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Zach Bates and Whitney engaged


xReems

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Beach wedding proposals are romantic, regardless of who the couple are.

I thought the whole thing was pretty romantic with him surprise flying her out there and the dinner on the beach and all...up until I remembered that his parents were right there taking pictures of the whole thing so they weren't alone the whole time. Kind of drains the romance out of the whole thing.

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Well, this is very interesting..Either the Bates family reads here or someone is notifying them about stuff.

I just find it weird how the second I post this thread, regarding the engagement, this morning Kelly, miraculously posts about the engagement. Fine, I'll let that one slide..HOWEVER...

On Alyssa's supposed pinterest, she mentioned how she's crazy about her boyfriend but that has suddenly disappeared in the "about" section AND all the "wedding" boards she had too.

There were a bunch of other people commenting on her blog posts asking about Zach and Whitney, and she kept promising them she'd post about it. There still may be a spy (!) but I think her engagement post was going to happen anyway.

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There were a bunch of other people commenting on her blog posts asking about Zach and Whitney, and she kept promising them she'd post about it. There still may be a spy (!) but I think her engagement post was going to happen anyway.

Snark is public again, so anyone reading here who knows the Bates isn't "spying", they are simply reading the forum.

I think I would freak out a bit if I got engaged to some guy I met working at a fast food restaurant then discovered that there was a forum that discussed the minutiae of our relationship and his family.

Just as I would freak out if I was a socially isolated fundie teenager with her first social media account, dreaming of weddings and my first boyfriend and probably hoping my parents didn't find out he was my boyfriend and not "a friend I'm getting to know with the view of possibly courting" and found out that a whole heap of strangers on the Internet found out about it and were discussing it and speculating on wether there was parental approval.

I don't disagree with what we do here (obviously), but I do understand the less public of the people we discuss freaking out a bit when they discover how intense the interest in their lives is. Jessa Duggar probably isn't surprised by it, but Whitney and Allyssa probably are.

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Now that Zach is engaged to a woman outside the Gothard influence, do you think she will be expected to take the courses and homeschool their children?

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Now that Zach is engaged to a woman outside the Gothard influence, do you think she will be expected to take the courses and homeschool their children?

Yes. She has stopped wearing pants, she erased or hid the immodest items on her interest and Kelly won't say if Whitney will keep working after she marries Zach.

I think Whitney has fallen in love with fundie lifestyle. Her adoptive parents have 11 children and she's marrying a man who has 18 sibling. Quite a few of the people we follow we're not born into Gothardism.

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Zach looks like he has a hard-on

The poor guy has gone 24 years without touching a woman he wasn't related to, I'd be more surprised if he didn't have one. :D

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They look so happy together. It's really nice to see. I think Whitney is a much better choice for than and Sarah.

I hope they become Fundy light... Or even better not fundy at all

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Kelly and Gil must be having a great time chaperoning, but how can they (whoever's paying) afford all the restaurants, transportation, and hotels associated with these courtships? Neither Chad nor Zach seem to be especially well off and Gil 'borrows' from Lawson.

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We don't know whether they still borrow from Lawson or not. We simply don't know unless somebody of their family comes out and seconds that. I think they have become pretty good at getting good deals at some places or maybe stayed at a friend's inn or they saved some of the United Bates and VSE money or whatever...

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These men have none of the usual adult expenses. They live with their parents and their mothers and sisters cook and clean for them. They have probably been saving for their courtship and marriages since they were young teenagers, and now they are finally allowed to spend on extravagant fun with the women they are in the infatuated throes of puppy love with. It's the only fun, frivolous and romantic time these couples will experience - as soon as they marry they will have to live on one homeschooled boy's income and will soon have a baby on the way. Remember when Josh told Anna on their honeymoon not to get used to fancy dinners out? I know the Duggar Minors kept splurging on eating out, but they had been raised with the cultural expectation that they would splurge on courtship and honeymoon then scrimp and buy used to allow them to raise eleventy kids on one income for the rest of their lives.

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I was thinking about how different the Bates' proposals were from Smugger's. Granted they were both cheesey, but both guys put forth a lot of effort to make the day special. Chad Paine planned an entire day for Erin and Zach flew Whitney to Florida to propose on the beach. Smugger brought Anna some balloons and proposed at a restaurant where the wait staff wore t-shirts. I know that's par for the course for Smuggar, but I think it shows Chad and Zach care about Erin and Whitney's feelings.

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I would be horrified if my fiance proposed to me the way Zach or Chad did. It's just not my thing at all. To me it would feel extremely phony - because it would be, because by then my future spouse should know that I wouldn't want that kind of thing. I'd much rather a more low key proposal like Josh & Anna's, but even then... not in public (and definitely not being filmed). I have a friend whose fiance proposed to her by kneeling in the middle of a giant heart drawn into the sand on a beach while her friends hid in the woods and photographed the whole thing. She was thrilled, I would have been really uncomfortable!

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These men have none of the usual adult expenses. They live with their parents and their mothers and sisters cook and clean for them. They have probably been saving for their courtship and marriages since they were young teenagers, and now they are finally allowed to spend on extravagant fun with the women they are in the infatuated throes of puppy love with.

This is a good point, really. While neither Zach or Chad are well off and who knows how they will manage to provide for their wives and the expected big families, both of them have probably been encouraged to save some money for courting and marriage. Probably not much but it's enough for them to splurge on the whole proposal thing; plus they probably are able to stretch the money a bit by finding deals, etc.

It's the only fun, frivolous and romantic time these couples will experience - as soon as they marry they will have to live on one homeschooled boy's income and will soon have a baby on the way. Remember when Josh told Anna on their honeymoon not to get used to fancy dinners out?

