Maxwells on the road and a secret picture!

[Dru]

Just from memory, I think she is one of ten? Could be 8 or 9.

Seven I think. Let's see, Isiah, Noah, Simon, Olivia, Anna, Grace, and Rachel. Maybe one more sister that I'm forgetting?

Maybe John is at the wedding courting one of Melanie's single sisters?

[singsingsing]

I'm not as familiar with this family but find them really interesting. So excuse my dumb question but are the girls not married because their dad refuses all potential suitors or because potential suitors are scared of the dad? Can someone give me more info about it? Thanks!

Nobody actually knows. Could be both. They also don't get to meet other people their age very often.

[Dru]

I had to look up the wedding announcement to be sure, but yeah, I missed Jennifer, who was Melanie's maid of honor.

[DaffyDill]

I'm not as familiar with this family but find them really interesting. So excuse my dumb question but are the girls not married because their dad refuses all potential suitors or because potential suitors are scared of the dad? Can someone give me more info about it? Thanks!

Those are the same questions we all have. There really hasn't been an explanation forthcoming as to why the girls haven't yet married. But your two guesses sound pretty accurate to me...Maybe too, the girls have refused some suitors, we don't really know. At least I don't anyway.

[WonderingInWA]

Yes, Stevie boldly displayed photos and chatter about his sons' first courtships and engagements (even though 2 of them failed), but has never disclosed even an inkling on whether the girls have ever had potential suitors. Nobody knows whether they just haven't had any suitors or whether he's just more private about the girls than the boys.

[CyborgKin]

Not so much that he should, but that he can´t choose to do so if he wants to.

You didn´t do such a thing, probably because you CHOOSE not to yourself. And that´s the big difference.

My choices are based on my morals and upbringing, so I don't see much difference. If Jesse had really wanted to do so, surely he could have found a way. But the way he was raised there was little chance of him wanting to choose that, just like me. And if he had said to his family that he did want to do that, they would have been 'severely' displeased, just like mine. And that's fine by me.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Seven I think. Let's see, Isiah, Noah, Simon, Olivia, Anna, Grace, and Rachel. Maybe one more sister that I'm forgetting?

Maybe John is at the wedding courting one of Melanie's single sisters?

There's an Audry, too.

Edit: plus the Jennifer you found and Melanie that's ten. That's a lot of people to keep track of! they seem like a loving family. I hope it's a huge influence on the ABC girls.

[Dutch Cookie]

There are several pictures of Melanie and the ABC girls on Grace her Facebook page. It looks like they see each other more often than we know of.

[Dutch Cookie]

Oh and even her mom wear shorts!

[blessalessi]

Interesting comment and reply on the latest blog post from the conference:

Marjorie says:

September 21, 2015 at 6:13 pm

Sounds like a wonderful conference! I pray my family can attend one of your conferences some day!

Was John unable to come on this trip?

>>>>>>>

He was at an important (for him) farm show. He is joining us this week.

Important (for him), eh, Steve? :lol:

How is it going for you these days, Keeping John's Heart....?

[albanuadh_1]

Just saw that comment on their blog. Any exhibitions near by or farm equipment shows???? How does unmarried John get away with this? I find that interesting.

[salex]

Just saw that comment on their blog. Any exhibitions near by or farm equipment shows???? How does unmarried John get away with this? I find that interesting.

The Kansas State fair just ended last weekend and it has a lot of ag vendors. But it ciuld be anywhere really.

[blessalessi]

Just saw that comment on their blog. Any exhibitions near by or farm equipment shows???? How does unmarried John get away with this? I find that interesting.

There's probably really nothing Steve can do. His entire parenting philosophy revolves around the idea that if you keep a tight grip on your children's hearts while they are growing up, then they will choose to follow the same precepts in adulthood. If children go off the rails, he has always said that the parents are probably mostly at fault. So what does John's behaviour now mean for Steve? All he can do at this stage is try to limit the damage to his empire, as and when John goes his own merry way.

This is an interesting Dad's Corner from 2003, around the time Hearts was published and when John was about 11. It is tagged #rebellion

articles.titus2.com/dads-influence-childrens-spiritual-outcome-part-5/

Excerpts:

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep†(John 10:1-2). “Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep†(John 10:7).

