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About this blog

Just a mid-20s scientist blowing off steam by micromanaging Sims and making it as "real" as possible with-in the confines of the game - trying my first quiver-full fundie #family!

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Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! We've been away for a while, but now we're back with an eventful year 11 in the Eden saga. 

Leviticus began 2020 in a "bear phase" which is SEVERELY testing his fundie parents. (Though at least it's not a "unicorn phase" or something) Here, Eva experiences the trials of a large family as she tries to feed and dress her brood in time for church. It takes a good 2 hours plus one bear-less Leviticus in tears. 


Ah what a beautiful Sunday at True Believer's Baptist Church. We are surely in store for an uplifting message of loving thy neighbors whom are destined for Hell :my_angel:


The wholesome gang's all here (baby Ruth not pictured)...including Elsie and Cale! And Elsie has a SHOCKING UPDATE for the Edens...


She's expecting!!!!! Eva is of course, WAY more pregnant with her 9TH BLESSING, and Elsie is only in her first trimester with her first *cough Jill* but what a SWEET SISTER BUMP PIC they took together! God is so good!!!

Eva and Adam also celebrated their 10th anniversary! "I just want to thank the Lord for his greatest blessing to me- my wonderful husband Adam. He works so hard for our family and leads us all closer to Lord. He's a great daddy and also not bad to look at! I thank the Lord for you honey and hope for many wonderful years together! -Eva" "Happy anniversary Eva! How many kids do we have now? -Adam"


8 Adam. You have 8 children now.


Just kidding Adam! You now have 9 children! Welcome to the world baby Samuel! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you!

Precious baby Ruth aged up to an inquisitive toddler just in the nick of time. She and the next youngest, Judges, will probably be very good friends (both curious) until she has to be trained up as a lady. Enjoy childhood while it lasts Ruth! Come on, give us a smile!


She's so precious. 


Ohh! That looks like the face of a fundie who just found out she's been blessed by the Lord again! Get prepared for child 10 Adam! That should be an easy number to remember.


A pregnant Elsie visited the Edens to celebrate Joshua's birthday! This angelic, forgotten toddler is now a good, forgotten 4 year-old. Happy birthday Joshua! Mommy and daddy love you so much, even if they don't know who you are!


As a minor detail, some of the children went to the park and curious little Judges got to be king of his own world for a moment. Free Judges!


But back to the main story, it was getting rough y'all. 9 kids and another on the way. Messes, fights, diapers, the inexorable piles of laundry...something had to be done. 

Congratulations Genesis! For your 11th birthday we got you...a toddler! That's right! Precious first-born Genesis is being promoted to sister-mom and given a buddy of her very own- little 1yr-old Ruth. This was earlier than intended of course, but Genesis is just so mature for her age. And she loves it too! Plus Mama Eva is just far too busy with unsafe diaper changes to have time for her second-youngest. (Or third. Or fourth. Or...)



What a servant's heart you have Genesis!

Lastly, Leviticus' budding preacher's heart has been somewhat hampered by his latest fashion choices, but he's not letting that discourage him. 


"Hey Billie- for no reason at all, what's your favorite kind of cake? Also if you don't come back to youth group we're going to have to pray for your soul" - Leviticus, probably

And that's a wrap on 2020/year 11. Everyone still gets to sleep at the same time, and there's only 4 children in each room, even if newly-minted sister-mom Genesis (age 11) is sharing with 1-yr old Ruth. They just insisted on sharing. How precious. Coming up in year 12- which Johnson sister will have their baby first and will Billie ever block Leviticus' number?! For now, Eden's out! 



Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! I'll be honest...it was a rough year. Fortunately this means there were no dentist visits involved, but yeah the Eden facade is beginning to crack. 

