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happy atheist

John Shrader in Zambia Pt 5: Witnessing, Weeping & Wondering

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happy atheist

John Shrader is married to Esther Keller, sister of Anna Keller Duggar (wife of child molester Josh Duggar).

For a couple of years they and their numerous children lived in a pop-up camper as they traveled the US, drumming up support for their ill-defined mission trip to Zambia.

Now they've been in Zambia for a year, and John has managed to save a grand total of about 3 souls, which means that he converted them from Christianity to the right kind of Christianity by tagging along to funerals and proselytizing at the mourners. He grifted a bunch of appliances (a matching fridge and freezer!), bought a super expensive SUV, and conveniently neglects to mention his grifted airplane which he can't fly because he doesn't have the key.

He has been dropped by his sending church, which is kind of an unheard of thing, and now his daddy's church is the new sending church. He's also lost almost all financial support. This is due to some sort of doctrinal dispute that I have no understanding of at all. His daddy is blaming satan (surprise!).

A few months ago his sister died, and he somehow managed to get his hands on donations made in her memory, instead of letting the money go to her husband and young daughter. Because John is a classy guy.

Now the other half of the original Team Zambia mission, a guy named David Rea, is ready to go to Zambia and open his own (much better planned and supported) print ministry. Because if there's anything that a developing country needs, it's warring print ministries. John seems to be feeling pressure from Rea's imminent arrival/challenge to his masculinity/godliness/grifting prowess, so he's begun laying the groundwork for an eventual move to Zimbabwe where I guess there will be less competition in the lucrative "handing out useless pieces of glossy paper" market.

The latest plea for money goes like this: John and his family went to the 89th Annual Lusaka Agricultural Show to hand out tracts. Not only did people drop them on the ground like they didn't even want them, but John got his pocket picked and his backpack stolen. And it wasn't just any old backpack. It was a Swiss Army backpack. So, you know, open your hears and your wallets, folks.

Join us, won't you, for John's further righteous adventures in darkest heathen Africa.

Previous discussion:

Part 1 here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=18815

Part 2 here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=22205

Part 3 here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=23034

Part 4 here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24929

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thoughtful

Alfred P. Dolittle and I love the new thread title:

[bBvideo 560,340:2y3a2x7z]

[/bBvideo]

Come to think of it, John Shrader resembles Alfred P. Dolittle in many ways.

I'll be back . . .

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KZK
John seems to be feeling pressure from Rea's imminent arrival/challenge to his masculinity/godliness/grifting prowess, so he's begun laying the groundwork for an eventual move to Zimbabwe where I guess there will be less competition in the lucrative "handing out useless pieces of glossy paper" market.

The government had a lock on that market for years, but fortunately for John they have discontinued the Zimbabwean Dollar.

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SoSoNosy

I was just finishing the last page of the latest thread, and saw the new thread notice, so I'll just follow along here.

I know it's a useless question, rhetorical, and I don't expect anybody to answer or comment. But WHY oh WHY does he think he has to have Swiss Army backpacks? And how many of those expensive things were being flashed at that show? It sounds like more than one.

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happy atheist

I took the thread title straight from John. It seemed pretty perfect.

It's also our newest post count title.

I feel a little dirty doubling up like that, but like I said, it's pretty perfect.

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formergothardite

I can't wait for the latest Rea newsletter to come out. I want to know if he mentions the elusive plane and how the printing ministry wars are going.

ETA: I'm so excited that John has made his FB page public again!

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Howl

Oh, John. Dear, dear John. White guy flashing expensive stuff. Way to be a mark, John boy!

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formergothardite

I looked at the pictures of them giving out tracts and it is clear that nobody wanted them. There is not a picture of John giving out tracts, it is all his kids. I bet he did that on purpose because he knew people would be less likely to reject something a child is trying to give them. And in the end, the tracts ended up on the ground with trash. What a waste of resources.

ETA: John is writing poetry! It is so bad. :lol:

O weary heart wilt thou not bend unto Thy Savior’s Grace? For He thy best doth always work, if thou wilt seek His Face?

