Reason for the Duggar daughters not courting

[Elle]

Hands down, no doubt it's because JB and M want to keep the free labor. Courting would require effort on the part of JB, and who wants to put in the effort to lose free labor? From this comes the unlikelihood of the girls having the chance to meet anyone.

It would be easier to overlook a boy courting because they can get out of the house and out from under the thumb of domestic labor.

I do think Bananacat has a good point too. They very well could be afraid also of losing power because there really is a lot of abuse in fundie families, and the girls, while being cheated of opportunity, aren't suffering beatings. Their standing is already precarious with a lot of other fundy families not being fans because of how "liberal" the Duggars are, so if they took back a daughter who was running away from an abusive marriage, that could tear all of them down and ruin prospects for the rest, unless they turned that daughter away. Basically they made a no-win situation for themselves.

[HowRude]

Maybe they want an escape but in all seriousness what if they're not ready yet. It can be scary from a fundy girl since the father and the home is their protection. Plus it is a lot of pressure to go from something that you're so familiar with to something you don't know at all. They are familiar to taking care of the younger kids and have relationships with them not to mention moving away from all of your sisters. For example when my cousin moved away to college her sister cried and she has outside world friends, the Duggar sisters on the other hand really don't have friends like that they have house guests over for fellowship. Then in courtship you don't have much room to get to know someone after all engagement goes pretty quickly and there is always a chaperone.

Even if they were ready they would have to wait to be courted since they can't initiate a relationship. Also Jim Bob would have to approve of the guy or pick him out depending on the degree of patriarchy and thats complicated in itself. Either daddy has to look for perfect guys for four girls in a row or guys have come to the house but in the wrong order like maybe they wanted Jessa instead of Jana. Maybe they know that they will have to trust God with planning the size of their family and wants to get married later to have less children. They could also not be seen as being fundie enough for being on the ebil television.Who knows?

[lizzielouwho]

I think that for at least a couple of the Duggar girls, if not all, they may not want to court and get married. They are celebrities in the fundie world and beyond. They get to travel around and do things that a young married fundie girl is not going to get to do. They may be afraid that if they get married their new headship will keep them home and pregnant. I think this is the reason some of the other girls who are fundie famous may not be courting and getting married as well. Elizabeth Botkin and Erin Bates come to mind.

[mythoughtis]

I have not seen anything that Jana is or is not a lesbian.... so therefore I'll assume she is not.

I think that the girls are not courting for several reasons

1. It's pretty difficult for some young uneducated shy boy-man to just walk up to Mr. Duggar and ask to court his daughter, Jim Bob being fundie royalty and all.

2. It's pretty difficult for said young boy-man to even have met the Duggars in more than passing, so how would he know he wanted to 'promise' to marry one of daughters. Anna and Josh met a couple years before they got engaged.

3. It's pretty difficult for said young boy-man to have the neccessary financial stability to meet the fundie requirements for marriage. The Duggars are actually pretty well off in fundie-land.

4. Jim Bob and Michelle don't want to give up their slave labor... which they will have to if the girls get married due to their public comments about how the girls follow their husband. number of washing machines, etc doesn't come into it because the girls won't need a second one for a number of years.

5. Since the girls have never gone to a public school, or been out of each other's sight practically, the prospect of moving out of that house and out of town probably is really terrifying for them.

5.

[Muffy]

In my view, the courtship process sets up a world where almost all the decent, semi-normal, and accomplished guys will end up empowered enough to find a wife in the regular way. Rather than having to jump through all of Daddy's hoops, an empowered guy will meet someone and pretty much know ahead of time that she likes him and that (because of his status) he will be an approved suitor. (Consider Josh Duggar. Was there ever a question in his mind that Anna's parents would turn him - a fundie celebrity - away? Or that Anna wasn't already really into the idea of being courted by him?)

Because the self-assured and financially stable guys don't need to work so hard and submit themselves to a girl's Daddy in order to obtain a wife, the pool of potential courters (guys who WOULD be willing to denigrate themselves like that) for the Duggar girls is much smaller...and comprised of guys who would represent a step down, status-wise, for any of them.

It's a double-bind. Any guy desperate enough to put himself out there as a potential suitor is not going to be good enough.

[tabitha2]

Their are a lot more fish in the AT/VF sea than these girls.They are just average or a little above in the looks department,Jessa and Jinger can't cook,sew and barely tolerate children,Jana only seems to cook prepacked foods and is rather dull to boot.Jill may be alright but I can almost guarantee the families of the young men they would normally be courting are not happy about the liberalizing of the family,esp the girls in the last few years and would not allow a courting.Why would a young guy want such hassle when lovely Bathsheba picketing at the abortion clinic down the road can cook a four course meal from scratch while happily entertaining 7 younger siblings and patching dads drawers at the same time?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Jessa and Jinger can't cook,sew and barely tolerate children,Jana only seems to cook prepacked foods and is rather dull to boot.

I'm sure there are guys who prefer "bedtime" to dinner time and would be willing to ignore the cooking and stuff. After all in 5 years, if God willing! the first kid is a girl, Jessa/Jinger won't have to do anything anymore except go to bed with Papa.

[xDreamerx]

That sounded really wrong (or did you mean it to?)

[loveandwar]

I'm going to be really non-snarky and say that maybe they haven't met the right guys yet...*hides*

In all probability though it's likely a combination of most of those factors, especially the fact that the need the girls around the house to raise the rest of the kids.

This! It's hard for me to find a guy, and I'm a mainstream Christian who lives, works, and goes to college in the "real world". Can you imagine how much harder it is for a Duggar girl, who isn't allowed to do half of what I'm doing? And on top of that, they push "courtship" over dating.

[AlexIsAwake]

I'm in the same boat with loveandwar. It's VERY hard to find a decent Christian guy out there for the mainstreamers, so I'm pretty sure there hasn't been much opportunity for the Duggar girls yet, especially since they have to just sit and wait for it to happen to them. I agree also with some of you who have said that they are so close to their family, the thought of moving away is probably very scary. They may know a lot of other families through ATI, but most of them probably live in other states. It's likely that courting means leaving behind their family and all they know. The sisters are all best friends with each other. Thinking back to when I was 18, 19, 20-ish, friends were everything, let alone family.

Also, their personalities could be a factor as well. Poor Jana does seem somewhat troubled (after all, there has to be some reason why she was sent to yet another Journey to the Heart retreat) and very backwards - painfully shy and quiet. I see her mainly trying to fade into the background, so how likely are you to attract a suitor that way? Jill is most personable of the older girls. She does seem to have a fun, sweet, outgoing personality. But she seems so devoted to her family and caring for some of the younger ones (being Jennifer's mom), that again, there probably wouldn't be much opportunity for her to get to know a guy her age. Moving on to Jessa - well, it's a shame because I think she is the most attractive of the girls, but it seems like she knows it and is a total snob. That's the impression I get from her. A standoffish little snot. Sorry, Jessa. She may feel she is too good for anyone (that's the impression I get from those awful Botkin girls, too). Jinger seems to follow Jessa's lead as far as being standoffish and a little snobbish. I used to get a kick out of Jinger, and I still love her quirkiness....but she's not as fun as she used to be.

And that's my 2 cents.