Allume

[sableduck]

The new thing appears to be husbands posting on their wife's blog about how they've seen Allume change her. It seems to be some sort of drawing or contest entry.

Every single one I have read referrs to the wife/blogger discovering blogging as a creative outlet or ministry while still "keeping her primary role as wife and mom."

This makes me irrationally angry.

And thankful that even though I know many of these women personally through my husband(who grew up in fundieville), he encouraged me to go back to work full time when we both saw that I wasn't happy with wifehood/motherhood being my primary role.

As I said, Allume and this current round of blogposts just makes me irrationally angry.

[Deleted03]

does it mean something in English? can you link to one blog? or to what that is?

[sableduck]

We've talked about it before on here. Gretchenlouise.com of ylfc is the first that comes to mind.

[wtylcf]

Merritt just wrote a post about how he's going to be eating corn dogs until Gretchen's return. Hopefully the three little ones get something more nutritionally balanced! He said some nice things about how her absence makes them all appreciate her more, but really emphasized her indispensable role as a wife and mother. I found it quite depressing, although it was supposed to be light hearted.

[Curly Girl]

Merritt just wrote a post about how he's going to be eating corn dogs until Gretchen's return. Hopefully the three little ones get something more nutritionally balanced! He said some nice things about how her absence makes them all appreciate her more, but really emphasized her indispensable role as a wife and mother. I found it quite depressing, although it was supposed to be light hearted.

Merritt's post sounded like a passive-aggressive guilt trip, not a "I am so proud of my wife" post. He sounded like he couldn't survive without her, not like he was ready for the challenge of caring for his own children! Really, preparing half way decent meals isn't that hard (I'm thinking of something like sausage, rice or potatoes and cooked frozen veggies). He doesn't have to make a 7 course feast!

I just went to a conference for work in DC (I live in Canada) and my husband was proud of me for all of the networking I did and was happy to stay with our toddler for the 4 days I was gone (he was in daycare during the days though).

[grovelina]

He just wants a big pat on the back for "allowing" his wife to forgo her womanly duties for a silly conference and a bigger pat on the back for having to do some housekeeping chores instead of outsourcing them to the nearest female capable of taking them on.

[wtylcf]

He just wants a big pat on the back for "allowing" his wife to forgo her womanly duties for a silly conference and a bigger pat on the back for having to do some housekeeping chores instead of outsourcing them to the nearest female capable of taking them on.

Yes, I think you're right on. I want to give him credit for noticing that the conference mentally refreshes Gretchen and for acknowledging her mental life is in some way important. But still - the tenor of the post was "I can't wait for her to come back because like any good Christian man, I suck at domestic tasks and I miss her household labor." It just doesn't cheer me up to think of someone missing me as a housemaid instead of an equal partner. I know they are all for the awesomeness of biblical gender roles and love that stuff; to me it just seems like pigeonholing women as uniquely suited for the depressing drudgery of domestic chores, and then keeping then down by saying it's their godly role and they should be totally content in it. I would go nuts if I had to do all the chores around the house, and I'm glad my guy is adept around the kitchen.

[snarkbillie]

How do you even say this word? I keep reading it as "all you me", but I think that's probably wrong.

[wtylcf]

Merritt's post sounded like a passive-aggressive guilt trip, not a "I am so proud of my wife" post. He sounded like he couldn't survive without her, not like he was ready for the challenge of caring for his own children! Really, preparing half way decent meals isn't that hard (I'm thinking of something like sausage, rice or potatoes and cooked frozen veggies). He doesn't have to make a 7 course feast!

I just went to a conference for work in DC (I live in Canada) and my husband was proud of me for all of the networking I did and was happy to stay with our toddler for the 4 days I was gone (he was in daycare during the days though).

Ha, I'm glad your husband is the kind of guy who can (gasp) provide child care in your absence and manage to feed himself as well. I didn't see the post as passive aggressive at first, but I get what you mean. Of course it would make Gretchen feel guilty about abandoning her wifely role for a few days to read what he wrote. But I'm sure in his mind he's like, "well, she should feel guilty, come to think of it, because she is abandoning her role, and I'm awesome for picking up her slack." It's a godly guilt trip!

[Curly Girl]

How do you even say this word? I keep reading it as "all you me", but I think that's probably wrong.

I think of it as sounding a bit like the start of aluminum. However, your guess on the pronunciation is as good as mine. :S

[Curly Girl]

Ha, I'm glad your husband is the kind of guy who can (gasp) provide child care in your absence and manage to feed himself as well. I didn't see the post as passive aggressive at first, but I get what you mean. Of course it would make Gretchen feel guilty about abandoning her wifely role for a few days to read what he wrote. But I'm sure in his mind he's like, "well, she should feel guilty, come to think of it, because she is abandoning her role, and I'm awesome for picking up her slack." It's a godly guilt trip!

Yes, my husband rocks! :dance:

I agree with you about Merritt's post. I didn't see it as passive aggressive the first time I saw it, but this thread moved me to re-read it and that's when the passive aggressiveness hit me.

The idea of the post as a godly guilt trip is 100% true!

Trina's husband's post was a lot more appropriate, in my opinion. Jeremy seems genuinely proud of his wife and how she has changed for the better because of blogging.

trinaholden.com/2012/10/jeremy-hacking/

[Gypsy]

I looked over Trina's blog and I like her. She seems pretty grounded and sweet, and I like the way she talked to her little boy in the video about her cookbook.

[sableduck]

Trina has cute kids. She believes in spacing them, though she would like a whole bunch. She isn't quiverfull, and even though she met her husband through a form of courtship, she no longer believes in it.

