Joseph & Elissa Maxwell are Expecting!

[Justme]

I agree the writing is so bad. Teri, you are a college graduate, how could you so poorly educate your children.

She probably conceived around the beginning of January.

[albanuadh_1]

I would love to say Congrats! and mean it but with this family, it is next to impossible.

' The difference is one family.'

[Rosie]

And here people thought they hadn't figured it out yet :lol:

Joseph always has a pervy smile on his face when he's with Elissa. I have no problem thinking he figured out sweet fellowship right off the bat.

That "you probably wanted to know that" at the beginning of the paragraph just kills me. The hubris. Or awkward sarcasm. I can never tell with the Maxwells.

Exactly.

Exactly.

[WonderingInWA]

I'm surprised it took as long as it did. It took them 4 months (or so) -- why, she's practically infertile! They'd better hurry up and get this baby out so they can start working on the next one. They've got a lot of catching up to do to keep up with the other Maxwell boys.

[HereticHick]

Apparently their Bible times included lots of rereadings of the Song of Solomon.

Dramatic readings. WIth props & costumes. Or rather, lack of costumes.

[WonderingInWA]

And Lydia is almost a month old now. Shouldn't NR-Anna be pregnant again?

[kpmom]

Assuming Sarah would like to be married and a mom someday, this has really got to be eating her lunch.

Melanie and Nathan, at least are several years older.

It's bad enough that NR-Anna is about 5 years younger, but isn't Elissa about a full decade younger than Sarah? Not to mention, wife to one of the reversals that Sarah helped care for from birth.

[Jana814]

Does anyone know how old Elissa is?

[anjulibai]

Does anyone know how old Elissa is?

During the wedding surprise thread, someone determined she was about 22 (born sometime in 1992) when she got married. She'll be about 23 when she has the baby.

That will make her the youngest Maxwell mom since Teri and possibly the most likely to have the most kids.

[WonderingInWA]

During the wedding surprise thread, someone determined she was about 22 (born sometime in 1992) when she got married. She'll be about 23 when she has the baby.

That will make her the youngest Maxwell mom since Teri and possibly the most likely to have the most kids.

Really? She looks late 20s to me. But she's lucky if she's only 23 -- lots of birthin' years left!

[treemom]

I read it as code for "I want to talk about how time has passed, and the only acceptable way to do that is to talk about how busy we are, even though we're not actually busy, but this is the only way to say "the time has flown by" so I'm going to write it that way anyway.

I think their next course offering should be "Cliche' Management: How to Get Less Meaning Out of More Words Than Ever Before"

I laughed so hard I snorted OJ through my nose. I blame you

[Coco]

I would love to say Congrats! and mean it but with this family, it is next to impossible.

' The difference is one family.'

The post with the little girl irritates me. (the picture of her that says 'the difference is one country') White privileged middle class American filter going on. For all they know that little girl could have a loving family, a warm safe home life, and cuddly chickens for pets. They assume too much.

And the statement is a lie anyway. The difference isn't "one country" -- millions of American children suffer real hardship. The difference is public assistance and community help, true support for struggling families and innocent kids, that conservatives like the Maxwells love to judge. :angry-banghead:

but put the child in a foreign country instead of across town, and suddenly it's poetic.

[Hane]

"Elissa's upkeep around the home" makes it sound as if she's some kind of machine or facility that needs servicing. (And, no, I don't mean "servicing" in the agricultural sense.)

[sparkles]

Elissa may not have gotten pregnant right away, but she sure did master the look of simpering adoration in record time.

[ViolaSebastian]

The post with the little girl irritates me. (the picture of her that says 'the difference is one country') White privileged middle class American filter going on. For all they know that little girl could have a loving family, a warm safe home life, and cuddly chickens for pets. They assume too much.

And the statement is a lie anyway. The difference isn't "one country" -- millions of American children suffer real hardship. The difference is public assistance and community help, true support for struggling families and innocent kids, that conservatives like the Maxwells love to judge. :angry-banghead:

but put the child in a foreign country instead of across town, and suddenly it's poetic.

It's interesting, because I took a more religious angle from that comment. More of a "statistically, she probably won't become Christian and know where she's going to go when she dies." I get the feeling that the Maxwell's are comfortable with (other) family's being in poverty, so long as they're Christian.

