Those poor, misunderstood Pearls..../CNN Clip [Merge]

[salex]

3 things.

I am amazed that she is a fangirl of the Pearls. She comes across as much to "Real Housewives of Southern Cal" to ever be seen in public with the Pearls.

She will always defend the holy abuse of children, because if she can't beat a kid or grandkid into submission, that means she has no outlet for the rage she exhibits in her passive aggressive posts about Ken and his treatment of her. It is classic man comes home beats wife who beats kid who kicks dog sort of crap.

She says she was not an obedient wife for the first 23 years... so does that mean she didn't beat her own little kids with plumbing line, or she did, but wasn't yet wholly submissive to her husband?

I believe that Lori Alexander is a Monster is much to gentle a tag to hang on her, but I suspect Lori Alexander is a hateful twat wouldn't be much better. I do like the one posted earlier that, instead of Lori Alexander is a Monster , Lori Alexander is wretched old hag.

[lilwriter85]

FYI--we missed snarking on Ken's epically long guest post on his view of their marriage yesterday.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/11/kens-side-of-story.html

I read that last night when I was checking a couple of other blogs I follow. That post was way too long and I wasn't surprised when Ken mentioned that his mother was submissive. I also got the strong impression that Ken has a hard time dealing with Lori's health problems.

[lilwriter85]

3 things.

I am amazed that she is a fangirl of the Pearls. She comes across as much to "Real Housewives of Southern Cal" to ever be seen in public with the Pearls.

She will always defend the holy abuse of children, because if she can't beat a kid or grandkid into submission, that means she has no outlet for the rage she exhibits in her passive aggressive posts about Ken and his treatment of her. It is classic man comes home beats wife who beats kid who kicks dog sort of crap.

She says she was not an obedient wife for the first 23 years... so does that mean she didn't beat her own little kids with plumbing line, or she did, but wasn't yet wholly submissive to her husband?

I believe that Lori Alexander is a Monster is much to gentle a tag to hang on her, but I suspect Lori Alexander is a hateful twat wouldn't be much better. I do like the one posted earlier that, instead of Lori Alexander is a Monster , Lori Alexander is wretched old hag.

I agree she is too Real Housewives of Southern Cal to be seen with fundies like the Pearls, or even Duggars, and Bateses. I bet that if she met any of those families they wouldn't like her because she would be seen as too worldly. I also think as much as she praises the Pearls, she would never want to be seen with them in public and I also bet Ken wouldn't either. Overall, Lori fits in more with the Mark Driscoll type fundies.

Lori has mentioned in a few postings that she used a leather strap on her kids, so I think she means she wasn't wholly submissive to Ken.

[FiddleDD]

Years ago it was explained to me that the rod symbolized the shepherds staff, which is used to guide the sheep and keep them where they are supposed to be. Guiding has nothing to do with beating.

Exactly! Those words were written to a nation of shepherds. The rod was a long stick with a crook on the end. It was used to gently keep the sheep from going anywhere dangerous. It never had anything to do with beating children, it was just something child abusers latched onto so they could claim they were following the bible.

[salex]

I read what I could stomach of Ken's little post. What losers these two are-- it took them over 2 decades in a sucky marriage before they did anything about it... and now they think they can tell others how to have a good marriage?

clearly they both married the wrong person.

[ILoveJellybeans]

So wonderful is her married life that she feels the need to parade her husband's dirty laundry to the entire interwebz on a daily basis.

I still think one of the most heartbreaking things I read in TTUAC was the description of a little girl playing with a doll. She stripped off the clothes, got a twig from a tree and started beating the doll for "being bad". Mike Pearl thought this was wonderful and foretold great things for this little girl when she became a mother. I saw the cycle of abuse continuing.

Yeah, that was rather creepy.

And the fact that the little girl was acting it out doesn't make it okay or her thinking that it is a good thing that her parents beat her, children often use play to express their feelings about things that happen in their life, or work through bad things that have happened.

Maybe the little girl takes her anger out on her dolls and beats them up because she feels powerless with her parents beating her and cant take it out on them.

