Nathan and Ashley Salyer - Courtship

[Diana]

4 hours ago, Johannah said:

Not sure if this has been mentioned before, but I just found a blog Ashley started when she was 15.

What are the rules for posting links? Wasn't sure if I could post it here.

I thought maybe her family seemed less fundie than the Bateses, but in an entry from 2011 she writes:

"Although I must confess that the kitchen is not my comfort zone I realize that it is my God given role to be a keeper of the home and a help meet to my husband one day. I realize that if I don't practice homemaking skills now it will be much harder to learn it when I am already married. Please pray that God will give us all the grace to complete our roles and love being women! I desire to be more comfortable in the kitchen because it should be a place where a women delights in preparing meals for her family! I encourage you all to experiment in the kitchen and not be afraid to role up your sleeves and get a little dirty because by doing so we are delighting in our role!"

This makes me so sad...

Wow thats sad, but at least she went to a culinary school to learn how to cook, and got that experience... i guess if you think your place in life is to be a help meet at least be good at it? i think it is so hypocritical when the "stay at home daughters" claim they cant cook.

[Mela99]

I wonder how much she'll be able to use that culinary degree though. Don't most fundies stick to meat and potatoes and simple fare? Maybe the Bates will be different but I just see Duggars turning their nose up at everything

[LawsonBatesEgo]

4 hours ago, Johannah said:

Not sure if this has been mentioned before, but I just found a blog Ashley started when she was 15.

What are the rules for posting links? Wasn't sure if I could post it here.

I thought maybe her family seemed less fundie than the Bateses, but in an entry from 2011 she writes:

"Although I must confess that the kitchen is not my comfort zone I realize that it is my God given role to be a keeper of the home and a help meet to my husband one day. I realize that if I don't practice homemaking skills now it will be much harder to learn it when I am already married. Please pray that God will give us all the grace to complete our roles and love being women! I desire to be more comfortable in the kitchen because it should be a place where a women delights in preparing meals for her family! I encourage you all to experiment in the kitchen and not be afraid to role up your sleeves and get a little dirty because by doing so we are delighting in our role!"

This makes me so sad...

Oh my god.

All snark aside......this actually just makes me feel really sad for her. 

I get it. I don't enjoy cooking. I just learned the basics so I don't have to buy take out every night.

But this is just a whole new level of sad. This is a teenage girl who clearly doesn't entirely like the gender role being pushed onto her but feels pressured to love being a regular Betty Crocker because she is a woman and therefore has to spend her life serving a man. 

UGH. 

[Kittikatz]

That blog was bloody depressing, and although it was probably meant innocuously, it was pretty off putting, to me, how she talked about serving her father, her future husband, her whatever. Like she has no other purpose or value.

It is infuriating how so many of these extremist fundies' views on education and gender roles limit their children in general, and daughters in particular. And so sad that their cuture almost requires SAHD to act happy about their circumstances, because ceiling cat forbid that there should be any hint of angst or rebellion. That said, I may be projecting - perhaps some are honestly happy, or they know so little and have been towing the line for so long they do think they are truly joyous. I just know how miserable I was when I had to pretend to be happy and content, and the awfulness of having to repress everything... it was a very unhealthy disconnect for me.

That said, she seems very young in the blog, and I hope she's somehow gained significant amounts of maturity in the years since she was writing.

[Johannah]

I hope so too. The blog stood out to me because she mentions several times feeling like she needs help to love and accept/except (SOTDRT) being a woman, and defines womanhood as not only cooking, but doing so happily, doing housework, serving her father, and being a helpmeet to her husband. It feels like she's repeating what she's been told by adults in her life when she has complained (justifiably!) about these expectations. She's clearly not thrilled about it, but trying to convince herself that she is. 

There's something so infuriating about the subjugation of a child/teenager - being told that your role in life is to be a servant to a person you've never even met yet solely because of your gender. And that you better be happy about it. 

