Maxwell's lastest post

[twin2]

My theory is he wanted to court one of the girls (Anna probably) but after waiting for three years for Steve's approval he's given up and found himself a girl with a normal father instead.

Or he refused Steve's request to give up his business back in Idaho, but a house on 123 Maxwell Lane and agree to work for Maxwell and Sons Inc.

[PennySycamore]

Guys and Dolls was on TCM today for an Ol' Blue Eyes' (aka Frank Sinatra's) birthday celebration. Other than formal wear, white ties make me think of this:

xVlQXvrWC_A

[thoughtful]

Guys and Dolls was on TCM today for an Ol' Blue Eyes' (aka Frank Sinatra's) birthday celebration. Other than formal wear, white ties make me think of this

I was thinking of this thread as I watched it, too.

It made me imagine a person who hears there will be some lovely bluegrass and Gospel music and homeschooling advice at their church, comes in, and realizes who is performing:

Fuck! It’s the Maxwells tonight!

Is it too late to take flight?

Duck out before they find a moment to begin to

Cluck like sick chickens tonight.

Stuck, in this room I will be,

Sorry I came, ’though it’s free.

I know the way they’ve treated other church’s members,

Yuck! Not what I want to see.

A Maxwell never leaves you smiling,

It isn’t grace, it’s the hard sell,

A Maxwell doesn’t give up on breaking you down,

Until you are frightened of Hell.

So, let me get out now, I pray

Lest I hear “Trust eeeend Obey!â€

Stuck with the Maxwells, as I watch them bring the room down,

Suck all the light from the day.

A Maxwell never breaks the dress code,

If I were them, I’d be so bored

A Maxwell never swerves from Big Steve’s party line,

And risk their Eternal Reward!

How can I still be polite?

Smiling with all of my might,

Slipped out a side door, and I’m happy I can say I

Bucked off the crazy tonight!

[Hane]

I was thinking of this thread as I watched it, too.

It made me imagine a person who hears there will be some lovely bluegrass and Gospel music and homeschooling advice at their church, comes in, and realizes who is performing:

Fuck! It’s the Maxwells tonight!

Is it too late to take flight?

Duck out before they find a moment to begin to

Cluck like sick chickens tonight.

Stuck, in this room I will be,

Sorry I came, ’though it’s free.

I know the way they’ve treated other church’s members,

Yuck! Not what I want to see.

A Maxwell never leaves you smiling,

It isn’t grace, it’s the hard sell,

A Maxwell doesn’t give up on breaking you down,

Until you are frightened of Hell.

So, let me get out now, I pray

Lest I hear “Trust eeeend Obey!â€

Stuck with the Maxwells, as I watch them bring the room down,

Suck all the light from the day.

A Maxwell never breaks the dress code,

If I were them, I’d be so bored

A Maxwell never swerves from Big Steve’s party line,

And risk their Eternal Reward!

How can I still be polite?

Smiling with all of my might,

Slipped out a side door, and I’m happy I can say I

Bucked off the crazy tonight!

thoughtful, you've done it again! This one was a shrieking-with-laughter, scaring-the-dog success!!!

[Dysfundamental]

To keep up the Guys and Dolls theme:

I dreamed last night

I was on the bus to heaven

And I thought that maybe we could have some fun

I leaned forward

Just to switch the radio station

But the Maxwells overruled me one by one

And the Maxwells all said,"Sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus

And the devil will drag you under

If you're not as pure as one of us

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus."

We drove away on that little bus to heaven,

And by some chance, I had a bottle in my fist

And there stood Nicely pouring out the Pepsi---

But the passengers were bound to resist.

For the people all said, "Beware!

That drink will make you get fat."

Yes, the Maxwells all said, "Beware!

You'll make an idol of that."

And as I laughed at those Maxwells in Uriah,

The bus swerved, and I tumbled out the door

And as I rolled, and I called "Stevehovah, save me!"

That's the moment that I woke up, thank the Lord!

And I said to myself, "Sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus!

And the devil will drag you under

If you take two cookies, or scream, or cuss

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus!"

[Marian the Librarian]

Bravo! Thoughtful and Dysfundamental, those are my two favorite songs from Guys and Dolls. Y'all are geniuses! :lol:

[Lillybee]

I am so grateful that I wasn't born a Maxwell.

[Jana814]

I am so grateful that I wasn't born a Maxwell.

Every single day I'm greatful I was not born a Maxwell.

[Hane]

To keep up the Guys and Dolls theme:

I dreamed last night

I was on the bus to heaven

And I thought that maybe we could have some fun

I leaned forward

Just to switch the radio station

But the Maxwells overruled me one by one

And the Maxwells all said,"Sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus

And the devil will drag you under

If you're not as pure as one of us

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus."

