Desperate for validation, Kendal?

[Talitha Cumi]

Where the hell does she go all the time that she is constantly running into angry, yelling parents?

Now, I admit to having the maternal instincts of a guppy (except for feathered babies), but even I generally find cute, sweet parents and kids to smile at when out grocery shopping, or whatever. For every angry parent, I see a dozen or more going around with kiddie carts and helping the kids "help" them shop.

In my neighborhood, I always see smiling, waving moms waiting to meet their kids off the school bus, or out walking dogs together.

If you look for niceness, it's always there. It's so much harder to be always looking for the negatives. Who has the energy?

I saw the most adorable little girl grocery shopping the other day. She was maybe four, and she was "helping" push the cart and singing "la la la la" to a tune she was making up as she went along. I told Mr. Cumi about it when I got home. So cute! No screaming, no parents at their wits' end. Just a happy little girl singing.

[Turtle]

She has (only) 4 children.

Really?! I know plenty of moms with 4 kids and they don't blather on about getting strange looks or people being impressed with them, ect. From what's been quoted here, I was under the impression she had 7-9 kids.

And I remember the post discussed here awhile back about her child describing her as "angry". Does she have no self awareness whatsoever?

[latraviata]

I saw the most adorable little girl grocery shopping the other day. She was maybe four, and she was "helping" push the cart and singing "la la la la" to a tune she was making up as she went along. I told Mr. Cumi about it when I got home. So cute! No screaming, no parents at their wits' end. Just a happy little girl singing.

I love children and I like watching them. Every child 'misbehaves' now and then. Perhaps they are tired, getting the flu, bored or they have a fundie mum and lots of other reasons. Who cares? Children are children and not programmed robots. When I talk to young mothers with cute children, I tell them, if you don't want her/him anymore you can give him/her to me.

[latraviata]

Really?! I know plenty of moms with 4 kids and they don't blather on about getting strange looks or people being impressed with them, ect. From what's been quoted here, I was under the impression she had 7-9 kids.

And I remember the post discussed here awhile back about her child describing her as "angry". Does she have no self awareness whatsoever?

No, she doesn't, at all.

[JesusFightClub]

Oh, I believe that story happened. Just not like she says it did. The woman was probably staring at the children wondering why they seemed so cowed and docile at such a young age. Or, because the children were "skating their build a bears down the aisle" which, as a shopper, I would find terribly annoying and dangerous. It is often hard to see children if your cart is full and they're playing on the floor. While I don't expect children to be perfect little robots in public, I do expect their parents to keep them nearby, supervised and if possible, entertained with a book, counting game etc. If she did ask for parenting advice, it was probably out of concern for the children.

QFT. She doesn't seem to have raised them to behave appropriately in public, which is why she was getting stares. But such speshul little Christian snowflakes should be able to do whatever they want, amirite?

It comes up quite often from fundie bloggers that "People were staring at me for having such a big family in public! The worldly heathens! All the kids were doing was running up and down the aisles/restaurant! But everyone judged me for having so many babies!" Um, not why.

[FairyPrincessK]

Exactly! People don't stare and judge them because they have so many, they stare and judge them because they care for them so badly. FWIW, I consider teaching your child manners in public places and keeping them safe and occupied in public to be "caring for them". Allowing your kids to run wild in public may not be the worst form of neglect, but I also don't think its a great example of how to care for your kids.

[ndmomma]

Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on Kendal and Zsu and all the other fundies with stories about how people constantly gape and point at their big families. Four kids is, yeah, a little unusual these days. But it's hardly shocking. I have a young child and my social circle is largely people with small kids. Most of the families I know have 2-3 kids, but 4 is not that odd and I know several families with 4 kids, as well as a couple with 5. It is definitely more unusual to encounter families as large as Zsu's, but even then I think most people are polite. Sometimes I think these bloggers' social skills really suck ass, or maybe they're really insecure. I suspect they are getting just friendly, mindless chitchat, such as "Oh, 4 kids? Are they all yours?" but with no judgment implied, just people making conversation, and they are misreading the statement as being condemning of their family. I have an only child, and people also make conversation about that - "Oh, does he have any siblings?" but 90% of them don't mean any judgment, it's just an observation to start a conversation with another mom at the park or whatever.

I have four, aged 9 and under. I live in a city with an aging population and a very low birth rate. I do get comments each time I go out. Generally people are sweet, and occasionally they are rude. The same goes for my kids :doh: . My kids aren't a statement. We just like kids, but some people seem to feel that a large-ish family is either a mistake or a statement, and they find it irresistible to tell me what they think.

[ems]

In the homeschool, the primary models for effective relationships are mature adults-father, mother, grandparents, family, friends. This kind of age-integrated socialization simply does not take place in a traditional school setting, where the models are primarily other foolish, immature children where there is minimal supervision and intervention by mature adults. In the home, in contrast, social skills are constantly and consistently modeled, trained, and corrected by loving parents. Poor social skills are not allowed to become habituated, and good ones are regularly enforced.

I really don't get this. Peer pressure aside, wouldn't the model in a traditional school setting be...uhhh...the teacher maybe?

[ems]

"and that day the girls were exceptionally cute as they all had their build a bears wearing skates, skating down the isles."

Gosh, and maybe people who were trying to shop as quickly as possible and get home (you know, people with lives) weren't enamored of the self-centered, rude kids who were running down the "isles" with their build a bears?

Must be that all of the other shoppers just hate Christians.

Not running, SKATING.

Is it normal for kids to skate around in stores where she lives? Because it sounds potentially unsafe and/or disruptive, and I think I would be annoyed to encounter her as a shopper.

[B5SnowDog]

Not running, SKATING.

Is it normal for kids to skate around in stores where she lives? Because it sounds potentially unsafe and/or disruptive, and I think I would be annoyed to encounter her as a shopper.

A lot of stores have banned heelies, those sneakers with skate wheels in the heels. I hate those things.