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The Infamous Maxwell Pizza Incident


VodouDoll

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You guys, for years we have talked about the legendary story of Teri not reminding Steve to order pizza. Years. And I knew I had read it before, but for the life of me I could never find it again.

 

Well. Now that they have done us the generous favor of putting all the Corners online again, I have finally found it. The Maxwell holy grail. The pizza post. Mom's Corner, April, 2000. You will be interested to know that it is also sinful to ask your husband where he's going if he leaves the house, and to have a better idea than he does when he makes a suggestion.

 

 

Quote
A Wifely Victory

 

Recently I had a wonderful victory in the area of reverencing my husband. I am sure you will laugh at it because it seems such a small thing. To me it was monumental even though I have been growing greatly in reverencing and submitting to my husband, particularly through the last five years.

 

My parents were coming over with my ninety-one-year-old grandmother. They were treating our family to ordered-in pizza. We had set a time for them to come and for the pizza to arrive. So, exactly what was my victory in the midst of this small celebration? It was pretty simple. I didn’t remind Steve to call early for the pizza to arrive at the designated time! Doesn’t that sound silly? Why would this be a victory for me? It is because I think Steve won’t remember such things unless I remind him.

 

This victory did not come without a battle. I thought about reminding him. I even considered how I might do this without it seeming like I was. As it neared time for our guests to arrive, I so wanted to ask him if he had ordered the pizza. When this thought popped up into my mind, I had to take it to the Lord. 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.†I prayed that the Lord would help me hold my tongue and that reverencing Steve would be more important than having the pizza arrive on time.

 

I realized that even if Steve did forget to order the pizza, the worst that would happen is he would realize this when my folks arrived, order it, and we would wait a while for dinner. Guess what? He didn’t forget! Not only did he not forget, I didn’t have to remind him!

 

Do you realize what small victories like this do for my future in reverencing my husband? Each one grows my faith in my Lord and my husband. Next time I will not have such a battle with my thoughts over whether to remind or not. It will be easier to rest, having the meek and quiet spirit I so desire (1 Peter 3:4)!

 

What if Steve had forgotten to order the pizza? I would still have had the peace in my heart that reverencing my husband was more important than when the food arrived. What a petty issue to be concerned about–timing of food delivery! In this particular case, it would have been just fine for the pizza to be late. My parents, due to a small emergency before they left home, were not able to arrive at the agreed-upon time. It could have been the Lord’s plan not to have the timing for the pizza arrival be our timing.

 

I wonder if you have begun thinking about the reverencing of your husband. Ephesians 5:33 ends with, “and the wife see that she reverence her husband.†I have always thought of reverencing as respecting. However, no matter how I turned the definition of reverencing around, it came back to me as a much deeper relationship than just respect. Respect takes us a long way, but where do we go with reverencing?

 

I have become aware, through the Holy Spirit’s promptings in my life, of ways I don’t reverence or even respect my husband. Much of it comes from me wanting to control and conform Steve to what I think he should be. This would not be overt to an outside observer. Nor do I feel like I purpose to do this; it just seems to be ingrained in my nature! It is so important that I see and evaluate these controlling behaviors realistically. I am talking about things like this: reminding so that he doesn’t forget something important, having a better idea when he brings up a suggestion, giving him “direction†for what he should or should not do or say, always asking where he is going and what he is doing, requesting the details of his phone conversations. I can put on a sweet voice and a smile thinking that will make my controlling ways acceptable. The truth is it doesn’t. Part of reverencing Steve is being under his authority without trying to manipulate him to my wishes.

 

Please understand this doesn’t mean I never do any of these things. They just aren’t the overriding characteristics of our relationship. As Steve and I have discussed these issues, he has decided that he would like me to ask if he wants reminders about certain areas that need addressing. We freely discuss, as husband and wife, what is going on in our lives. This gives the proper platform for me to give “wifely†input. How much better in our private discussion of a problem concerning the children to offer a suggestion than to raise my eyebrows at him in front of the children or speak a critical word to him! Usually Steve tells me where he is going, what he is doing, and shares details of phone conversations I would be interested in. So what does it matter if, on occasion, he doesn’t do this? Do I need to jump on it and ask him? Can I rest in the Lord knowing that if I need to know the Lord will prompt Steve to tell me?

