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The rebranding of YLCF's Gretchen as “Gretchen Louise�


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There's a reason she's putting such an effort into rebranding, and I don't think it's that she's got an excess amount of time with the three little kids and the farm and the in-laws store. I think she, like so many of the other stay-at-home wives and mothers, may have had a cold smack in the head from reality. Sometimes, no matter how Godly and submissive and obedient you are, the family won't make ends meet without another income.

I don't know the details of Gretchen and Merritt's finances. In general, though, I can't help but notice how many of the second-gen young fundie couples are living pretty close to the bone, even when they're plenty bright and full of initiative. I feel like they may be disadvantaged by the fact that their cultural environment (in some cases--probably not Gretchen's--mainly their families) has sent them the direct or implied message that getting an education out in the world isn't really that important. But many of them also lack the self-awareness to see how their upbringing has compromised their ability to provide a comfortable living for their growing families. (Interestingly, many parents willing to disadvantage their kids this way DID complete college themselves, using the skills/ credentials they acquired to increase their income potential. But these parents don't pass the same advantage along to their own kids, much as the Duggar parents dated but won't allow their offspring the opportunity.)

Edited for elaboration/clarification.

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I don't know the details of Gretchen and Merritt's finances. In general, though, I can't help but notice how many of the second-gen young fundie couples are living pretty close to the bone, even when they're plenty bright and full of initiative. I feel like they may be disadvantaged by the fact that their cultural environment (in some cases, mainly their families) has sent them the direct or implied message that getting an education out in the world isn't really that important. But many of them also lack the self-awareness to see how their upbringing has compromised their ability to provide a comfortable living for their growing families. (Interestingly, many parents willing to disadvantage their kids this way DID complete college themselves, using the skills/ credentials they acquired to increase their income potential. But these parents don't pass the same advantage along to their own kids, much as the Duggar parents dated but won't allow their offspring the opportunity.)

Edited for elaboration.

This actually makes sense, especially considering what she is posting about. It reeks of desperation - an attempt to be relevant, but still blog on something not usually blogged on, therefore (theoretically) fresh. Without the awareness that most people don't ponder laundry.

If that's the case I honestly feel a lot of pity for her.

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I feel like they may be disadvantaged by the fact that their cultural environment (in some cases, mainly their families) has sent them the direct or implied message that getting an education out in the world isn't really that important.

I agree with your general point but I find it hard to fit Gretchen into that mold - she did have some college education (as you or someone else explained), and her brother went to Patrick Henry and then had a free ride to Pepperdine Law School:

http://www.phc.edu/alumni_glaser_w.php

http://www.phc.edu/20100604_glasers.php

Admittedly, the tag line I always heard for Pepperdine was 'surf's up!' but still, it's an actual school. He's now with Alliance Defending Freedom (Alliance Defense Fund), fwiw.

Of course, she may well have gotten the 'men do x women do y' message at home. I don't know enough about her other siblings - I think her younger sister spent the summer helping her out around the house.

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I agree with your general point but I find it hard to fit Gretchen into that mold - she did have some college education (as you or someone else explained), and her brother went to Patrick Henry and then had a free ride to Pepperdine Law School:

http://www.phc.edu/alumni_glaser_w.php

http://www.phc.edu/20100604_glasers.php

Admittedly, the tag line I always heard for Pepperdine was 'surf's up!' but still, it's an actual school. He's now with Alliance Defending Freedom (Alliance Defense Fund), fwiw.

Of course, she may well have gotten the 'men do x women do y' message at home. I don't know enough about her other siblings - I think her younger sister spent the summer helping her out around the house.

Yeah, that was more of a general observation; I don't think the Glasers are anti-education per se, and in fact, I believe younger sister Jessica plans to head off to college. I think in Gretchen's particular case, she was influenced more by the messages she was absorbing from non-family sources about the virtues of being a SAHD/W, etc., and not pursuing an outside career. For instance, I remember that Natalie, Gretchen's best friend at that time, actually fought mightily against her parents' wishes that she go away to college (even though she did end up going at her parents' behest). When I wrote that post, I was thinking of other families I'm aware of where the parents do discourage 'worldly' education, but I think the anti-education pressure can actually come from either the parents or the larger subculture. (And in some cases, like Natalie's, the parents and the larger subculture find themselves at odds on this topic.)

