Judge blames teen for seducing teacher

[moodygirl86]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... d-HER.html

 

I'm starting to think it's a requirement for UK judges to be misogynistic and out of touch!

 

This affair lasted 18 months. I'm unsure from the wording if she's 16 now or 16 at the start but if she''s 16 now, she must have been underage when it all started. Even if she was of the age of consent at the time, it's still unprofessional for a schoolteacher to even consider an affair with a pupil! And if the teen had been flirtatious with him as the judge seems to suggest, it was his responsibility to nip any inappropriate behaviour in the bud, and find out why she was behaving inappropriately (troubles at home, etc). And if I was the guy's wife, I'd be disgusted at having the miscarriage bandied about all over the press as the thing that "made" him cheat. I wouldn't be still married to him, let alone standing by him in court. I'd be urging the judge to give him the maximum! But no, the judge's logic seems to be "Oh, poor weak little Kerner, victim of women, one of whom can't give him the kids he's entitled to, which drove him into the arms of a teenage temptress!"

[BrownieMomma]

That judge is a woman? I honestly can't tell by looking at the pictures but the name seems like a woman's name.

So ironic.. the religious education and ethics teacher.

[moodygirl86]

Yeah, the judge is a woman. But as we know from some of our snarkees, anyone can be a misogynist.

My RE teacher at school told us she was an atheist, which surprised us at first. Until she pointed out she wasn't there to tell us what to think, just to teach us about the world religions and from there it was up to us to make up our own minds. Ethics is another matter, of course. But he won't be the first person in authority with an attitude of do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do, and he sure as hell won't be the last!

[Grimalkin]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2909756/Married-teacher-took-16-year-old-girl-pupil-s-virginity-store-cupboard-spared-prison-judge-says-groomed-HER.html

I'm starting to think it's a requirement for UK judges to be misogynistic and out of touch!

This affair lasted 18 months. I'm unsure from the wording if she's 16 now or 16 at the start but if she''s 16 now, she must have been underage when it all started. Even if she was of the age of consent at the time, it's still unprofessional for a schoolteacher to even consider an affair with a pupil! And if the teen had been flirtatious with him as the judge seems to suggest, it was his responsibility to nip any inappropriate behaviour in the bud, and find out why she was behaving inappropriately (troubles at home, etc). And if I was the guy's wife, I'd be disgusted at having the miscarriage bandied about all over the press as the thing that "made" him cheat. I wouldn't be still married to him, let alone standing by him in court. I'd be urging the judge to give him the maximum! But no, the judge's logic seems to be "Oh, poor weak little Kerner, victim of women, one of whom can't give him the kids he's entitled to, which drove him into the arms of a teenage temptress!"

That is gross. Teachers, coaches and anyone else who work with youth need to set clear boundaries from the start. You can be friendly with them, and laugh and joke, but you are never thier friend.

[moodygirl86]

At the risk of sounding flippant, I can't imagine wanting to be friends with any of the teachers I had at school, let alone sleep with them! Especially not one old enough to be my father. Looking at Kerner's photos, he's not even good-looking as older guys go. So even if the judge's "seduction" remarks were in ANY way valid - which they obviously are not - who would have had to do the seducing? Not the young girl. He's just a stupid, pathetic old git well past his sell-by date.

[roddma]

They are too quick to blame the female as alwasy. As the OP said, even if she were flirty the adult should know better.

[whoviana]

That is gross. Teachers, coaches and anyone else who work with youth need to set clear boundaries from the start. You can be friendly with them, and laugh and joke, but you are never thier friend.

Um, pedophiles (and other sex offenders) often choose jobs where they can be close to kids, especially where kids are competitive and often join in under parental pressure, that makes them subjectable to abuse since they know they are not allowed to complain and they get away with their shit for decades, also, they like to pose as respectable people with a well-thought-out and meticulously assembled social background and good reputation. The more solid the surface, the harder to penetrate.

[morri]

pedophiles are attracted to pre puberty kids. probably looking for ephebophile here. and most pedophiles would prefer not working with kids, anyway, gross misconduct to say a "girl" seduced the teacher. An adult is always in the driving seat.

[Trynn]

I was good friends with one of my teachers, a pastor's wife. I don't think it's always a bad thing, but I do agree that in general it's possibly not a good idea.

I agree with whoever said that even if the child did tempt him, HE was the adult, and therefore the one responsible for slamming the breaks on the situation.

[bea]

Ugh. I have a (male) friend who had a "relationship" with his church youth counselor - he was 16 when it began, she was 27. He thought he was lucky, because 16 year old boys are all impulse and sex drive. When she got pregnant, things got even weirder - HE was considered at fault, by his family and most of their community. He was a father at 17, and she left town soon after with the baby.

