Jump to content

Trynn's Parodies

  • entries
    14
  • comments
    23
  • views
    2,985

In Which The Doodys Meet Mrs. Clifton


Trynn

1,447 views

“Mrs. Clifton, you have some visitors. I hope you have a nice visit.” Miss Jenkins said as she disappeared from the room.

 

Mrs. Clifton was sitting in a reclining chair, reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. She looked a little tired but otherwise healthy. Her hair was pulled back into a silvery bun. Her face was peacefully calm. She wore a light pink dress and matching slippers. Mrs. Clifton waved them to come closer. Howdy Doody shook her hand. “Good morning!” he said in a voice that was way too cheery for anyone at this time of the morning. “I'm Howdy Doody, and this is my wife Doodley.”

 

“I'm Bax,” said Bax, shaking Mrs. Clifton's hand.

 

“I'm Bollie,” said Bollie, shaking Mrs. Clifton's hand so hard her teeth rattled.

 

“I'm Bitch,” said Bitch, also shaking her hand.

 

“And I'm Baddie,” said Baddie, as she squeezed Mrs. Clifton's hand as hard as her little hand could.

 

Even that was enough to tire Mrs. Clifton out these days, but she decided to do what she could to remain positive. She smiled. “What a lovely family!” She exclaimed as the Doodys stared back at her with gummy vacant smiles that didn't quite reach their eyes. “I've seen your family around, and I can't believe we've never officially met.”

In fact, the Doodys kept to themselves so much that gossip about them ran rampant. Nobody really knew them very well at all, actually.

Howdy continued to smile as he told Mrs. Clifton about finding Honey. Mrs. Clifton wasn't good at hiding her emotions, so Howdy tried to reassure her. “Don't worry,” he said robotically. “No harm was done.”

That you know of Mrs. Clifton thought warily. She didn't think the Doodys would intentionally harm Honey, but with the way they treated the children sometimes.... she forced herself to pay attention to Howdy as he explained how Sharon had told them where to find her.

“It is especially hard to be away from my precious Honey,” she said out loud. I will have to have a talk with Sharon about who she gives my information to. “I know she is a very busy lady. I'm hoping to be back at my house by the end of summer.” Oh dear, that was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it? These pain pills they give me cloud my mind so much. I wish I didn't need them.

“We're sorry to hear about your troubles,” Doodley Doody said, wringing her hands. She looked at Howdy, who nodded. Doodley resumed speaking.  “We want to offer to take care of Honey until you can come home. Your house is right around the corner from us, and the children can walk there every day. They really like Honey, and would be happy to help.” Mrs. Doody clasped her hands together and bit her lip. Was it Mrs. Clifton's imagination, or did she sound nervous? Poor thing probably isn't used to leaving the house, let alone talking to strangers. Or do I just think that because the Narco is kicking in really hard? I need to lie down. I can't think.

“I'm afraid that would be a lot of trouble,” she said through a haze of pain pills.

Mr. Doody took a step closer. His smile remained fixed. “Mrs. Clifton, we would like to take care of Honey.”

Mrs. Clifton smiled. “You're all too kind.” She glanced at the bible tucked under Mr. Doodys arm. “Are you Christians?” Oh why did I ask that? That's a personal question.

Howdy Doody smiled even wider, if that were possible, and said, “Yes. I am only a sinner saved by the blood of Jesus and trusting Him.”

Mrs. Clifton closed her eyes. When she opened them, the Doodys were still there. Howdy looked like he was about to open his Bible, and just the thought of sitting through a bible study made Mrs. Clifton tired. So so tired. “I knew you were not an ordinary family,” she said. “I too love Jesus. I would be very grateful if you would care for Honey.”

Mrs. Clifton wasn't sure the family knew the same Jesus she did. The Jesus she loved would never have spanked Bollie out in public simply for asking her mother for a third animal cracker. Howdy Doody said more things, and opened his Bible and read from it, but Mrs. Clifton was so tired she didn't understand a word.  Finally, a nurse came in and told the Doody family that Mrs. Clifton needed her rest.

The nurse helped Mrs. Clifton get to bed. As she finally drifted off, she thought, I really must remember to call Sharon and give her what for.

 

  • Upvote 2

4 Comments


Recommended Comments

I decided the Doody children have B names JUST so I could name two of them "Baddie" and "Bitch."

I thought about getting more creative but there's no point, as the characters are cardboard cutouts in the novels anyway.

Link to comment
mango_fandango

Posted

I've started writing Moody/Maxwell parodies but they aren't really funny like yours. Then again I haven't written much in them so I can still stick stupid stuff in... :pb_biggrin:

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment

I'm sure yours are still very good. Lord knows mine could use a bit of work, even if they are decent as they stand.

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Posts

    • dawn9476

      Posted (edited)

      3 are married to Helferichs and 2 are married to Bowers.  If that doesn't scream arranged, I don't know what does.

      Edited by dawn9476
    • SuperNova

      Posted

      On 4/16/2024 at 4:45 PM, neuroticcat said:

      So it seems from instagram that she is in NYC filming for a special podcast. Anyone know what that is?

      She was debating parenting with a secular psychologist. She prepped for months, not because she needed it, oh no. She prepped so she could be drenched in scripture. She sounds so stupid. Part of me wants to listen but I can't stand her voice. 

      Screenshot_20240419-1945402.png.7fb13ad6496363cb6beb86170810e751.png

       

      Abbie gets tons of messages from panicked young moms who think they aren't doing things right. Maybe it's because shitty people like Abbie are always telling parents what to do. She has no clue whatsoever that she's a part of the problem. 

      God, her smug face is insufferable. 

      Spoiler

      Screenshot_20240419-1946112.png.243b41ad9015b7fbe68077d0256c0784.pngScreenshot_20240419-1946032.png.922835a246b1af65aba642259ae90760.png

       

      • Eyeroll 1
    • marmalade

      Posted

      16 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

      She’s probably old enough to remember The Passion of the Christ.

      Point taken. But does she know he's an eville CATHOLIC????

      • Upvote 1
    • QuiverFullofBooks

      Posted

      1 hour ago, marmalade said:

      Does Jinger even know who Mel Gibson is? 

      She’s probably old enough to remember The Passion of the Christ.

    • Kiki03910

      Posted

      38 minutes ago, marmalade said:

      Does Jinger even know who Mel Gibson is? 

      HEY SUGARTITS.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.