We drove away on that little bus to heaven,

And by some chance, I had a bottle in my fist

And there stood Nicely pouring out the Pepsi---

But the passengers were bound to resist.

For the people all said, "Beware!

That drink will make you get fat."

Yes, the Maxwells all said, "Beware!

You'll make an idol of that."

And as I laughed at those Maxwells in Uriah,

The bus swerved, and I tumbled out the door

And as I rolled, and I called "Stevehovah, save me!"

That's the moment that I woke up, thank the Lord!

And I said to myself, "Sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus!

And the devil will drag you under

If you take two cookies, or scream, or cuss

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,

Sit down, you're shocking the bus!"

Dysfundamental--brilliance!

[sparkles]

I think I just died from laughing so hard, thanks to Dysfundamental and Thoughtful. AWESOMENESS!

[MamaJunebug]

I think I just died from laughing so hard, thanks to Dysfundamental and Thoughtful. AWESOMENESS!

True talent. True talent!!!! *bowing lowwwwww*

[thoughtful]

Glad I could provide some laughs -- lord knows it's the only way the Maxwells will ever make anyone happy.

And Dysfundamental, Brava! You must do more!

ETA -- I was thinking of doing "I'll Know" or "Adelaide's Lament" for Sarah, but there's so little that needs to be changed, it made me sad. :(

[lizziesmom]

Guys and Dolls was on TCM today for an Ol' Blue Eyes' (aka Frank Sinatra's) birthday celebration. Other than formal wear, white ties make me think of this:

xVlQXvrWC_A

I always thought both Marlon Brando and Jean Simmons were miscast in this. I did see G&D on Broadway though, with Faith Prince in the role of Adelaide and Megan Mullally as Sister Sarah and they were fantastic!

[SPHASH]

Every single day I'm greatful I was not born a Maxwell.

Every single day I thank God I was not born a Maxwell. Or a Duggar. Or an Anderson. Or an Alexander. Or an Arndt.

[PennySycamore]

I always wonder how the Hot Box girls got away with those cat costumes. They were racy! Basically a nude leotard with a few sequins scattered around with rhinestones or a line of sequins right under the bust. It looked like the girls were naked. Or almost so.

[smittykins]

Every single day I thank God I was not born a Maxwell. Or a Duggar. Or an Anderson. Or an Alexander. Or an Arndt.

Or a Pearl.

[Trynn]

Or a Phillips

[albanuadh_1]

The Maxwells' carolling post is up.

[twin2]

Ah, how nice. The big guy in the sky took time out his busy day to make sure the Maxwells had a nice flurry of snow for their caroling adventure. :roll:

The "taking notes" things killed me. Can't they just do something for fun and leave it at that.

[FloraKitty35]

Ah, how nice. The big guy in the sky took time out his busy day to make sure the Maxwells had a nice flurry of snow for their caroling adventure. :roll:

The "taking notes" things killed me. Can't they just do something for fun and leave it at that.

Fun for the sake of fun, Stevehovah would never allow that.

[Jana814]

The Maxwells' carolling post is up.

I always wonder how their neighbors feel about them caroling to them.

[WonderingInWA]

I always wonder how their neighbors feel about them caroling to them.

I always wonder how their neighbors feel about them caroling AT them. There is no escape once they open the door.

Fixed that for ya, Jana814. :lol:

P.S. Does anyone know how to do strikethrough text on this board? I've seen people do it, but can't figure it out. Hellllp!

[twin2]

I always wonder how their neighbors feel about them caroling AT them. There is no escape once they open the door.

Fixed that for ya, Jana814. :lol:

P.S. Does anyone know how to do strikethrough text on this board? I've seen people do it, but can't figure it out. Hellllp!

Up on the panel where the quote box is got to the right and there is a box with an 's'. Highlight what you want to strike through and click it.

[WonderingInWA]

Up on the panel where the quote box is got to the right and there is a box with an 's'. Highlight what you want to strike through and click it.

Ohhhh, thank you! And, did you see what I did there? LOL.

And now back to your regularly scheduled snarking...

[johnhugh]

Poor Sarah wrote:

Also, we’ve found taking notes after the fact helps. For example: how many loaves did we make? how many did we give out? what time did we start? did it allow enough time to get through all the houses? etc.

:angry-banghead: You went f***ing carol singing, it's not a board meeting.

No mention of the Bible verse left on the gift tags, I thought this was why they go bothering their neighbours. I wonder if some pretend not to be in, or others only answer the door to get the booty?