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Today, In I Read It So You Don't Have To


Destiny

1,619 views

Because I apparently hate myself, and am a glutton for punishment, I downloaded Captain Let Them Marry's book. Prepare for rants, probably fueled by altogether too much wine.

Now, if you have hung out with me at all, you probably know I'm an unashamed lover of fanfiction. That said, I am pretty damn good at NOPEing the hell out if a fic sucks. I opened the PDF, and immediately wanted to NOPE.

THIS FUCKER IS A DIALOG ONLY FANFIC! SEND HELP AND WINE.

Here's a selection of this beautiful dialog from page one:

Quote

Sakal: Yes, your pastor told us about most of the families, and gave us one of your directories with the pictures in them, so I recognized you. [Indicating the phone] So, is there something wrong with your phone?

Andrew: Yes, it won’t tell me who to call!

Sakal: [Chuckling] Your phone?! No, it won’t; it is a machine. It has no purpose, no goals. You want to call someone because you are human; you have purposes and goals. As soon as you determine your purpose for making your call, you will know who you should call... or whether you should call anyone at all.

SEND HELP.

  • Upvote 9

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Destiny

Posted

I'm probably gonna do one "chapter" per day so I don't die of alcohol poisoning. Chapter 1 features the sterotypical 'slut who tries to push the good Christian boy too far' character. It's every bit as offensive as you are envisioning.

  • Upvote 3
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Fascinated

Posted

@Destiny, I, too, thank you.  Because this is gold. C'mon, that is really, really good stuff right there.  I am salivating awaiting your next installment. 

  • Upvote 2
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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

I still can't believe he wrote a book. Be very careful @Destiny. We really need you to not die of alcohol poisoning! :56247953c05d2_32(6):

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AmazonGrace

Posted

Come on stay with the times... no one calls anyone anymore, we have whatsapp.

  • Upvote 2
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  • Posts

    • Giraffe

      Posted

      If I were her neighbor I'd assume a hoarder lived there based on the porch, even if the crap cluttering it up frequently changed. 

      • Upvote 1
    • justmy2cents

      Posted

      I think Joy is one of the siblings that was critical of Jill when she pulled away from the family the way she did, and they may not have much of a relationship right now. Don’t see any interaction on social media, though I know we don’t see everything. That would be a shame if that was the case, especially since Jill was there for Joy when Joy lost Annabelle. 

      • Upvote 1
    • Giraffe

      Posted

      It's also possible Joy was there and requested not to be photographed. 

      • Upvote 3
    • Coconut Flan

      Posted

      That was a dreadfully extreme reaction and yes therapy needing or she's among the 1 percent of most selfish people on earth.  Joy has PPD and is getting therapy.  I can see where she mighht not go to the funeral, but support Jill in other ways.  

      • Upvote 2
    • Xan

      Posted

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      8 minutes ago, MariaariaM said:

      Didn't she call them "twinbies" as a portmanteau for twin babies? Those are not babies anymore and haven't been for a while. I'm probably just being BEC about this but I do wonder if they'll be babied for as long as Janessa Rodrigues is.

      Yes, they will.  The girls are twinsies and the boys are twinbies.  Abbie thinks that's cute.  She mentioned in a story yesterday that she had to clean some poopy diapers so the boys are nearly four and she still isn't toilet training them.  They will stay babies for a couple more years.

      • I Agree 1


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