My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding

[Elle]

The one think that made my blood boil is "grabbing". That's assault, and borderline sexual assault, and the bastards should be arrested for it. But I distinctly remember the dressmaker, Thelma say that it's just part of the culture and the women expect the men to dominate them! :angry-screaming:

There is a a rumor that in an upcoming episode of the British version the girl Cheyenne? who was grabbed at the wedding in the very first episode of the first season (Josie & Swanley's wedding) marries her grabber! WTH! I'd kick the SOB in the nuts!

Worse, the girls are often offended if no one finds them pretty or sexy enough to assault. :(

[ilovetchotchkes]

Dead freaking serious. $15,000 dress. Google some of them. They light them up and use yards of fabric and crystals. Man... my dress is $1,500. Guess I'm not worthy of such beauty as these irls :roll:

My inner seamstress is in the corner with a bottle of cheap wine bawling her eyes out at some of those monstrosities...

[FireIsCatching89]

Does anyone know of any place online I can watch this show? The British version is one of my guilty pleasures, and all the episodes of that one are on youtube, but the American one isn't. I don't have cable access in my dorm, unfortunately.

[geniebelle6901]

That's a $25k-question. So many of them don't have high-paying jobs or even steady work, which I think contributes to the idea that they must be doing something illegal. Because it just doesn't make sense. Yet they seem to be very wealthy.

Some travellers and gypsies are scammers and outright thieves (not all but some), that's why the grooms are never shown. At least that's the general consensus among the people who have dealt with them. This season's British version is really hinting at that, since one bride feared she couldn't get married because her fiancee could go to jail for receiving stolen property. In the last British episode the people at the Dale Farm trailer park in Essex(??) all got evicted finally & place burned to the ground. So, it seems on this season of the British version they are really pointing out the seedy side of Irish Travellers and Romani Gypsies, whereas the first season made you feel they were being discriminated against for no reason.

The one divorced Romani gypsy who had shared custody of his kids was a complete asshole, and said all kinds of crap about "gorgers" (non gypsies). I'm sitting there thinking dude, you live in a tiny camper trailer, and you expect sympathy from a judge and everyone else? Sounds like you've been in one too man fist fights and gotten knocked out if you expect sympathy and full custody just so your kids can preserve their Romani heritage. Plus, WTH did you marry a "gorger" in the first place if you think non-gypsies are so bad? Again, probably one too many knock outs from the fist fighting you were born and breed for.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I'd love to watch it but... I do not have cable TV! Is it up on the internet anywhere? Or Netflix streaming?

(Yeah, I should just look myself...)

I did quite enjoy the UK version. Found that one on YouTube.

[MrsKay]

My inner seamstress is in the corner with a bottle of cheap wine bawling her eyes out at some of those monstrosities...

[Mela99]

Worse, the girls are often offended if no one finds them pretty or sexy enough to assault. :(

[Mela99]

Does anyone know of any place online I can watch this show? The British version is one of my guilty pleasures, and all the episodes of that one are on youtube, but the American one isn't. I don't have cable access in my dorm, unfortunately.

Try sidereel.com That's usually where I go for my TV time. Or you could try Hulu Plus. I don't know if they'd have it or not, but it's worth a look.

There used to be a lot more options out there, but what with SOPA . . . .

btw, +25 for your icon.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

[geniebelle6901]

I'm re-watching the 1st episode of MBFAGW. I must have missed this part from the beginning. Shyanne just basically called non gypsy girls sluts because thy hold hands with, hug, or kiss boys before they are married! I always thought a woman/girl was called a slut because she's had numerous casual sexual encounters. I'm not saying that because I believe it, I'm saying that's what means to some people. This is one big WTF! (pun intended) :?

And that word "gorger" is basically a racial slur, and not cool. Hey gypsiesRomanichals/Romas/Romanies....if you don't like the ugly words used to describe you, then hows about you drop your own racial slurs, okay? :eusa-naughty:

[JesusFightClub]

Well, geniebelle, read the fucking thread. If you were Roma/Gypsy/Traveller, I'm sure you would feel your culture was HUGELY respected and feel thoroughly ashamed for daring to question the vast majority non Traveller culture. *headdesk*

There are big problems with their culture. There are big problems with our culture. Difference is, gypsy/travellers face an immense amount of prejudice. We need to address that or we just make them entrench themselves. If you know everyone sees you as pikey scum, what's the point ever trying to change?

[luckystone]

I haven't seen this show, but it sounds not so bad in the US (comparatively). I saw a documentary about Roma in Europe a few years ago, and the girls were all married off at 13 or 14 (and would get pregnant shortly after) and the bloody sheets from their wedding bed would be paraded through town and hung up. It was really disgusting. They interviewed a few 14 and 15 year olds married with babies and it was really awful. They also showed a wedding and apparently the couple couldn't have sex because the girl was too small, being only 13. The boy was about 15 and all his family was in the next room and he'd periodically come out and update them about how it wasn't working! In the end he tried to basically just shove it in and damaged himself too apparently so they were both bleeding and his penis got swollen. Now I think about it, it was an incredibly candid documentary, and highly traumatic viewing.