(Edited to add an old piece of Gretchen's where she talks about wanting to be a SAHW - definitely sounds like she was influenced by sources other than her family: ylcf.org/2006/04/i-want-john-doe-on-john-deere/. Also, take a look at how enthusiastically her ~same-age peers, the YLCF readers, endorse her wishes: "My highest goal as well, is to devote my time to raising a wonderful family, being a full-time wife and mother, whenever I’m old enough!" and "So often the choice to stay in the home is seen as an archaic, wifely doormat principle of the past. What a thrill is is to shock the stereotype in the joyful pursuit of a fulfilling biblical role!" They, along with Gretchen, are buying into the subculture here and perpetuating it at the same time.)

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There are, like, 4 posts on laundry this week on Gretchen's blog? There is a THEME of AIRING OUT ONE'S LAUNDRY presented on Gretchen's blog? In my mental image of Gretchen selecting this topic, she is reading our thread on her rebranding, specifically where I and several others mention she can write about her life without "airing all her dirty laundry," and she cackles to herself and says, "I'm going to troll those bitches so hard." POINTS FOR GRETCHEN.

Now if only the minutae of laundry-washing-and-drying were actually interesting to read about. I have done hand-washing and machine-washing and air-drying and public-laundromat-laundry and to me, all methods of laundry-doing are about as interesting to discuss as someone's pet rock collection.

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There are, like, 4 posts on laundry this week on Gretchen's blog? There is a THEME of AIRING OUT ONE'S LAUNDRY presented on Gretchen's blog? In my mental image of Gretchen selecting this topic, she is reading our thread on her rebranding, specifically where I and several others mention she can write about her life without "airing all her dirty laundry," and she cackles to herself and says, "I'm going to troll those bitches so hard." POINTS FOR GRETCHEN.

Bahahahaha! Actually, if true, that would rock.

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Today's laundry post is pretty good, it's a guest post from a woman who grew up in a self described "legalistic " Christian family of homesteaders that she walked away from at 26. She also works outside the home as an RN. Rather a daring choice for Gretchen

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Today's laundry post is pretty good, it's a guest post from a woman who grew up in a self described "legalistic " Christian family of homesteaders that she walked away from at 26. She also works outside the home as an RN. Rather a daring choice for Gretchen

I've never heard of this guest blogger, but she sounds interesting -- her story reminds me a little of Bethany Patchin (formerly Torode)'s (whose recent writings I absolutely love, btw). Surprised someone coming out of a legalistic background would want to associate herself with the webmaster of a site like YLCF, but after all, Gretchen's personal blog is much less geared toward promoting a particular worldview.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Quick Gretchen update: apparently all the stars aligned (and the headship acquiesced), so she's going to be attending this year's reincarnation of the Relevant conference, known as Allume: gretchenlouise.com/2012/10/10-things-my-allume-roomies-should-know-about-me. I'm torn between being glad she'll get a little kid-free time away from home and chagrined she's sure to return even more obsessed with surface-y blog branding and platform-building.

She says, "This year, I knew (and said) all along that I couldn’t go to Allume because of this, this, and that. I was perfectly at peace in staying home, and just soaking up the Twitter stream live, and the recordings and notes afterward. But then last Friday, a ticket to the sold-out conference became available, and I got a very generous message." Cryptic, no? Who was the "generous message" from, and was there a check attached?

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I just looked at the Allume homepage. It's very, uh... white.

And I'm cringing looking at some of the photobooth pictures -- especially the one in the top right of the homepage with a woman holding a fake mustache. These women are trying very hard to be "hip but Christian," which of course means that they fail at it.

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Whoah, Pepperdine is a Christian Law School? I had no idea. I have an acquaintance whose husband was commuting from the Midwest to Pepperdine (which was really hard on his family, whoah) and stopped her from taking a job offer even though his startup is struggling. Christian Law School explains both of those weird things.

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A few things....

Pepperdine is not a Christian school. I believe it is affiliated with some denomination, but I would not label it a "christian" school as they don't require a statement of faith or chapel/church attendance, etc. Patrick Henry encourages their students to attend secular, highly ranked law and graduate schools.

The laundry post on Gretchen's website by the woman who grew up on a homestead in abject poverty is from the family that writes this website...brokenflowerschm.blogspot.com. They no longer post much but I think it is one of the best blogs from women who had an incredible amount of courage to break away from patriarchy, even if it means their family has all but disowned them.

I am so freaking sick of Allume. I know many of the bloggers attending personally and IRL, and frankly, I really think that the conferences, the branding, the blogs themselves are just creative expressions by women pretending that they don't have a job and lauding themselves for not working. The amount of time and effort they are putting into writing/editing/self publishing books, blogging, marketing and utilizing social media--not to mention attending conferences--is more time per week than I work at my full time, 48 hour a week job. I KNOW these women(some of whom we discuss here), I SEE what their everyday life looks like, and I--who recently chose to go back to work full time even though it was necessitated by keeping my sanity with two small children and not finances--know that I spend more time a week with my children than they do. Also on these websites I see a lot of "what my roommate should know about me" (seriously, I got over that in college, but none of these women attended college), "oh no! I've never been away from my babies and my husband before!! What am I going to do!!" and chocolate eating. A lot of chocolate eating. The whole thing seems like a giant junior high sleepover....I attend professional conferences a couple times a year for work, some of them I've been attending for years and have some close knit friends I only see there, but I don't see any of the mentality I see among the women heading to Allume.

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I'd read that Pepperdine is a well-regarded college where political conservatives are heavily represented. This would make it attractive to fundies without the instituation itself being flagrantly fundie in the way we are used to seeing with heavily religiously-affiliated schools.

I'm currently an atheist sahm & these Allume bloggers and wannabes get to travel & have pretend conferences/sleepovers at a pace that seems to reflect a life of leisure. I need to start organizing some kind of made-up-sounding networking event that requires me to be in Vegas at least once a month. Maybe Gretchen will post tips on how to accomplish this! I will need to replace the chocolate-eating portion of the event with a few bottles of Patron though.

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I'd read that Pepperdine is a well-regarded college where political conservatives are heavily represented. This would make it attractive to fundies without the instituation itself being flagrantly fundie in the way we are used to seeing with heavily religiously-affiliated schools.

I'm currently an atheist sahm & these Allume bloggers and wannabes get to travel & have pretend conferences/sleepovers at a pace that seems to reflect a life of leisure. I need to start organizing some kind of made-up-sounding networking event that requires me to be in Vegas at least once a month. Maybe Gretchen will post tips on how to accomplish this! I will need to replace the chocolate-eating portion of the event with a few bottles of Patron though.

The Amazing Meeting! Granted, it's once a year. I'm trying to convince the husband to go next year.

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well, Pepperdine may not be super fundy (they have an interfaith council) but they not only list Spriritual Life under their Student Life thin on the main page, but Wednesday Bible Study is the first thing under Spiritual Life.

It's also plain weird for someone from the Midwest to commute back and forth to California to go to Law School. Especially with little kids and a startup business at home. I had always assumed it was a full ride scholarship or something (which it may be...but still plane tickets every week add up.) but with the SAHW and entrepreneurship thing, it seems like a tidy fundy package.

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I am so freaking sick of Allume. I know many of the bloggers attending personally and IRL, and frankly, I really think that the conferences, the branding, the blogs themselves are just creative expressions by women pretending that they don't have a job and lauding themselves for not working. The amount of time and effort they are putting into writing/editing/self publishing books, blogging, marketing and utilizing social media--not to mention attending conferences--is more time per week than I work at my full time, 48 hour a week job. I KNOW these women(some of whom we discuss here), I SEE what their everyday life looks like, and I--who recently chose to go back to work full time even though it was necessitated by keeping my sanity with two small children and not finances--know that I spend more time a week with my children than they do. Also on these websites I see a lot of "what my roommate should know about me" (seriously, I got over that in college, but none of these women attended college), "oh no! I've never been away from my babies and my husband before!! What am I going to do!!" and chocolate eating. A lot of chocolate eating. The whole thing seems like a giant junior high sleepover....I attend professional conferences a couple times a year for work, some of them I've been attending for years and have some close knit friends I only see there, but I don't see any of the mentality I see among the women heading to Allume.

Interesting, sableduck. If these women are putting so much effort into developing their web presence, branding themselves, tweeting about their ventures, etc., do you think whatever they're getting out of it--financially or life-fulfillment-wise--justifies the time investment? I could be wrong here, but save a few exceptions (like Crystal of Money Saving Mom and the former version of MckMama) I'm skeptical that these blogs and work-from-home ventures are bringing in the big bucks. I feel like all the Christian-mommy-blogger stuff is much more about making and sustaining social connections than it is about finding a true home-based career path, which probably explains the junior high sleepover vibe. You probably have a better idea, though, since you know some of these women.

And yeah, the "never been away from my kids!! evar!!!1!" stuff is weird. It's like they're trying to shore up whatever SAHM cred they feel like they might be losing by going to a business conference in the first place.

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I am dying to know what is going on with Gretchen.... If you look at her list of clients on her website, most if them are close personal friends (like Ashleigh) or YLCF. Her business can't exactly be lucrative! And I am very curious about the all of a sudden chances to go to Relevant and Allume. Are her parents or inlays helping out so that she can leave the house? (and why hasn't she announced another pregnancy yet?)

I also agree on the whole Allume having a junior high sleepover vibe. It's like these women have to prove that they are so awesome or something. Most of us have grown beyond such trite by the time we get past semester one of college. I guess when you don't have the chance to grow into adulthood after high school, you have to use your 20s, 30s and beyond to pass such a developmental milestone.

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Interesting, sableduck. If these women are putting so much effort into developing their web presence, branding themselves, tweeting about their ventures, etc., do you think whatever they're getting out of it--financially or life-fulfillment-wise--justifies the time investment? I could be wrong here, but save a few exceptions (like Crystal of Money Saving Mom and the former version of MckMama) I'm skeptical that these blogs and work-from-home ventures are bringing in the big bucks. I feel like all the Christian-mommy-blogger stuff is much more about making and sustaining social connections than it is about finding a true home-based career path, which probably explains the junior high sleepover vibe. You probably have a better idea, though, since you know some of these women.

And yeah, the "never been away from my kids!! evar!!!1!" stuff is weird. It's like they're trying to shore up whatever SAHM cred they feel like they might be losing by going to a business conference in the first place.

I think it is a combination of needing money and wanting to feel like they are contributing to the home finances as well as a need to write and feel accomplished. However, I don't think that the time and effort they are putting into everything(from blogging to ebook writing to marketing to social media) is giving them nearly the return that a regular job would. I suspect they are both spending 30-36 hours a week on all of it, which at my personal hourly rate would be a decent chunk of change. I know that they are not making anything close to what they would make working, say, 30 hours a week. However, I also need to factor into this that they have no education or work experience and would probably start somewhere around minimum wage(I honestly have no idea what that pay rate is these days). Plus getting an actual outside-the-home job would blow the SAHM-facade right out of the water.

Truthfully, I think that they--Gretchen, Trina, others we discuss--are finding that the SAHM lifestyle isn't all they thought it would be. They are talented, intelligent women who are discovering that maybe this life that they have committed themselves too so publicly isn't giving them the personal satisfaction and financial stability they thought it would, and this blogging/marketing stuff is a way to make themselves feel like they are contributing to their families and the world at large.

(Disclaimer: I do NOT think that being a SAHM is devoid of personal satisfaction in the least. However, I also believe that there is no one-size-fits-all lifestyle choice, and that it is silly to pretend to be something you aren't.)

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This really is the group of fundie mommy bloggers that sends my blood pressure through the roof. I have posted about Trina before...It's that smug sanctimonious worldview that comes from having accomplished absolutely nothing of substance that makes the Allume-y types so grating. None of them went to a brick and mortar school. None of them have gone to college. They have never had to meet a deadline, compete with others, or actually engage professionally with other adults who are not exactly like them. They have never sat for an exam, written an actual research paper that would pass muster in an advanced level class, or obtained any sort of professional certification, much less held a job with any level of responsibility outside of a "family" business. Yet these are the "intellectuals" of the group, who delude themselves into thinking they are the next Ann Voskamp. They are too superior to sell Lilla Rose or goat's milk soap, so they blog about "family mission statements", and ministering to their heathen neighbors through hospitality, or how they know so much more about disease than actual doctors.

They are smart enough to know better, but too arrogant and lazy to do anything about it./end rant/

sorry, they get to me.

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Oh geez.

Gretchen's top three things the roommates need to know:

I have not travelled without my husband and/or children since that trip where I got engaged to him (almost 7 years ago). If you catch me grabbing random diaper bags or swaying back and forth like I’m holding a baby, please stop me.

I have only been apart from my husband once in our six and half years of marriage (not counting hospital stays and all-night hay baling)—and that was last year at Relevant. I am un-ashamedly in love with my man and I will miss him dreadfully.

I have never left my 18-month-old son overnight before. I will go through withdrawals from him—and my two sweet girls (ages 3 and almost 5). If you’re there with a baby, I’ll be glad to hold them for you so you can have a break!

Translation: I am still totally the dutiful dedicated SAHM and I can only go on this trip by convincing myself and others that doing anything by/for myself is not in the least important when compared to my sacrifices for my family.

I mean, I'm glad she's going - anything to break these women out of the cycle, even if only for a few days, has got to be a good thing. And I, too, miss my husband when one of us is travelling. But really, the incessant foregrounding of SAHM identity is just, ugh, stop it. You're allowed to do something that isn't SAHM-duty without feeling as though you have to justify it.

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I am so freaking sick of Allume. I know many of the bloggers attending personally and IRL, and frankly, I really think that the conferences, the branding, the blogs themselves are just creative expressions by women pretending that they don't have a job and lauding themselves for not working. The amount of time and effort they are putting into writing/editing/self publishing books, blogging, marketing and utilizing social media--not to mention attending conferences--is more time per week than I work at my full time, 48 hour a week job. I KNOW these women(some of whom we discuss here), I SEE what their everyday life looks like, and I--who recently chose to go back to work full time even though it was necessitated by keeping my sanity with two small children and not finances--know that I spend more time a week with my children than they do. Also on these websites I see a lot of "what my roommate should know about me" (seriously, I got over that in college, but none of these women attended college), "oh no! I've never been away from my babies and my husband before!! What am I going to do!!" and chocolate eating. A lot of chocolate eating. The whole thing seems like a giant junior high sleepover....I attend professional conferences a couple times a year for work, some of them I've been attending for years and have some close knit friends I only see there, but I don't see any of the mentality I see among the women heading to Allume.

Do you know anything about Elizabeth Esther? I read her blog occasionally, and thought she was breaking away from a fundy family into a conservative but mainstream Catholicism. Her appearance at this conference surprised me.

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I think it is a combination of needing money and wanting to feel like they are contributing to the home finances as well as a need to write and feel accomplished. However, I don't think that the time and effort they are putting into everything(from blogging to ebook writing to marketing to social media) is giving them nearly the return that a regular job would. I suspect they are both spending 30-36 hours a week on all of it, which at my personal hourly rate would be a decent chunk of change. I know that they are not making anything close to what they would make working, say, 30 hours a week. However, I also need to factor into this that they have no education or work experience and would probably start somewhere around minimum wage(I honestly have no idea what that pay rate is these days). Plus getting an actual outside-the-home job would blow the SAHM-facade right out of the water.

Truthfully, I think that they--Gretchen, Trina, others we discuss--are finding that the SAHM lifestyle isn't all they thought it would be. They are talented, intelligent women who are discovering that maybe this life that they have committed themselves too so publicly isn't giving them the personal satisfaction and financial stability they thought it would, and this blogging/marketing stuff is a way to make themselves feel like they are contributing to their families and the world at large.

(Disclaimer: I do NOT think that being a SAHM is devoid of personal satisfaction in the least. However, I also believe that there is no one-size-fits-all lifestyle choice, and that it is silly to pretend to be something you aren't.)

It's that smug sanctimonious worldview that comes from having accomplished absolutely nothing of substance that makes the Allume-y types so grating. None of them went to a brick and mortar school. None of them have gone to college. They have never had to meet a deadline, compete with others, or actually engage professionally with other adults who are not exactly like them. They have never sat for an exam, written an actual research paper that would pass muster in an advanced level class, or obtained any sort of professional certification, much less held a job with any level of responsibility outside of a "family" business. Yet these are the "intellectuals" of the group, who delude themselves into thinking they are the next Ann Voskamp. They are too superior to sell Lilla Rose or goat's milk soap, so they blog about "family mission statements", and ministering to their heathen neighbors through hospitality, or how they know so much more about disease than actual doctors.

Looking more closely at the Allume website, the conference-goers seem to be a pretty mixed bag, honestly. First you have the few like Crystal Paine and Ann Voskamp (the upper tier of presenters, essentially) who, whatever their other qualities, are unqualified business successes by almost anyone's definition. Then you have the lesser-known majority, the attendees who are--for lack of a better word--aspirants. What's tough to figure out is exactly what they aspire to. Do they truly want to be the next Crystal-esque business whizzes, with all the overtime work commitment and public scrutiny that implies? Are they mostly looking to get plugged into a larger social network and share in the Christian-mommy-blogger warm fuzzies? Or--as meda and sableduck hinted--do their cultural milieu and sub-par educational grounding hold them back from the kind of life exploration they might really like to undertake, and does Allume provide them with an alternative outlet for learning and creative expression? I actually think that, for some of these women, it could be some unlikely and eclectic combination of all of the above. (If the last item is true for any of the attendees, my heart goes out to them.)

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Do you know anything about Elizabeth Esther? I read her blog occasionally, and thought she was breaking away from a fundy family into a conservative but mainstream Catholicism. Her appearance at this conference surprised me.

I am dying to know what goes on in EEs life. I know she has been through a lot, but it still seems like she is having some mental health issues still. She seems to bounce around a bit religion-wise too. Perhaps she knows that she has to remain in the evangelical Christian world to sell her book and build her blog, and Allume is juet a means to an end. Catholics just don't have the same wide spread consumerist bent when it comes to religious goods that evangelicals do. (Yes, I realize this is an overgeneralization!)

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