In verse one, we see that all who don’t enter the sheepfold by the door are thieves and robbers. Then in verse seven we see that Jesus is the Door. The Middle-Eastern shepherd was so concerned about his sheep that after bringing his sheep into the fold for the night, he would sleep in the doorway. The shepherd, literally, became the door.

...

Was it because he didn’t trust the sheep? Of course not. Scripture says that they knew his voice and wouldn’t follow a stranger. He knew, however, that others presented danger to the sheep.

This example is critical for dads who love their children. We are the shepherds of those God has entrusted to our care. We are to be the door to the family. No one gets by us to our children. Is it because we don’t trust our children? Absolutely not. It isn’t a matter of not trusting our children. Rather, it is a matter of our responsibility to protect them from others.

...

Teri and I trust each other completely. However, we value our relationship so much we are not going to put it at risk. That is one reason why I don’t have business lunches with women. There are more safeguards that we have put in place, but those are sufficient examples. We believe what Jesus said about the depravity of the human heart and that if we can fall, certainly our children can. May we value our children so much that we take our responsibility to protect them seriously.

...

To prevent any misunderstanding, let me give you some examples. If your desire is that your children would remain pure until they reach the marriage altar, then is it wise that they date or have friends who are dating, and should they spend time with others (of the opposite gender) to whom they may be drawn? Youth groups, ministry projects, short-term mission trips, joining the military, anything that involves young men and young women spending time together will likely stir up emotions. May each of us carefully evaluate the activities are children are involved in as to whether they are consistent with our goals.

...

If you don’t want your children to rebel, then is it wise to let your children associate with rebels? Where might you find rebels? Youth groups, friends (even from great “Christian†families), sports teams, vocational technical schools, junior colleges, and colleges (Christian or secular) should all be viewed with great caution. Even if someone uses the word “Christian†to describe the organization, this does not mean that everyone there is a Christian living for the Lord. As the one called to protect our families, may we be able to look our wives in the eyes and say, “God is telling me that I must send my son/daughter there.†If God isn’t telling you clearly, do you really want to send them? Just because everyone else “is doing it†or your son or daughter really wants to, this is no reason to let them. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child . . .†(Proverbs 22:15). Often we hear the excuse that the child REALLY wanted to do something, so the parents let them. Dads, that is no reason. We are the ones who are accountable to the Lord for our decisions. Our children should only do what we are convinced is God’s best for them—nothing less!

Being the “door†is not a very popular position. There will be times when some of the sheep want out, and the door is stopping them. There are other times when a wolf wants in, and the “door†has to mount a defense. However, the Lord didn’t ask us to do it because it is fun. It is our responsibility.

If John leaves the fold by any other route than a Steve-approved marriage, I think the possibility of Jesse jerking off beneath the bedsheets is the least of Steve's worries. Jesse always wanted to be a missionary and John has already been there and done that. Who knows what Jesse will start to think he can do, once he has some space and time alone to start thinking for himself.

[nickelodeon]

...should they spend time with others (of the opposite gender) to whom they may be drawn?

So... how does Maxwell expect his kids to marry ever, if they never get "drawn" to someone?

The central conceit of this essay-- "every metaphor that Christ uses to describe himself should also apply to dads, because dads are LORDS and kids are their pitiful creations"-- is very telling...

[Koala]

It would serve Steve well to realize that his children are now adults. He is no longer a shepherd guarding the sheep, but rather a jailer, holding the keys to the prison.

[Dru]

There's an Audry, too.

Edit: plus the Jennifer you found and Melanie that's ten. That's a lot of people to keep track of! they seem like a loving family. I hope it's a huge influence on the ABC girls.

Yes, Audry! :doh: I'm going to blame my poor memory on being sick.

[blessalessi]

I found on wayback the post a where Teri talks about bringing up John, the "difficult child". She talks about using consistency, consequences and kind words.

http://web.archive.org/web/201308310159 ... child.html

But Steve's posts on dealing with his own anger seem to tell a different story.

http://web.archive.org/web/201308081514 ... oming.html

We have worked hard to teach our children proper table etiquette, but that had become a real source of frustration and anger for me. This may sound stupid to you, but it is true. I had one child in particular that would not chew with his lips together and others that would either eat with their elbows on the table or not sit up nicely. I would remind them and remind them, and eventually I would get angry. You can imagine that did not make for pleasant meals. God is so gracious though. When we desire to please Him and if we cry out for wisdom, He is faithful in answering our prayers.