[Kishiria]

"Gorger" is an ethnic slur derived from the orginal Rom word for an outsider, which is "gadjo".

We have Romany in SoCal. My husband has dealt with them a few times in regards to Small Claims Court and caught them in the act of stealing every small thing that was around them. He threw one Kalderash family out when their son started quietly unhooking the printer.

[debrand]

Well, geniebelle, read the fucking thread. If you were Roma/Gypsy/Traveller, I'm sure you would feel your culture was HUGELY respected and feel thoroughly ashamed for daring to question the vast majority non Traveller culture. *headdesk*

There are big problems with their culture. There are big problems with our culture. Difference is, gypsy/travellers face an immense amount of prejudice. We need to address that or we just make them entrench themselves. If you know everyone sees you as pikey scum, what's the point ever trying to change?

There used to be a show in the US called the Jerry Springer show. Most of the guests had southern accents. It used to drive me batty that nonsoutherners might end up with the view that all southerners were trashy people stealing the boyfriend of their cousins who had also married their siblings. LOL Most southerners aren't crazy, I promise.

Perhaps the Travelers that they show on the show are picked because they are trashy and extreme. Crazy makes better tv viewing then a family where the parents are quietly working and trying to make a good life for their kids.

How would anyone know that an Irish Traveler was an Irish Traveler if they didn't tell anyone? It seems like it would be easy for a Traveler to escape their background because they are white and can blend into the surronding culture. In the US, most prejudice seems to be directed at the color of someone's skin so I guess it confuses me why so much prejudice would be directed at people who look like the majority.

[debrand]

Ok, I am watching the American version of the show. It appears that the American Travelers/Roma(they called themselves Roma) separate themselves on purpose to preserve their culture. There doesn't seem to be as much prejudice against them in America as in the UK. On the show, some of them lived in very nice houses and weren't living in poverty.

The opinions on virginity were horrible and angered me. Their views are no different then fundamentalists here in the states. It annoyed me when the dress maker stated that they were moral because their daughters waited to have sex until marriage. The number of partners that a person had or doesn't have is not an indication of how moral they are. Morality should be about being honest and standing up for what you consider right, not what you do with your genitals.

I still don't think that the producers pick the families who are normal members of the community.

The parents of the girl who had the birthday party didn't seem as bad to me, probably because they didn't want their daughter to get married so young. However, they still held very restrictive views on male/female roles and female sexuality. On the show, the mothers seem to have a lot more power and say then I would have thought they would in such a patriarchal society.

The young men that they show in the American version are not really the type of guys that most modern nonRoma would find attractive. It isn't that they were physically repellent but they were so obnoxious, I don't think that they would be able to attract most girls outside their own culture. That leads me to think that the show producers picked the worst examples of this culture for their show.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I'm wondering how much prejudice they experience in the US... since there don't seem to be as many, and a lot less people seem to know about them, I can't imagine it would be the same level of prejudice, simply because most people don't know they're actually there so they haven't developed a negative reputation. I hope they address that on the American version of the show. Didn't one of the American girls say she was made fun of for what she wore, but no one knew she was a gypsy.

When that girl (Shyanne?) leaned away from her husband at the alter when he was going in for their first kiss my first thought was she was going to have an unpleasant night. And it was unfair of her mother to put her in that position. When her new husband said he wanted something new not something used, I was absolutely disgusted.

I do with they'd showcase more normal families, because I think gypsys are a pretty unknown group if you're not in Europe. I found this fascinating looking documentary about Canadian gypsies (I think they call themselves Roma?) http://www.nfb.ca/film/opre_roma_gypsies_in_canada I don't know how accurate that is either, but they don't seem like trailer trash.

[Anise]

There is a lot of prejudice against Romani people, and for the record, I feel sad that this show paints a negative overall picture of Romani peoples. Romani people are discriminated against to some extent in the US, as they are often banned from entering camping grounds on the East Coast. In Europe, their treatment is far worse, and they are often seen as swindlers and thieves. Some might be, and other people might use the reputation in order to get away with crime, but any discrimination is undeserved.

By the way, former President Clinton was part Romani.

I have a smidgeon of romani blood from the old country, but I know very little of that side of my family. I had a professor who was very active with the Roma community, and that's the only reason I know anything.

[debrand]

There is a lot of prejudice against Romani people, and for the record, I feel sad that this show paints a negative overall picture of Romani peoples. Romani people are discriminated against to some extent in the US, as they are often banned from entering camping grounds on the East Coast. In Europe, their treatment is far worse, and they are often seen as swindlers and thieves. Some might be, and other people might use the reputation in order to get away with crime, but any discrimination is undeserved.

By the way, former President Clinton was part Romani.

I have a smidgeon of romani blood from the old country, but I know very little of that side of my family. I had a professor who was very active with the Roma community, and that's the only reason I know anything.

That was very interesting about Clinton.

