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Letter to Kendal


latraviata

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All religion and sense of giving aside, I think it is just fucking rude to tell your family members to exclude your kids from their shopping lists on a whim.

And yeah, Kendal, you're basically telling your kids that they are morally superior to the poor (they get material gifts, her kids are Godly enough to be happy without!), which is just gross.

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All religion and sense of giving aside, I think it is just fucking rude to tell your family members to exclude your kids from their shopping lists on a whim.

And yeah, Kendal, you're basically telling your kids that they are morally superior to the poor (they get material gifts, her kids are Godly enough to be happy without!), which is just gross.

Excellent point!!

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I agree, it is religious sadism. Once again, I can only relay my own experience, but as a child we did not have Christmas. No gifts, etc. It was tough enough, but to go this far is so very unfair. At least let them get presents from their grandparents or let them have one gift. Nobody has to go overboard with Christmas and learning to give and to sacrifice is an honorable thing, but this is just cruel. They are children. They only get to be children once.

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She is a nasty piece of work to do that to her kids. It's sadistic. Really, it's flat out sadism. OK, it's religious sadism.

It's really disturbing that she seems to get so joy from doing these things. I don't get it and I really, really hope her kids don't get too badly damaged by this.

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Quote from one of Kendal's readers:

I hope my spirit in asking comes through in my printed word. If not, please seek me for clarification as I do not mean to offend in my language or curiousity at all.

You mentioned not giving your children gifts and, instead, finding a family to care for during this time of celebration. I think that's wonderful and very loving, very much showing God's love to others.

However, you also mentioned asking others to not give your children gifts, and that's where my confusion came in. If it's loving to give unto others and blesses them and you, doesn't the same hold true for others in your family's life? Isn't it wonderful to allow them that same blessing if they feel lead to give one or more of your children a special gift during this time of remembering God's eternal love for us through the birth of His Son?

I ask because I have explained to my children that not only should they be cheerful givers, they should be cheerful receivers. Without receiving you are very likely removing the blessing of giving from another person, even if it's a token item, something you don't personally desire, or the like. When I give something to my children (no matter the day), it blesses me as much as it does them, sometimes more. I don't intend for it to do that, but it does. So removing that from my life would also remove those blessings I am receiving as a giver (which is what you are receiving when you care for this family you have chosen).

Again, I am just curious as to this one small part. It is definitely your family's choice. I just appreciate and like learning about why other people do the things they do in their daily lives.

Her answer:

Our Family Is His,

Thank you for your question. I guess we don't see Christmas as the only time of the year to give our children gifts. We have 364 other days of the year to bless our children with presents. I'm not sure why all of the sudden it's detrimental to our children if for one day our focus is on something greater, much greater. My children seem to have less of an issue with this idea than many others! My family can shower them with presents any other day of the year. My mother in law loved the idea so much that she cried. She was so blessed by our new tradition that she couldn't contain her emotions. Trust me, my children are cheerful receivers! I think most children don't have an issue receiving gifts with joy.

This post wasn't meant to tell others how to celebrate Christmas. It was telling my readers how "we" were going to celebrate. There is freedom in how you choose to celebrate with your family. I look forward to surprising my children with gifts all throughout the year! Doing it on December 25 takes any surprise out of it not to mention takes much of the focus away from what the season is truly about.

She just doesn't get it, this woman is so dull and so convinced of her own right, no wonder her mother in law in began to cry, oh wait.......

Yes, definitely KenDULL.

Let me explain again, this christmas idea is a too adult concept for children. Ywo of your children are toddlers. Generosity and sharing ought to be gradually incorporated in their upbringing as it comes along. Sharing your toys to play with, sharing candy etc. To tell them shortly before christmas well, children we are going to shower a needy family with gifts and a meal and because of that you are not going to have any gifts at all, because i want you to love Jesus more than your gifts is a perfect vehicle to start to resent you and Jesus for that matter. Not at once, it will come over time, trust me. A long story short, your children are simply too young for your concept of sacrifising christmas in favour of a needy family. Some of your christian peers gave you some other very good ideas, some sensible FJers try to change your mind with some more moderate and child appropriate ideas. You are so full of yourself and so utterly stupid, my heart goes out to your children and yes they agree for now, of course, have they any choice at all?

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Quote from one of Kendal's readers:

I hope my spirit in asking comes through in my printed word. If not, please seek me for clarification as I do not mean to offend in my language or curiousity at all.

You mentioned not giving your children gifts and, instead, finding a family to care for during this time of celebration. I think that's wonderful and very loving, very much showing God's love to others.

However, you also mentioned asking others to not give your children gifts, and that's where my confusion came in. If it's loving to give unto others and blesses them and you, doesn't the same hold true for others in your family's life? Isn't it wonderful to allow them that same blessing if they feel lead to give one or more of your children a special gift during this time of remembering God's eternal love for us through the birth of His Son?