Or she is just acting out things she sees in real life-loads of kids act out adult roles in play-looking after their dolls, pretending to be a doctor, police officer or turning a few boxes in a line into a train and pretending to drive it, finding bowls and spoons and pretending to bake a cake...they copy whatever they see.

This doesn't mean that whatever they see is good. You might find a child who has witnessed violence in the home (or been the victim of violence) playing violent games with their toys. There have been kids who have been molested or exposed to porn who are acting out sex scenes with their dolls. If someone let their kid watch films for adults, that kid would play games about those, with bad language, murders, sex...

I hope this little girl gets therapy and is able to be a loving mother to her children if she chooses to have them.

I have worked with children in the past, and I would probably be very suspicious of the parents of a child who did grab a stick and beat her doll because it was naughty.

[2xx1xy1JD]

"Train a child in his way, that he will not depart from it when he is older" is part of Proverbs. That's true.

It doesn't say that the best way to train a child is to strike babies with plumbing line or wooden spoons.

In the original Hebrew, it says to train a child is HIS way, not THE way. I was taught that this means that you should use methods that are suitable for that particular child. "Training" also means something different from merely teaching a lesson in a formal way. It includes all the unintentional, non-verbal learning that children do. Setting a positive example, following routines, using repetition, building a strong bond with your child - all of these are part of "training". Not plumbing line.

[2xx1xy1JD]

The Book of Proverbs is not a book of commandments to be followed literally. It uses emphatic language as a metaphor.

For example, read Proverbs 23:1-2:

"When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee:

2 And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite."

Is anyone seriously saying that if you are invited to a state function and feel hungry, you should stab yourself in the throat? Of course not!

[snarkyjan]

Yeah, that was rather creepy.

And the fact that the little girl was acting it out doesn't make it okay or her thinking that it is a good thing that her parents beat her, children often use play to express their feelings about things that happen in their life, or work through bad things that have happened.

Maybe the little girl takes her anger out on her dolls and beats them up because she feels powerless with her parents beating her and cant take it out on them.

Or she is just acting out things she sees in real life-loads of kids act out adult roles in play-looking after their dolls, pretending to be a doctor, police officer or turning a few boxes in a line into a train and pretending to drive it, finding bowls and spoons and pretending to bake a cake...they copy whatever they see.

This doesn't mean that whatever they see is good. You might find a child who has witnessed violence in the home (or been the victim of violence) playing violent games with their toys. There have been kids who have been molested or exposed to porn who are acting out sex scenes with their dolls. If someone let their kid watch films for adults, that kid would play games about those, with bad language, murders, sex...

I hope this little girl gets therapy and is able to be a loving mother to her children if she chooses to have them.

I have worked with children in the past, and I would probably be very suspicious of the parents of a child who did grab a stick and beat her doll because it was naughty.

I hate to say it but it may already be too late. I think the little girl was one of the Pearls' own grand-daughters,

[thoughtful]

They don't say who the little girl was:

The other day at our house, a three-year-old little girl was playing with dolls. (Let me interject: All children's dolls should be BABY dolls, not "Barbie" dolls. The fantasy arising from playing with baby dolls causes the child to role-play mother. The fantasy arising from Barbie dolls causes a child to role-play a sex goddess. "As a [child] thinketh in his heart so is he (Prov. 23: 7)." This little girl was role-playing mother. Up until about a year ago, she was disobedient and spoiled. After some counseling, the parents straightened up on their training and discipline. Today she is an ideal little girl, always obedient and cheerful. What was interesting is the role she assumed with her baby. In her imagination the baby started crying after being given a command. She scolded her baby, turned her over and spanked her. She then spoke comforting, reassuring words and praised her baby for being good. She perfectly mimicked the loving, patient tone and firmness of her own mother.

As we sneaked a peek at the proceedings, she continued her "mother practice" session. Several situations arose with her rag baby which she promptly and firmly dealt with like an old pro. In fact, I could not have handled the make-believe situations any better. She told the screaming child (a rag doll). "No! That's not nice. You can't have it now. Stop your crying. SWITCH, SWITCH. If you don't stop crying, Mama will have to spank you again. SWITCH, SWITCH, SWITCH. OK, stop crying now. That's better. Now see if you can play happily."

