What the flying fuck? That is so ridiculous! 

Ikr?  Spoiler alert, I did not go see her pastor.

WTF.

Thank Rufus she's retiring.  She sounds well past her sell by date.  Did you manage to get a good referral from anyone else?

Nope.  I was sitting in a secular run of the mill medical practice blindsided by pastor referrals so I decided to tackle this as a DIY thing.

It's only a problem when it comes to men, I'm actually pretty darn functional in most other areas of my life so as long as I embrace the whole forever alone thing my issues are non-issues.

I know therapy can be helpful for many people but I was always dubious about it for me due to past experience and it was a rare moment of open mindedness that I wanted to give it a shot...I'm okay with the door remaining slammed shut on this.

Holy. Shit. (BTW as another person with ADHD who was told by multiple teachers, psychologists, doctors, and other various 'geniuses' over the years that nothing was wrong with me and that it was all my fault for just being too negative and not ~believing in myself~ enough, you have my deepest empathy.)

This story pisses me off as much today as it did when it happened. 

I would have recorded the conversation just to be sure my ears really heard that shit. WTF? Most of the psychiatrists I've known (for work related things) were batshit crazy but this one is crazy AND unprofessional. Glad you didn't really need her advice.

Yes, all pastors are men, are qualified therapists, and absolutely none of them have ever, ever, ever thought of a woman in that way.  Ever!  In the history of the world! 

Holy crap.  WTF was wrong with that person?!

FTR, the best people I've known for therapist recommendations are folks who're in therapy or have been. They've either seen someone awesome who usually then can either take you on or give you a good referral, or they know who to avoid already. 

And if it makes you feel any better (in a misery loves company sort of way), I've got friend NYC (land of psychotherapy!) who recently broke up with her older, female therapist.  The woman kept telling her she needed to find a wealthy, older man to take care of her.  That was basically her problem -- the lack of a committed sugar daddy relationship.  So, even in what should be an excellent place to find a therapist, there can still be horrible issues. 

Anyway, glad that dinosaur-mindset doctor of yours is retiring and hopefully she'll limit her bad advice to her fellow churchgoers from now on!

What in the name of Rufus? That’s so messed up and not helpful. One would hope a psychiatrist would understand wanting a doctor who fits your needs and a therapist...If you lived near me I’d recommend my psychiatrist and therapist. They’re awesome.

I'm just gobsmacked at your doctor!

I might have smacked her with a bedpan. WTF. I wonder how many poor patients she's subjected to that kind of bullhonkery...

30 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

I wonder how many poor patients she's subjected to that kind of bullhonkery...

I wonder how may patients that she failed to refer to professional therapists had really bad outcomes.

I read this several times over because I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me and no professional would behave like that.

Holy shit!  I was reading that and waiting for the punch line...but alas it was for real.

I know there are bad therapists out there but this one, I have no words.  I guess I got lucky with the one therapist I did see 15 years ago.

Wow, just wow.  Definitely time for her to retire.  I hope the next doctor is better and you can get a referral to a councillor to help.

SO great to "see" you again, but that doctor!?!?! Good she's retiring.

/104th anniversary. /

Would add "JFC" to "WTF."

Welcome back!

Welcome back Buffy!

I'm not clear, is the doctor that retired your primary care physician or a psychiatrist?  If she's not a psychiatrist then I would write her off as an idiot and be glad she's retiring.  If she's a psychiatrist you can report her to the Board of Psychiatry or whatever it's called in your state.  That is not how psychiatry works and it is not beneficial to the client.

... i really just can't even with that!! 

I hope you can find a good therapist who will help you!

In my experience, it's a rare psychiatrist that is good for anything but writing prescriptions. Psychologists can be good, but they tend to want to look for "root causes". The best therapists I've ever had, in terms of getting stuff done, had MSW degrees. I could go to them, say, "this is the cycle of dysfunction/unhappiness I find myself in it. How do I break this cycle?"  and get practical guidance about how to do just that. Never less than 45 minutes, for a fraction of a psychiatrist's fee. (Yeah, I've had terrible taste in men, as well.)

OH MY FUCKING GOD. What the Hell?

I'm actually quite impressed with how you handled yourself during this shit show. 

Asking for help is not my forte.  I would have found it necessary to obsessively rehearse (in my head) what I wanted to say for some days prior to the appointment.  There would have been  discussion (just in my own head) about the correct tone.  Needs to be sorta casual  (because NBD, just making perfectly rational request for therapist referral )  but not too casual, because wish to appear as firm, decisive, almost totally together type of person (except for that one specific area needing fine tuning.)  Arguments would have been had (still only in own head) about stupid amount of time spent obsessing over making the effing request.  There would be clammy palms and urgent messages from my bladder about the need to pee (should be ignored as is invariably Fake News in these moments.) 

And then, after all that, to have the conversation go so freakishly sideways?  I don't know how you managed to keep talking coherently at all!  You even kept trying for a bit, until it became clear that nothing useful was going to come out of her.  Very impressed that you kept your wits about you (seeing as the Dr clearly had lost hers )  

14 hours ago, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

Asking for help is not my forte.  I would have found it necessary to obsessively rehearse (in my head) what I wanted to say for some days prior to the appointment.  There would have been  discussion (just in my own head) about the correct tone.  Needs to be sorta casual  (because NBD, just making perfectly rational request for therapist referral )  but not too casual, because wish to appear as firm, decisive, almost totally together type of person (except for that one specific area needing fine tuning.)  Arguments would have been had (still only in own head) about stupid amount of time spent obsessing over making the effing request.  There would be clammy palms and urgent messages from my bladder about the need to pee (should be ignored as is invariably Fake News in these moments.) 

 

Are you me??? That's exactly my approach to asking for help for anything, even something work-related

2 hours ago, Playagirl said:

Are you me??? That's exactly my approach to asking for help for anything, even something work-related

Mine too!

YOU MADE THIS UP, RIGHT???

(Like a New Year Fool's day thing, right??)

Just now, Nikedagain? said:

YOU MADE THIS UP, RIGHT???

(Like a New Year Fool's day thing, right??)

sadly, can confirm she told me this story in the fall. Seriously, what the serious fuck is this horseshit?