Lourdes is Divorcing Nolan

[DomWackTroll]

Nolan is not taking it well.

 

facebook.com/nolan.manteufel/posts/843939992320172?pnref=story

 

facebook.com/nolan.manteufel/posts/844320002282171?pnref=story

 

Jen Fishburne is right in the middle of all this. Of course.

[Rachel333]

Well that wasn't very long. :?

I don't know any details and can't say if anyone is right or wrong here, but I do think I can say that making videos about it probably isn't a very good idea. :|

[Firiel]

WOAH.

EDIT: Halfway through the first video... I think he cheated on her. Just a guess.

EDIT EDIT: Ehh... I'm removing that speculation. I don't necessarily think that's the case as the video has continued.

[Miss M]

Well, somehow I did not see that coming!!

[Maggie Mae]

Who are these people? Can we get even just a little bit of background?

[Firiel]

Wow, a week ago he posted a Facebook note theorizing that suicide is a human right.

I hope he's okay. Divorce is hard. And young, quick divorce has some different dimensions that I think are not always understood by people. It's not an easy path to walk.

Nolan, if you're reading this-- I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's hard because I've been there, but you'll be okay.

[formergothardite]

I can't watch all the videos. A friend or family member needs to sit down with him and explain why posting these videos is such a horrible idea. He needs to work on accepting that she is divorcing him and that mailing her a card for their 13 anniversary was a bad, bad, bad idea. Those videos are painful to watch and are the last thing to do if he wants to have any sort of a relationship with her again.

[DomWackTroll]

Who are these people? Can we get even just a little bit of background?

Lourdes Torres-Manteufel is suing former Vision Forum founder Doug Phillips for repeated sexual assaults. If you do a search of this site, there's a ton of info.

[Coco]

Getting through the first difficult years with their backstory would be rough, through no fault of their own.

[Maggie Mae]

Lourdes Torres-Manteufel is suing former Vision Forum founder Doug Phillips for repeated sexual assaults. If you do a search of this site, there's a ton of info.

I didn't know it was that Lourdes. The post just said "Lourdes is Divorcing Nolan" ... There are a LOT of people we talk about and it's been a while since I've checked on Doug.

[Mecca]

If Nolan is concerned about not putting stress on Lourdes like he claims, then I think it would be best if he did not make these types of videos out for public viewing.

Nolan needs to respect boundaries and understand putting this on blast cannot be comfortable for Lourdes. She has been through enough over the last several years.

[Burris]

I feel bad for both Lourdes Torres and Nolan Manteufel: The former stepped out of an alarming situation with a predatory employer and into a relationship with what sounds as if he is an immature man who was not ready to marry - let alone to a woman who requires a mature and trustworthy man.

NM should write LT a letter apologizing for his actions and hoping the best for her future success. This marriage did not work. It's over. If NM truly cares about LT - and I think he does - then he'll let her go. He'll learn from his mistakes. And when he weds again, he will avoid the errors of his past.

LT might want to wait a few years for marriage. She needs a much more mature man - one who has made those mistakes, perhaps, but far in the past.

LT is always going to need someone strong and uniquely disciplined so she might trust him implicitly.

[ThisOlGirl]

1. I'm sorry to hear that they are splitting up. Things couldn't have been easy this last year.

2. Nolan really needs to keep this private.

3. Jen Fishburne is a crazy shit-stirrer, and she needs to mind her own GD business.

[PrairieGirl]

Nolan is not taking it well.

facebook.com/nolan.manteufel/posts/843939992320172?pnref=story

facebook.com/nolan.manteufel/posts/844320002282171?pnref=story

Jen Fishburne is right in the middle of all this. Of course.

Who is Jen Fishburne? I am getting her confused with the Be-All brown-noser, Jen Epstein.

I am sorry for Nolan and Lourdes. Divorce is not easy. I hope they can get through it privately.

[happy atheist]

"I didn't even take any horny goat weed today."

:?