 

To be honest with you, this is a struggle for me. I don’t want to have to watch my words or tone of voice with my husband. I don’t care for needing to wait on him to ask for my opinion or counsel on a subject. I want to know all about his phone conversation with a mutual friend. These limitations frustrate me.

 

1 Peter 3:4 says in relation to wives, “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.†I am learning that the Lord is more concerned about the meek and quiet spirit He desires of me than that everything is the way I want it. When I consider it, do I truly want to be a controlling, nagging, “always have a better idea†wife?

 

The Lord has been giving me another thought in this area. How can I possibly know that what I believe is right in a given situation is actually the way to go? After all, Scripture does say, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body†(Ephesians 5:23). I am convinced that Christ, as the head of the church, is always right! While my husband is a fallible, sinful human, this word picture in Ephesians puts him in the same position in relation to me as that of Christ and the church. It is something for me to seriously consider when everything within me wants to have a situation go “my wayâ€! Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.†Perhaps God has a purpose for the times Steve fails that is greater than if he did exactly what I thought he should!

 

I see that a part of reverencing my husband is truly trusting in his decisions, not only when they match my own. Choosing to do this puts him in a position of being responsible to the Lord, not to me. Obviously, there will be times of failure on my husband’s part. For some husbands it may be a whole lifetime of failure. Will I compound this by my own discontent, nagging, and controlling? Will I choose to reverence my husband, trusting and obeying my Lord’s command?

 

What about you? I expect there are areas in your relationship with your husband where you can begin to pray about and learn to let go of controlling. Will you be more concerned with following the Lord, in obedience to His Word to you as a wife, than you are about having things go the way you think they should? May the Lord encourage our hearts as we seek Him in our quest to be the wives He has called us to be.

 

And there it is. The Maxwell marriage, ladies and gentlemen.

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I'm so happy I finally got to read this. The Maxwells never cease to amaze me with their insane wackiness.

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I'm so happy I finally got to read this. The Maxwells never cease to amaze me with their insane wackiness.

Only that this is from 15 years ago. The Maxwells have since one upped themselves maaaaany times. :cray-cray:

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How can I possibly know that what I believe is right in a given situation is actually the way to go? After all, Scripture does say, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body†(Ephesians 5:23). I am convinced that Christ, as the head of the church, is always right! While my husband is a fallible, sinful human, this word picture in Ephesians puts him in the same position in relation to me as that of Christ and the church.

So Steve is always right. And there we have it, the reason why Steve believes he is a law unto himself, always right, knows better than anyone else, and is a pompous, over opinionated jerk. Terri encourages him to be that way.

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So Steve is always right. And there we have it, the reason why Steve believes he is a law unto himself, always right, knows better than anyone else, and is a pompous, over opinionated jerk. Terri encourages him to be that way.

Now, I'm not a psychologist or anything, but what stuck out to me is that Terri with that attitude basically gets rid of any responsibility she would have. Like the equivalent to the teenage "whatever, I don't care".

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Maybe Lori Alexander missed the memo: not even passive-aggressiveness is permitted :lol:

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Maybe Lori Alexander missed the memo: not even passive-aggressiveness is permitted :lol:

:lol: I would love to hear Lori's opinion on this. Ken of course would love it!

One thing about the Maxwells I may be wrong and somebody may point it out, but apart from the reversal shenanigans they don't tend to share about their sex life or sex in general. I can't believe I'm going to write this but that almost makes them normal compared to Lori and Ken. Who take any and every opportunity to discuss their jiggy jiggy antics, I swear they discuss it more often than probably us heathen sinners or just about anybody in polite society ....Ken takes his HEADship extremely seriously :lol:

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I completely agree with that. I would never DREAM of talking about sex with my husband on the internet and those jokers do it daily as a matter of course, and congratulate themselves on their modesty besides.

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"Ephesians 5:33 ends with, “and the wife see that she reverence her husband.†I have always thought of reverencing as respecting. However, no matter how I turned the definition of reverencing around, it came back to me as a much deeper relationship than just respect. Respect takes us a long way, but where do we go with reverencing?"

My Evil Catholic Bible has this verse as 'As for you, let each one love his wife as himself, and let the wife respect her husband.