Here is a three-year-old "mother" already prepared to rear happy obedient children. She knows exactly what to expect from her mother. And, what is further amazing, she knows exactly what her mother expects from her. She disciplined her baby doll for attitudes, not actions. This three-year-old little girl is a near finished product. The battle is won. As long as the parents consistently maintain what they have already instilled, the child will never be anything but a blessing and help.

[JMarie]

They don't say who the little girl was:

[RosyDaisy]

They are evil, sadistic monsters who advocate beating children and infants. There is no misunderstanding that.

[allyisyourpally5]

The cold bath thing isn't a cold bath. It is an incident where a man had a 3 year old son still in diapers. Michael Pearl suggested when he pooped his diaper to take him in the back yard and hose him off instead of making it a nice, comfortable experience, ie, laying on a soft bed, warm wipes, and the attention of his mother. He was pooping on the toilet shortly after being hosed off in the backyard. To me, this is good, ole' creative child training!

this makes me ill.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I don't know what the Pearls were thinking when they say that Barbies make girls role play being a sex goddess, but that doesn't happen. Unless someone is showing their children inappropriate things, they wont role play sexual situations with their dolls.

When I played with Barbies, I used to play families-I had child ones as well, and a few little plastic babies and also toy animals which could be their pets. I also used to dress them up (and one time, cut their hair). I used to role play out daily life-put them to bed, make them go for a drive in the car and go shopping, make them go to work, or go on adventures outside in the garden...I did used to dress the male ones up in womens clothes sometimes though. Eventually each one ended up naked as I lost the clothes. But no sex. Not until I was a teenager and thought it was funny to put my little sisters dolls in rude positions.

And is acting out violent scenes with dolls any better than rubbing two naked Barbie dolls together and laughing "Look, they're having sex". Why is violence okay but sex not?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Yeah, that was rather creepy.

And the fact that the little girl was acting it out doesn't make it okay or her thinking that it is a good thing that her parents beat her, children often use play to express their feelings about things that happen in their life, or work through bad things that have happened.

Maybe the little girl takes her anger out on her dolls and beats them up because she feels powerless with her parents beating her and cant take it out on them.

Or she is just acting out things she sees in real life-loads of kids act out adult roles in play-looking after their dolls, pretending to be a doctor, police officer or turning a few boxes in a line into a train and pretending to drive it, finding bowls and spoons and pretending to bake a cake...they copy whatever they see.

This doesn't mean that whatever they see is good. You might find a child who has witnessed violence in the home (or been the victim of violence) playing violent games with their toys. There have been kids who have been molested or exposed to porn who are acting out sex scenes with their dolls. If someone let their kid watch films for adults, that kid would play games about those, with bad language, murders, sex...

I hope this little girl gets therapy and is able to be a loving mother to her children if she chooses to have them.

I have worked with children in the past, and I would probably be very suspicious of the parents of a child who did grab a stick and beat her doll because it was naughty.

They are proving a point that I often make: Little kids learn by example, more than they learn by instruction.

The main thing that this little girl learned from being spanked was how to be a spanker.

"Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is older, he shall not depart from it" is indeed true. What we learn as children, from the examples around us, actually gets hard-wired into our brains. That little girl was programmed to see a baby as NEEDING a spanking. When she becomes a mother, spanking will be an automatic response for her, in situations where a mother who was not spanked as a child wouldn't dream of it. She may hear about other parenting techniques, or not like the idea of spanking, but it will be much harder for her to stop thinking about it as the first solution, or to feel natural using other discipline methods.

[BoomerLynn]

They don't say who the little girl was:

This is so very disturbing. I feel sick just reading it.

[Trynn]

They don't say who the little girl was:

Playing with barbie dolls will turn me into a sex goddess? Interesting. I played with Barbries as a child, and I am asexual.

This type of play alone would not worry me too horribly much... I used to do similar stuff to my dolls when I was a child, and I never experienced (physical) abuse. I would definitely see a need to speak to the child and make sure she knew this wasn't acceptable behavior for parents.

However, what DOES disturb me about this is the attitude of the onlookers, thinking that this 3 year old child is nearly ready to be a mother. I don't mean to say that the hitting isn't disturbing as well, but we KNOW the pearls believe that. But that they believe a 3 year old is almost ready for children? Seriously?

