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Will we ever see a Duggar daughter wedding?


jebandpunky

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I have the sinking feeling that the whole system is so "broken" (Duggar family dynamics, their famewhoring, the essential inefficacy of the SAHD/courtship model) that these gals may never marry at all, or perhaps not till they're well into their 30s, when the entire Gothard/Duggar trainwreck finally crashes and burns.

Agree. It's a hot mess. Which is why it's so fascinating.

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I dont know :(

I dont know what would be worse, them getting married to someone who treats them like a slave and having way more kids than they can handle, or them staying at home forever and ending up with the miserable future Sarah Maxwell has. Both ways seem really sad :( It would be really sad to see Jill have to give up on her plans for life, Jana stuck being miserable for her whole life with a man who treats her like her family do, Jessa, Jinger and Joy having to have large families despite not really liking kids that much and being as far from the stereotypical fundie housewife as possible....maybe it would be better if they didnt marry. Although thats now. When the show ends, life would get worse for them at home as well, and they could end up back in frumpers, not having any more vacations and having to endure the miserable humiliation of playing violin at ATI events in matching clothing at the age of 30. At least there would be less work in a few years when the youngest few girls are old enough to care for themselves and dont need a buddy. And also they wont continue the cycle and create more fundie kids to be neglected

I think the only future they have is to get the hell out of there, or marry someone who then goes fundie lite and gives them and their future kids a more normal life.

I hope if they do manage to marry, that its to someone who treats them well, like Chad treats Erin, not to someone like Michael Pearl who will enjoy torturing them and their kids and treating them as a sex toy that can cook. At least at this rate they wont end up having 19 kids and ruining their body, but a more manageable amount...and its what they really want and not something forced to a guy they dont love.

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I dont know :(

I dont know what would be worse, them getting married to someone who treats them like a slave and having way more kids than they can handle, or them staying at home forever and ending up with the miserable future Sarah Maxwell has. Both ways seem really sad :( It would be really sad to see Jill have to give up on her plans for life, Jana stuck being miserable for her whole life with a man who treats her like her family do, Jessa, Jinger and Joy having to have large families despite not really liking kids that much and being as far from the stereotypical fundie housewife as possible....maybe it would be better if they didnt marry. Although thats now. When the show ends, life would get worse for them at home as well, and they could end up back in frumpers, not having any more vacations and having to endure the miserable humiliation of playing violin at ATI events in matching clothing at the age of 30. At least there would be less work in a few years when the youngest few girls are old enough to care for themselves and dont need a buddy. And also they wont continue the cycle and create more fundie kids to be neglected

I think the only future they have is to get the hell out of there, or marry someone who then goes fundie lite and gives them and their future kids a more normal life.

I hope if they do manage to marry, that its to someone who treats them well, like Chad treats Erin, not to someone like Michael Pearl who will enjoy torturing them and their kids and treating them as a sex toy that can cook. At least at this rate they wont end up having 19 kids and ruining their body, but a more manageable amount...and its what they really want and not something forced to a guy they dont love.

Their ATI-approved options are all pretty dismal. It probably more tolerable to be a SAHD now but once the show ends, then things will more miserable, no more travel, perks, and all that went with the show. Their best bet is to get out but as I highly doubt any one of them would make a break for it, then it's to marry someone fundie-lite who honestly cares for and respects them and will give them an opportunity to experience a normal life. Even that's a gamble because they could only do courtship and they would have no way of getting to know a future husband enough before marriage. Fundie-lite suitor would probably not get the "go ahead" from JB either. However, it's possible that as the girls start hitting 30, the show most likely will be over and JB is not going to want to continue to support all those SAHDs forever. He might just cave in at that point.

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My theories for each of the older Duggar children are as follows:

Jana is beautiful and seems to love children. She is an ATI princess who is high up in Journey to the Heart and has been on many missions. She, like Priscilla Waller, would be a prize for a fundie man, and I think Boob is holding out on marrying her off until he finds someone who is likewise successful in ATI- a David Waller type.

John-David is successful, able to support a family, and hardworking, but kind of quiet and not particularly attractive. He seems like he would be attracted to someone quiet who would want to live their life away from the spotlight. As such, he probably realizes that he would be better off waiting until the show is over to pursue anyone.

Jill seems like she isn't all that interested in marriage. She has a career of sorts and probably likes the independence. Marrying, especially outside of Arkansas, would mean the end to midwifing, something she obviously has spent a lot of energy on. While I see her settling down and marrying someday, I think she's content for now.

Jessa probably wants to get out, of the house, but isn't willing to get hitched and start popping out her own quiver full of babies. Like many have said, I can see her marrying some VF prince around 23 or 24 and slowly drifting fundie lite. She's probably turning down suitors rather than Jim Bob- she seems picky.

Jinger, I can unfortunately see marrying young. She seems kind of desperate to get out of the house, and doesn't really have anything of her own going on. I cad see her settling with the first guy daddy okays, though I hope she doesn't.