But she has a very weak grasp of science...though I blame Gothard's wisdom booklets, not her. And I wish she would speak out more about how her parent's choice to retreat deep into isolationist fundieism, complete with moving to a tipi in the middle of nowhere, has greatly contributed to her struggle with anxiety and panic attacks. She alludes to it, but hasn't come right out and said it--probably because, I suspect, she has a somewhat strained relationship with her family.

[Gypsy]

After reading over the part about the parents I agree. As far as her anxiety goes, I don't believe one can simply "pray away" their mental issues, but I do believe that health and nutrition are big factors in helping the symptoms of some of these issues. I am bipolar, and I know that when I cut down on processed foods and keep myself in better health my anxiety and depression improve greatly and I am less likely to be irritable as a result. I personally feel that I need medicine, but if she's managing alright with what she has going on then thats great. She doesn't force the ideal on others at least, which I highly respect given the "Just get over it/You just need to TRUST GOD" kinda talks I've gotten before on the matter.

[Curly Girl]

After reading over the part about the parents I agree. As far as her anxiety goes, I don't believe one can simply "pray away" their mental issues, but I do believe that health and nutrition are big factors in helping the symptoms of some of these issues. I am bipolar, and I know that when I cut down on processed foods and keep myself in better health my anxiety and depression improve greatly and I am less likely to be irritable as a result. I personally feel that I need medicine, but if she's managing alright with what she has going on then thats great. She doesn't force the ideal on others at least, which I highly respect given the "Just get over it/You just need to TRUST GOD" kinda talks I've gotten before on the matter.

QFT.

You said what I wanted to say, only much better.

[mangoshake]

Gretchen isn't faring any better. Notice her blog post right before she goes on this trip. She elaborates how she will DEARLY miss her husband and toddler and how she has NEVER been away from her husband and children but ONCE and how she will ONLY think of her family while at said blogging conference. :roll: No mention of excitement about possible opportunities that may open up for her, or the networking she will be able to, or the people she will be able to meet.

It's like she must belittle this conference under a facade of guilt and shame that she is stepping away from her role as her husbands helpmeet. I couldn't be more sickened.

[grovelina]

Gretchen isn't faring any better. Notice her blog post right before she goes on this trip. She elaborates how she will DEARLY miss her husband and toddler and how she has NEVER been away from her husband and children but ONCE and how she will ONLY think of her family while at said blogging conference. :roll: No mention of excitement about possible opportunities that may open up for her, or the networking she will be able to, or the people she will be able to meet.

It's like she must belittle this conference under a facade of guilt and shame that she is stepping away from her role as her husbands helpmeet. I couldn't be more sickened.

I think she is doing this sort of thing because it is what is expected of her as a fundie mom. Like you said, she is playing a role and if she let even an inkling of excitement show on her blog, her audience would think ill of her and try to guilt her for not feeling guilty. She must have a little excitement about going, or why do it? Of course she is going to feel some guilt and of course she will think before hand all she will do is think of her children. She is stepping away from all she has known and all that has been expected of her all her life. For her to do something on her own and something for her own development as a person is HUGE. She is going to come into it with mixed emotions. I think and hope though, that once she gets to the conference, she will enjoy herself and not be paralyzed by guilt.

[Burris]

Here's the web page for the Allume conference: allume.com

There are three women standing together for the front photo-shoot. Anyone else think the one on the right looks like she saw the "The Ring" video and keeled over from fright?

[Curly Girl]

Elizabeth Esther just posted about Allume: elizabethesther.com/2012/10/a-lovable-feast-or-what-i-learned-at-allume.html

To me, her post seems like "Guys, I flew all the way across the country and I discovered that people who aren't exactly like me are human too! Isn't that exciting? Maybe we can all play together?"

Allume seems like Grade 8 all over again, but for grown women.

[Cannelle]

Merritt just wrote a post about how he's going to be eating corn dogs until Gretchen's return. Hopefully the three little ones get something more nutritionally balanced!

I sincerely hope he was joking, because there is no end to my loathing for these asshole men who somehow can't figure out food preparation. "Derp derp derp cooking with a penis is hard." Give me a fucking break. If you can read, you can sure as shit follow a fucking recipe. Stop using that Y chromosome as the excuse you can't operate a kitchen, jackass.

[ILoveJellybeans]

"Derp derp derp cooking with a penis is hard."

I had a really hilarious dirty thought, and imagined a naked man, in a kitchen cooking, but his penis is holding a spoon and stirring some ingredients in a bowl instead of his hands.

[Funtimental]

Elizabeth Esther just posted about Allume: elizabethesther.com/2012/10/a-lovable-feast-or-what-i-learned-at-allume.html

Elizabeth's subtitle on her blog is "I use my words"; that sounds to me like something a two year old would say.

I'm surprised we haven't heard more about the conference from various bloggers.

[Curly Girl]

Elizabeth's subtitle on her blog is "I use my words"; that sounds to me like something a two year old would say.

I'm surprised we haven't heard more about the conference from various bloggers.

I agree. At the tech conferences I go to, twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere are usually hoping. There has been virtually nothing for this conference, which is supposedly about social media. :S

[MonkeyMomma]

I agree. At the tech conferences I go to, twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere are usually hoping. There has been virtually nothing for this conference, which is supposedly about social media. :S

Search Twitter for #allume - there's definitely activity, but nothing that seems to be of much substance that I've found yet.

[rock_girl]

What a sad man. I just looked up corndogs and was like... you keep these in the house? For me they are strictly Easter Show food. And are promptly thrown up after the first ride anyway so, you know, it's a temporary stay in my stomach.

I've said it in another thread, but how hard is meat, starch and veg? You season your chicken legs, bake them, and while that's happening, steam potatoes and broccoli. Easy and very kid friendly. These people really don't care much for their kids, do they?