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Desperate for validation, Kendal?


dairyfreelife

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Her latest posts seem to have the desire to somehow prove she is a holier-than-thou mother. She constantly need that affirmation that she's doing it right and better, doesn't she? It's almost sad.

When we use any other manual that is not the Word of God there will be yelling and lots of anger.

I talk to many moms who are frustrated with their children and their own parenting, and the one common denominator is that they are not practicing Biblical parenting. I find for myself, if I'm not disciplining my children according to God's Word, I'm an angry frustrated parent.

When books or people are giving us advice on child rearing which doesn't contain the Word of God, run far away from it. If it contains more psychobabble than Scripture, those books and/or people are more dangerous than helpful.

Psychobabble?

In the homeschool, the primary models for effective relationships are mature adults-father, mother, grandparents, family, friends. This kind of age-integrated socialization simply does not take place in a traditional school setting, where the models are primarily other foolish, immature children where there is minimal supervision and intervention by mature adults. In the home, in contrast, social skills are constantly and consistently modeled, trained, and corrected by loving parents. Poor social skills are not allowed to become habituated, and good ones are regularly enforced.

Translation: My children are better at socializing than the millions and millions of people who are or have been in public schools.

A week or so ago I was at Target and I saw a lady staring at me, which is nothing unusual, and that day the girls were exceptionally cute as they all had their build a bears wearing skates, skating down the isles.

Aisle, not isle, Kendal.

She was so curious about our family and how I managed to stay sane. She had one child and was going crazy. She actually wanted me to tell her exactly what the world would have said. But I didn't.

Here's why some people stare. They see a mom who isn't annoyed, mad and yelling at her children, and they see sweet, well behaved children happily bouncing along enjoying their outing.

We give our children limited amounts of exposer to the world

Exposer? I assume you mean exposure.

I often hear those that are opposed to home education refer to us as sheltering our children. Well, duh! Of course I'm trying to shelter my 5 year old from the disgusting worldliness that is out there

What disgusting worldliness will your daughter learn in kindergarten, Kendal? I had no idea that long and short vowels and 1+1=2 were so just so materialistic and disgusting.

And she's gonna post more about Biblical discipline the next few posts so she can shove that self-righteous stick even further up her ass.

thefatherknowsbest.com

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IIRC this is the same woman who cleared her schedule so she and her husband could stay home and beat their daughter until the child broke, right? Sometimes I look at my sweet little girl and just can't imagine doing that to a little one and my stomach knots up. I just can't stand her :evil:

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I don't believe that story happened. I am one of nine kids. We never had encounters like this.

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"Here's why some people stare. They see a mom who isn't annoyed, mad and yelling at her children, and they see sweet, well behaved children happily bouncing along enjoying their outing."

Kendal, get your story straight. A few months ago, you posted about your quick temper. You said that when you asked one of your girls to complete the sentence "During the day, Mommy is very ____", she said "angry." So while you might be all sunshine and light in public, no one who is paying attention to your blog will be fooled into thinking that you are some paragon of patient mothering.

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I don't believe that story happened. I am one of nine kids. We never had encounters like this.

This. I've thought this every single time I see one of the Great Mommies claiming that her brood of 14 gets compliments on every aisle they appear in.

I'm one of 8. We were decent (ish) kids, and while I do remember people staring at us at WalMart or whatever if we were all together, I always assumed there were so many of us. That and we were loud :mrgreen:

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I just read a couple of her blog posts thanks to the original poster. Oh dear gods, Kendal is really a righteous piece of work. She doesn't have too many comments on her posts either. I wonder what that's all about. I can't tell yet if I will enjoy her egoism or just be completely irritated with her but I'm guessing the latter.

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"and that day the girls were exceptionally cute as they all had their build a bears wearing skates, skating down the isles."

Gosh, and maybe people who were trying to shop as quickly as possible and get home (you know, people with lives) weren't enamored of the self-centered, rude kids who were running down the "isles" with their build a bears?

Must be that all of the other shoppers just hate Christians.

