Who are the buddy teams?

[jingerdoe]

Can someone remind me whose buddies are whose? (really, who are jana's children?)

[eh02]

I wonder if they really even have buddies much anymore? Since Josie's almost 5 now and she is probably the only "little one" who still really needs more constant supervision, it seems like it'd be unnecessary.

My guess is Jana, Jinger and Joyanna are generally in charge of all the youngest girls and that, like usual, the oldest boys are nobody's buddy and the younger boys run around and do whatever they want. I wonder if Josie still shares a bed with another girl? Or do any of the younger girls still share beds? I guess since two beds are freeing up maybe they don't share anymore...at least I hope so.

[BrownieMomma]

Recently saw an episode where ...mmm.. maybe it was Jackon.... was doing something in the kitchen with... maybe Jordyn? A very young one. I think he said he was her buddy, but like so much of that show, seemed completely fake and staged.

[HarleyQuinn]

This is from 2011 so it's probably out of date, but

Jana - Josie, Jackson, Jason

Jill - Joy, Jenni, James (Guessing Joy has these two now)

Jessa - Jordyn, Jer, Justin

Jinger - Johannah, Jed.

[Feberin]

They don't really change the buddy teams. I guess now with Jill gone Joy just became in charge of their team and for Jesssa's buddies perhaps Jer became in charge but I'm not sure if they'd do that to a boy. Here is what Michelle said in a chat about the buddy teams a long time ago.

Joshua, our 16 yo son, his buddy was Joseph... But now Joseph no longer needs a buddy Jana, my oldest daughter (14) has two buddies...she begged for the second buddy 4 yo Jason and then the new baby, Jackson awww Jill, my 13 yo daughter, has two buddies...Joy-Anna (almost 7) and James (3). Joy thinks that James is her buddy and Jill is just her assistant to help with James!:) And then Jessa, 12, has two buddies (Jeremiah, one of the twins, who's five and Justin, the one and a half year old). And of course Jeremiah thinks Jessa is just his assistant to help him take care of Justin. LOL! And then Jinger, our 10 yo, has one buddy: Jedidiah, the other twin (5) I really like that buddy idea And then John-David (14), twin to Jana, his buddy is Josiah, who is 8...but Josiah's old enough that he doesn't really need a buddy any longer. I think that covered everyone!

[Free Them All]

Jackson wets the bed and sleeps in one of the girls beds. I am sure Jana is required to be his buddy.

[Ella]

I really hope for Jana's sake and the sake of the girl whose bed he uses that Jackson is allowed to wear night diapers.

[Ella]

And why don't we see any branding of them?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Jackson wets the bed and sleeps in one of the girls beds. I am sure Jana is required to be his buddy.

Oh god whyyyyyyyyy! Did Michelle and Jimbob openly tell the entire world that Jackson still wets the bed at age 10 :( What kind of cruel parent would do that :( But then again we saw Josie shit her pants on camera.

At this point, I am convinced that if TLC thought it would be a good idea to put cameras in the bathrooms, Michelle and Jimbob would allow it as long as they had their own private bathroom to use.

[CorruptionInc.]

Oh god whyyyyyyyyy! Did Michelle and Jimbob openly tell the entire world that Jackson still wets the bed at age 10 :( What kind of cruel parent would do that :( But then again we saw Josie shit her pants on camera.

At this point, I am convinced that if TLC thought it would be a good idea to put cameras in the bathrooms, Michelle and Jimbob would allow it as long as they had their own private bathroom to use.

It just shows you that Mullet and Boob (to an extent) do not give a hoot about their children. It is rude of the child to put those things on television. Surely the editors would have some decency and edit it out?

[jingerdoe]

So who picks up Jessa's buddy, then?

[SassyPants]

So who picks up Jessa's buddy, then?

Michelle would be a good start.

[Natalie22]

So who picks up Jessa's buddy, then?

I would guess Jinger. She has one less buddy than the other girls, plus Hannie is the oldest of the five little girls and could probably help with Jordyn (if we are assuming Joy takes over for Jill). Jer probably doesn't need to still be on a team and Justin probably doesn't need much help.

[canis]

This is from 2011 so it's probably out of date, but

Jana - Josie, Jackson, Jason

Jill - Joy, Jenni, James (Guessing Joy has these two now)

Jessa - Jordyn, Jer, Justin

Jinger - Johannah, Jed.

This is my first post :D

Since in 2011 the older boys were not part of the buddy teams, I don't think they are now.

My suggestion how the buddy teams look:

Jana – Jackson (10), Josie (4)

Joy - Jenni (7)

Jinger – Johannah (9), Jordyn (5),

[Free Them All]

Why would a 7, 9 and 10 year old need a buddy unless they are trying to keep them babies as long as possible. I would think a buddy might be helpful for 6 year olds and under only. After that, they should be able to brush their teeth and hair and bath and dress themselves. If not----they need to go into intensive training with Moochelle and Jim Boob.

[Natalie22]

Why would a 7, 9 and 10 year old need a buddy unless they are trying to keep them babies as long as possible. I would think a buddy might be helpful for 6 year olds and under only. After that, they should be able to brush their teeth and hair and bath and dress themselves. If not----they need to go into intensive training with Moochelle and Jim Boob.

