Women: Don't cut your damn hair!

[Jenny]

I have waist length hair. I usually put it in a single braid or braided pigtails for the night, so it isn't too tangled in the morning. If my (non-existent) husband found the "Little House on the Prairie" look super sexy, I think it would be kind of weird.

[turquoise]

My hair is just past my shoulders because that's where I like it. Those comments by Vox and Deti make me want to shave my head.

[Kitty]

So how long would a woman's hair have to be to make her attractive? 'long' is subjective when it comes to hair, I've found. Every time I've been in a haircut place looking at the hairstyle books, the 'long' hairstyles are all about shoulder-length, sometimes a little longer, rarely past the shoulder blades. So shoulder-length hair ought to be enough, right? Or do they want hair a few inches past that? Or mid-back length? Or something like:

They really ought to make these things simple for our simple little women brains, you know. Our very livelihoods depend on being attractive to men!

[Foxxit]

I've had all lengths of hair, but most commonly have short hair, which my husband prefers. Oh it also tends to be dyed purple or some other crazy color. My husband has said her prefers me with short hair because I have a more confidant air about me with it, which he finds sexy.

[salex]

I once taught at a Christian school. I started the job with hair just past my shoulders. I have fine but thick hair and it tangles a lot. I got sick of combing out tangles and got it bobbed to chin length one spring. The entire school went mad over it. I was called to the principal's office to discuss what I had done. Some parents complained. And, my favorite, another single female colleague told me, near tears no less, that she was really sad for me that I had made this decision because it meant I would never get married.

OK, Was there something in the employee handbook about this? Because I am just amazed by this--not sure if the principal office visit or the friend in tears is more shocking. may I ask what denomination?

[turquoise]

In his latest post, Vox at alphagameplan.blogspot.com admonishes women who have the audacity to cut their hair short. How dare they ignore male preferences when it comes to female beauty.

He is angry b/c women have ignored a post he wrote two years ago stating that men think short hair is unattractive. ALL women should have long hair, according to him. If you have short hair you are obviously a rebellious feminist or a lesbian.

Vox wrote:

"It is true that Halle Berry and Charlize Theron are attractive with short hair. But what so many women fail to realize is that they are attractive IN SPITE of their short hair, and that they are even more attractive with long hair. And also, they are failing to take into account that very, very few women are as attractive as these two women who are very wealthy due to their exceptional genetic gifts."

A poster named Deti responded:

"Memo to women:

1. For the eleventy millionth time: Confidence in a woman means exactly jack-squat NOTHING to her physical and sexual attractiveness.

2. As a matter of fact, men are the sole arbiters of what is physically and sexually attractive in women.

3. Women do not get to decide what is physically and sexually attractive about them.

4. Women do not get to decide FOR MEN what men should find physically and sexually attractive."

Given how much I respect Vox and Deit's opinions, I'm going to start to grow out my hair down to my waist. How about you?

Memo to Deti:

1. Women are not under any obligation to be attractive to men.

2. Fuck off.

[Full enough quiver]

I had very long hair when I was a kid, so long I could sit on it, and so thick I couldn't get a ponytail holder around it more than one time. Then my whole family got lice. After watching my mom do my sisters' hair with the nit pick, and seeing how they cried, I took my chance. While my mom was at the store buying more shampoo, I took a pair of scissors and chopped it all off. I got a beating with dad's belt, but it was totally worth it. My husband likes my hair long, so it's now shoulder length as a compromise. Any longer, and it's just way too heavy, it gives me headaches. I have never met anyone with thicker hair than me, and it's awful.

[gezykah]

Nothing says feminine like long hair, just ask Jesus.

[VooDooChild]

Men, Don't shave your damn balls!

Manscaping should be illegal; very few men are endowed with the exceptional genetic gifts to pull off the look.

I love your avatar! Stolly Bolly, Darling?

[louisa05]

OK, Was there something in the employee handbook about this? Because I am just amazed by this--not sure if the principal office visit or the friend in tears is more shocking. may I ask what denomination?

Nothing in the handbook. I'm surprised it didn't get added, though. I was "unofficially" reprimanded thus nothing was placed in my file and there was no other record of the conversation. Ironically, the female admin doing the reprimand had short hair but this was apparently acceptable because she was already married with teenage children and past a "certain age" (which I took to mean in menopause). I was told that I needed to understand that my having suddenly cut my hair was going to cause a lot of uproar as younger women should not do so in the view of many in the school community. The hair as a woman's glory thing was thrown at me and all of that.