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I have no doubt fundie men are pursuing Jana, Jill, Jinger, and Jess. Or at least pursuing Jim Bob. But I feel that Jim Bob is turning them away.

I think people who are less-than-fundie are pursuing the older girls and that is the problem. Probably people who are mainstream Christians who would like a fairly submissive wife. I am sure JB is hesitant to let any such men into the picture.

Fundamentalists SEEM to informally abide by a caste system/class system. It's probably okay for the girls to marry "up" but not so fine for them to marry "down". It's easy for the boys; hell, Josh lifted Anna out of the trailer park. But, what guy is really going to be higher on the scale than a Duggar girl? IICR, even Erin's senator's son (or whatever he is) is still jobless, without a home of his own. I am sure it would be intimidating for a guy to court a Duggar knowing that the best he can do is a starter home and a J-O-B with a modest income. Thus, I think the biggest obstacle from both sides is a standard of living problem that they MIGHT not even realize is informing their decisions, actions, and attitudes.

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I sometimes think that Josh may have something to do with his older siblings not getting married. He is the first born, the self-entitled prince/douche, and maybe he is closer to Jim Bob and Michelle than any of the other kids. He may have told his parents that, if the focus of the show diminishes his time and presence and leg-humpers, then that would diminish his "brand" and Josh would really leave and cleave and break up the dog and pony show forever. I suspect Josh may be keeping his siblings from getting married out of sheer greed.

But then, I hope the J'adults don't get married, because Jim Bob wants higher ratings or that they want to get out of TTH.

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Fundamentalists SEEM to informally abide by a caste system/class system. It's probably okay for the girls to marry "up" but not so fine for them to marry "down". It's easy for the boys; hell, Josh lifted Anna out of the trailer park. But, what guy is really going to be higher on the scale than a Duggar girl? IICR, even Erin's senator's son (or whatever he is) is still jobless, without a home of his own. I am sure it would be intimidating for a guy to court a Duggar knowing that the best he can do is a starter home and a J-O-B with a modest income. Thus, I think the biggest obstacle from both sides is a standard of living problem that they MIGHT not even realize is informing their decisions, actions, and attitudes.

I saw this in play even at the fundie-lite college I attended. I remember one girl who was from a prominent family within the church denomination that ran the college, wanted to marry her boyfriend who was of lesser means. They weren't allowed to become engaged until boyfriend approached the dad. Dad was in the military overseas and it was impossible for boyfriend to travel because of lack of money but dad insisted that boyfriend had to travel to see him nonetheless. It wasn't really about giving permission but dad discouraging the match because boyfriend was not of the proper class and means.

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"Fundamentalists SEEM to informally abide by a caste system/class system."

Another way they are so, so like Jesus.

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If I were a Dugger girl, I'd sign up for any missionary gig that become available.

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If I were a Dugger girl, I'd sign up for any missionary gig that become available.

I'd pick a missionary gig like Ashley Schnarr - to New Zealand.

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I can see Jinger marrying really young, maybe even the first one out of all the girls. She is now 19, my bet is she will get married before turning 22.

Jana: I can see her getting married in her late twenties like priscilla (then at least she will probably not be able to have more the 12 kids or so...)

Jessa: with her looks and her status, she would be the perfect wife for a fundie politician...senator or sth. she is ambitious and comes across as picky. at least with a husband like that she wont need to raise her kids, they'll hire nannies...

Jill: I dont know. South american (catholic!!) husband? married at 26?

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I often wonder if the Duggar girls themselves are a little hesitant to marry. They've spent years raising their siblings, and the end is kind of in sight there. Why plunge right into another possible 20 years of baby-raising? I feel like we've read other accounts from women who've escaped that lifestyle about how burnt out on child-rearing they were. And in their world, marriage equals babies. They also get to travel extensively, meet a wider range of people and have a broader range of experiences than many within their "society." Given how little control they could ultimately end up having over a husband's lifestyle choices, it might be a devil-you-know kind of situation.

I sometimes think a similar thing about the Botkin daughters. They essentially have a career, although they'd never express it that way. They travel to speaking engagements and conferences, they work on their dad's and brothers' film projects, they write books. Although it's all supposedly at the behest of fulfilling their father's mission, if it's work they enjoy why would they endanger that on a marriage that might severely limit their opportunities to continue.

Did anyone ever read Genevieve Smith who did the Issacharian Daughters newsletters? She wrote these online newsletters, was active helping her father with his homeschooling business, did a lot of writing and outreach, and then got married to a man who owned a wood-working type business. She wrote a last newsletter about turning her attention to her husband's dreams and goals and away from supporting her father's work, and then sort of disappeared. I mean, I found her writing and conclusions infuriating, but she was clearly intelligent and driven. I wonder if she misses that old work that she seemed so suited for.

Of course the irony is that all of these women might be fulfilling themselves carving out career-like situations for themselves promoting a lifestyle that limits the opportunities for other women to find that same fulfillment.

This is what I've thought too.

