Nathan Maxwell teaches us to use our iPhones

[Jecca]

What a fucking crock of shit.

Here's the deal - I'll do it for $19. Do we have any lower offers?

[lilith]

What a fucking crock of shit.

Here's the deal - I'll do it for $19. Do we have any lower offers?

But will you administer the Good Person Test and tell me where I will go when indie? Cause that's what I look for in all my IT instructional videos.

[nomoxian]

Watch them get a bunch of hits (from us) and spin it around to say "We have been blessed by lots of interest for our iPhone tutorial!" :lol:

[Joan of Snarc]

How much is this privilege going to set you back?

I know instructional videos on YouTube are inevitably chock full of feminism and evolution and Satan worshiping cats, but they are free.

The Satan-worshipping cats are always my favorite part though.

[PrairieGirl]

Yes, but they're probably full of feminism and evolution. You know how secular phone tutorials can be.

Or worse, the instructor is wearing a T-shirt WITHOUT a modesty shirt underneath it. Defraud City!

[formergothardite]

No, that's Miss Raquel.

This made me laugh and scare the dogs. :lol:

[VodouDoll]

Also, the secular tutorials wouldn't compare every app to an aspect of Maxwell theology. "The home button at the bottom of your iphone is like family bible time: you will constantly go back to it to reset. The settings screen is like sheltering your children: you use it to decide what they can and can't do on their phone. Syncing your phone with itunes is like being saved; it upgrades all your apps so they run better, just like Jesus upgrades your life."

At least, I imagine so based on how Nathan describes his computer courses here: samaritanministries.org/blog/page/15/?c

For instance, Nathan says, “We start every webinar with prayer.â€

Most ITonRamp courses, at some point, are also paused for the plan of salvation to be presented, Nathan says.

“We’re trying to keep the Lord as a focus through the whole thing,†he says. “That can sound kind of clichéd, because that’s kind of the Christian lingo thing.â€

But it also makes sense.

When, in the Computer Essentials course, Nathan talks about drivers, he has to define what they are: A driver is a piece of software that helps your operating system communicate with the hardware. An analogy he uses is Jesus. Just as a driver is a go-between for software and hardware, so Jesus is a go-between for humanity and God the Father.

“He’s the Intermediary,†Nathan says.

[salex]

Also, the secular tutorials wouldn't compare every app to an aspect of Maxwell theology. "The home button at the bottom of your iphone is like family bible time: you will constantly go back to it to reset. The settings screen is like sheltering your children: you use it to decide what they can and can't do on their phone. Syncing your phone with itunes is like being saved; it upgrades all your apps so they run better, just like Jesus upgrades your life."

At least, I imagine so based on how Nathan describes his computer courses here: samaritanministries.org/blog/page/15/?c

:mouse-shock:

Ok, I had to go read that article and found this bit too....

Christopher relates that he has paused a session to “share my heart about why we need a Savior.â€

I am trying to put this in any sort of perspective that makes sense and all I can figure out is that they are trying to stretch the class out to make people think they are getting their money's worth, time wise and/or they are pitching their traveling Minstrel show. :violin:

Not to mention I'm pretty sure they have never had a software trainee who was not already a member of the choir. So they like John Schrader seem to want to convert Christians to Christianity....

I've been involved in software training since about 1998, off and on--back then Point Of Sale and Back Office accounting reports for a chain of drugstores, in store--more recently a variety of cloud based functions in offices, classroom settings and via webinar. I am trying to figure out when I should have added in the bit about Jesus as a Driver? Or about why we need a Savior... :geek:

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I don't for the life of me understand having a smartphone if you don't want to use any of the features. I know it's a waste of time to try to understand.

Anything you need to know about any smartphone is a google search away. For free.

The Maxwells are betting on those who have already removed/disabled the godless Google and YouTube and anything else that could be helpful, I guess.

[DGayle]

Also, the secular tutorials wouldn't compare every app to an aspect of Maxwell theology. "The home button at the bottom of your iphone is like family bible time: you will constantly go back to it to reset. The settings screen is like sheltering your children: you use it to decide what they can and can't do on their phone. Syncing your phone with itunes is like being saved; it upgrades all your apps so they run better, just like Jesus upgrades your life."

At least, I imagine so based on how Nathan describes his computer courses here: samaritanministries.org/blog/page/15/?c

If the only way he can come up with to explain things is a comparison to Jesus, his "students" who want to "work toward IT certification or gain computer skills without racking up college debt in the process" are going to fail in the real world. Can you imagine going to Apple's Genius Bar and having someone explain that the way something works is like Jesus?