[sparkles]

It's interesting, because I took a more religious angle from that comment. More of a "statistically, she probably won't become Christian and know where she's going to go when she dies." I get the feeling that the Maxwell's are comfortable with (other) family's being in poverty, so long as they're Christian.

I was just about to post the same thing. Who cares if you have a roof over your head or food to eat or clothes to wear as long as you've got Jesus?

[Coco]

I was just about to post the same thing. Who cares if you have a roof over your head or food to eat or clothes to wear as long as you've got Jesus?

That makes more sense. But even so it isn't the jungles of Africa with no connection to a faith community. :lol: i get so tired of fundies thinking they have the One True Way to righteousness and are compelled to force their flavor on different cultures, who may be perfectly right with God in their own ethnic way.

[nomoxian]

The timing of this announcement seems like damage control... "Hey FJ; Here's something to pay attention to and rant about instead of John and his trip"

I wonder how many posts are from real people. The time difference between replies is pretty much one hour (8:42 and 9:44) or a few minutes during a time most non-Maxwells are awake (5:44 and 5:49AM) I wouldn't be surprised if a Maxwell were writing replies to their own posts to make the blog seem like it's getting more traffic... Hey Steve; deception is a form of lying, and lying makes baby Jesus cry. :cry2:

[Maggie Mae]

I thought it was wrong to covet. "Thou shall not covet" and all that. Although I suppose prayers aren't exactly property. Still. Shouldn't they do their own praying, and I'll do my praying and if we pray for the same things cool, but no reason to covent, wish for, yearn for my prayers. Just say "Hey, we'd like you to pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy and baby." And then thank your prayer chain.

Come on Maxwells. Get it together. Stop being so weird. You do normal things like going hiking and traveling, then you bust out the twice daily bible time and the "idolatry" stuff. It's weird.

[Palimpsest]

I am being controlled by Satan. Please pray for me Steve Maxwell because I must comment on Joseph's announcement.

Seven months and six days ago, Elissa and I were happily married. Has it gone down hill from there, Joe. Since then, we have greatly enjoyed setting up our new home. Elissa didn't like my taste. Perhaps Liz dumped me because I didn't consult her on paint colors. Between my work and Elissa’s upkeep around the home, the time has flown by. Upkeep? You mean dusting the ceiling fans and scrubbing the cabinets to Maxwell standards. BTW, what is your work Joseph? Our favorite time of the day is when we relax on our living room couch and open God’s Word. What? Not baby making? You must be doing it wrong. There is nothing better than practicing how to make your loins sneeze. It is exciting to see how our love has grown over these past months as we draw closer to each other and to the Lord.

You probably wanted to know all of that information. Well FJ hangs on your every word, Joseph. I'm not sure the Maxwell leghumpers care as much. Well, the reason for this blog post is to answer the question that you wanted to ask: we are expecting a child in October and are very excited about it. We believe that children are a blessing from the Lord, and we couldn’t be more overjoyed to welcome this little one into our family, and as many more as the Lord chooses to give us. Fantastic! Your loins have sneezed once. May they sneeze again. May God (who I don't believe in) regulate how many Maxwells are born into the cult. It's pretty damn sure that you won't.

We covet your prayers as we travel this new (for us) and amazing journey. Elissa is now over the worst of her morning sickness, which is a blessing. Indeed it is a blessing.

ETA: I hope Elissa has experienced a few loin sneezes too.

[VooDooChild]

I find Joseph to be so creepy. I feel for this little one and future little ones. Poor thing doesn't stand a chance.

[clese]

I find Joseph to be so creepy. I feel for this little one and future little ones. Poor thing doesn't stand a chance.

ooh...me too..i find him the creepiest out of them all

[Toothfairy]

Gee I wonder how that happen. I have no idea. :nanner-sex:

[Jana814]

I find Joseph to be so creepy. I feel for this little one and future little ones. Poor thing doesn't stand a chance.

I find him creepy also.

[kpmom]

I guess it's because of his crazy eyes and perpetually shiny forehead, but i always found Nathan creepiest, at least in appearance.

Although Christopher comes a very close second with that broom stick stuck up his ass.