[CynicMom]

The daughters of plantation owners would role-play whipping their doll slaves. This is because kids play-act what they see. Doesn't make it right.

[lizziesmom]

I don't know what the Pearls were thinking when they say that Barbies make girls role play being a sex goddess, but that doesn't happen. Unless someone is showing their children inappropriate things, they wont role play sexual situations with their dolls.

When I played with Barbies, I used to play families-I had child ones as well, and a few little plastic babies and also toy animals which could be their pets. I also used to dress them up (and one time, cut their hair). I used to role play out daily life-put them to bed, make them go for a drive in the car and go shopping, make them go to work, or go on adventures outside in the garden...I did used to dress the male ones up in womens clothes sometimes though. Eventually each one ended up naked as I lost the clothes. But no sex. Not until I was a teenager and thought it was funny to put my little sisters dolls in rude positions.

And is acting out violent scenes with dolls any better than rubbing two naked Barbie dolls together and laughing "Look, they're having sex". Why is violence okay but sex not?

ITA agree with your post. My Barbies dated or were married to Ken or GI Joe. I had a bunch of "Little Kiddles" whose heads I pulled off and attached to the bodies of about 4 or 5 Todd and Tooties (Barbie's little sister and brother, whose bodies were rubber and wire and whose limbs didn't hold up well to play). By using the different heads I had a family of five different children. The closest my dolls came to sex was sleeping in the same bed.

[Trynn]

My barbies only had sex because I was trying to figure out how such an act was even physically possible... In other words, normal preteen curiosity.

[guidedbybobafett]

This woman's "ministry" makes me sick. She's judgmental, cruel, and doesn't have one iota of critical thinking skills.

[guidedbybobafett]

Playing with barbie dolls will turn me into a sex goddess? Interesting. I played with Barbries as a child, and I am asexual.

This type of play alone would not worry me too horribly much... I used to do similar stuff to my dolls when I was a child, and I never experienced (physical) abuse. I would definitely see a need to speak to the child and make sure she knew this wasn't acceptable behavior for parents.

However, what DOES disturb me about this is the attitude of the onlookers, thinking that this 3 year old child is nearly ready to be a mother. I don't mean to say that the hitting isn't disturbing as well, but we KNOW the pearls believe that. But that they believe a 3 year old is almost ready for children? Seriously?

I find this pretty disturbing, as children often play out the things that are on their minds. This child hit her baby doll multiple times in the same play session? I would assume that a parent would want "discipline" to be relatively far from their child's mind while its playing (normal parents, not abusive, disgusting, controlling assholes). If my child was often hitting their baby dolls and this behavior was popping up pretty often, I would be incredibly concerned. I would want to know why my child was so concerned about punishment. I would also assume that the fact of this punishment weighed heavily on their mind, since play is often the only way they have to act out their concerns. This makes me very sad.

[Hane]

A few years ago, a young mother I know had given her 2.5-year-old daughter a smack for misbehaving. Not long afterwards, she noticed the little girl smacking her doll, saying, "Baby Bobby was bad for crying." This really upset her mother. I explained to her that kids that age don't think the way we do*, and may not have understood what had happened. She immediately decided that corporal punishment was a no-go. Now she has two delightful, happy, well-behaved school-aged girls.

*I cited an anecdote from my own 2.5-year-old: Back then, we used to run errands on Saturday mornings, then go out to lunch, then home for her nap. (She really needed the nap because she would melt down without it, but resisted it anyway.) As we ate, she looked at me and said, "I'm eating my hamburger nice." (She always did, so I wondered why she mentioned it.) "Yes, you are," I replied. Then she said, "Say, 'What a GOOD girl. Now you don't have to have a nap.'" "Nice try, kid," I said.

[August]

I don't know what the Pearls were thinking when they say that Barbies make girls role play being a sex goddess, but that doesn't happen. Unless someone is showing their children inappropriate things, they wont role play sexual situations with their dolls.

Yeah, um, alright.

[lilwriter85]

This woman's "ministry" makes me sick. She's judgmental, cruel, and doesn't have one iota of critical thinking skills.

I agree with this. There are things about Lori that scares me more than some of the things Zsu does.