Kendal's alternative christmas

[ILoveJellybeans]

This is what I hate about these people. They make the decisions about how they will bring their kids up based on an ideal they did not experience themselves. Steve Maxwell denies his kids amusement parks and rides because he loved them so much. This one wants to deny her kids a special magical time although she had it. I truly hope when all these fuckedbyfundieparents kids grow up they also adopt the lets bring our kids up opposite to the way I was brought up to redress the balance. Mary Maxwell will buy her kids an amusement park. Kendull's kids will celebrate Christmas and Santa 364 days of the year.

I never understood that. The adults who turned into fundies as adults but grew up normal talk about how evil and wrong normal people are-but all of their happy childhood memories are things that they are denying their children.

I can understand the other way round-someone who had a miserable childhood with boring parents who never let them do anything, making sure their kids have fun and everything they werent allowed to have.......but their childhood went perfectly well and they were happy, so why not let their kids experience that.

I hope they grow up to reject everything their parents taught and give their children the best possible life with no beatings and plenty of fun.

[rock_girl]

How vulgar. If the subject comes up in conversation there's nothing wrong with mentioning charities you support, but just to out and out promote your 'charitable' ways? Taaaaaaaaaaaaaacky.

Once again a fundie shows total disregard for politeness and good manners. Tsk tsk.

[formergothardite]

Some poor adopted child is going to come into this fucked up mess of a family. Kendal can suck the joy out of anything. I bet birthday's will go next.

[patsymae]

Forgot to add that when I worked for newspapers my least favorite people were the ones who were doing something "charitable" and insisted that the paper send a photographer and do an article about them. This would be fine for say, people having a carwash or event to raise money or a toy drive and you wanted to get the word out so others would participate, but these people would be giving somebody a blanket or turkey something and want their pictures on the front page. Happened pretty much every place I ever worked. I wouldn't be suprised at all if Kendal doesn't try to have a news crew with her when she visits her charity on some poor family.

[formergothardite]

If we had enough members in her area, it would be great if we could get her kids toys and then show up on Christmas morning to deliver them complete with a person from the newspaper so her screaming that her kids don't get toys and how dare we try and make their Christmas special would be documented.

[latraviata]

This shows again that they are going further down the road into total fundamentalism. Except from their "child-training" there were still aspects where Kendal and her family seemed to be more fundie-liteish..

And I can totally see that they have to cut off the presents due to the costs of their adoption process.

She has a special donation button on her blog, she asked complete strangers to contribute to her adoption fund. Her argument, you will help a poor orphan and do the godly thing.

So if you want to buy your ticket to heaven, you better finance Kendal's holy hobby and make her look good!!

[Guest Anonymous]

The joke will be on her when it's time for her kids to select a nursing home for her and her husband. Here's hoping that said institution turns out to be an outtake from "Nicholas Nickleby".

[Hisey]

I guess I have a different take on this. I didn't grow up with Xmas, so the idea of the kids not getting presents doesn't horrify me. My own kids are getting plenty of presents, but I don't think it hurts kids not to. Could be wrong, of course, but kids have so much and get so much nowadays, that it doesn't seem that terrible.

What DOES offend me is the idea of sweeping in on a poor family's Xmas and delivering toys and food like Lady Bountiful. I live in a city with a tremendous amount of poverty, and there are many opportunties to give and help. I'm involved in one of these projects for this Xmas season. It involves giving food and clothing to desperately poor families in our city.

However, this stuff is not delivered from one family to another with the rich kids watching the poor kids get their toys. No, it is done discreetly, with the idea that the "poor" family is entitled to dignity and pride. The "givers" do not enter the homes of the needy and distribute things like a queen. Instead, they "adopt "a child or a family and provide the things that person(s) need. Then it is delivered by a third party.

Where did Kendall find this family that is willing to have her sweep in with a Christmas turkey? And is she really so naive as to think it will all work out like it did in Little Women?

In reality, giving from rich to poor is a complex thing, involving feelings of pride, shame, embarrassment, as well as gratitude and joy. Sometimes the "poor" are downright ungrateful or rude. Sometimes the "rich" are santimonious or insensitive.. Sometimes the "poor" forget to be at home when the givers arrive. Sometimes the "rich" give away old, stained clothing and broken appliances. Sometimes the "poor" children complain that they did not get exactly what they wanted (just as richer kids do). It rarely works out like it does in a Christmas story.

[DarkAnts]

People like Kendal and Steve must be very insecure about their person salvation. It seems that the lest secure people are the ones who ware the most extreme in announcing to the world their worth.