The school was officially "interdenominational". It had students and staff from around 40 denominations and over 70 different churches (it was in a large metro area). The dominant groups were charismatic/neo-pentecostal but there were all varieties of Fundy-lite represented as well--evangelicals of all stripes, and sometimes a hardcore fundy family or two. In general, the hardcore fundies objected to the place as girls could wear pants ( female staff/teachers could not until the late 90s except in extremely cold weather), shorts were allowed in early fall and spring, the standard Bible translation was NIV (rather than KJV), and other issues like that. I took the job as a young adult just out of college in a bad job market (positions I applied for in public schools in the region were getting 90+ resumes even in rural areas). I grew up attending Catholic schools that were positively liberal by comparison (though I was not yet Catholic. I am now). I naively expected that it would be a comparable sort of school with Protestant instead of Catholic theology. I was very very wrong.

[Syd+Marky]

My husband has been bugging me to cut my waist length hair forever.But I like it so I'll keep it-NOT because some A-hole with an opinion thinks it should be long.

[Rita]

Ok, I asked a handful of basically middle-aged Southern white men, and their answers were in agreement that women look best with shoulder-length hair or longer...

There's a lot of issues I have with these men, but not enough to keep us from being friends, as they have never quibbled over my short hair or bringing over a same sex significant other.

I look at them, and often think of how backward and offensive they are, but they have manners and can get along with anyone. It's an interesting mix, and the fundies I've seen, don't seem able to balance their inner crazy (as you do, as I do (I hope), and as the handful of men do) with getting along in the world.

This vox guy, doesn't he see the need to 'go along to get along'?

[louisa05]

I don't think it is inherently wrong for a guy to think that women look better with long hair or have any other preference. If we're honest with ourselves, we have preferences about what is and is not attractive about men, too. The problem is when men decide that they have the right to dictate that the women in their lives (wives, girlfriends, daughters usually) live by those preferences rather than making their own choices.

[DaffyDill]

I simply can't keep my hair too long as it is too, too thick. Hairdressers tell me how lucky I am...ya think? I can't do damn thing with it when it has been long as it's so heavy I get headaches, especially if it is in a ponytail or bun, or any other form of "up do".

Even when it's thinned out, the weight still drives me crazy, it hangs heavily however it wants, pulling clips, slides or whatever out as it does (something hairdressers think they can fix if they "just blowwave it like this and put some of this product" blah, blah, blah). A total WOFTAM - "waste of fucking time and money".

The time it takes to dry? OMG - way underneath can still be damp mid to late afternoon unless a good, long time is spent with a hairdryer, and I'm just not invested enough in my own appearance to spend so much time on damn hair if I can get it chopped off and make life easier. Likewise, I'm not at all invested in what some moron has proposed women should do with their hair as a result of his latest naval-gazing session.

Long hair just ain't happening here, no way, no how :)

[burntnorton]

Memo to Deti:

1. Women are not under any obligation to be attractive to men.

2. Fuck off.

Silly turquoise. Women exist primarily as receptacles for our men's sexual desires and for their babies. The cooking and cleaning is an added bonus. As such, it is our job to be attractive so we can serve our primary function.

[AVENues]

Assholes: get the hell out of my hair. And my womb. And off my egg cells. And my wardrobe.

[salex]

I was thinking this morning... this guy seems to think that the women on any of the Real housewives shows are how women should be (look at least)

I wonder what this guy looks like. He also included male income on his "acceptable/fu**able/attractive" list, so what does he earn? It strikes me if he were handsome, rich and getting laid, he'd have less time to comment on hair lenght of strangers... tis odd.

[Rowan]

I was here thinking that I was Sheldon but in reverse - that I saw sarcasm in Diti's comment (the eleventy-millionth time part set it off) but nobody else did.

Then I went and read the other comments. :pink-shock: I really love the one that claims to have long and thick hair that only takes 15 min to straighten. :angry-banghead: No, mine is really thick and just past my shoulder blades and it can take upwards of 45 min to properly straighten (hairdressers HATE me) and even then it only lasts a few hours. Therefore; ponytails. And when they get too heavy (like now), it's getting cut to just past shoulder length.

That there are so many out there that don't see the total asshattery in the dictactes of this douchecanoe makes me horrified.

[NjoyingNsanity]

I wish I could meet this asshole so I could tell him just how many fucks I give about what length he thinks my hair should be.

[canela]

I was here thinking that I was Sheldon but in reverse - that I saw sarcasm in Diti's comment (the eleventy-millionth time part set it off) but nobody else did.

Yeah, I thought the Deti comment was was brilliantly mocking the writer too. I guess that's how I first read it because I wanted to believe someone would oppose this human fecal stain. I only read a few of the comments on the actual link because I was starting to get infuriated.