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Wonder what she would think of my "one" child with autism. Who, you know,

looks like he's misbehaving. But it's usually a sensory issue

or stimming he can't control. Perhaps she would give me

a holy waiver when she saw he was one of five kids.

Whatever.

That stuff irritates me.

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I wonder what all these fundie moms would do if their wildest dreams came true, and a dominionist government came to power (:::shudder:::). Would it still feed their egos to be fundie baby factories if everyone was doing it and they could not feel special and persecuted?

And luv2run, you bring up a really good point. They love to look down their noses at moms with "misbehaving" kids. They never stop to think that a child might have an issue - because of course, in their world, the idea that there are medical causes for behavior is a liberal conspiracy.

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Where the hell does she go all the time that she is constantly running into angry, yelling parents?

Now, I admit to having the maternal instincts of a guppy (except for feathered babies), but even I generally find cute, sweet parents and kids to smile at when out grocery shopping, or whatever. For every angry parent, I see a dozen or more going around with kiddie carts and helping the kids "help" them shop.

In my neighborhood, I always see smiling, waving moms waiting to meet their kids off the school bus, or out walking dogs together.

If you look for niceness, it's always there. It's so much harder to be always looking for the negatives. Who has the energy?

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Not only that, why is she worried about the looks on anyone else's face? My 11 year old knows better than to worry about what someone else is doing. She's so fixated on everyone else's reaction, it makes me wonder if people give her weird looks because she's the one staring them down.

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A week or so ago I was at Target and I saw a lady staring at me, which is nothing unusual, and that day the girls were exceptionally cute as they all had their build a bears wearing skates, skating down the isles.

Ummm....I would be staring at someone at Target who let multiple children skate their BABW crap down the aisles! Children running amok in stores is a big pet peeve of mine. One of my baby cousins, who, I might add, was given a $300 Blackberry for her 11th birthday, has those godforsaken Heelies shoes and always zipped around on them. I hate those stupid things! My husband constantly tells me that my knitting has turned me into an 80 year old woman in a 30-something's body! lol I am crotchety, just like my grandma. And I like to drink vodka just like her, too. :D

One time I got really twitchy at Walmart. I was there buying groceries and the horde in front of me consisted of a teenager who wanted to buy an air rifle, but he wasn't 18, so they wouldn't sell it to him. They also wouldn't let him give the money to who I am assuming was his mother for her to give to the cashier, and chaos ensued. All the while, I'm loading the empty belt with my groceries and the 8-9ish yo boy who was with them kept messing with the sensors on the belt and was manhandling my groceries! Like Walmart isn't full of enough germs. Not to mention, who lets their kid play with a conveyor belt. That kid is lucky he kept all his fingers! I remember being at Penney's as a little girl, and my mom had to hit the emergency switch on the escalator because some little girl got her hand caught in the handrail belt. *shudders*

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In the homeschool, the primary models for effective relationships are mature adults-father, mother, grandparents, family, friends. This kind of age-integrated socialization simply does not take place in a traditional school setting, where the models are primarily other foolish, immature children where there is minimal supervision and intervention by mature adults. In the home, in contrast, social skills are constantly and consistently modeled, trained, and corrected by loving parents. Poor social skills are not allowed to become habituated, and good ones are regularly enforced.

With all the odd stuff this woman asserts about schools, I sometimes I wonder if she's ever been in one. I've got five kids and even when we lived in not the best section of a large city they never were in a school with "minimal supervision and intervention by mature adults". School has always been a place for them to have social skills constantly and consistently modeled, trained and corrected. Granted their social skills weren't corrected by smacking the kids all day long - maybe that is the issue? Additionally - kids are in school just 6 hours a day. Just because kids go to school doesn't mean that parents cease interacting with them.

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"Here's why some people stare. They see a mom who isn't annoyed, mad and yelling at her children, and they see sweet, well behaved children happily bouncing along enjoying their outing."

Kendal, get your story straight. A few months ago, you posted about your quick temper. You said that when you asked one of your girls to complete the sentence "During the day, Mommy is very ____", she said "angry." So while you might be all sunshine and light in public, no one who is paying attention to your blog will be fooled into thinking that you are some paragon of patient mothering.

