Erin & Chad are offical...

[scc12]

Gil and Kelly's parental controls are strange by normal standards, but not by fundie standards. Which is, just... I can't even imagine being in my 20s and having my parents or siblings monitor my texts. I'm sure it doesn't seem as extreme if it's all you've grown up with, but still. Fundies raise their children with such strict moral guidelines, but they still don't trust them to follow these guidelines once they become adults. They're doing their children a great disservice by monitoring their every move and basically sending them the message that they can't trust themselves - and then saying, okay, now it's time to get married and go off and be responsible for your own life, be a husband/wife, run a household, raise children. It must be a shocking transition, just like going from not being allowed to kiss, to being expected to have sexual intercourse, in one night.

yes,all the emphasis on purity,as if a virgin is so Holy and so Righteous,placed up on that pedestal above everyone else...it's almost as if one should be worshipped?

And then to go from that to non-virginal...I think I would feel dirty and used,even married,if I'd been taught that.

If virgins are SO special...what's to feel special about,once that's gone?

[church_of_dog]

yes,all the emphasis on purity,as if a virgin is so Holy and so Righteous,placed up on that pedestal above everyone else...it's almost as if one should be worshipped?

And then to go from that to non-virginal...I think I would feel dirty and used,even married,if I'd been taught that.

If virgins are SO special...what's to feel special about,once that's gone?

oh, but then you're ready to begin living your true purpose in life, building an army for Dog... grr... :chi-yes:

[Sparkle]

both,but I think the dress will win out for big,with a long train and full bodice.maybe even one with a hoop underneath?

*buzzer sound* oops, that's vanity. Can't let ATI royalty show that sin of pride.

(i guess it'd be ok'd if she tried to sell it as an old fashioned, 1800's wedding)

[dramallama]

Thank you! I honestly don't get why people think Erin & Chad or Zach & Whitney will be "fundie-lite".

Wishful thinking. I agree, call me a pessimist or just a realist, but I'm not inclined to get excited about or issue congratulations about these weddings and then the inevitable pregnancies.

[fundiemental]

Erin's hair has (to me) always given her a slightly dated look. Not quite '70s, not quite '80s, but somewhere in between. I picture her in a similarly dated wedding gown.

[nelliebelle1197]

That's unfortunate. You'd think they'd include both spouses in each family photo, esp with the way they emphasize "family values"

:roll:

The Maxwells don't even consider Nathan and Christopher as part of the central family group anymore, even though they are the oldest and boys. They are relegated to "relative" status. :cray-cray:

[nelliebelle1197]

Wishful thinking. I agree, call me a pessimist or just a realist, but I'm not inclined to get excited about or issue congratulations about these weddings and then the inevitable pregnancies.

I will join you in this boat. And the extrapolations about leaving the fundamentalist flock don't ring true to me either. I just like to make fun of the inevitable odd sartorial choices and the wackadoodle ceremonies that come with and marvel YET AGAIN that these people put their lives on display like this.

[bionicmlle]

singsingsing: Funny you should mention being removed from family photo - I just noticed Amanda is not included in the header picture on Munck's Quiver anymore.

As for Erin & Chad -- Odd that a sibling is the go-between on text messages. I could see the "texting chaperone" getting odd feelings of attachment including jealousy, lust and desire for deception. Perhaps I imagine that because I am a dirty minded sex-hungry heathen.

[silverspoons]

singsingsing: Funny you should mention being removed from family photo - I just noticed Amanda is not included in the header picture on Munck's Quiver anymore.

As for Erin & Chad -- Odd that a sibling is the go-between on text messages. I could see the "texting chaperone" getting odd feelings of attachment including jealousy, lust and desire for deception. Perhaps I imagine that because I am a dirty minded sex-hungry heathen.

People asked about Amanda's absence. Mrs. Munck said that picture was taken on the annual family vacation which was taken right after the wedding. Amanda went on her honeymoon and the family went to their time share in FL(I guess they wanted to take time off from their business in one block for the wedding and family vacation). She said she hoped to take a family picture with Amanda soon but she was giving Amanda time to settle into her life. I guess we will see what the new family photo looks like. I'm sure with the new baby we will see new family photos and new photos of the Munck girls.

[sleepygirl1]

Seppi family also removes their kids.

[sunshine]

Does anyone know whether fundies have deadlines to get married? Other people may get married in 6 months to a year after engagement; if not longer if they are already living together.

[singsingsing]

Some of them seem to move from engagement to marriage so fast that if you blinked you'd miss it - like a couple months. I'm guessing that a lot of it just has to do with how quickly they can throw a wedding together, but I'm sure some take pride in bragging about their super short engagement (for some of these people it seems like the less time you had to get to know each other before marriage, the better). I think long engagements are generally frowned on... like you'd better have a really good reason if you're waiting more than six months.

