Wow! Soooooo much has happened since we last saw the Dunkels approximately... 8 hours ago. For the Dunkels, I mean. Not for singsingsing. I mean, I deposited a cheque and talked to my grandma on the phone, so I was at least somewhat productive. And hey, I've had the worst insomnia and didn't get to sleep till 3:30 a.m. after spending way too much time reading about rare and terrifying medical conditions on Reddit, so there's that.

The Dunkels, on the other hand, have been very busy.

 

When we last met Cathy Dunkel, she had just given birth to twins. The good news is that with their grifting efforts and Wilbur's job in politics, they were able to replace the bed stolen by the delivery man! (That's Adam, joyfully asleep on the ratty couch they found on the side of the road. He's such a dear!)

 

And that bed is already coming in handy. Not a moment to lose - Wilbur wants AT LEAST ten children, and Cathy isn't getting any younger (or saner)!

 

I'm not sure why she looks so surprised. That's right, the twins are going to be big sisters soon! Awwwwwww!

 

I'm not sure if this picture adequately sums up the disaster that was life in the Dunkel household. Cathy was pregnant again and still a nervous wreck. Wilbur was about to pee his pants. Abigail was crying to get out of her crib, the twins were sleeping amidst the garbage on the kitchen floor, and the bathroom was completely covered in weeds.

 

So... friends, I have a confession to make: I cheated. I used 'maxmotives'. It restored all their mood bars back to 100%. But seriously, things were bleak. Everyone had the flu. The kids were hungry and dirty and exhausted. Cathy was literally about to starve to death. I decided that I would allow myself to use 'maxmotives' ONCE every day at 6:00 a.m. And trust me... even with that, they're barely hanging on. (I also slightly cheated with the floors - realized I had downloaded a floor that cost $0, so you bet I used that sucker throughout the house. Bye bye bathroom weeds!)

 

Happy Birthday to... everyone? Abigail aged into a child, and twins Aimee Joy and Anna Grace aged into toddlers. The Dunkels LOVED their busy, chaotic, wonderful, blessed life! They really, REALLY loved it! They loved it, okay? Please believe them. They need validation.

 

Cathy found that she was most comfortable giving birth unattended in the kitchen, and by now she was an old pro at it. She even had a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches ready in anticipation of post-labour snack time!

 

IT'S A BOY! Another Christian warrior for God's quiver! How sweet and special. Blessing #4's name is Andrew Dunkel. I like how he's trying to hide his face. It's futile, kid. Just wait till your mother starts blogging!

 

Big brother Adam was thrilled to have a precious new baby brother to encourage and disciple in the ways of the Lord. Abigail seemed to be contemplating her fate as a sister mom.

 

Not many pictures were taken of the twins during this tumultuous season of life, except for this one of Anna Grace being held by her daddy. Aimee Joy can be seen in the background. Both are, of course, modestly dressed. Godly young ladies in training!

 

Wilbur was very pleased with himself, but at least this time he had reason to be: he got promoted to political lobbyist! He was so excited for this opportunity to spew judgement and hate all the live long day, and get paid to do it! Although Wilbur never thought of himself as a job-type person, his promotion had got him thinking. Maybe God was calling him to work to build a true Christian nation through politics? Maybe he was even calling him to run for... city council? State congress? The Senate? THE PRESIDENCY?!

 

Besides Wilbur's inflated ego, one good thing to come of his promotion was a nice pay raise and bonus. The Dunkels were able to add another addition to their house, and put a pond in the yard. Cathy had been leading the children in Bible study, and when they read that fishing was such a godly profession, they were all absolutely desperate to go fishing. Also, they were really bored, isolated, and had nothing better to do.

 

Cathy was happy to spend quality time with her eldest son Adam, talking about, what else? Babies and children.

 

Happy summer days spent fishing seemed to cure Cathy of her depression and agitation. Wilbur thought it was a little strange, until he realized that they could sell the fish that Cathy caught and bring in some extra cash. Cha-ching! Cathy never felt more productive or at peace with the universe the Lord than when she reeled in a largemouth bass.

 

Meanwhile, Wilbur changed up his wardrobe and hairstyle to suit his new political position and ambitions. He really wasn't a fan of his new look, but knew it was a necessary sacrifice to one day become president selflessly provide for the needs of his growing family.

 

Happy Birthday, Andrew! Just a reminder that the Dunkels have a kid named Andrew. In case you forgot. Sometimes I do.

 

Uh oh... there's that willful sin nature at work! Come on, Andrew, you're a toddler now! You should know better than to behave like a toddler! 

 

Happy Birthday, twins! Yes, they do have names... There's Aimee Joy on the left, and Anna Grace on the right. But calling them 'the twins' is just sooooooo much cuter and soooo precious!! Besides, everyone knows who the Dunkels are talking about when they say 'the twins', unless they have ANOTHER set of twins, and that would be suuuuuuuuch a sweet blessing, but how likely is that?!

 

Things still weren't quite all right in the Dunkel household. Having so many kids was just exhausting, ya'll. Who woulda thunk it?! While dad and mom snoozed inside, the twins and Adam played outside in the dark. Adam made a friend! It may be a cat, or a rabid raccoon. 

 

Wilbur, the absolute arse of the century, came home one day celebrating that he had been FIRED from his job as a political lobbyist. Yep, that's right. Apparently his makeover was all for naught. He made another boneheaded decision and was fired from yet another job. But you see, he was happy, because this just proved that he really wasn't a job-type person. God clearly had another path in mind for him. He just need to take some time, like a few months or years, to figure out what that might be.

 

And his timing could not have been better. Oh - did I forget to mention that Cathy was expecting again? Well, she decided not to announce this pregnancy because she'd gotten so many mean comments last time. People actually had the nerve to tell her that maybe she should stop having kids if she was constantly in a state of panic and despair, her husband couldn't keep a job, there was no paint on the walls and her children were running wild, befriending raccoons. Rude! Wilbur managed to sleep through most of the labour, but finally woke up to help Cathy deliver...

 

TWINS! (Sorry about Wilbur's tighty whities. I just figured he would be the type of guy to wear tighty whities.) Welcome to the world, Avalee and Adalyn Dunkel. God help you, because your parents sure can't!

 

That's all this time! Join us next time to find out how the Dunkels manage with SEVEN kids, including TWO sets of twins! Will Wilbur figure out his God-given calling? Will Cathy turn more and more to fishing and leave Abigail to homeschool the growing herd of children? Will Wilbur manage to impregnate his wife with his coveted TEN babies? All this and more on the next episode of... Keeping Up With The Dunkels - A Fundie Legacy!