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Zach Bates and Whitney engaged


xReems

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There are 2 types of women in this world when it comes to marriage: Those who just look forward to the "perks" and those who truly just want the marriage and spend the rest of their life with that special someone.

I have a really good friend, whom I love to death, but she definitely wasn't ready to get married a few months back. Don't get me wrong, the wedding was beautiful and it was loads of fun but she and my best friend (now husband) have had their fair share of problems that they really needed to work out before marriage. She was about 20 when she started dating her husband and they were both planning a June 2011 wedding, just a few weeks into dating. Her husband calmed down and realized, financially, that couldn't happen. She took it very personally and she and her sister would pester him when the big day will happen. She used to tell me that if he didn't propose the end of last year, he was going to give him an ultimatum. He did propose, last March, and by the end of April, she had the date set, venue picked (in a week), dress picked (in 2 days), engagement pictures done (in a 1.5 months), etc. When we got their "Save the date", my boyfriend's BIL pointed to it and said "You know she only wants to get married because of this, right?", which is so true. Her mother asks me all the time when my boyfriend will get married, since it's been 5 1/2 years and whenever I tell her "We're just waiting until we're financially stable", she always responds with "Well if you're going to be together forever, ya'll should just get married".

I feel like some of these fundie girls have this vision of the perfect wedding day since day 1 (then again, they're taught to only be a wife and mother) and they just wait for prince charming to come so they can put that vision into reality.

Although I am happy for Zach and Whitney and Chad and Erin, sometimes I wonder just how mature they are for marriage. IMHO, I think that there needs to be a certain level of maturity when it comes to marriage and at times, I wonder just how Zach and Whitney are. Are they getting married because they really do love each other or just because they're running on the "honeymoon phase" and everything is just so giddy and flowers and sunshine? Whitney is still 19, IIRC, so she's still pretty young, so I wonder sometimes. Like I said, I'm happy for them and I know Zach deserves happiness after a failed courtship but I just hope these fundies aren't just jumping into marriage just because of the perks of getting married.

Other than that, I hope that this wedding is live streamed too. I'm guessing if Erin's isn't, it's definitely going to be on 19KC.

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I'm not surprised if they're already jumping on the registries and last names and engagements. All these fundie girls strike me as very... teenagerish when it comes to marriage. Can't wait to have his last name and pick out china, etc. I feel like they all have diaries with WO + ZB and MRS BATES!!! scribbled all over them.

Granted, I'm getting married next June and every now and then I like to practice my signature with my new last name.

Or maybe she is a huge Downton Abbey fan. ;)

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How old is Whitney? Is she even 20 yet? She looks very young. As someone said, I get the impression that she is eager to get married because it's cool to be an adult and a Mrs and fun to play home. I hope I'm wrong and they truly love each other but I wouldn't count on it. Love probably, but first high school crush kind of love.

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I agree,I don't think Whitney knows quite what she is in for,marrying into a fundie family where a large brood and where

submission to the patriarch is expected,although I think Zach will consider what she wants, to some extent.The overall theme will be the same though,imo.It's all he knows and he knows it's expected of him.Can't disappoint mom n dad.

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I'm not surprised if they're already jumping on the registries and last names and engagements. All these fundie girls strike me as very... teenagerish when it comes to marriage. Can't wait to have his last name and pick out china, etc. I feel like they all have diaries with WO + ZB and MRS BATES!!! scribbled all over them.

Granted, I'm getting married next June and every now and then I like to practice my signature with my new last name.

Maybe its because they never had a chance to have 'Mrs JTT' or 'Mrs Dicaprio' etched onto the back of their ruler with a protractor & painted onto their pencil case with whiteout?

We used to have record books (diary) inspections in junior school. I always failed due to my Leo love. :lol:

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hmm I dunno...what would Alyssa call him other than bf? they aren't engaged or courting yet..so fiancé is out.Potential suitor?

My friend? Family friend?

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New post on the blog- they are engaged- and it looks like their relationship is a bit more "hands on" than any we have seen previously. Nice to see that each child has their own personal choice.

