Happy Tool O'Ween!!!!

[twin2]

Well it's been 2 years since the day Doug Phillips fell from grace, or as he puts it, "The day the costume parties died".  Let us take this day to do what we here can do like no other site on the internet, mock Doug into oblivion so Google will always know that Doug Phillips is a Tool!  Post your favorite LOLDOUGS or make some new ones,  and reminisce about shenanigans we laid upon him (the poll bomb, hacking his wikipedia page). 

 

 

[Fascinated]

Sadly, I was not here for the DPIAT downfall. However, reading the related threads was one of the reasons I joined FJ. The Doug Phillips is a Tool Google movement is one of the funniest and clever things I have read.  Holy crap that must have been fun!

[IrishCarrie]

Before my time also, and I must admit I haven't read a lot of the threads about Dougie Boy. But MAJOR kudos to the evil geniuses behind the whole bomb t'interweb movement - with even knowing very much about him, I can't see the name Doug Phillips without mentally adding "is a tool"!!

You guys rock 

[lilith]

I am amazed he has managed to keep such low profile for this long and that he hasn't seriously attempted a comeback.

I'm also glad to see that you've managed to keep some meaning and purpose in your life without a constant supply of new toolery, @Twin2

[twin2]

 

 

I am amazed he has managed to keep such low profile for this long and that he hasn't seriously attempted a comeback.

I'm also glad to see that you've managed to keep some meaning and purpose in your life without a constant supply of new toolery, @Twin2

 

Tis' been hard, I won't lie, but the world is better off now that VF has folded.  So now I just live for Tool O'Ween!  I still hold out hope that one day, some fundie will post on their blog pics of the Great Greek Toga party.  I was salivating at the months of snark that would have brought.

I'm not sure Dougie will make a comeback, I think young JT will rise to the cause one day.

[Peas n carrots]

I miss the incredibly wide stance and anaconda hunting.

[twin2]

Think this is a good time to re-purpose this

A Poem in dishonor of Dougie (inspired by Shelley):

I met a manly-romper from San Antionio

Who said: Two short and widely spaced legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk, a tool lies, whose smarmy grin ,

And evil eye, and sneer of cold well-crafted depict,

Tell that its sculptor, a lowly intern in awe

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that took from them and the closet of costumes it filled:

And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Douglas W Phillips Esq, manliest of men :

Look on my Vision, ye sinners, and buy buy buy!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal sham, now gone, never to hazardous journey again

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

[Loveday]

Think this is a good time to re-purpose this

A Poem in dishonor of Dougie (inspired by Shelley):

I met a manly-romper from San Antionio

Who said: Two short and widely spaced legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk, a tool lies, whose smarmy grin ,

And evil eye, and sneer of cold well-crafted depict,

Tell that its sculptor, a lowly intern in awe

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that took from them and the closet of costumes it filled:

And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Douglas W Phillips Esq, manliest of men :

Look on my Vision, ye sinners, and buy buy buy!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal sham, now gone, never to hazardous journey again

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

I will never be able to read my all-time favorite poem in quite the same way again. 

[uber frau]

The best thing about DPIAT was  that he wrote his own  jokes.

I'm trying to find that ad promoting the  tool  sale but I can't find it anywhere :

 

[twin2]

I miss the incredibly wide stance and anaconda hunting.

Ask and ye shall receive on Tool O'Ween!

 

[sawasdee]

Twin2, I can never read Ozymandias again without thinking of DPIAT - I hate you! Previously, it reminded me of my very favourite ever fictional detectives - Harriet Walter and Lord Peter Wimsey. You've ruined it! Damn you! Damn you!

[Marshmallow World]

DPIAT is what made me discover FJ! I'll always be grateful for that, at least!

[clueliss]

Oh the irony of the fall of Dougie on the anniverary of Luther taking the 95 theses to the door.  

[Palimpsest]

It seems ages since I wrote a song parody but Twin2 inspired me.  Not a memory but hopes for the future:

THERE'S A LONG, LONG TRIAL

Now FJ is rather dreary,

Without snark on the Tool;

We’re a-growing weary only

Waiting for the fool.

Old remembrances are thronging

Thro' our memories

Till it seems the world is full of dreams

To see Dougie in court.

Chorus:

It’s a long, long trial for Dougie

In the courts of Texas,

Where witnesses will be singing

About his evil misdeeds.

There's a long, long time of waiting

Until our dreams all come true;

Till the day he’ll be losing

That long, long trial you'll see.

 The depositions are now arriving,

Truthful as can be;

We anticipate Doug’s certain failure,

To withstand Gibbs Three.

Surely now the time is coming

Tho’ it takes too long,

Don’t forget that deeds are punished

When they're really wrong.

 

My apologies to Stoddard King (yes, I had to look that up).

 

[Marian the Librarian]

Wow - has it really been two years? Time flies when you're in deep denial and doing all you can to drag out a lawsuit, doesn't it, Dougie?

Here's the picture that first made me think DPIAT/R was truly heading down the rabbit hole of crazy. There are so many other good ones out there - feel free to add your own.

Happy Tool O'Ween to one and all!!

 

[Dandruff]

Ask and ye shall receive on Tool O'Ween!

 

He looks like he's trying to hold in a loud one.

[Destiny]

Ah, the poll bombing. How could I ever forget those epic, epic lulz? Last I checked, my secondary facebook account was still banned from the VF facebook page, b/c I had the audacity to like a post that said the poll wasn't hacked.

Good, good times.

[AmazonGrace]

I'm not getting "is a tool" as one of the Google suggestions

 

 

[twin2]

The best thing about DPIAT was  that he wrote his own  jokes.

I'm trying to find that ad promoting the  tool  sale but I can't find it anywhere :

 

A present in honor of Tool O'Ween!!

[urban teacher]

I should so get together a Doug costume.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

A present in honor of Tool O'Ween!!

Is it bad that I somehow read it as Arse-nal (he is one, after all) instead of Arsenal even though I know darn well what the word is? 

The Ozymandias poem though! I don't think I've smashed my mouse button that hard to like something in ages.

 

[Marian the Librarian]

One more. I can't help myself.

[twin2]

One more. I can't help myself.

Me too Mr. Phillips, me too....

I should so get together a Doug costume.

A Doug costume of Doug in a costume!

[Fascinated]

This stuff is gold. Keep 'em coming.   

[Clementine]

Bless you twin2! FJ hasn't been the same since Doug disappeared. He truly was the fundie gift that kept on giving.

I'm to tired to capture anything, but... "We'll always have Paris":

 

Did anybody save the "Got a little captain in you.... WANT a little captain in you", by any chance?

Here's a bunch of LOLDougs:
https://www.google.se/search?q=doug+phillips+paris&biw=1536&bih=708&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAWoVChMIt5DAleXtyAIVo0lyCh2XeAC7#tbm=isch&q=loldoug