Wealth! Romance! Rejection! Fecundity! All that and more on today's episode of... Keeping Up With The Dunkels!!!

Subtitle: Dunkles By The Dozen

Now that Adam was an adult, he was seeking the Lord's will in finding a godly young lady to pursue for the purpose of marriage. Unfortunately so far he wasn't having much luck. Not sure what's turning these women off - couldn't possibly be the idea of giving up all semblance of independence and critical thinking to become a robotic broodmare, could it?

 

I have to admit, it took me a moment to figure out who this was. But, uh, yeah. It's Abel! He became a teen! 

 

Meanwhile, rebellious Abigail turned 18 and fell into a deep depression. Other girls her age were leaving for college, and here she was, stuck in this crazy house, changing diapers, cooking meals, trying to homeschool a herd of unruly children, and hating life!

 

Abigail clearly needed professional help, but all her parents could prescribe was MORE JESUS.

 

She thought that maybe if she could meet the right man, she could get out of the Dunkel house. After all, she had been brought up to think a girl's only way out of the family home was through marriage. Unfortunately Abigail wasn't having anymore luck in the romance department than her older brother Adam...

 

Er... Abigail? You okay? Actually, Abigail was a little too okay. She knew a girl through church who offered to sell her some black market anti-anxiety meds. She was still mostly miserable, but now she was mostly too calm to care.

(Sorry, this got kind of dark really fast, lol.)

 

Amazing news for the Dunkels! Wilbur's father died! Uhh, wait, no, that didn't come out right. Wilbur's father went to be with the Lord, and as Wilbur was his only child (gasp!) he left his entire estate to him. The Dunkels now had enough money to properly furnish their house and live comfortably for the first time since Cathy and Wilbur married!

 

(Okay, so here's what happened: for some reason, I have no idea why - keeping track of a dozen different people is a bit distracting - this genie appeared and granted the Dunkels three wishes. Abigail wished for 'peace of mind' because she was basically in aspiration failure, and now she's in platinum aspiration, probably permanently, I'm not sure. Adam wished for 'wealth' twice, and several large bags of money dropped out of the sky. Woohoo!)

 

Wait... could Abigail finally be hitting it off with a man?!

 

False alarm.

 

Here's the latest house reno, thanks to Wilbur's deceased father! As you can see, the Dunkels also finally purchased a computer. Perhaps Cathy or some of the girls could break onto the blogging scene! Of course, the computer was placed right in the main living space, to prevent shenanigans.

 

Omigosh! BFFs forever!! The Dunkel girls made a new friend! Her name is Cara Gray, she's from their church, and she dresses soooooo modestly! She also believes in courtship and waiting for marriage for her first kiss! The only thing wrong with her is her unfortunately short hair. So sad. But the Dunkel girls will encourage her to grow it out. They were already planning to pray unceasingly that the Lord might direct one of their brothers to her...

 

"Happy Birthday, Aliviah! You have brown hair and light blue eyes like the rest of your siblings. God bless you."

 

"Happy Birthday, Alizah! Etc."

 

On this episode of 'Everybody Hates Abigail"...

 

Gasp! The Dunkel sisters' prayers worked! Oft-forgotten Andrew Dunkel and Cara were totally hitting it off. "Wow! You love the Lord and have a servant's heart? That's such a weird coincidence, so do I!!" It certainly looked like a Special Friendship could be brewing!

 

Poor Adam Dunkel couldn't help but be a little distraught, seeing his YOUNGER brother possibly entering that sweet season of life before him.

 

But Adam's luck was about to turn. He met Mehrissa (yes, that's her actual name) on a mission trip to witness to the lost Catholics of southern Italy. Mehrissa was there with her church group, but it turned out she lived only a few miles away from the Dunkels back in the U. S. of A. It's almost like it was meant to be!

 

Adam and Mehrissa courted for two blessed months before Adam decided it was time to pop the question. With Mehrissa's younger brother chaperoning, Adam got down on one knee. "Mehrissa, you are such a diligent and godly young lady. You love the Lord and you have a servant's heart. Would you make me the most blessed man in the world by agreeing to be my helpmeet?"

 

She said, "Yes! Totally!" <3

 

The Dunkels gathered to celebrate the first engagement in the family! Hmm... could a special friendship possibly be brewing between Avalee(? I think this is Avalee? I'm terrible) and Mehrissa's younger brother? Maybe! (Okay, these people don't have a TV show, or even a blog, so I'm not sure what the point of being coy is. Honestly, idk if anything's going on with these two. MAYBE!)

 

DRAMA at the Dunkel house! It was Adam and Mehrissa's wedding day, and the ceremony was to be held in the garden. Cathy had spent the morning baking a wedding cake, and was just about to start cooking the wedding meal (that's right, no snack food reception here! Chef salad for all!) when she went into labour!!!

 

Only a beautiful BABY could make such a blessed day as Cathy's first born's wedding day an EVEN MORE blessed event! This baby's name is Aaron. I will try to remember.

 

There was absolute pandemonium in the kitchen as family and wedding guests rushed in to see the precious new addition, and Cathy tried to deliver the placenta. 

 

But everything was sorted out, and the ceremony went off without a hitch! Well, aside from the bride's extremely questionable attire, but to be fair, she had just had an intense shock, watching her mother-in-law give birth next to her wedding cake. (I should've moved her in and changed her wardrobe before making them get married, aha.) Adam was thrilled and relieved to have found a wife. Mehrissa was thrilled to have married into a family with money. Hmmm....

 

The guests applauded in joy as Adam and Mehrissa exchanged rings. And then...

 

THE FIRST KISS!!! (I'm sorry, I'm still cracking up at her dress. The side cut-outs! NIKE!!!!!)

 

Not to worry. As soon as the ceremony was over, the Dunkel sisters rushed to Mehrissa's rescue and gave her a proper modern modest makeover. What a relief!

 

Next time on Keeping Up With The Dunkels: Adam and Mehrissa's honeymoon! Will married life be 'awesome', 'amazing', or both?! Where will the happy couple make their new home, and how long before they have a happy announcement? Will Andrew and Cara start courting? Will Avalee(?) become 'special friends' with Mehrissa's little bro? Will Cathy and Wilbur be satisfied with 12 children, or will they manage to squeeze out one or two more? Will Abigail find her way? #SoBlessed!