Oh why dost thou against Him strive, the One Who died for thee? Oh do not turn from His great love and from His presence flee.

There is no greater joy than when in Truth our lives we live, so give thy will unto the Lord, and He His Peace will give.

I pray for thee as for myself, that we do glorify, the Precious Christ Who shed His Blood that we might never die.

Oh lonely heart thy Saviour calls for thee thy will to bend, for He is Master, King, and God, but also Dearest Friend.

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slickcat79

One good thing I will say about the pics is that Stephen seems to be much larger and healthier looking than he used to be. I was concerned about how small and thin he looked as an infant, but he seems to be a more average size for almost a year old.

I'm just surprised they haven't announced another pregnancy yet :|

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thoughtful

I had to leave some verses just as they were, they fit so well.

The Lord above gave man an arm of iron

So he could do his job and never shirk.

The Lord gave man an arm of iron, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

Someone else'll do the blinkin' work!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck you'll never work!

The Lord above sent me to do his bidding,

To turn those wicked Zambians from sin.

The Lord above sent me to do his bidding, but

When I hand them each a tract,

Some will dump it, that's a fact,

So I pout, with tears and trembling chin.

Some will dump a tract, that's a gloomy fact,

So I pout, with tears and trembling chin.

Oh, I must walk atop my dear tracts

Beneath the dirty Zambian muck

(please send a buck)!

The gentle sex was made for man to marry,

To have his kids and see his food is cooked.

Who'd look at me and see a man to marry? But,

With a bit of sleight of hand

I won over her old man,

And I had poor Esther good and hooked!

With some sleight of hand, I fooled her old man,

And I had poor Esther good and hooked!

Just act Jesus-like, and it pleases Mike

That's the way to win a Keller's hand!

I'm always throwin' goodness at you;

But with a careful look at it

You'll know it's shit.

The Lord above made man to help my mission,

I beg, I leap, I weep, I fairly foam!

The Lord above made man to help my mission, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

When I come around you won't be home!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck,

You won't be home.

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' bloomin' luck!

A man was made to help support his children,

Not see them just as arrows for his bow.

A man was made to help support his children, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

Folks'll pity them, and cash will flow!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck the cash will flow!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' bloomin' luck!

Oh, it's a crime for man to steal a backpack

I'd filled it up with tracts and things to chew.

Oh, it's a crime for man to steal a backpack, but

If I whine enough to you

If I whine enough to you,

You will send me one that's nice and new!

If I whine enough, If I whine enough

If I whine enough I know you will give in.

A Swiss army pack, that is what I lack,

Send it now, or you are full of sin!

[bBvideo 560,340:1izx1djh]

[/bBvideo]

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PrairieGirl
I looked at the pictures of them giving out tracts and it is clear that nobody wanted them. There is not a picture of John giving out tracts, it is all his kids. I bet he did that on purpose because he knew people would be less likely to reject something a child is trying to give them. And in the end, the tracts ended up on the ground with trash. What a waste of resources.

ETA: John is writing poetry! It is so bad. :lol:

O weary heart wilt thou not bend unto Thy Savior’s Grace? For He thy best doth always work, if thou wilt seek His Face?

Oh why dost thou against Him strive, the One Who died for thee? Oh do not turn from His great love and from His presence flee.

There is no greater joy than when in Truth our lives we live, so give thy will unto the Lord, and He His Peace will give.

I pray for thee as for myself, that we do glorify, the Precious Christ Who shed His Blood that we might never die.

Oh lonely heart thy Saviour calls for thee thy will to bend, for He is Master, King, and God, but also Dearest Friend.

John's poem sounds like every single Baptist hymn that I heard growing up. Usually sung to an exceptionally high-pitched tune, accompanied by an out-of-tune piano that is played by someone who has great-great-grandchildren.

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Gobsmacked

Cracking as usual thoughtful!!

You have just cheered up my evening!!

What film is the clip from?

:lol:

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nelliebelle1197

Can someone kindly link to the newly public page? I have never bookmarked it and am desperate!!!