It seems like other fundie girls are better suited to the role and some maybe would have chosen a somewhat similar path anyway (like Michael Bates), or at least they seem naively enamored with the fairy tale Prince Charming idea that is sold to them. In this blog Ashley just seems to not be on board with any of it, and it somehow makes it even more heartbreaking.

I, too, hope she's matured and at least been exposed to alternative options and ways of thinking as she's gotten older. She seems so spunky for a fundie. Hopefully a life as Nathan's wife will at least afford her more freedom and opportunities than other marriage matches would. 

[what the heck]

19 hours ago, Johannah said:

I hope so too. The blog stood out to me because she mentions several times feeling like she needs help to love and accept/except (SOTDRT) being a woman, and defines womanhood as not only cooking, but doing so happily, doing housework, serving her father, and being a helpmeet to her husband. It feels like she's repeating what she's been told by adults in her life when she has complained (justifiably!) about these expectations. She's clearly not thrilled about it, but trying to convince herself that she is. 

There's something so infuriating about the subjugation of a child/teenager - being told that your role in life is to be a servant to a person you've never even met yet solely because of your gender. And that you better be happy about it. 

It seems like other fundie girls are better suited to the role and some maybe would have chosen a somewhat similar path anyway (like Michael Bates), or at least they seem naively enamored with the fairy tale Prince Charming idea that is sold to them. In this blog Ashley just seems to not be on board with any of it, and it somehow makes it even more heartbreaking.

I, too, hope she's matured and at least been exposed to alternative options and ways of thinking as she's gotten older. She seems so spunky for a fundie. Hopefully a life as Nathan's wife will at least afford her more freedom and opportunities than other marriage matches would. 

I saw some previews from tomorrow's show and Nathan tells everyone that Ashley is his girl friend. So the cats out of the bag!

[Mela99]

Man I thought it would be all over the place by now. Bates fan page announced they were courting a few hours ago...

http://batesfamblog.blogspot.com/2016/03/a-courting-announcement.html

[Bgirl]

I think it's weird that the family hasn't officially announced the courtship.

[Mela99]

2 minutes ago, Bgirl said:

I think it's weird that the family hasn't officially announced the courtship.

It is kind of odd. Especially that UP didn't have a hand in it. 

[Bgirl]

That's why I'm wondering if the courtship has ended. I still think it's odd that they unfollowed her for a short period of time on Instagram.

[Mela99]

No, there's no way they would let all this out if it was another failed courtship. I'm betting they're already engaged.

[what the heck]

1 hour ago, Bgirl said:

I think it's weird that the family hasn't officially announced the courtship.

Me too! Can't figure that one out unless the UPtv network insisted to them that they would be the ones who broke the news to the media! In the last couple of years anytime the family had a big announcement a magazine ran the story. But with this news a YouTube video was used. 

1 hour ago, Mela99 said:

 

1 hour ago, Mela99 said:

No, there's no way they would let all this out if it was another failed courtship. I'm betting they're already engaged.

I've been wondering that too, especially since we find out about their courtship tomorrow instead of next week when Nathan "asks an important question"

[Kira]

the bates family tumblr says Nathan and Ashley have been courting since October

http://bates-family-photos.tumblr.com/post/141980477529/exclusive-bringing-up-bates-love-is-in-the

 

This tumblr once interviewed Kelly Bates. She also claimed they had 2 Bates kids would announce courtships: http://bates-family-photos.tumblr.com/post/131457716259/possible-courtships-to-be-confirmed

 

[justmy2cents]

28 minutes ago, Kira said:

the bates family tumblr says Nathan and Ashley have been courting since October

http://bates-family-photos.tumblr.com/post/141980477529/exclusive-bringing-up-bates-love-is-in-the

 

This tumblr once interviewed Kelly Bates. She also claimed they had 2 Bates kids would announce courtships: http://bates-family-photos.tumblr.com/post/131457716259/possible-courtships-to-be-confirmed

 

I believe she was just speculating and getting her information from articles and other blogs.  I don't think the woman who runs the blog now has any contact with the Bates family.

[Diana]

So are they courting since october or since christmas time? or its considered the same despite being 2 months apart?