This is exactly what I thought when I saw both Chad/Erin's and Zach/Whit's proposal/engagement photos. These are the "fun" times right now but it's going to be a different story down the line.

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We don't know whether they still borrow from Lawson or not. We simply don't know unless somebody of their family comes out and seconds that. I think they have become pretty good at getting good deals at some places or maybe stayed at a friend's inn or they saved some of the United Bates and VSE money or whatever...

I would add that their business is probably doing well simply based on the fact that they are "celebrities." How many people go to restaurants simply because it is owned by a "celebrity" chef? (I have family in Savannah, so I can assure you crazy fans are lining up around the block to eat Paula Deen's food and, ohmygod, please, maybe get a glimpse of the cookin' racist herself.) Heck, look at how the Duggar's church has grown! That's sure as hell not because of the message. I'd bet it'd be much bigger if it wasn't by invitation only.

If people are willing to wrangle invitations to church and stand outside in Southern heat for a possible glimpse of a "celebrity", how much more are people going to be willing to call a tree service and have a handful of "celebrities" delivered to their yard? I'd put good money on more than one Tweet or FB status saying, "OMG, Gil Bates is cutting down my tree RIGHT NOW."

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I think TLC OWES Zak a nice honeymoon at least for throwing him under the bus on his first "courtship"...... I'm sure the Duggars will be there for Erin and I imagine all the Duggar girls will be in it along with all the Bates girls--55 or so attendants or something like that! :lol:

The first courtship was aired on an NBC news show.

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I really would like to see someone call Jimbob out on his cruel jokes. If he did that to them and Zach hit him in the face, I would laugh.

Please, God, make this happen. I would DVR it, and it could be my own type of Prozac. :cracking-up: :popcorn2:

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I think it's deliberate to show off the ring for the pictures.

When Mr Oz gave me my ring, I was rocking that rock every chance I got. :lol:

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Zach had been planning for weeks. He had coordinated with her parents to have an overnight bag ready and waiting. He had arranged absences with her work and college.

I would not be happy if someone just up and decided that I would miss a couple of days of school without consulting me. School is expensive and if I am going to be paying all that money in tuition I want to get my money's worth. Although you can get other people's notes from classes but it is a really poor substitution for actually being there.

That whole thing made me really upset. First, it shows just how little agency women in these belief systems have to have their schedules rearranged without their knowledge at the man's whim. And secondly, it shows how little they value education.

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I would not be happy if someone just up and decided that I would miss a couple of days of school without consulting me. School is expensive and if I am going to be paying all that money in tuition I want to get my money's worth. Although you can get other people's notes from classes but it is a really poor substitution for actually being there.

That whole thing made me really upset. First, it shows just how little agency women in these belief systems have to have their schedules rearranged without their knowledge at the man's whim. And secondly, it shows how little they value education.

Yeah, I'd be pissed. No one has a right to arrange time off work or school (if I were still there) for me. That's presumptuous, at best. I wouldn't want to be taken on a trip without knowing I was going and I wouldn't want my boyfriend's parents so involved in my engagement - or life.

But, I was raised differently and taught to be an independent person from birth. I'd flip my shit if some guy pulled that with me.

I am not un romantic. I am simply not interested in even the thought of someone else - and his parents for fucks sake - deciding when I skip school/work, where I go, how my future is to be.

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I would not be happy if someone just up and decided that I would miss a couple of days of school without consulting me. School is expensive and if I am going to be paying all that money in tuition I want to get my money's worth. Although you can get other people's notes from classes but it is a really poor substitution for actually being there.

That whole thing made me really upset. First, it shows just how little agency women in these belief systems have to have their schedules rearranged without their knowledge at the man's whim. And secondly, it shows how little they value education.

For real. What if Whitney had lunch plans with friends? Study group? A paper due needing library research? As much "fun" as a whisk-away surprise trip is on the surface, it's almost sinister when you unpack it. It's like he and the family are already marking their territory.

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For real. What if Whitney had lunch plans with friends? Study group? A paper due needing library research? As much "fun" as a whisk-away surprise trip is on the surface, it's almost sinister when you unpack it. It's like he and the family are already marking their territory.

Hmm, I don't know... I don't think it would bother me that much, especially for what seems like a short trip (2 days I think?). But then again I'm making the assumption that if someone were to plan that for me they would be considerate enough to creep around and find out my schedule, talk to friends, etc. to make sure I didn't have any big deadlines looming or plans and would be able to "afford" the absence. I'm also someone who does better most of the time self studying over going to lecture classes, anyway.

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I doubt Zach and the other sons get paid "real" wages. I would imagine the "family" earns and Gil controls it. They let Erin keep her piano lesson money, so I imagine the boys get something to save toward a home and to pay for car, online courses, etc, but I doubt they really have much else.

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I imagine it's kind of intoxicating for a young fundie woman to have her beau so doting and determined to make their courtship and engagement special. How does it appear in hindsight though when they're married and he may be telling her every single thing to do, and how and when, and what not to do, and he always has the final word while she keeps it sweet. I remember an episode shortly after Josh & Anna were married when Anna said that she's learning his likes and dislikes and he asked her if he has more likes or dislikes and she said he has more likes. The expression "benevolent dictatorship" comes to mind...for when it's benevolent anyway.

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I think Josh was supposed to propose outside,on the water,but a storm/rain came up.I recall him asking Mr K about where to go,and he suggested the restaurant.I think it could have been more romantic as well;they are not far from the beach.Perhaps that was tlc's idea though.

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