[shesinsane]

I caught a rerun of this last night, I think it's a new series. Here's what I noticed:

- Girls must remain pure prior to marriage - an impure girl has no chance at happiness

- Boys can do whatever they want with non-gypsie girls before they settle down with a proper Gypsie bride.

- Because being a Gypsy girl implies purity, they can dress however they want. No matter how much they slut it up in apperance, their fellow Roma know them and know they are good girls.

- Other Roma's opinions of them seemed to be a huge motivator in all of their choices, how soon until they start adopting African babies as the must have accessory? ;)

I saw a Red Door commerical too, just lots of TLC cast members standing around red doors in their various enviorns, Duggars included.

[sarahbrownie]

That show angered me so much, especially at the Pastor/Reverend who married them. Who, in their right mind, marry a 17-year-old to a guy she met the month before? :x I know my friend got married that the screening was so tough that they got turned away at several churches before they found one that would marry them.

Did anyone notice how the fathers were basically missing throughout the episode? Sketchy indeed.

[Spider Burps]

There used to be a show in the US called the Jerry Springer show. Most of the guests had southern accents. It used to drive me batty that nonsoutherners might end up with the view that all southerners were trashy people stealing the boyfriend of their cousins who had also married their siblings. LOL Most southerners aren't crazy, I promise.

It still airs (on PIX11 in the NYC area, at least)! It's so trashy now that I can't even watch it without feeling like I need to shower after, but I used to watch it all the time with my friends in college. :lol: I always wonder if the people on the show are just crazy, on drugs or both?

[Chasingthedog]

How would anyone know that an Irish Traveler was an Irish Traveler if they didn't tell anyone? It seems like it would be easy for a Traveler to escape their background because they are white and can blend into the surronding culture. In the US, most prejudice seems to be directed at the color of someone's skin so I guess it confuses me why so much prejudice would be directed at people who look like the majority.

I think it's from their accent. They've said several times on the show "as soon as I open my mouth, they know we're travelers" and they have trouble booking venues for parties, weddings, etc. But in the US no one would know, really b/c there's no distinct Romany accent.

There used to be a show in the US called the Jerry Springer show. Most of the guests had southern accents. It used to drive me batty that nonsoutherners might end up with the view that all southerners were trashy people stealing the boyfriend of their cousins who had also married their siblings. LOL Most southerners aren't crazy, I promise.

My husband, who is from SoCal and from a ridiculous planned community in SoCal, really thought most Southerners were like that. I'm from Texas and had to explain that no, most people aren't like that. But a kid I went to high school with was totally on Jerry Springer. LOL

I watch both shows and it is a trainwreck. I feel so so sorry for the girls to be stuck and how their whole self-worth is wrapped up in attention from males. I know it's the same in "regular" fundie circles too. I am also appalled at how they allow such poor, shitty, dangerous, and disrespectful behavior from the boys. At least fundie boys aren't grabbing girls and cat calling.

[fluttershies]

Romani/Roma/Travellers have been considered to be thieves and otherwise discriminated against way before shows like this, this show just exploits it. Look at Europe! France, Germany and Italy all want to forcibly expel Roma from their countries, for no reason other than being Roma.

They wouldn't be so zealous about protecting their culture, negative aspects and all, if they were treated better. If they were not discriminated against they would be more likely to integrate and their culture would evolve. Anyway, criticising their fashion sense because it's 'trashy' seems incredibly classist to me - I don't see any real difference between a gypsy girl having a £25k wedding dress and a wealthy woman having a £25k designer handbag, but one is acceptable and one isn't. Yes, their culture has negative aspects but mainstream US and UK culture does too.

[bananacat]

I have to agree with the Roma on one point though: you can't tell a damn thing about someone's sex life or "purity" based on how they are dressed. Sperm causes pregnancy, not short skirts. Of all the women I've known who had unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, it has been the average ones or even the judgy ones who criticized other women for wearing revealing clothes. Putting women into "modest" clothes doesn't magically prevent them from having sex, and it doesn't magically make them use a condom when they do have sex. The shock and horror over how "kids these days" dress really annoys me.

[Anise]

They wouldn't be so zealous about protecting their culture, negative aspects and all, if they were treated better.

The European Roma also tend to keep quiet about their identity and culture for fear of Porajmos/Holocaust in which 1.5 million Roma died.

[patsymae]

Its so hard to know what is real about these cultures because they are very insular and then TLC is very good at finding and exploiting the most freakish. Gypsies--just to use an easy word--are very sophisticated about what they want to portray to the outside world in order to get people off their backs.Like "king of the gypsies"--we don't really have a king, but we'll make one up and you can deal with him while we go about our business.Irish Travellers in the United States are insular by choice, as in Murphyville, S.C. Many are con men and grifters (the guy who shows up at your house with a deal on repaving your driveway) and that makes it tough for the honest ones. Years ago they came to attention when Madelyn (I think) Toogood was arrested for hitting her child in a parking lot (Mom was shoplifting and kid made a scene); Toogood called herself a Traveller in public for the media and that was not well received.

I was surprised that the wedding in this show was officiated by a minister. From what I know, which is admittedly minimal, both Irish Travellers and Roma are devout Catholics.