[DomWackTroll]

Who is Jen Fishburne? I am getting her confused with the Be-All brown-noser, Jen Epstein.

I am sorry for Nolan and Lourdes. Divorce is not easy. I hope they can get through it privately.

They are one and the same, PG. She went back to her maiden name after her divorce(s).

[hoipolloi]

They are one and the same, PG. She went back to her maiden name after her divorce(s).

Have been listening to videos & am most of the way through #2 -- is Jen Fishburne mentioned or did her involvement come up somewhere else?

[DomWackTroll]

I just hope this has nothing to do with that private email about the Phillips family that GenerationCedarchip posted about.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=25998

*shudder*

[DomWackTroll]

Have been listening to videos & am most of the way through #2 -- is Jen Fishburne mentioned or did her involvement come up somewhere else?

I think it was right at the beginning of the first one that he talked about Jen counseling him. Imagine-- taking marriage advice from Jen Fishburne. I mean, if that doesn't tell you that the boy done lost his mind...

[Palimpsest]

This is unbelievably sad. The first year of any marriage contains so much compromise and adjustment that it is hard work, however much you love each other. I cannot begin imagine the additional stresses these two have had on them. They are both still trying to heal from the past.

I hope they both have good supports around them and can get through this. Sometimes it is important to get professional counseling and not just rely on friends. Jen Fishburne would be the last person I would recommend for relationship counseling.

Yes, Nolan should take these videos down. Putting them up was a mistake.

[halcionne]

I watched the first video.

Nolan seems to be as surprised, at least initially, as we all are.

He talked about how he realizes saying I love you is too much and that he should have been saying smaller things all along. I get the impression that he and Lourdes just weren't on the same page, and that's nobody's fault. It's clear to me that he cares for her a lot and wants to do better in whatever way she needs him to, but it coming from his brain, not his heart. It's not insincere or wrong or bad; it's actually really unfortunate, and it's still nobody's fault.

I don't mean to say he's lacking heart, either; he's obviously quite emotional and devoted. It's just a mismatch and Lourdes was the first person in the relationship to decide to end it. Eh I'm projecting because I almost married a guy who was utterly devoted to me, but we couldn't get on the same page and he didn't understand why saying or doing xyz wasn't enough.

I'm sad for both of them. Nolan should pull those videos. He made a comment about his looks, which has me wondering about his self image. Nolan, there's nothing wrong with your teeth and you're really quite handsome.

Okay I'm done reading too much into a seven minute video. :mrgreen: (take it down, Nolan)

[PrairieGirl]

They are one and the same, PG. She went back to her maiden name after her divorce(s).

Got it, thank you. That woman makes me cringe. Why the fuck does she think their marriage is any of her business?

ETA: Poor Nolan. :( I don't have FB but from what people are saying, his videos sound heart-wrenching.

[Palimpsest]

Jen Fishburne - Very brief mention early in video 1.

I can imagine BCA outcasts support each other, but she is not stable. IMO. Nor is she a professional counselor.

[Georgiana]

**Disclaimer: I'm not as caught up on Lourdes/Nolan as I am with other stories. Sorry if there are some misconceptions here**

The thing about dating is that you don't just learn how to have a relationship, but you also learn how to let people go.

I'm not surprised he is acting the way he is. This looks A LOT like some of the breakups I saw in High School...but that's what this is: Nolan's first major break up. Is he doing it wrong? For sure. But I don't think he really has any experience in how to handle this.

Honestly, I think any fundie divorces we see down the line have a high chance of containing this sort of behavior. We are dealing with a a lot of people who are emotionally stunted/immature, were not given a wide range of experiences in failure in general to teach them how to properly cope with it, and were under the belief that this would never happen to them. If it does happen to them, they are not set up at all to handle it gracefully.

I am very sorry this is happening. For both of them. I hope they both find peace and happiness.

[Flyinthesoup]

I just hope this has nothing to do with that private email about the Phillips family that GenerationCedarchip posted about.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=25998

*shudder*

This was my first thought, too. I sure hope there is no connection.