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Buffy's Commentary

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I need some good thoughts sent my way...

HerNameIsBuffy

1,518 views

I need you guys to be with me in spirit today...I'm about to do the riskiest thing I've ever done (and I've had sex on a second floor window ledge, so that's saying something)...just wish me luck that I can handle the repercussions, whatever they might be.

Spoiler

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But...

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Even though...

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which it totally could.  But...

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and I need to be free from the torture of what ifs...my brain will stay itchy until it's resolved and this seems less risky that opening up my skull to pour calamine lotion in there.

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So no matter how this shakes out the fact that I'm even considering this is so much braver than I ever thought I could be...

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So why I am doing something I'm likely to regret?  Not sure I thought this through.

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That's my way...doesn't mean I don't need some handholding in spirit, though...

And so you don't think I'm about to leave my job to join a circus as the chick who gets the knives tossed at her...I'm not.  I'm answering a message...

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Because that.  and this...

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and this...to an obnoxious degree

 

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Because...

 

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well...he was...not that I don't think you guys are right up there, though!  And if this is a really bad idea?  Well...

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And if it blows up in my face I've got some love and self loathing at home in the freezer.

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23 Comments


clueliss

Posted

Positive vibes coming your way.  And for a bit there I felt like I fell into a Pinterest Board.  Then I got to the goldfish and all was better again.

7

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Palimpsest

Posted

I'm holding you in my thoughts, Buffy.  Good wishes are speeding in your direction.

4

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MarblesMom

Posted

Whatever "it" is, you got this.  Take a deep breath... 

6

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted (edited)

I'll be "handholding [you] in spirit" Buffy! I hope you like the results you get. :)

(A second story window ledge, eh?)

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
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AlwaysExcited

Posted

You have my positive thoughts and a virtual drink of your choice. 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

23 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

(A second story window ledge, eh?)

It was a long time ago...but I was brave and it still counts!

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

I still haven't done it yet and can't focus until I do but I have crucial memes to post on FJ and ...other important stuff to do to avoid sending the message I need to send.

The problem is it's like 4 sentences long.  And you all know me...I'm not much of a communicator in writing and that's a lot of words for me to use all at once.  

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Destiny

Posted

I love you b. It will work out. Somehow it will and this will all be ok. <3

5

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 minute ago, Destiny said:

I love you b. It will work out. Somehow it will and this will all be ok. <3

I know.  But if it works out by sending me into recluse mode to be the next JD Salinger (but without with writing skills, but added breasts) help me find a place where I can avoid all human contact but still have pop tarts delivered.  

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Fascinated

Posted

I say go for it. Regrets if you don't?  For sure. Regrets if you do?  Maybe, maybe not. 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 minute ago, Fascinated said:

I say go for it. Regrets if you don't?  For sure. Regrets if you do?  Maybe, maybe not. 

Yeah - I'm still hiding in my blanket fort that is FJ so I don't have to do it.  I'm a coward at heart - why isn't that a trait people love?

6

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

I did it.  I was very brave...and now I'm very ...trying not to vomit.

This will end badly for me I'm sure - but every fiber in my being was nudging me to do this to the point I couldn't think about anything else.  Like I was supposed to do this...intuition was in over drive.

Now that I was brave and now vulnerable I think my intuition is a just a little bitch who likes to fuck with me.  

 

15

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violynn

Posted

Everything I try to comment sounds very trite, Buffy.  You're in my thoughts, and while I rarely comment anymore, I *think* about fj and read here often.  I hope this ending you refer to will surprise you and not turn out badly, but in your favor.  You mean a lot to so many of us here, and we're pulling for you.

11

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Karma

Posted

Sending positive thoughts that it all works out for you, buffy :) 

5

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AuntCloud

Posted

I have the one true answer. Kittens. In particular. Some of my favourite foster kittens instagrammers. Anything is possible with kittens. So kittens to you, dahling. Kittens all around.

4

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jcanglin991

Posted

Even if it doesn't work out, and I fervently hope it does, you took a chance and did something brave. It's never bad to give in to hope and take a leap, who knows what's on the other side.

2

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nst

Posted

Go for it - I am leaving a bad toxic situation and things are already starting to go well 

I support you 

2

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ALM7

Posted (edited)

Dear @HerNameIsBuffy, Today is my first day to type a post since December. Had surgery, and the arm/hand was braced up a few months.  I was in reading mode only.

I want to share this little factoid lol.

In relation to the cosmic calendar:  The human life lasts for a blink of an eye = 0.23 Cosmic Seconds.

Buffy, you deserve the right to pursue your happiness.  I wish you well my friend, take care.

ETA: Can't wait to do memes again...I found some really sweeeet sloths! 

Edited by ALM7
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onekidanddone

Posted

This quote came into my head:

"Our fears are like dragons guarding our most precious treasures".

Ray Wylie Hubbard

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ALM7

Posted

@HerNameIsBuffy

At times...The jungle of life will annoy the hell out of us.

But...We will survive.

0ooooops !!!  :my_blush:

 

ETA: Sorry, forgot how to spoiler a dang video... I give up lol.

1

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Blahblah

Posted

@HerNameIsBuffy I'm late to this thread. Are you still in one piece? Or have we lost you down the bottom of a bottle of vodka? (I totally approve by the way. Frozen Stoli was my poison of choice back when I was an angst ridden 20-something).

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Smash!

Posted

@HerNameIsBuffy Also a late poster. I hope it did end well for you - and if not, it hurts but the pain goes away eventually. It's way better than having "what ifs" for the longest of time.

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  • Posts

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      Edited by LovelyLuna
      added something
      0