I would guess that it's a combo of being an easy way to organize the family when traveling and the bonds that they make while young. I'm sure when they are off campaigning or whatever it's easier for Michelle and Jim Bob just to tell the older girls to make sure their buddy teams get from point A to B, are on the bus when they're leaving, behave themselves while in a greenroom, etc. The second part probably has to do with the bond between the older girls, a.k.a surrogate moms, and the kids. From 6 months onwards they are responsible for their basic needs and pretty much become mom. I don't think it really matters what age you are, you are always going to have that sort of relationship with your sister-mom.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

Why would a 7, 9 and 10 year old need a buddy unless they are trying to keep them babies as long as possible. I would think a buddy might be helpful for 6 year olds and under only. After that, they should be able to brush their teeth and hair and bath and dress themselves. If not----they need to go into intensive training with Moochelle and Jim Boob.

My daughter is five and she can do all those things on her own (and she's so independent that she wants to do them on her own). The most I do for her is run the bathtub so it doesn't overflow and set her clothes out for her.

[Mama Mia]

I would guess that it's a combo of being an easy way to organize the family when traveling and the bonds that they make while young. I'm sure when they are off campaigning or whatever it's easier for Michelle and Jim Bob just to tell the older girls to make sure their buddy teams get from point A to B, are on the bus when they're leaving, behave themselves while in a greenroom, etc. The second part probably has to do with the bond between the older girls, a.k.a surrogate moms, and the kids. From 6 months onwards they are responsible for their basic needs and pretty much become mom. I don't think it really matters what age you are, you are always going to have that sort of relationship with your sister-mom.

Exactly. It's not like kids stop needing any parenting once they can dress themselves.

Think about all the daily care/guidance/reminders that go into parenting an 8 or 10 year old-

Reminders to do school work, checking on said school work, reminders to do chores/pick-up., conflict resolution in sibling fights, comforting when they get their feelings hurt. Reminders about schedules. Reminders to shower or eat or put on clean clothes ( one of my sons needed to be " prompted" to take a shower until he discovered it was hard to get dates if you weren't clean lol) . A ride to a friends. Being told not to ride their skateboard off the roof. All the stuff you listed above.

Even for teens - they don't need a " buddy" per se, but I doubt most people would think a 12 or 14 year old needs no parental guidance at all.

A lot of the physical work of parenting lessens once a child is 6 ish, but, in my experience, the day to day parenting load just shifts to needing more emotional and verbal guidance and support.

These older sisters have been the primary emotional bond to these kids forever - it would be pretty unnatural for that not to continue.

That, in my opinion, is the worst part about the extreme buddy system the Duggar's engage in. It isn't the diapers and bathing and physical hard work - at least for the grown kids . It's the complete parentiying of the sibling relationship. When the entire plan is doomed to heartache. The older ones are almost certainly going to marry and move out before their little charges are grown and out of the house. That's not the natural order of things. Children are supposed to grow up and leave their parents, not the other way around.

I don't even blame the Duggar's for not initially seeing the problems with this system. It seems like a good system for general crowd control and organization. But they went way too far and should of pulled back when they realized how much responsibility they were placing on the older kids - and how much of the emotional connection was being displaced.

[Feberin]

My daughter is five and she can do all those things on her own (and she's so independent that she wants to do them on her own). The most I do for her is run the bathtub so it doesn't overflow and set her clothes out for her.

Our dentist always tells us that they shouldn't brush their own teeth until they're eight years old. But other then brushing his teeth (only because of our dentist he can push around a toothbrush fairly well) and bathing completely independently my four-year-old can do all those old buddy responsibilities (getting dressed, fixing a simple breakfast, getting a snack). He was born a couple weeks before Josie's due date so if you go off those old buddy responsibilities all the kids should be more or less fine.

In Michelle's old chat that I posted she mentions eight-year-old Josiah no longer needing a buddy but I think buddies now also have to home school plus like others mentioned with all the travel that probably is a big role. But I do think Jed and Jer at 15 should be old enough to not really need much assistance from their buddies.

[bluebird]

IMO, a good deal of parenting is emotional...setting boundaries, guidance, support, fostering dreams and talent, the list is endless. Kids do not have the life experiences, maturity, insights and judgment to be in a parental role. Feeding, dressing, bathing, etc. are easy tasks in comparison. The younger kids have clearly not had proper boundaries taught, for example because their sister mom was not old enough herself to have developed the skill set needed to be effective. I think the older girls did the best that they could do with what they had. I feel sorry for the younger kids who are losing their primary parent. The grief in that household is likely not being acknowledged and dealt with. Yeah, life goes on...sadly.

[JumpingD]

I do think it would be interesting to get an update on the buddy teams post weddings.

[Mama Mia]

Wow, looking at that statement from Michelle regarding the buddy teams --- Jinger had her first buddy at 5 :shock:

I have several granddaughters that age. One of whom in particular is just a natural born little mother -- super responsible and clucking over everyone's behavior since she was a toddler. She loves to help with her little brother and would be Michelle's dream slave. It's just her personality.