[Mommy22alyns]

She's obviously never read this bit of the Bible.

:clap:

[Jana814]

I never understood that. The adults who turned into fundies as adults but grew up normal talk about how evil and wrong normal people are-but all of their happy childhood memories are things that they are denying their children.

I can understand the other way round-someone who had a miserable childhood with boring parents who never let them do anything, making sure their kids have fun and everything they werent allowed to have.......but their childhood went perfectly well and they were happy, so why not let their kids experience that.

I hope they grow up to reject everything their parents taught and give their children the best possible life with no beatings and plenty of fun.

I don't get these types of things either. If you had this growning up one would think that u would want to pass it onto your children and allow them it enjoy as much as you did. If you did not have any of these things growing one would think that if you were able to provide these kinds of things then it would be of giving your kids something that you did not have or get to do.

I know a couple (lesbians) one of them is the niece of my mother’s best friend. Her partner was raised as a VERY religious Jew, where she was not allowed to do a lot of things that most kids get to do like swimming, going to amusing parks, etc. Because of this when they take their kids to these places the former religious Jewish woman looks like she is having more fun then the kids, they just went to the crayon factory and in the pictures she posted on facebook it look like her partner was having more fun then the kids. In a alot of was she getting to relive the childhood she never had. I really hope either Kendul or the Maxwell kids wake up one day and realize that the way they were raised is NOT how they want to raise their kids.

[emmiedahl]

If these children were generally spoiled, this would not be a big deal. I imagine they are a lot like my family and most large families, where birthdays and holidays are the only time you actually get exactly what you want and not what is available at a thrift store on half-off day or handed down from a more privileged friend or relative. Kendal talks a lot about what a bitch she is to her children, so I suspect their everyday existence is pretty bare and that holidays are a big fucking deal. And didn't they lose their home in a tornado this year?

I do very minimalist Christmas and Hanukkah but the kids still get presents. And they adore them! It is so exciting to see them shake their gift and speculate about what is in it, then carefully take the wrapping off and see what it is. It is guaranteed to not be an iPod or similar, but the mere act of opening a present is very exciting for a child. I remember my mother send us out of the room and then put blue and silver glitter on the table and a wrapped gift on each child's plate. Holidays are something most children look forward to; it is their day to be special and spoiled. It is just mean to take that away to prove a point.

[latraviata]

I guess I have a different take on this. I didn't grow up with Xmas, so the idea of the kids not getting presents doesn't horrify me. My own kids are getting plenty of presents, but I don't think it hurts kids not to. Could be wrong, of course, but kids have so much and get so much nowadays, that it doesn't seem that terrible.

What DOES offend me is the idea of sweeping in on a poor family's Xmas and delivering toys and food like Lady Bountiful. I live in a city with a tremendous amount of poverty, and there are many opportunties to give and help. I'm involved in one of these projects for this Xmas season. It involves giving food and clothing to desperately poor families in our city.

However, this stuff is not delivered from one family to another with the rich kids watching the poor kids get their toys. No, it is done discreetly, with the idea that the "poor" family is entitled to dignity and pride. The "givers" do not enter the homes of the needy and distribute things like a queen. Instead, they "adopt "a child or a family and provide the things that person(s) need. Then it is delivered by a third party.

Where did Kendall find this family that is willing to have her sweep in with a Christmas turkey? And is she really so naive as to think it will all work out like it did in Little Women?

In reality, giving from rich to poor is a complex thing, involving feelings of pride, shame, embarrassment, as well as gratitude and joy. Sometimes the "poor" are downright ungrateful or rude. Sometimes the "rich" are santimonious or insensitive.. Sometimes the "poor" forget to be at home when the givers arrive. Sometimes the "rich" give away old, stained clothing and broken appliances. Sometimes the "poor" children complain that they did not get exactly what they wanted (just as richer kids do). It rarely works out like it does in a Christmas story.

You paint a very adequate and realistic picture here. Like you, I wondered how she was going to chose a needy family and how she was going to present herself and her family and with what message?

It is obvious this woman doesn't think, she lacks the intelligence to begin with and she has the empathic ability and discretion of a doorknob.

I am afraid she has this romantic scenario in mind of hungry, meager children, a crying desperate, exhausted mother, the father barefoot, out in the freezing cold begging for alms. Christmas bells ringing and suddenly here is Kendal in the radiant light of holy goodness, bringing presents and a lavish meal.........etc....