I asked the Lord to help me train them without getting angry. The idea came that if a child is demonstrating poor manners I will catch their attention and then raise my pointer finger indicating the first mark. If I see another problem, I will raise two fingers indicating two marks. If I see a third occurrence, they are excused from the meal. I have found this very freeing. I have a way of communicating the problem without getting angry and there are consequences that the children will work hard to avoid. Seldom has anyone had to be excused from the table, and I now have children who are striving to demonstrate proper manners. The best part of it is I don't get angry any longer over training the children at the table.

He sounds frightening and sadistic. It must have been a nightmare eating in silence, being afraid for what might be the next thing to cause your father to silently gesture his anger. Even without the if/then chart on which little wooden spoons marked the consequences for certain behaviours.

[Dru]

There are several pictures of Melanie and the ABC girls on Grace her Facebook page. It looks like they see each other more often than we know of.

It could be coincidence, but I'm pretty sure this plays into Steve sourcing his last two daughters-in-law from out of state.

Oh and even her mom wear shorts!

Yes, the Mahers are quite liberal compared to the Maxwells. Heck, they even got a home school education good enough for them to get into college.

[Justme]

I don't have time now, but if you're interested, there are a lot of Nat and Mel's wedding pictures as well as their "courtship" story on the Titus2 site in the wayback machine. If I remember correctly, Mel's family was included quite a bit.

They were married in January, 11 or 12 years ago.

[sparkles]

I have a very strong feeling that Mel wouldn't have passed muster had Nathan expressed interest in courting her today.

[WonderingInWA]

I have a very strong feeling that Mel wouldn't have passed muster had Nathan expressed interest in courting her today.

I agree. And I also suspect she and her "heathen" ways are what has made him tighten the locks on the other children. She's way too hip! Nathan got lucky there to actually choose someone he liked rather than have the choice made for him.

[socalrules]

Nathan may actually enjoy spending so much time with Mel's family, even if he wouldn't admit it. If he didn't, he would try to isolate her like Steve has isolated his family. Nathan may still be Maxwell crazy but he has likely seen what happened to his mom and doesn't want the same for Mel.

[Palimpsest]

I'm not thinking about the next 20 years here, or while the folks are still alive, but what happens when Steve and Teri are gone? How on earth will the three sisters support themselves? I can't see the Moody books making enough for one person to live off of let alone three, and I think we are seeing the death throes of the Maxwell book empire. So will it be up to the brothers to help support Anna, Sarah, and Mary or do you think in the next 10 years or so the girls will find a way to earn a living.

This isolation nonsense is going to bite someone on the ass-- I'm just afraid Steve will be dead and buried before the shit hits the fan.

Oh, Steve has that covered. The unmarried daughters will apparently inherit the parental home. Here you go - read it and weep because Steve's delusions about how he has NOT prepared his daughters to live independently are front and forward, and incredibly depressing.

articles.titus2.com/older-daughters-living-at-home/

[mango_fandango]

Oh, Steve has that covered. The unmarried daughters will apparently inherit the parental home. Here you go - read it and weep because Steve's delusions about how he has NOT prepared his daughters to live independently are front and forward, and incredibly depressing.

articles.titus2.com/older-daughters-living-at-home/

The ignorance, it burns:

That doesn’t mean they live secluded lives. They have many interactions with people in our community, church, and across the country as we travel.

SERIOUSLY, STEVE? Your family is the DEFINITION of secluded.

They are our best friends, and we are delighted that they want to live in our home.

If your best friends are your spouse and your adult children, and nobody else, you are a loser. LOSER! :nenner: Also, I'd've thought Steve would be of the school that says "I am not my child's best friend, I am their parent".

[Jana814]

It would serve Steve well to realize that his children are now adults. He is no longer a shepherd guarding the sheep, but rather a jailer, holding the keys to the prison.

Agree!