I still can not, in my worst nightmares, imagine putting her in charge of diapering, Bathing, and caring for an infant!! That is true meth head status parenting there! I am really, really hoping the whole buddy system was a very, very watered down version of what we see now. But since Jinger's first buddy was one of the twins, which naturally means more work -- I'm not hopeful.

[FreeHannie!]

I do think it would be interesting to get an update on the buddy teams post weddings.

TLC doesn't want the bad publicity of poor sweet Jenny being a sobbing mess every night because she misses her real momma Jill.

[FreeHannie!]

I don't even blame the Duggar's for not initially seeing the problems with this system. It seems like a good system for general crowd control and organization. But they went way too far and should of pulled back when they realized how much responsibility they were placing on the older kids - and how much of the emotional connection was being displaced.

Yeah, it's one thing to ask an older child to keep an eye on a younger child. I'm in a family of 3 kids and when we were out, my mom would hold my hand or my twin sisters hand and ask our brother (5 years older) to hold the other's hand. It makes sense, it stopped one of us getting lost.

But she never expected my brother to parent us. That's where the Duggars went so wrong.

[Ursula]

Yeesh. I know those of us in North America tend to now live in a society that coddles children like crazy but I think some of you are still looking at the youngest Duggars as though they're still between the ages of 6 months - 10 years. Their three youngest children are nearly 5, nearly 6 and 7. All seem to be fully toilet trained, though even if some wet the bed at night there is no reason at their ages they can't be changing their own pull-ups and cleaning themselves up in the morning. All should be capable of dressing themselves, brushing hair and teeth (I doubt the Duggars give a shit about dentist recommended ages regarding that), fixing their own simple snacks or at least grabbing a piece of fruit (HAH!) or whatever, and playing on their own as long as its in the safety of their home.

Looking at the kids who were listed in these buddy teams, Joyless, the oldest, is 17 years old. She's nearly a legal adult herself. She is probably close to "graduating" home fooling, and most likely has her full driver's license. Why the ever loving fuck would she need a buddy at this point in her life?

Boy twins are nearly 16. They are most likely still home fooling, but for the higher grade kiddos, it seems to be mostly self driven computer work. They're teenage boys so they may need a reminder from an adult (OF WHICH 8 ((EIGHT!!!!!!11) LIVE IN THE DUGGAR HOME) to get on with their studies but they may be good students on their own and complete their work without much prodding. They should both be close to getting a full driver's license as I think you can at 16 in AR (and you only need to be 14 for a learners, scary!). They do not need buddies.

Jason is 14, James 13, Justin nearly 12. They're all still going to be home fooling, and might need some extra attention as I think it was admitted by OfJimboob that at least one of them as a learning disability. But they should all be doing the older section of home fooling which again seems to be the self driven computer learning. OfJimboob should have enough time in the day to check their work a few times a day to make sure they're keeping track. Actually, we already know that they basically hired that Query woman as their full-time home fool teacher so these kids are basically being tutored, which is better than what they were getting before, most likely. Everything else these three are more than capable of taking care of on their own. By the time I was Justin's age, I was babysitting younger children! They do not need buddies.

Jackson is 10 and a half but seems so much younger because I think he's babied like crazy being the Duggar's youngest and last BOY (the only ones who matter, naturally). He still doesn't need a buddy at his age as his fooling is taken care of by Ms. Query and he's more than old enough to pour cereal, make toast, cook a grilled cheese (maybe with an older person/adult nearby, which there always would be given the sheer amount of people who live in the home), etc. If he truly is still wetting the bed at his age he should be medically evaluated. I had a friend who did into his early teens when his doctor recommended he see a chiropractor. A couple of back adjustments and he never did again (apparently his spine was pinching the nerve that triggers the feeling of needing to go while you're asleep so he would never feel it - this could be Jackson's issue if it's true about him still bed wetting). But even so there's no reason the kid can't change his own pull-ups if he wears them or help to change sheets if he has an accident. He doesn't really need a buddy.

Johanna is 9. 9 is the age I stopped going to after school baby sitters and was allowed to let myself in my home after walking home from school (sometimes I'd walk by MYSELF, HORROR!!) and be alone for a few hours until my parents got home from work. And since at 8, Josiah no longer needed a buddy, Johanna doesn't need one at a year older than he was then.

The three youngest still seem to be considered "little" kids in the Duggars eyes but even then, the day to day hardships of diapers, bottle and spoon feeding, changing clothes because of messes, and doing pretty much everything for a baby and toddlers is long gone from the main Duggar home. I think the buddy teams have been completely disbanded.

But, what is happening now? Now the older women who aren't married are being shipped off to Josh and OfJosh's house to take care of their niece and nephews. Both Jana and Joyless seem to have spent the better part of this past spring and summer up there. I guess three is too much for OfJosh to handle though why she needs TWO additional helpers I don't know. I think OfJimBoob can spare two of her slaves, even with two others permanently gone, just because of how much easier it is with having 13 older kids (5 of those 13 being legal adults) vs. 3 younger kids in the home.