9 hours ago, Frog99 said:
I don’t understand the whole focus on submission. I can’t wrap my brain around it. DH and I both make decisions as needed- I don’t wait for him and I surely don’t harass the heck out of him, and vice versa.
I don’t tell him what to do, he doesn’t tell me what to do.
to ask permission for a girls night or something is weird. Just like I would be weirded out if he asked permission to do something.
We don’t have chaos and disorder in our home. No one is fighting for control. We do things to help the other and we do nice things for each other- because we love each other.
From the conversation with Ken on 2.0 (and via pm), I've come to the conclusion that a wife taking a subordinate position in marriage and doing everything her husband wants is at the heart of their doctrine. Women have "needs" while men have needs that they can expect to have met by their wives. They take the "woman was made for man" verse very seriously, without looking into what that might mean. She was made for me, she must submit to me, otherwise she's not in the will of God.
Like you, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around what submission means. I only tell my husband that he has to do x, y or z if it's something that he has to do and seems to be forgetting to do. I guess I'd be labeled unsubmissive and controlling for trying to keep us out of disaster zone.
Asking permission is for children, not adults. We will ask each other if it's ok to do something or another out of consideration, not obedience or something like that.
Chaos reigns in our home, but not because of control issues. We're chaotic! Like you, we are together because we love each other. It's a journey that has its ups and downs, but I'd rather live like this than play the "submission game".