Since it's year 10 though, let's first have a little recap of where the Edens have been. To start, Eva Johnson married Adam Eden in January of 2010 when they were both 20 years old. Adam works for the blessed company Hobby Lobby, and has been regional manager for the last 5ish years. Eva is manager of her home, except when Adam says otherwise of course! (Though he's a pretty hands-off headship.) Eva also runs a successful blog that serves as encouragement to other like-minded godly women, and brings in modest supplemental income. Finally, Adam and Eva grow their own fruits and vegetables, which has been such a blessing during those time the Edens are too poor or too lazy to feed their children. Ahem.

Adam and Eva were so excited and blessed by a honeymoon baby, Genesis, in Oct 2010. She was a fussy toddler, but has since been training to be a godly future wife and mother who loves to glorify the Lord through instrumental praise. Eva was so blessed to have Irish twins when first-born son Exodus arrived Sept 2011. He was a silly little kid, who wishes he could still be a goofball, but since he's 8 its now time for him to put away childish things and take up the mantle of fundie princedom. Second son Leviticus was born Nov 2012. He craves attention, and went from a clingy toddler to an outgoing young man (age 7) whose heart burns to turn others towards Christ. His parents are praying that Leviticus will become a preacher, and if he does we may have a brotherly fight for dominant Eden offspring. After Leviticus, second daughter Numbers was born Feb 2014. She was an independent toddler and now an introverted child. While this is very helpful to the Edens right now, she will never find a man that way, so we will see how long she's allowed to do her own thing. 

While Eva was pregnant with Numbers, her teen sister Elsie moved in to the Eden household to help Eva manage the growing quiver. She was valued above rubies, and has a particularly close relationship with Leviticus, whom she basically raised into school-age. Elsie met Cale in the summer of 2014 and began getting-to-know him, entered into a courtship Dec 2016, was engaged Nov 2017, and fulfilled her godly destiny by becoming his helpmeet in March 2018 at age 20 (Cale 21). The Lord and food brought this couple together, so it is no surprise that Cale is a food critic. However, it is surprising that Elsie is cooking in a restaurant, and they have no children yet!!! Pray for them.

The younger set of G-B-B-G Edens (fundies love patterns!) began with Deuteronomy in May 2015. What a precious girl she is. A charming toddler, and as you will learn in 2019, now a cheerful lass with a servant's heart. She makes her parents so proud with her mild demeanor and feminine appearance. Third son Joshua arrived June 2016. He is an angelic toddler who rarely cries, and turns to his siblings for everything since his parents barely know who he is. Then came the largest gap between children (16 whole months!!!) before fourth son Judges was born Oct 2017. He is inquisitive and, like Joshua, mostly left to his own devices, which is honestly the best scenario for a curious fundie child. Finally, precious baby Ruth was born Jan 2019 and is apple of her mother's eye. With that, let's report on the happenings of 2019!

None of the younger Edens were happy about little Ruth, and the bad behavior followed quickly and furiously.



The courting bench quickly became the timeout bench, and was put to good use. 


Beyond assigning punishment, Adam and Eva didn't really care and got right back to enjoying that sweet, sweet, unprotected fellowship. 



Leviticus is being a PItA tempted by Satan, and it seems Ruth is about to be replaced by a New Blessing due early in the new year!!! Praise Jesus!!! (sorry Ruth)


Over at the Tobiaseseses, Cale and Elsie were also working on their sweet fellowship. They tried for a baby, but were unsuccessful. Still no word on whether Cale and Elsie had trouble getting going in the intimacy department, are experiencing fertility problems or are preventing, but people are definitely talking about the state of her womb now. (And even I don't know the truth!)

While there have been too many tantrums to count, and possible infertility or rebellion for a beloved sister, the Edens also had two great triumphs in 2019 in addition to a new fetus. 


The first is that charming Deuteronomy grew into a cheerful 4-year-old who loves to look feminine and do dishes. Adam and Eva are so proud of her meek and mild servant's heart, and honestly she may be the best suited to fundie life of all the kids so far!

The second triumph is even more cause for rejoicing- the little Edens convinced Billie to join them for Saturday afternoon youth group at True Believer's Baptist Church! 