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thoughtful
Cracking as usual thoughtful!!

You have just cheered up my evening!!

What film is the clip from?

:lol:

Thank you!

The clip is from My Fair Lady, the musical version of G. B. Shaw's Pygmalion.

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Anny Nym

That one pic with the boy rocking a fabulous combination of white pants+ white fur-brimmed jacket+ Paul Frank T-shirt giving the Shraders some serious side-eye:

I´d love to know what he was thinking when the photo was taken. :lol:

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salex

I was curious what people might have been thinking of the Shrader son handing out tracts while wearing a camo shirt....

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Handmaiden of Dog
O weary heart wilt thou not bend unto Thy Savior’s Grace? For He thy best doth always work, if thou wilt seek His Face?

Oh why dost thou against Him strive, the One Who died for thee? Oh do not turn from His great love and from His presence flee.

There is no greater joy than when in Truth our lives we live, so give thy will unto the Lord, and He His Peace will give.

I pray for thee as for myself, that we do glorify, the Precious Christ Who shed His Blood that we might never die.

Oh lonely heart thy Saviour calls for thee thy will to bend, for He is Master, King, and God, but also Dearest Friend.

Oh good Lord. If my eyeballs roll any harder I will sprain a muscle or something. I've sung a lot of Methodist hymns in my life and nothing was ever that terrible. It's like a mad lib of overwrought Victorian phrases. Not an original thought or interesting metaphor or inspiring idea in that entire word salad.

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Gimme a Free RV

Oh good Lord. If my eyeballs roll any harder I will sprain a muscle or something. I've sung a lot of Methodist hymns in my life and nothing was ever that terrible. It's like a mad lib of overwrought Victorian phrases. Not an original thought or interesting metaphor or inspiring idea in that entire word salad.

Knowest thou not, fairest Handmaiden, the language of King James maketh holier, the words of Sir Shrader, shining white, albeit naive, servant of the Lord on yon heathen continent; yea, even he who requireth blessed and bountiful monetary aid for the furtherance of the correct instruction of word of the Lord?

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HerNameIsBuffy
I had to leave some verses just as they were, they fit so well.

The Lord above gave man an arm of iron

So he could do his job and never shirk.

The Lord gave man an arm of iron, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

Someone else'll do the blinkin' work!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck you'll never work!

The Lord above sent me to do his bidding,

To turn those wicked Zambians from sin.

The Lord above sent me to do his bidding, but

When I hand them each a tract,

Some will dump it, that's a fact,

So I pout, with tears and trembling chin.

Some will dump a tract, that's a gloomy fact,

So I pout, with tears and trembling chin.

Oh, I must walk atop my dear tracts

Beneath the dirty Zambian muck

(please send a buck)!

The gentle sex was made for man to marry,

To have his kids and see his food is cooked.

Who'd look at me and see a man to marry? But,

With a bit of sleight of hand

I won over her old man,

And I had poor Esther good and hooked!

With some sleight of hand, I fooled her old man,

And I had poor Esther good and hooked!

Just act Jesus-like, and it pleases Mike

That's the way to win a Keller's hand!

I'm always throwin' goodness at you;

But with a careful look at it

You'll know it's shit.

The Lord above made man to help my mission,

I beg, I leap, I weep, I fairly foam!

The Lord above made man to help my mission, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

When I come around you won't be home!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck,

You won't be home.

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' bloomin' luck!

A man was made to help support his children,

Not see them just as arrows for his bow.

A man was made to help support his children, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

Folks'll pity them, and cash will flow!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck the cash will flow!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' bloomin' luck!

Oh, it's a crime for man to steal a backpack

I'd filled it up with tracts and things to chew.

Oh, it's a crime for man to steal a backpack, but

If I whine enough to you

If I whine enough to you,

You will send me one that's nice and new!

If I whine enough, If I whine enough

If I whine enough I know you will give in.

A Swiss army pack, that is what I lack,

Send it now, or you are full of sin!