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New post on the blog- they are engaged- and it looks like their relationship is a bit more "hands on" than any we have seen previously. Nice to see that each child has their own personal choice.

I hate that these fundy engagements seem to be a family affair. Parents do not need to tag along to watch the couple get engaged.

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Indeed, they do look very happy.

I hope Whitney was okay with the parents coming along for all of it.

I remember worrying that my fiance would tell his parents when he was going to propose and they'd know before me. As it turns out, he had the ring sent to their house, not ours. So they knew when the ring showed up, but didn't know when he'd propose.

Idk. I guess I'd have felt cheated if they were the first to know.

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Holy shit, Zach went all out for this proposal! It's nice to see that they're both more hands on, compared to when he was courting Sarah.

What worries me is just how quick this courtship and engagement is. Zach and Whit started courting July 1st, which means they had a quick 2 months courtship. They were talking about when to get engaged so early in the courtship too, which makes me think they're still in that honeymoon phase.

They do look cute together and they both do seem very happy. Plus, they don't look super awkward in their pictures. I do wish them luck!

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Wow, another engagement in the family. Not really surprised at the engagement part but am a bit surprised that the wedding is six weeks after Erin's.

Although I am happy for Zach and Whitney and Chad and Erin, sometimes I wonder just how mature they are for marriage. IMHO, I think that there needs to be a certain level of maturity when it comes to marriage and at times, I wonder just how Zach and Whitney are. Are they getting married because they really do love each other or just because they're running on the "honeymoon phase" and everything is just so giddy and flowers and sunshine? Whitney is still 19, IIRC, so she's still pretty young, so I wonder sometimes. Like I said, I'm happy for them and I know Zach deserves happiness after a failed courtship but I just hope these fundies aren't just jumping into marriage just because of the perks of getting married.

I hope Zach and Whit will be happy and do look in love (whether it's the teenage type, who knows) but I do wonder if it's all the flowers and sunshine, particularly for Whit as she's still a teenager. I know of plenty of people have gotten married at her age but with girls in the fundie world, there's always the question in my mind if it's to accomplish what they have been raised to believe is their only mission in life and they often have a fantasy of how that's going to pan out which doesn't always work out in reality. Just look at Kelly Bradrick.

I certainly hope Zach has a means of supporting her. We really don't know what he really does for a living other than help with the tree biz, he's going to College Minus and he's an unpaid elected official. Whit could be in for a rude awakening post-marriage given she's marrying into a family where the dad can't fully support his famiy (and has made a choice to do that) and has to rely on others, like his son, for financial help.

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In the comments, Kelly says that they allow an informal getting to know you period before the courtship that may be longer than the time spent courting or engaged. In other words... the Bateses date before they court.

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I wonder where Zach got the money to pay for the ring and the trip to Florida.

Not only that, it seems they drove all over the freakin' place once they got there. Flew to Orlando (central), proposed at Smyrna Dunes (Atlantic coast), and then a dolphin boat ride in Clearwater (Gulf coast).

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Kelly wrote this:

"They began courting July 1st. Our family spends a lengthy getting-to-know-ya period now, so that there’s a little more stability and certainty to move forward into courtship and engagement. So, the get-to-know-ya stage might be longer than the courtship and engagement stages. After past experiences, this works better for us because they really try to develop a strong friendship before moving forward. Then courtship, for us, is really a time to learn to share their hearts and learn to do the romantic, thoughtful gestures that say, “I love you!†And engagement comes quickly after all those “I love you’sâ€â€¦lol… for us, engagement is the wedding planning stage when they’ve already decided to pick a date and plan a wedding. This probably varies greatly from family to family. We know some families that don’t allow close relationships to form before courtship. They use the courtship as the get-to-know-ya phase. For us, that wasn’t as practical, and we see a lot of broken courtships due to lack of really knowing each other and growing as friends (through thick and thin) beforehand. Love, Kelly"

I like this family more and more (by fundy standards, at least) the more I hear about them. They are still fundy, yes, but they also seem open to changing how they do things to make the situation best for their kids.

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