My protestant Holy Bible (KJV) says ' Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband'

In my, normal mixed-marriage (Catholic/Protestant) household, because I love my husband (and want pizza) I would remind him to order it. And because he loves me, he would say thanks, even if he rolled his eyes, and would order the pizza. And we would all eat and be happy, because the Lord would lay it on his heart to order the good pizza from Hell, not the shitty cheap pizza from Dominos.

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once again I'm really happy to not be a fundie and be in an egalitarian marriage. The the respectful choice is to say "hey did you order the pizza?" This does not requiree to ithout agonize about that decision for 20 minutes and worry I'm going to hell for being a lousy wife.

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once again I'm really happy to not be a fundie and be in an egalitarian marriage. The the respectful choice is to say "hey did you order the pizza?" This does not requiree to ithout agonize about that decision for 20 minutes and worry I'm going to hell for being a lousy wife.

Also, I can't say anything about straight relationships from my own experience as I'm an ebil lesbian.

But I know that my father woudn't be happy if my mother would notice a possible problem (like forgetting to order pizza when guests are coming) and wouldn't tell him. In fact, neglecting to ask your partner about such things and just risk that s/he will run into trouble is passive-aggressive behaviour at its finest.

By asking Steve, Teri could have saved him from potential embarrassment. But of course, who cares if things go down the drain, when playing the submissive little wife is much more important. :angry-banghead:

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Now, I'm not a psychologist or anything, but what stuck out to me is that Terri with that attitude basically gets rid of any responsibility she would have. Like the equivalent to the teenage "whatever, I don't care".

I also feel like Teri was selling her 'reverence' as way to get rid of extra responsibilities. The Cliff Notes version: 'And, as an added bonus, I get less responsibility. Wifely submission is actually easier because I don't have to think as much.'

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If there was such a concern with Steve forgetting to order pizza, why didn't she just order it herself?

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It could have been the Lord’s plan not to have the timing for the pizza arrival be our timing.

Just let that sit with you for a minute

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. It could have been the Lord’s plan not to have the timing for the pizza arrival be our timing.

If there is a God, might I wonder why he is so involved in your pizza timing situation when most of the world doesn't have enough to eat?

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Wow. That's all I can say. And that's only in response to the new verb.

I'm not even going to start analysing the craziness.

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I'm so happy I finally got to read this. The Maxwells never cease to amaze me with their insane wackiness.

So happy to finally read this also. I agree about their wackiness!!

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THIS right here is the kind of agony I put myself through when I was trying to be a perfect submissive evangelical wife. It was psychologically awful. And you know what? My husband doesn't care about this stupid garbage. He wants my help in friendly reminders! He thanks me for reminding him of things!

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So Steve is always right. And there we have it, the reason why Steve believes he is a law unto himself, always right, knows better than anyone else, and is a pompous, over opinionated jerk. Terri encourages him to be that way.

This is the part that seems the most insane to me. How the hell can she really believe such crappy bullshit? :pull-hair: :angry-banghead:

What if Steve goes cuckoo (maybe some dementia as he gets older) and starts to do absurd things?

All this is so unhealthy that I struggle to find the words, I don't even know where to start

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If there is a God, might I wonder why he is so involved in your pizza timing situation when most of the world doesn't have enough to eat?

I am sure that there is a starving person who would love to have such a worry.

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I think I'm more exhausted from just reading about all of those mental self-berating gymnastics than I would be after a day of hard work.

I have lived with and worked with people with whom I had to walk on eggshells -- y'know, folks with whom one had to think thrice before asking about the simplest things, lest they go into a sullen funk. But at least I didn't live in a world where my surroundings told me they were not only right to be un-remindable, but holy!

Heck, I can be cranky about being reminded. At my best, I tell myself to get over it. Sometimes, someone else does. :embarrassed:

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:wtf: The only thing going through my head as I skimmed the post (I don't want to devote too much brain power to reading that shit) was how far does this non-reminding reverencing go? If Steve needed a reminder to go to work ( :lol: ) would Teri still be reverencing him by not reminding him? What if it was important medication? This makes it seem that Teri would rather Steve die/become seriously sick from not taking vital medication than not "reverence" him.

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