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All Shall Know the Wonder

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By Popular Demand


purple_summer

1,653 views

If you've been in the chat room (which you should because we're awesome) at all this week you have probably either heard this story or heard a reference to this story. I'm posting it here after receiving numerous requests to do so.

 

Last week was a friend's bachelorette outing. Naturally we ended up at a sex shop. This is a really nice place with wonderful staff and quite the range of toys. We spend some time perusing the usual "bachelorette" items- sparkly vibrators, skanky lingerie, penis ring toss. Fairly tame stuff. Friend indicates that she really wants to buy a dildo. No big deal, we're all adults here and sometimes a girl has needs. After looking through several racks of products she still hasn't quite found something that fits her desired....dimensions. 

Roughly an hour later we walk out of the store and she is the proud owner of a 10 inch long 2-3ish inch thick dildo. She originally chose one that was approximately the size of a small newborn before the kind shop owner explained that it might not be quite what she wants... We go about the rest of our evening and I head home after dinner.

As soon as I walk through the door I receive a text message simply stating "well I might have to go to the ER. Not enough lube." My friend was so excited about her new toy that she forgot to take the proper precautions. Good news is that she's fine, just some minor bruising and a hit to her pride.

Moral of the story? Don't go long and wide at the same time.

 

 

For those of you who have missed it, here is the link to the full twitter story that is currently going viral- http://imgur.com/a/WDwyW

  • Upvote 2

5 Comments


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Destiny

Posted

she still hasn't quite found something that fits her desired....dimensions. 

Dead. OMFG LOL!

Also, you forgot the part about having to promise to burn the house down so the dildo that was still stuck to the table wasn't found!

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MarblesMom

Posted

The best part of the story is that you didn't have to burn her house down to remove evidence.  And the take away is LUBE FOR LIFE, people.

GREAT post.  Now you are hooked and must post more MWAH MWAH MWAH.

  • Upvote 1
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

This was a much needed cautionary tale and we've all learned something from the PSA.  And at some point I hope to stop laughing because this was too funny.  :)

  • Upvote 1
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laPapessaGiovanna

Posted

Thanks for the laugh! I needed it.

For time zone problems I never find people in the chat, so keep posting that I want to know what I am missing. Lol..

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  • Posts

    • Katzchen24

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Giraffe said:

      As a homeschooling ("homeschooling") parent how is she not hiding in shame that not a single one of her children likes to read? If they were doing a decent job homeschooling I'd expect the answer to be closer to "most of our children love to read. We have one/two who would read 24/7 if we let them and one/two who hate reading with every fiber of their being and one/two who love reading but have to work extra hard at reading."
       

      Like the Rods and so many other fundies I snark on, they are abysmal failures at homeschooling. 

      In their minds I’m guessing they see their homeschooling efforts as a complete success. Children who don’t read and aren’t ever encouraged to be curious about the world will be far less likely to leave the Borg. 

    • Melissa1977

      Posted

      It sounds like they have been preventing for a while  If not, she would have said it loud. At least it's good news, but I can't understand that she protects her health spacing kids but puts her in major risks not having medical appointments on her pregnancies.

      • Upvote 1
    • Giraffe

      Posted (edited)

      As a homeschooling ("homeschooling") parent how is she not hiding in shame that not a single one of her children likes to read? If they were doing a decent job homeschooling I'd expect the answer to be closer to "most of our children love to read. We have one/two who would read 24/7 if we let them and one/two who hate reading with every fiber of their being and one/two who love reading but have to work extra hard at reading."
       

      Like the Rods and so many other fundies I snark on, they are abysmal failures at homeschooling. 

      Edited by Giraffe
    • Giraffe

      Posted

      7 hours ago, Sops2 said:

      Did we know that Allison had homebirths and virtually no pregnancy care- no ultrasounds, no checkups, no interventions, no checking during labour. She relied on her " intuition" she says

       

      3 hours ago, marmalade said:

      The compound seems to be in the middle of nowhere. I doubt they're anywhere near a hospital. And I could see arrogant Allison refusing transfer of herself or the baby. 

      She won't refuse to transfer to the hospital per se. She simply won't recognize she needs to transfer until it's too late. Oh wait, nevermind. She has her intuition guiding her so she and the baby will be just fine. 
       

      :angry-banghead:

      • Upvote 4
    • Giraffe

      Posted (edited)

      I imagine most of the second generation have re-thought their parent's/in-laws views on having as many children as they possibly can, even if they went into marriage with that ideology. I'm sure some of them experienced a rude awakening when they realized Michelle was the exception not the norm. 

      Edited by Giraffe


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