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The Infamous Maxwell Pizza Incident


VodouDoll

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Steveus on Sports!!! He wrote three walls of text that I did not read, but I found one gem!

articles.titus2.com/sports-part-1/

articles.titus2.com/sports-part-2/

articles.titus2.com/sports-part-3/

No you don't Steve, but let's continue...

You heard it from Steve first! Volleyball, the most erotic of all non-contact sports, is to be avoided entirely until you or your child is prepared for marriage!

Steve must have watched Top Gun before going full fundie and got the tinglies from the homoerotic sand volleyball game.

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And aren't the Arndts Catholic too, or did I make that up? The Maxwells think Catholocism is a false religion and its followers are damned.

They (or maybe just Cathy) grew up catholic but they're both evangelical/charismatic now.

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Just dropping in to say that I ordered pizza for dinner.

I'm a widow, so I probably should have contacted my brother or father this morning to do that for me then stayed silent and just hoped that the pizza arrived. But, you know, sometimes FJ just rubs off on me and I lose all control and order my own pizza.

:clap: :lol: :D I also had a pizza. Steve drove me to it.

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So is Steve-O saying that the softball loving Arndts are going to hell?

Since they seem to be charismatic Catholics, I'd think to Steve that would be a given.

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Since I compared Steve's fretting over sin to Charlie Brown procrastinating his book report, I figured I should just make it a parody.

Picturing Steve in a situation where he is expected to do something that wasn't his idea (horrors!), because real life demands it (or, in the old days, his employers expected it):

If I do that thing now

When it’s not Bible-tested

It could lead to me sinning

Which is not good at all.

I’ll think it over tomorrow

If the Lord calls me Wednesday

I will have all of Tuesday

To fret over my sinning.

I’m so frightened of sinning,

‘Cause I’m focused on dying,

It consumes my whole being,

I work best under pressure,

And there'll be lots of pressure

If I wait till tomorrow

I should do that thing now.

But I if I do that thing now

When it’s not Bible-tested

It could lead to me sinning

Which is

Not good at all.

If you don't know the tune, it's here:

https://youtu.be/HZEmxby8g8A?t=159

(it is cued to Charlie's part, and so won't embed)

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Well, we got Charlie Brown for Steve, and I've already used "I can submit to anything better than you" for Lori, so ...

Teri's song

You killed off my brain cells like a patriarchal asshole,

like a cloud of depression, like the Valley of Death,

like a bout of anxiety, like the Slough of Despond.

You killed off my brain cells, come kill them again.

Come let me grovel, let me submit my life to you,

let me drown in reverencing, let me die under control,

let me be like your doormat, let me subject myself to you.

Let me submit to you, come abuse me again.

[bBvideo 560,340:3vjpzvv1]

[/bBvideo]

My apologies to the late John Denver and his fans.

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Loving the song lyrics!

I was thinking about this and it seems to directly contradict another way of "reverencing" your husband - ensuring he doesn't look bad in front of other people. If Steve's zipper was down, would Teri not want to whisper "barn door's open" in his ear rather than risk him wandering around all day with an open fly? Wouldn't a quick reminder about ordering the pizza mean no chance of him looking like a fool if he had to admit to guests that he hadn't done so? (Or is Teri expected to take up the slack and claim that the lapse was all on her part?)

I tell white lies for my boss whenever necessary ("sorry, computer issues, he'll be on the conference call in a moment" instead of "sorry, he failed to check his calendar again and he completely forgot"). I do the same for my husband. It helps them save face and they'd do the same for me.

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Since I compared Steve's fretting over sin to Charlie Brown procrastinating his book report, I figured I should just make it a parody.

Picturing Steve in a situation where he is expected to do something that wasn't his idea (horrors!), because real life demands it (or, in the old days, his employers expected it):

If I do that thing now

When it’s not Bible-tested

It could lead to me sinning

Which is not good at all.

I’ll think it over tomorrow

If the Lord calls me Wednesday

I will have all of Tuesday

To fret over my sinning.

I’m so frightened of sinning,

‘Cause I’m focused on dying,

It consumes my whole being,

I work best under pressure,

And there'll be lots of pressure

If I wait till tomorrow

I should do that thing now.

But I if I do that thing now

When it’s not Bible-tested

It could lead to me sinning

Which is

Not good at all.

If you don't know the tune, it's here:

https://youtu.be/HZEmxby8g8A?t=159

(it is cued to Charlie's part, and so won't embed)

Doggamit Thoughtful, it took me two days to stop randomly humming "A Book Report on Peter Rabbit" and now here you just got me to listen to (part of) it again!

Shakes fist paw halfheartedly.

Resumes humming. Now with Stevelyrics. :lol:

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Well, we got Charlie Brown for Steve, and I've already used "I can submit to anything better than you" for Lori, so ...

Teri's song

You killed off my brain cells like a patriarchal asshole,

like a cloud of depression, like the Valley of Death,

like a bout of anxiety, like the Slough of Despond.

You killed off my brain cells, come kill them again.

Come let me grovel, let me submit my life to you,

let me drown in reverencing, let me die under control,

let me be like your doormat, let me subject myself to you.

Let me submit to you, come abuse me again.

[bBvideo 560,340:3tdqyodp]

[/bBvideo]

My apologies to the late John Denver and his fans.

As a John Denver fan (who was fortunate enough to meet him) -- and as someone who doesn't generally have much interest in either poetry or music, but who totally grokked Henry John's music as both, I say this to you...

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :clap: :clap: :clap:

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Steve must have watched Top Gun before going full fundie and got the tinglies from the homoerotic sand volleyball game.

After chasin' sunsets

One of life's simple joys

is playing with the boys

And SteveO just cried...

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:clap: :lol: :D I also had a pizza. Steve drove me to it.

[ Submissive Fundie Wife] My headship not only ordered the pizza and garlic knots, he also picked it up on his way home without any prompting from me! [/submissive Fundie Wife]

Thankfully, I spent the day doing really bad things like wearing pants and doing financial planning, so I'm definitely still on Stevehovah's wanton woman list. :D :cracking-up:

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According to the pattern, probably in the next week or two. Thanks for the songs; they're very therapeutic. :cracking-up:

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Speaking of pizza isn't the Maxhell bimonthly fast coming up?

Yesssssssssssssssss I need an excuse to eat cake.

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There is nothing wrong with writing Uriah fan-fic. In fact I'd be curious to read about Uriah's adventures in sunny, though ungodly, California.

Kpmom, from your post count, you must know that truth is stranger than fiction. We have photos on FJ of Uriah having a foursome with some infamous (former) FJers. I can't remember what state it was in.

I can't write it any better than that.

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