:violin: :violin: :violin: :violin:

[JesusFightClub]

We love you anyway :violin: :violin:

No, you don't :lol:

I was just trying not to sound like a boring twat, which I am skilled at doing. No tiny violins required, though they are indeed very cute.

[lilith]

No, you don't :lol:

I was just trying not to sound like a boring twat, which I am skilled at doing. No tiny violins required, though they are indeed very cute.

I can honestly say you are the least boring communist I have encountered on the Internet. I love hearing your take on things, please don't self censor.

[latraviata]

I can honestly say you are the least boring communist I have encountered on the Internet. I love hearing your take on things, please don't self censor.

This!!!

[formergothardite]

You paint a very adequate and realistic picture here. Like you, I wondered how she was going to chose a needy family and how she was going to present herself and her family and with what message?

It is obvious this woman doesn't think, she lacks the intelligence to begin with and she has the empathic ability and discretion of a doorknob.

I am afraid she has this romantic scenario in mind of hungry, meager children, a crying desperate, exhausted mother, the father barefoot, out in the freezing cold begging for alms. Christmas bells ringing and suddenly here is Kendal in the radiant light of holy goodness, bringing presents and a lavish meal.........etc.... :violin: :violin: :violin: :violin:

Pretty sure that is exactly how she is visions this whole thing taking place. This will be all about her and less about the people she is actually supposed to be helping.

[LilMissMetaphor]

http://www.vitafamiliae.com/christmas-vs-christmastime/

LoraLynn doesn't do Christmas, either. I thought I remembered her posting this last year. I wonder if she'll have something similar this year.

[Maggie Mae]

I really dislike that she told extended family to not buy gifts either. Some people like giving gifts. Why not just ask for a family gift or, i don't know, be gracious that people like you enough to buy stuff for you and your children? How do you even ask someone not to buy gifts for you? Asking them not to give gifts sounds, to me, like you had an expectation that they would buy/make a gift in a first place. And expecting gifts is very Dudley Dursleyish.

[slickcat79]

http://www.vitafamiliae.com/christmas-vs-christmastime/

LoraLynn doesn't do Christmas, either. I thought I remembered her posting this last year. I wonder if she'll have something similar this year.

You know, I never thought I'd say it, but I can give LL a little bit of credit for that, at least in comparison with Kendal:

1. They make a BIG deal out of birthdays, so at least the kids get some special presents and personal attention at other times.

2. She does mention giving money to charity, but she's not going out, buying gifts, and personally rubbing them in the face of a poor family.

3. She doesn't restrict other family members or friends from giving gifts to the kids or the family.

Of course, for LL, I'm sure the motivation stems from being just too tired to bother or some shit. I mean, kids are hard work, and all that buying, wrapping, decorating, cleaning, etc. is too much for a QF mom :roll: And of course, for them it has to be either-or, as well. No possible way the kids could understand the REAL meaning of christmas and still get gifts or anything.

[snarkykitty]

She's obviously never read this bit of the Bible.

THANK YOU. There is someone in my life who goes out of her way to help others, but she also goes out of her way to make sure everyone knows everything she does. Her Facebook updates will often contain lists of everything she'd done for others in the past day or two, and when people comment on how generous or kind she is, she'll post something like "oh, it's just what we do".

Such posts are so self-congratulatory that it makes me sick. I often think of this scripture when I read them.

[snarkykitty]

Not to mention, her telling others not give gifts to her children is robbing others the joy of gift giving, which is not her right. I love picking out and/or making gifts, and I think very carefully about what might delight the recipients.

Even a small gesture like a Christmas card and a treat like a candy cane or a marshmallow Santa - which was what we used to do in High School for our "periphery" friends (with our close group of friends, we did "secret Santa") - is such fun to give. It's why I love sending out cards, especially because I get to write a personal note inside.

She's so evil to take that joy away from others.

[Burris]

She is such a wanker. I think this article would be of more use to those who wish to teach their kids about giving.

[Sola]

I left a polite comment saying that it might be better to quietly give the family the money instead so they could be the heroes for their kids. She didn't let it through. Which proves its all about Kendall and not about helping the family.

[latraviata]

I left a polite comment saying that it might be better to quietly give the family the money instead so they could be the heroes for their kids. She didn't let it through. Which proves its all about Kendall and not about helping the family.

I left so many 'polite' comments she never lets them through, so I started emailing her, on her facebook page. Initially after a few comments I don't have access anymore to the comments.

So I started sending her FB messages.