It royally screwed him up, emotionally, and it took him decades of alcohol abuse and depression to realize he'd been molested. She'd groomed him, seduced him, and possibly chosen him as the father of her child because at 28 she'd decided she wanted to have a baby.

One of the worst parts is that people actually believe these unbalanced relationships - student/teacher, client/counselor, can be consensual when one party is so young. And when the person in power has control over their "lover." It's vile. And then these children are blamed for their own abuse, because it's sex, so they must have wanted it. Because teenagers like sex.

[discussingtheduggars]

i'm always hopeful (however unlikely) that there's some secret evidence that makes the verdict logical to the public. otherwise it's just depressing and aggravating.

[apandaaries]

Ugh. I have a (male) friend who had a "relationship" with his church youth counselor - he was 16 when it began, she was 27. He thought he was lucky, because 16 year old boys are all impulse and sex drive. When she got pregnant, things got even weirder - HE was considered at fault, by his family and most of their community. He was a father at 17, and she left town soon after with the baby.

It royally screwed him up, emotionally, and it took him decades of alcohol abuse and depression to realize he'd been molested. She'd groomed him, seduced him, and possibly chosen him as the father of her child because at 28 she'd decided she wanted to have a baby.

One of the worst parts is that people actually believe these unbalanced relationships - student/teacher, client/counselor, can be consensual when one party is so young. And when the person in power has control over their "lover." It's vile. And then these children are blamed for their own abuse, because it's sex, so they must have wanted it. Because teenagers like sex.

These power imbalances make an already bad situation so much worse; it astonishes me that some people cannot see this. Or worse, willfully choose to overlook the power disparity.

We had a situation recently where a teacher in his late 20s seduced his teenage student (she was 16 or 17 when it began). The local news coverage was already pretty bad but the comments online were hideous. So many people wanted to blame this teenager for "ruining his career" and other such b.s...or they wanted HER to "take responsibility" for seducing this legal adult in a position of power. Outrageous.

[Nic]

Mary Kay always said that tween Villi was the instigator. Two kids and 10 years together for some reason the public seems more accepting than if the genders were reversed.

[greycat]

There was two cases at my school while I was there that a female student was with a male teacher. One never admitted it was during her time at school, even though we all knew, but started after she graduated. The second one was VERY known and when it publicly came out the male teacher just quit, and her parents was outraged that he quit and was in full support of their sophomore daughter dating a 28 year old man....ew. Teachers are supposed to be there to lead you and be your protectors while in their care, not BE with you.

Both couples got married and had babies so whatever.

[ShepherdontheRock]

Oh my god. They're a CHILD. Even if they did instigate, it's the TEACHER'S responsibility as the adult and the authority figure to say no, this is illegal, you're underage, if necessary get the kid out of their way.

Even if the kid wasn't underage, I think teachers/professors who would willingly have relationships with their students are f****** creepy! Not only is it wrong and unfair, but you can't expect it to be a consensual/equal relationship when you're in a supervising/authority position over someone.

:ew: :ew: :ew:

[moodygirl86]

Even if the kid wasn't underage, I think teachers/professors who would willingly have relationships with their students are f****** creepy! Not only is it wrong and unfair, but you can't expect it to be a consensual/equal relationship when you're in a supervising/authority position over someone.

:ew: :ew: :ew:

It's the same reason lots of companies expect staff to make them aware if they are having a relationship with a colleague or boss. I have worked at three different companies where there were couples - one of them happily married and expecting their first kid. They can't stop you obviously, as in this case it is consenting adults, but apart from the power differential if one of them's an authority figure, there's also a risk of bias/favouritism issues. Not to mention if they have an acrimonious split and it affects their professional relationship.

[nellautumngirl]

At the risk of sounding flippant, I can't imagine wanting to be friends with any of the teachers I had at school, let alone sleep with them! Especially not one old enough to be my father. Looking at Kerner's photos, he's not even good-looking as older guys go. So even if the judge's "seduction" remarks were in ANY way valid - which they obviously are not - who would have had to do the seducing? Not the young girl. He's just a stupid, pathetic old git well past his sell-by date.

I had a huge crush on a teacher when I was in school, he was and is very kind, gentle, funny and intelligent. He must have been about 50 back then. But the thing is, I wouldn't have wanted him anymore if he had ever considered an affair with a student. I knew it was just a pleasant fantasy, safe because I could trust completely in the fact he would always be a responsible adult, and probably shared by a few other students :lol:

[ShepherdontheRock]

It's the same reason lots of companies expect staff to make them aware if they are having a relationship with a colleague or boss. I have worked at three different companies where there were couples - one of them happily married and expecting their first kid. They can't stop you obviously, as in this case it is consenting adults, but apart from the power differential if one of them's an authority figure, there's also a risk of bias/favouritism issues. Not to mention if they have an acrimonious split and it affects their professional relationship.