I think UP was the first to announce with that video(the preview for next episode, you can clearly hear Nathan saying the word courtship), so thats why the fan blog was allowed to post finally, it doesnt matter anymore.

Anyway, now im guessing a engagement soon, maybe announced by the end of the season.

[what the heck]

29 minutes ago, Diana said:

So are they courting since october or since christmas time? or its considered the same despite being 2 months apart?

I think UP was the first to announce with that video(the preview for next episode, you can clearly hear Nathan saying the word courtship), so thats why the fan blog was allowed to post finally, it doesnt matter anymore.

Anyway, now im guessing a engagement soon, maybe announced by the end of the season.

Maybe we should start a Nathan and Ashley engagement thread?

[19 cats and counting]

So that blog linked above has a pic of the two of them that I haven't seen before.  It's not a pic that anyone would take with someone who is not a SO.

The blog says they've been courting since December.  I'l believe it when I see another source.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, what the heck said:

Maybe we should start a Nathan and Ashley engagement thread?

Eh. Probably a bit premature at this point. I mean, they literally just confirmed the relationship - is there enough information out there to warrant an entirely new thread?

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, Diana said:

So are they courting since october or since christmas time? or its considered the same despite being 2 months apart?

I think UP was the first to announce with that video(the preview for next episode, you can clearly hear Nathan saying the word courtship), so thats why the fan blog was allowed to post finally, it doesnt matter anymore.

Anyway, now im guessing a engagement soon, maybe announced by the end of the season.

The season ends next week, I think, with this episode:

 

SEASON 3 : Episode 14 | Headed to the Altar

With the wedding of Brandon and Michaella just days away, as the excitement builds for the big day, we take a look back at their relationship and courtship, from their first days together to the romantic proposal!

--------------------

It would be fitting to announce the engagement during this season finale episode.  Or--they could hint that it is coming in the next season.

[Casserole]

10 hours ago, Kira said:

the bates family tumblr says Nathan and Ashley have been courting since October

http://bates-family-photos.tumblr.com/post/141980477529/exclusive-bringing-up-bates-love-is-in-the

 

This tumblr once interviewed Kelly Bates. She also claimed they had 2 Bates kids would announce courtships: http://bates-family-photos.tumblr.com/post/131457716259/possible-courtships-to-be-confirmed

 

 

That blog has a picture of Nathan and Anastasia (Ashley's sister) under their post that Nathan and Ashley have been courting for several months so I don't think they're all that reliable... The girls don't look that much alike.  

[nausicaa]

Just read the blog. 

"Piers"? Oh dear heart...

[IzzyM]

1 hour ago, Diana said:

So are they courting since october or since christmas time? or its considered the same despite being 2 months apart?

I think UP was the first to announce with that video(the preview for next episode, you can clearly hear Nathan saying the word courtship), so thats why the fan blog was allowed to post finally, it doesnt matter anymore.

Anyway, now im guessing a engagement soon, maybe announced by the end of the season.

Per instagram, Nathan had been in NYC both in october and december. I believe that the tumblr said that in october it wasn't official yet. So maybe in october they became special friends, as the Bateses call it, and in december they started the official courtship?

[Mela99]

I wonder if maybe one of the others isn't courting Anastasia. Kind of like how we all knew about Jessa/Ben so we didn't pay much attention to others and then BOOM, Jill was engaged to Derrick... 

[what the heck]

20 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Eh. Probably a bit premature at this point. I mean, they literally just confirmed the relationship - is there enough information out there to warrant an entirely new thread?

No not exactly, I just think that it's odd that even though the video of Nathan saying that Ashley was his girlfriend was released his family or friends haven't said anything about it publicly. The preview on UPtv says next week that Nathan is going to ask an important question in New York! Part of me is wondering if he is going to propose! Why would they tell us they were together berfore we watch him asking her to be in a courtship?

[crazysnark]

Well Zach and Whitney and Alyssa and John had a 2 month courtship. I wouldn't be surprised if OCtober was the courtship visit and December was the engagement visit. Christmas is the holiday where everyone gets engaged it seems.