the spring of 2006, featuring Katie Morton and Alan Smith's bizarro wedding and betrothal.

thanks this link is amazing!

[JMO]

I was reading about Rachel/Wesley's wedding.  Galloping up on a horse and blowing the shofar.  WOW.  My wedding is looking more and more pedestrian. And I didn't have a twee relative documenting it all in saccharine prose. 

[dramallama]

Once you're ready to branch out, check out Captain (lol wut) Bret Smith's YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/user/4209684/videos  for a giant helping of Smith crazy and cringeworthy - with several videos featuring Mortons expounding on their batshittery.

[teachergirl]

Carrie Redman from Our Full House blog had her 15th this summer, a baby boy named Micah.  She has adopted some as well and is the usual brand of fundie nut.

[Seren Ann]

Per her instagram, Lydia Jeub is 5 months pregnant. For some reason I am gobsmacked.