[bBvideo 560,340:36j7bzmk]

[/bBvideo]

I am embarrassed to admit that I got all the way to 'bit o' luck' before I realized you weren't quoting the bible. Man, I'd make a lousy missionary.

However if you decide to write your own bible I'd totally read it because this was awesome! And for some reason I read it in my head in the voice of the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms commercials. Not sure, but I don't think he's from the bible?

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thoughtful

Knowest thou not, fairest Handmaiden, the language of King James maketh holier, the words of Sir Shrader, shining white, albeit naive, servant of the Lord on yon heathen continent; yea, even he who requireth blessed and bountiful monetary aid for the furtherance of the correct instruction of word of the Lord?

And yet, I still want to say "Burma Shave" after each line.

I am embarrassed to admit that I got all the way to 'bit o' luck' before I realized you weren't quoting the bible. Man, I'd make a lousy missionary.

:lol:

My Fair Lady was the first Broadway show I ever saw, when I was very young. Shortly thereafter, I got a case of poison ivy so bad I was bedridden, and listened to the album over and over.

So it came pretty close to being my childhood holy text! :lol:

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anjulibai

Someone commented on a picture of one of the girls "what a joyful little blonde". :roll:

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Eighth-of-eleven

I am embarrassed to admit that I got all the way to 'bit o' luck' before I realized you weren't quoting the bible. Man, I'd make a lousy missionary.

However if you decide to write your own bible I'd totally read it because this was awesome! And for some reason I read it in my head in the voice of the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms commercials. Not sure, but I don't think he's from the bible?

Why and for shure he is young lassie, the book of Paul to the leprechauns. "And ye shall go forth and go braugh, tippin' yer hats te them that be needin' the holy tankards of the sacred brew." 1st leprechauns, 3:24.

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VixenToast
I had to leave some verses just as they were, they fit so well.

The Lord above gave man an arm of iron

So he could do his job and never shirk.

The Lord gave man an arm of iron, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

Someone else'll do the blinkin' work!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck you'll never work!

The Lord above sent me to do his bidding,

To turn those wicked Zambians from sin.

The Lord above sent me to do his bidding, but

When I hand them each a tract,

Some will dump it, that's a fact,

So I pout, with tears and trembling chin.

Some will dump a tract, that's a gloomy fact,

So I pout, with tears and trembling chin.

Oh, I must walk atop my dear tracts

Beneath the dirty Zambian muck

(please send a buck)!

The gentle sex was made for man to marry,

To have his kids and see his food is cooked.

Who'd look at me and see a man to marry? But,

With a bit of sleight of hand

I won over her old man,

And I had poor Esther good and hooked!

With some sleight of hand, I fooled her old man,

And I had poor Esther good and hooked!

Just act Jesus-like, and it pleases Mike

That's the way to win a Keller's hand!

I'm always throwin' goodness at you;

But with a careful look at it

You'll know it's shit.

The Lord above made man to help my mission,

I beg, I leap, I weep, I fairly foam!

The Lord above made man to help my mission, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

When I come around you won't be home!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck,

You won't be home.

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' bloomin' luck!

A man was made to help support his children,

Not see them just as arrows for his bow.

A man was made to help support his children, but

With a little bit o' luck,

With a little bit o' luck,

Folks'll pity them, and cash will flow!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' luck the cash will flow!

With a little bit... with a little bit...

With a little bit o' bloomin' luck!

Oh, it's a crime for man to steal a backpack

I'd filled it up with tracts and things to chew.

Oh, it's a crime for man to steal a backpack, but

If I whine enough to you

If I whine enough to you,

You will send me one that's nice and new!

If I whine enough, If I whine enough

If I whine enough I know you will give in.

A Swiss army pack, that is what I lack,

Send it now, or you are full of sin!

[bBvideo 560,340:ylqqzksj]

[/bBvideo]

I love you so much right now.

Marry me.

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thoughtful

I love you so much right now.

Marry me.

Thanks!

There's a line in front of you. All women -- and dammit, I'm straight! :(

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