“We make sure we cover everything in the class,†he says. “But we also make it clear that you could be the best in the world at QuickBooks, be great at your job, run a great business, be a great entrepreneur, but if you lose your soul, what is it worth? We’re equipping students vocationally, but if they gain the whole world vocationally and aren’t saved, everything’s lost.â€

So unless you constantly think about how everything is like Jesus, your'e doomed. Or is he saying technology will ruin your soul?

What this sermonizing really is is a way to pad the course time. You get a couple "classes" of an hour each, but how much of that is about the reason for the course, and how much is talking about how important Jesus is to him?

[salex]

Of course, they have no other reference point-- they can't make a joke based on any pop culture phrase--they can't make a reference to a famous line from a movie or song or advertisement.

It would seem that if they didn't quote the bible and use it for any and all references, they'd have to fall back on "my mom/dad/sister said xyz the other day."

[LadyPriss]

Anything you need to know about any smartphone is a google search away. For free.

But once the Maxwells teach the masses how to block everything not fundie approved, these people will only have access to these goofy courses, Life at the Pond and any other approved website that does not lead to searching/youtube. Brilliant really. Its not frugal, but its safer! Its most likely how they justify a lot of things they do.

[MamaJunebug]

Three words – – "iPhones for dummies."

To be perfectly honest about it, the "dummies" books annoy me, with way too much attempt at cleverness and amusement. I'd rather get right to the heart of the matter – – how to use this or that. The huge advantage to the books is that they're available any time, as opposed to a webinar.

In response to the cost-cutting challenge above, I will attempt to answer any questions you may have for free, just give me time to look it up in my significant other's dummies book. Such a deal.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

So can Jesus fix my printer? It's telling me I need to update the drivers, does that mean I need Jesus?

[divadivine]

So can Jesus fix my printer? It's telling me I need to update the drivers, does that mean I need Jesus?

Yup... Jesus take the wheel and install the printer drivers through my hand....

[bionicmlle]

The Titus2 post reads like a teaser for a cruise-ship freebie seminar for octogenarians.

[sparkles]

iPhone Issentials? ISSENTIALS? I'm hoping that's just Sarah making a play on iPhone but then take it all the way, you know? iPhone iSsentials so that it's clear you haven't made a big honkin typo.

[Queen Of Hearts]

iPhone Issentials? ISSENTIALS? I'm hoping that's just Sarah making a play on iPhone but then take it all the way, you know? iPhone iSsentials so that it's clear you haven't made a big honkin typo.

We will know if it was a typo of a "clever" play on words soon. When Stevie reads here next and reads this he will either change the spelling or the capitalization. HI STEVIE! :nenner:

[Destiny]

What a fucking crock of shit.

Here's the deal - I'll do it for $19. Do we have any lower offers?

...I'll do it for 18.99! Also, Nathan's certifications aren't anything special. I have most of them too, but then, I'm a godless, pagan, feminist with short hair. What do I know?

[Grannie2times]

What about Android users? I purposely bought the same phone as my son in law so he could teach me how to use it.

[lilith]

...I'll do it for 18.99! Also, Nathan's certifications aren't anything special. I have most of them too, but then, I'm a godless, pagan, feminist with short hair. What do I know?

Repent immediately and enrol in all the 1 Ton Ramp courses as soon as you have responsibly saved the cash in envelopes in your cupboards, of course.

Just remember that Nathan and Christopher won't "mentor" you - you'll have to run through the Good Person Test and get one on one tips for restricting Internet access from Sarah or Anna instead, so your godless womanliness doesn't leap down the phone lines and endanger the godly Maxhell marriages.

[Jecca]

Repent immediately and enrol in all the 1 Ton Ramp courses as soon as you have responsibly saved the cash in envelopes in your cupboards, of course.

Just remember that Nathan and Christopher won't "mentor" you - you'll have to run through the Good Person Test and get one on one tips for restricting Internet access from Sarah or Anna instead, so your godless womanliness doesn't leap down the phone lines and endanger the godly Maxhell marriages.

Long-haired godless feminist here. No certifications however I am good at LMGTFY.

Market forces have made me review my prices, I'm happy to go to $18.98 and throw in wine.

[HoneyBunny]

What a fucking crock of shit.

Here's the deal - I'll do it for $19. Do we have any lower offers?

I've done it for free many times. Helped friends and neighbors. You know, did the Christian thing.

[Dru]

Does Nathan have any other job besides 1 Ton Ramp? I fail to see how that business can support his large family.

Yes. He does IT consulting.

I've stopped being surprised a long time ago over what people are willing to pay for. Since they aren't doing mentoring why bother with the live webinar? Why not just record a couple of videos and then sell access to them?

[Marian the Librarian]

What about Android users? I purposely bought the same phone as my son in law so he could teach me how to use it.

Android users (I'm one of 'em!) are bad, and of the devil, and we deserve no help with them. Only iPhones are good and Godly. Thus speaketh the Maxwells. :pray: