I was up with the stomach flu last night and I drank two cans of coke today and now I can't sleep, so I'm going to try this.

For years people I know have been trying to get me to read/watch Game of Thrones, but I keep resisting. From what I've heard of it, I just don't think I'd like it. There seems to be far too much gross underage/incestuous sex, rape, brutality and general negativity for me to enjoy it. But I know millions of people absolutely love it, so I'm not dissing it, at all. Especially as I've never actually read/watched it. Many people I know absolutely rave about it, so, you know... that's awesome. I'm glad they're enjoying it. I hope they keep enjoying it. I know that they can enjoy it without me.

BUT I can't freaking escape it!

A few weeks ago I saw a little girl in the paper with a butchered version of my first name. I'm not going to say exactly what it was because I'm doing this thing where I'm pretending to care a lot about keeping my identity anonymous, but anyway, it was a version I'd never seen before. I even texted it to my mum, like, "Haha, check this out, what will they think of next??" It wasn't ridiculous or anything, just different. Well, I just found out that it's from freaking GAME OF THRONES. Who are these characters with my (misspelled) name running around in Westeros? Are they having sex with their brothers? Throwing children out of towers? Chopping people's heads off? Talking to wolves or dragons or whatever the heck is going on, I don't know, but I'm disturbed, highly disturbed I tell you.

One of my good friends also decided for some reason out of the blue that I was a Lannister. She INSISTED that I was a Lannister. Hello, even I know that the Lannisters are the super shady incestuous bad guys! So I went and took a Buzzfeed test and it told me I was a Stark. HA! Sweet justice. Now I know what my Game of Thrones name will be when I invade Westeros and set up a parliamentary democracy with a charter of rights and freedoms and ban winter forever, because I hear that's a big deal there.