[sunshine]

I am like everyone thought they would have gotten engaged later this year. I wonder if other forces were at play other than God. Just spectulation, of course, such as hormones, the concept that they said I love you prior to engagement, a grown man going to journey or Gothard re-writing a courtship book (really???) all in the 8 months of courtship, uh?

[Hisey]

Does anyone know whether fundies have deadlines to get married? Other people may get married in 6 months to a year after engagement; if not longer if they are already living together.

I remember the Bayly brothers said they gave their kids a 6-month limit on engagements. Not sure why it was any of their business. . .

[Hisey]

singsingsing: Funny you should mention being removed from family photo - I just noticed Amanda is not included in the header picture on Munck's Quiver anymore.

As for Erin & Chad -- Odd that a sibling is the go-between on text messages. I could see the "texting chaperone" getting odd feelings of attachment including jealousy, lust and desire for deception. Perhaps I imagine that because I am a dirty minded sex-hungry heathen.

And why aren't they worried that "inexperienced virgins" like Tori or Michaela are going to learn too much by reading such texts? Or that they will be too inexperienced to recognize an inappropriate text if they see one?

Basically, if Kelly is so all-fired determined to protect her kids' purity, why doesn't she make the time to read the texts herself?

[salsa]

I am like everyone thought they would have gotten engaged later this year. I wonder if other forces were at play other than God. Just spectulation, of course, such as hormones, the concept that thSey said I love you prior to engagement, a grown man going to journey or Gothard re-writing a courtship book (really???) all in the 8 months of courtship, uh?

I'm sure that in this crowd, there is pressure to go on and get married once you start courting.

In 2 days, I'll have been married 25 years. I met him in January, we got interested some time in April, were engaged in May and married in August. It can, and does, happen.

The only thing I can criticize is if they were feeling pressured to get the deed done (marriage and baybeez), and in this milieu, they were definitely indoctrinated with the idea that this is their lives' purpose. Even still it does not preclude a happy, mutually satisfying marriage, however much it is not likely to look like my own.

[Guest]

According to Kelly's comments on the blog, it looks like the wedding will be sometime in early November, and that they're going to live in Tennessee to start off so that Erin can finish college.

[Sparkle]

It's got to be a bit scary that not only are they expected to handle "adult" feelings/situations overnight, they're basically shoved out of the nest sometimes. If you're used to your parents making all of the rules and decisions-then one day, it's like you're barely related.

[FJismyheadship]

And why aren't they worried that "inexperienced virgins" like Tori or Michaela are going to learn too much by reading such texts? Or that they will be too

inexperienced to recognize an inappropriate text if they see one?

Basically, if Kelly is so all-fired determined to protect her kids' purity, why doesn't she make the time to read the texts herself?

Because if you know your siblings are reading your texts, you won't say anything inappropriate out of fear.

[Daenerys]

Does anyone know whether fundies have deadlines to get married? Other people may get married in 6 months to a year after engagement; if not longer if they are already living together.

I think they marry as soon as he is in a position to set up home and provide for her long-term. Mikaela at One Bright Corner might be extending her engagement, as her fiance had a one year law clerk job and is currently hunting for something else. If he doesn't get something, they can't set up home so they won't marry immediately (which considering they got engaged after 4 months is a very good thing IMO)

[singsingsing]

So apparently they're going to live in Tennessee to start out with, so that Erin can finish university, and also so that she won't have to go from a big house full of people to an empty house with nothing to do. She'll be able to go to classes during the day and have siblings visit. I actually don't think I've ever seen fundies take the bride's comfort into account like this.

[salex]

That's unfortunate. You'd think they'd include both spouses in each family photo, esp with the way they emphasize "family values"

:roll:

Seppis took the new family photo without Dinah at her wedding and posted it on the blog as soon as the wedding was over.

[HereticHick]

Erin always looks to me that she could be performing at the Grand Old Opry, circa 1982

[RosyDaisy]

The four oldest Duggar daughters are jealous; but unable to show their frustration and will act all sweet when asked about Erin's happy news.

I don't think they are. After spending all of these years playing mommy to their younger siblings, I don't think the Duggar ladies are reading for marriage and a dozen or more kids of their own. Although, I'm pretty sure that would probably like to meet some nice young men to date (traditional dating, not fundie courting).

[RosyDaisy]

It seems to be fundie tradition for some families that when a child gets married they are no longer considered a full part of the family as they dont live in the house. A lot of fundies dont put their married kids in the family photo anymore.

Say what now? The fundies I know proudly display pictures of their married kids and grandkids. Is this a Gothard thing or something?