I ask because I have explained to my children that not only should they be cheerful givers, they should be cheerful receivers. Without receiving you are very likely removing the blessing of giving from another person, even if it's a token item, something you don't personally desire, or the like. When I give something to my children (no matter the day), it blesses me as much as it does them, sometimes more. I don't intend for it to do that, but it does. So removing that from my life would also remove those blessings I am receiving as a giver (which is what you are receiving when you care for this family you have chosen).

Again, I am just curious as to this one small part. It is definitely your family's choice. I just appreciate and like learning about why other people do the things they do in their daily lives.

Her answer:

Our Family Is His,

Thank you for your question. I guess we don't see Christmas as the only time of the year to give our children gifts. We have 364 other days of the year to bless our children with presents. I'm not sure why all of the sudden it's detrimental to our children if for one day our focus is on something greater, much greater. My children seem to have less of an issue with this idea than many others! My family can shower them with presents any other day of the year. My mother in law loved the idea so much that she cried. She was so blessed by our new tradition that she couldn't contain her emotions. Trust me, my children are cheerful receivers! I think most children don't have an issue receiving gifts with joy.

This post wasn't meant to tell others how to celebrate Christmas. It was telling my readers how "we" were going to celebrate. There is freedom in how you choose to celebrate with your family. I look forward to surprising my children with gifts all throughout the year! Doing it on December 25 takes any surprise out of it not to mention takes much of the focus away from what the season is truly about.

This is the dumbest thing in the world. So, from December 26th, 2012 to December 24th, 2013 her family can "shower" her kids with gifts. But woe to them if they give them a gift on December 25th, 2012? Because it's Jesus birthday and not theirs?

Ok, crazy lady. Carry on.

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This is the dumbest thing in the world. So, from December 26th, 2012 to December 24th, 2013 her family can "shower" her kids with gifts. But woe to them if they give them a gift on December 25th, 2012? Because it's Jesus birthday and not theirs?

Ok, crazy lady. Carry on.

You don't understand, this particular day gives it such a Dickensian feel......

My mother in law loved the idea so much that she cried.

If I was Kendal's mother in law, I would cry too, for an entirely different reason though

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Guest Anonymous

You don't understand, this particular day gives it such a Dickensian feel......

If I was Kendal's mother in law, I would cry too, for an entirely different reason though

I don't think she grasps that her mother in law was crying with pity for her kids. Speaking of Dickensian, I hope that the nursing home her kids eventually pick for Kendal and her husband resembles the boarding school in "Nicholas Nickleby". Extra points if the superintendent's last name is Ratched or Squeers.

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If I were the children's grandmother I would go over to Kendull's place on the 26th and give them the presents. Happy Boxing Day kiddos!

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I don't have a problem with not doing Santa and can see the materialistic argument... but young kids are going to see other kids getting gifts (whether it is at a family Christmas get together or when they go "bless" the family they adopted) and not understand why they don't get anything. Just don't expect a toddler to be grateful for what they have in that situation.

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I don't have a problem with not doing Santa and can see the materialistic argument... but young kids are going to see other kids getting gifts (whether it is at a family Christmas get together or when they go "bless" the family they adopted) and not understand why they don't get anything. Just don't expect a toddler to be grateful for what they have in that situation.

I agree, I don't get how come Fundies think that young kids know about giving & being greatful for what they have, that will come w/ time. The kids will get that idea aventually but not at the age some Kendel's kids are.

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If I were the children's grandmother I would go over to Kendull's place on the 26th and give them the presents. Happy Boxing Day kiddos!

My mother is great about respecting boundaries, but I can guarantee you that if I pulled the type of shit Kendal is up to she would laugh in my face and tell me I'd lost my damn mind if I thought she was going to stand by and watch her grandchildren be treated that way.

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My mother is great about respecting boundaries, but I can guarantee you that if I pulled the type of shit Kendal is up to she would laugh in my face and tell me I'd lost my damn mind if I thought she was going to stand by and watch her grandchildren be treated that way.

Exactly what my mother would have done and what I would do. I am waiting for grandchildren to spoil them rotten, the prerogative of grandparents. No Kendal is going to stop us!!

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If I did anything like this, my mother would show up every other day in December with presents and they wouldn't be wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper so no refusing the gifts based on them being evil Christmas presents.

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Guest Anonymous

I don't believe that K has told relatives it is only on Christmas day that they cannot give presents. I think she is now re-framing that in the light of the comments.

First off she said:

Kendal said...

Hi Keira! We have asked our family to please not give gifts to the children this year. We have a very, very small family so this was easy. And we are very blessed as our family is very supportive.

Looking forward to reading your post!!! :)

November 24, 2012 10:37 AM

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