The usual Kendal boogers and drool.

Is this the post she is having a Zsu-ish 'Are they all yours' encounter with an old lady?

In this post she said that disciplined children are happy children. Love, structure and clarity don't equal discipline at all but believe me it works!

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I'm one of 8. We were decent (ish) kids, and while I do remember people staring at us at WalMart or whatever if we were all together, I always assumed there were so many of us. That and we were loud :mrgreen:

Ha! I only have 5 and I assume people look because they're wondering if they're all mine. Also, one of my boys is the poster child for ADHD and is often struck with the urge to do strange, impulsive things in public. And one of my other boys is essentially deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other, so I have to say everything a hundred times, loudly, to get his attention so he'll look at me to read my lips. My girls tend to argue, and the baby either laughs at everyone or makes adorable but loud sounds.

This could be why I'd rather eat my own arm than take all 5 to the store with me.

The only time someone has actually asked if they were all mine was when I also had two of my nieces with me. She asked, and then rephrased wondering if I also had more kids at home, because she was a mom of many, and wanted to ask the opposite of what people always ask her. It made me laugh. Hey, woman with 7 kids in the store? Do you have a few more lurking somewhere??

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In this post she said that disciplined children are happy children.

My kids are quite happy! That does not mean they're quiet little cherubs in a row at the store, though. :mrgreen:

Weirdly, I did not have to beat them to make them happy kids.

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She was probably staring because you and your nine children were blocking the aisle that she needed to access.

She has (only) 4 children.

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Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on Kendal and Zsu and all the other fundies with stories about how people constantly gape and point at their big families. Four kids is, yeah, a little unusual these days. But it's hardly shocking. I have a young child and my social circle is largely people with small kids. Most of the families I know have 2-3 kids, but 4 is not that odd and I know several families with 4 kids, as well as a couple with 5. It is definitely more unusual to encounter families as large as Zsu's, but even then I think most people are polite. Sometimes I think these bloggers' social skills really suck ass, or maybe they're really insecure. I suspect they are getting just friendly, mindless chitchat, such as "Oh, 4 kids? Are they all yours?" but with no judgment implied, just people making conversation, and they are misreading the statement as being condemning of their family. I have an only child, and people also make conversation about that - "Oh, does he have any siblings?" but 90% of them don't mean any judgment, it's just an observation to start a conversation with another mom at the park or whatever.

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They want to be part of the "mums of many" club and imagine they are Michelle Duggar, even if they've only got three or four kids. I'm sure Zsuzsanna only had 4 kids when she named her blog, it's got to have been around at least 5 years.

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Admittedly I'm not the most patient and tollerant person when it comes to small kids, but if 3 kids were skating their bears down a supermarket's aisle I wouldn't think them well-behaved, quite the contrary, and might shoot the mother one or two dirty looks because she was letting her kids use the store as a playground.

So maybe that's why people stared. Plus 3 kids is hardly a "full quiver".

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Oh, I believe that story happened. Just not like she says it did. The woman was probably staring at the children wondering why they seemed so cowed and docile at such a young age. Or, because the children were "skating their build a bears down the aisle" which, as a shopper, I would find terribly annoying and dangerous. It is often hard to see children if your cart is full and they're playing on the floor. While I don't expect children to be perfect little robots in public, I do expect their parents to keep them nearby, supervised and if possible, entertained with a book, counting game etc. If she did ask for parenting advice, it was probably out of concern for the children.

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I wonder what all these fundie moms would do if their wildest dreams came true, and a dominionist government came to power (:::shudder:::). Would it still feed their egos to be fundie baby factories if everyone was doing it and they could not feel special and persecuted?

They'd still find a way. They'd be the only ones TRULY following the Bible, because Mom A uses time-outs, or Mom B doesn't spank long enough, or Mom C doesn't feed her kids the food they refused the night before.

Also, they'd have the joy of reporting on their neighbors who had suspiciously spaced-out children, instead of getting pregnant six months after giving birth. Oh, it'd be fundie paradise!

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