I know companies will prevent people in relationships from being in a supervisory position with each other.

In my field, due to the close personal relationships professors have with students, professors cross boundaries they shouldn't fairly often. Unfortunately, it's often not treated with the seriousness it should be. I heard one professor at a top music conservatory became too close to some of his female students once, and one of them actually filed a lawsuit. She ended up settling; the conservatory paid for her to audition/transfer to a different school provided that she didn't openly speak about it, but of course, it still got out and the guy admits to it, basically. Apparently the only reason he wasn't REALLY disciplined is because he's fairly famous within the music world. And of course, anyone who claims sexual harassment by a teacher is "lying" or "bitter about not getting ahead."

[Firiel]

I know companies will prevent people in relationships from being in a supervisory position with each other.

In my field, due to the close personal relationships professors have with students, professors cross boundaries they shouldn't fairly often. Unfortunately, it's often not treated with the seriousness it should be. I heard one professor at a top music conservatory became too close to some of his female students once, and one of them actually filed a lawsuit. She ended up settling; the conservatory paid for her to audition/transfer to a different school provided that she didn't openly speak about it, but of course, it still got out and the guy admits to it, basically. Apparently the only reason he wasn't REALLY disciplined is because he's fairly famous within the music world. And of course, anyone who claims sexual harassment by a teacher is "lying" or "bitter about not getting ahead."

Yeah, when I was in grad school, there was at least one fellow graduate assistant who slept with several of his students. :ew:

(He also slept with one of my students*, which led to one of the more awkward moments of my life.)

*which, considering the ages of the people involved wasn't inherently problematic

[Tenyari]

The top comments under the article are almost as disgusting as the judge...who even looks at a 15-16 year old child and thinks "ah yes, this is all her fault for seducing the grownup"??? I don't care that 16 is the legal age in the UK, he WAS IN THE POSITION OF POWER, HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN THAT AND IN MY EYES, HE USED HER!!

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

When I was in high school- a 30 year old coach wound up marrying a 16 year old student. He was the sponsor for the student bible study group and she was from a Pentecostal family. Her family was extremely poor and I was shocked at how many teachers and students had the attitude that she had seduced him because he had a good job, owned a house etc.

The weird thing was that her parents were all for it. He did wind up moving to teach in another school district. I just think the age difference does not set up a marriage on equal emotional footing and gave him all the power.

[devoe364]

While I disagree with the judge, I have to disagree with some of the comments here. I am in a comitted relationship with a man who is 10 years my junior. I also used to teach. If we lived in the same community at the time I was teaching, I could very well have been my bf's teacher. He would have been in the seventh grade when I started teaching at 20.

I don't think I'm creepy at all.

[libriatrix]

While I disagree with the judge, I have to disagree with some of the comments here. I am in a comitted relationship with a man who is 10 years my junior. I also used to teach. If we lived in the same community at the time I was teaching, I could very well have been my bf's teacher. He would have been in the seventh grade when I started teaching at 20.

I don't think I'm creepy at all.

But. Would you have

A. begun a relationship while he was under the age of consent?

B. begun a relationship while he was your student?

A teacher dating/marrying an ex-student can ping some people's creepdars but isn't intrinsically creepy if there's a healthy relationship between two consenting adults who are on equal terms with neither in any position of authority over the other. That is a whole different ballgame from current teacher/current student.

[beckerbuns]

To echo what someone else said, it seems like these guys people who are into students under the age of consent, seem to seek out jobs where they will be around a lot of underage people. In the area I live it seems like on a monthly basis a coach or teacher or police officer is arrested for inappropriate relations with someone under 18. I know that there are background checks, fingerprinting, etc. to get these jobs so I'm not sure what else can be done, but it scares me. Educating these kids to be cautious is one thing but sometimes they've got issues themselves that predisposes them to being taken advantage of by one of these creeps. We need to keep educating kids about what's appropriate and what's not, and hope that they listen.

[Terahlyanwe]

The article wasn't even written impartially. There was nothing about his abuse of power, age dynamics, why this is a bad thing...just defamation of the girl's character.

How about instead of listing her faults, look into her background and find out why she's apparently a pathological liar and followed the teacher around the school "like a bad smell"? Not only is the teacher a creep, but that poor girl quite possibly comes from a terrible home as well.