Jill and Jana - even though most of us don't consider their "careers" as "midwives/doulas" as real - it is very real to them, especially considering how they were raised. Probably for the first time in their lives, they were able to achieve something for themselves. They get to drive to work/training, help/observe during births, interact with people other than their family, etc. I think Jill in particular is really digging this. I know she's spoken a lot of learning Spanish too. I don't think they are anxious to get married at the drop of a hat so they can give all this up. Because then it would be back in the house all day, everyday, slaving to a husband that probably won't respect them, popping out and watching kids for the next 20 years. They won't get to do anything they are doing now.

Even though the other girls don't really have "careers" yet (I don't think?), I think they feel the same. In some ways, I think they love that J'chelle hasn't become pregnant and they definitely want to stick around while the younger ones get older to help themselves. Because that is going to be as much of a break as they are ever going to get. Getting married means, as said above, starting all over. They are staving this thing off.

I also agree a Bates/Duggar courtship with at least the older kids is unlikely. In this movement, it's not up to the girls to express interest, it's the guys. So concentrating on JD, Zach, Lawson, and Nathan...they've had many chances to make something happen and nothing has happened. Pretty sure we'll have to wait for the next bunch of kids to grow up and see if anything happens.

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I just wonder if something has gone on behind the scenes that they don't want TV viewers to know about, since we obviously all know that they have gotten better at keeping secrets about what's actually happening with the family before it's public information (Anna's pregnancy, Marcus' birth that we only found out about days later). For instance, maybe Jana fell in love with that cute Asian guy on the crew but then Boob forbid it and hence why she's always so sad. I only wish their tell-all book really told-all!

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Guys probably email JI'm Bob all the time. Do you think he responds?

Has anyone here ever tried it? To see how he responds...

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I have a feeling there will be a wedding in the works as soon as TLC cancels the show.

Also, what sacrilicious said - this could be an interesting experiment.

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While they may claim to believe in "leave and cleave" for their children they're not ready for any of their daughters to leave and cleave them.

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I think the daughters are delaying marriage as a form of family planning. They currently have plenty of money, nice clothes, get to travel and they are finally at the point where there aren't a zillion toddlers who need diaper changes, help getting dressed and watched every second. Basically they each have one pre-school age child to watch and one or two pre-teens and teens who can help out with chores. That gives them some time to do what they want to do. I think they still have to work hard - but their workload becomes much more manageable every year.

If they marry and start having babies at 20 when they are most fertile, they could easily reach double digits and possibly even have more kids than mom. If they marry in their late 20s and don't have a first baby until they are 30ish, when fertility is starting to decline they probably won't have more than 7 or 8 tops.

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I think Michelle isn't ready to raise her own kids and doesn't want to see the older girls go. Michelle actually having to parent? Now thats a sight to see

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I think it is a combination of the older daughters not wanting to get married and not being able to find a suitable person who will not only allow himself to be filmed a great deal, but also his family. It would not look good for the Duggars if they had a wedding but had to blur out the faces of all the grooms family/friends and the family refused to speak on camera. Most ATI families would not go for having their lives put on reality TV.

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I think Michelle isn't ready to raise her own kids and doesn't want to see the older girls go. Michelle actually having to parent? Now thats a sight to see

This. The daughters won't be getting married until Michelle needs no help with child care. In one episode, Jim Bob described the older daughters as Michelle's greatest achievement, and I think Mihelle gets quite the ego boost from dragging them around.

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This. The daughters won't be getting married until Michelle needs no help with child care. In one episode, Jim Bob described the older daughters as Michelle's greatest achievement, and I think Mihelle gets quite the ego boost from dragging them around.

Agree!

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I've said it before and I'll say it again. The point of Patriarchy is to be the king or even god of your own little domain on Earth. Jim Bob has several young women who literally must adore and worship him, and cater to his every whim. This is the basis of the entire set-up. No, I'm not accusing him of incest. But has quite an ego and his won't let his worshipers go as long as he can afford not to. Marrying off adoring obedient daughters is strictly for the poorer Patriarchs who can't afford to support many adults indefinitely. Jim Bob might marry them off if he ever can't afford to support them any longer, but until that point he has no reason to do it and every reason to keep them around. It's the same with most of the other rich, high-profile Patriarchs, especially Daddy Botkin (who I think is the most likely to be committing actual incest). It is simply part of the Patriarchy system, and it's a perk, not a flaw for the Patriarchs.

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I sometimes think that Josh may have something to do with his older siblings not getting married. He is the first born, the self-entitled prince/douche, and maybe he is closer to Jim Bob and Michelle than any of the other kids. He may have told his parents that, if the focus of the show diminishes his time and presence and leg-humpers, then that would diminish his "brand" and Josh would really leave and cleave and break up the dog and pony show forever. I suspect Josh may be keeping his siblings from getting married out of sheer greed.

But then, I hope the J'adults don't get married, because Jim Bob wants higher ratings or that they want to get out of TTH.[/quote

You might be right about Josh. If all the adult kids were married off atgea he was, 20, there would easily be 3, 4,5 other Granduggars by now. His family and his kids wouldn't be so specialand there would be n oVSEs about them and he would get less money.

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