So maybe this guy needs to know that his definition of "alpha male," or whatever he calls himself and his asshole followers, is extremely unattractive to many women. But that shouldn't matter, right? Who cares what the woman thinks and feels because it's all about the manly man.

Thank you jerkface. I'll gladly keep my "beta orbiter" who said, "I think your long hair is nice because that's how you wear it. Anyway, I'm more interested in what's inside of your head than in what grows out of it." I just re-read that and realized he sounds like a zombie who wants to eat my brain.

I just read his "Dating Market Value for Men" post. Really? Somehow, I simultaneously feel like This and this :angry-banghead:. So glad to know that so much of what I find attractive is the antithesis of how he views himself. No danger of me accidentally falling desparately in love with this loser. Yeesh. I guess I should wait and read the corresponding woman one for when I'm spoiling for some more 'net hate.

edited for riffle and because I don't love a zombie

[lemon]

This kind of guy is why I want to cut my hair off again. I've had my head shaved multiple times, normally wear it about an inch long, but I've been growing it out since I got bored. Now? I want to be bald, or close to it, just to piss this type of guy off.

My husband, best friend (who is a guy,) and father all prefer women with short hair. I guess they aren't manly enough?

[SquirrelySquirrel]

My daughter also has very fine, thin hair. It took her 5 years just to get the hair she has!! It looks great at shoulder length though! Curly and bouncy, adorable. :)

My daughter is the same, minus the curls. She was practically bald until she was nearly 3, and what came in looked like a mullet, even though it wasn't a mullet. I had to keep it in a ponytail or a braid for it not to look like a stringy mess. We had it cut into a bob when she was nearly 5, at her request, and I could not get over how awesome it instantly looked! She's 7 and wants to grow it out and I'll admit I'm a little nervous at how it's going to look. But it's her hair to do with as she wishes so I keep my mouth shut. It's at her shoulders now and still looks good, so I'm hoping it's thickened up a bit in the past few years.

I keep my hair long, always have, probably always will. It is fine but I have a lot of it, so it looks really full. It has nothing to do with pleasing anyone but ME. It's straight in the cold weather months because I have to blow dry it or freeze to death, and has its natural wave in the warmer months when I'm happily unshackled from the damn hair dryer and can let it air dry. I love my hair and it has nothing to do with making assholes with their "feminine ideals" happy.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Why should women have to keep their hair long to please this guy and his long hair fetish?

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I simply can't keep my hair too long as it is too, too thick. Hairdressers tell me how lucky I am...ya think? I can't do damn thing with it when it has been long as it's so heavy I get headaches, especially if it is in a ponytail or bun, or any other form of "up do".

Even when it's thinned out, the weight still drives me crazy, it hangs heavily however it wants, pulling clips, slides or whatever out as it does (something hairdressers think they can fix if they "just blowwave it like this and put some of this product" blah, blah, blah). A total WOFTAM - "waste of fucking time and money".

The time it takes to dry? OMG - way underneath can still be damp mid to late afternoon unless a good, long time is spent with a hairdryer, and I'm just not invested enough in my own appearance to spend so much time on damn hair if I can get it chopped off and make life easier. Likewise, I'm not at all invested in what some moron has proposed women should do with their hair as a result of his latest naval-gazing session.

Long hair just ain't happening here, no way, no how :)

Interesting, my hair is exactly the same way (oh, the headaches and the endless marvels of hairdressers!) but I find that getting it textured but keeping it long is the best solution. When I tried it short, it puffed up so much I looked like Bozo. :lol:

[No Cure for Stupid]

My hair usually comes to about my shoulder blades, and I usually have it layered, with the shortest layer being about chin length. My hair is really thick so I usually have it thinned, and I can't really do anything with it unless I use a shitload of bobby pins and at least an entire bottle of hairspray. I'm too lazy to bother doing that. I don't get why people spend hours frying and teasing the living daylights out of their hair.

My hair was down to my waist at one time, and people seemed awed that it was so long. I miss it being that long sometimes, but I'm way too sensitive to heat, and I can't really wear ponytails because they give me headaches. So I cut it. My choice.

My cousin, on the other hand, he makes his wife keep her hair long even though she would prefer to have it back to shoulder length. Up until recently, he also made their daughters keep long hair, too. It pisses me off. She should be able to wear her hair any way she wants.

Maybe I'm weird, maybe it's the fact that I can't really do anything with my hair, maybe it's the fact that my hair doesn't really tangle, but I honestly don't get the fixation. How strings of dead cells are a woman's "crowning glory." Can anyone explain this to me?