Ok, ok so they bribed her with cake, but she still came!


Responsibility fell to eldest girl Genesis to testify to Billie about sin, death, and Satan's hold on both their hearts. Speaking of Satan's hold...


Jesus Christ Leviticus! On church property even?!?! No more cake for you. 

And that's the end of 2019! Eva is about ready to pop with Precious Blessing #9, the Blessings she already has are running amok, the wee Edens are proselytizing to unlucky neighborhood kids who just wanted cake, and Eva cannot wait until Genesis can become a sister-mom. It's gotta be soon right? Enjoying a rare moment when everyone's actually asleep, Edens out!




Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! I had a lovely weekend with future MIL, even though I did rather miss the Edens! But honestly...there wasn't that much to miss.

Following the wedding, the Edens saw Elsie a. lot. And most of the time it was because Elsie invited them! Perhaps doing life with her #bestfriend was not as perfect as Elsie had predicted. She still has her job though, and no little Tobiaseseses on the way 6 months into marriage, so both mainstream and fundie families are watching her verrry closely. Do Elsie and Cale follow a patriarchal fundie lifestyle? Is God in control of Elsie's womb? It's still anyone's guess, and Elsie and Cale aren't talking!

Leviticus remains Elsie's devoted son strongest encourager, and went with the other kids to visit Elsie in her new home. He is even taking special care to bond with Elsie's new overlord headship, who was making mac&cheese when they dropped by! (Though only for himself. He may be gainfully employed but he's clearly not Derick Dillard #besthubbyever)


Genesis actually had feelings for a hot sec and splattered paint in protest after they left an outing with Elsie, 


 but those feelings were quickly squashed out of her with public punishment and manual labor. 


Much better! The Edens sure are training up their children in the way they should go. What an example to us all! (Though thank Rufus, no literal rod of discipline). Actually, the entire family has been really well-behaved. Granted their countenances were helped along by a sims event decreasing motive decay by 66%, but even with free will turned on the children did a lot of chores and had a lot of hugging. 


It was super weird. The Edens are definitely in that dangerous "look at that wholesome happy family maybe we should do what they're doing" phase. Adam and Eva have fortunately not realized their marketability, but the kids are starting to testify to other children on the playground. "Did you know Jesus hates you for wearing shorts? Come to our True Believers youth group to find out more!"


Yikes. Stay far, far away girls!

As far as birthdays go, Numbers (#4), the easy independent toddler, has become a "loner"/introverted preschooler. Peace be with you in that house, Numbers! 


And baby Judges (#7) grew into an inquisitive toddler. Eek. Good luck to you too Judges, and stay far away from blankets!


The children were growing so fast, and now there were quadruple bunkbeds!


And it was hilarious when Adam and Eva were actually parenting for the first time in a while and forgot whose beds were whose!! This lapse in jinder segregation was QUICKLY RECTIFIED don't you worry!


And finally, at the turn of year 9 (actually the beginning of Jan year 10), Elsie came over to 66 Goodbook Avenue to help Eva deliver her 8th baby, with Genesis (age 8) assisting. It's never too early to witness life's greatest miracle! (Though Genesis did turn her head at the critical moment) Welcome to the world baby girl Ruth! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you!


All in all, year 9 was way too peaceful for the Edens. Either there's going to need to be a shakeup, or they'll have to start going to the dentist or something (I would never!!). Questions for year 10: will the Lord open Eva's womb again? Will the little Edens convert any heathens make any friends? Will the family ever stop being so damn pious? And where are Elsie and Cale on the fundie continuum? Hope to report on these and more next time, Edens out! 

(and if you made it all the way through this episode, you deserve a drink. Preferably of the KJV-banned variety) :) 


Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! It was the start of 2018 and year 8 had ended with some truly shocking events. Baby Judges (#7) was born in October, and in December dear Elsie got engaged! Which of course means a wedding in March 2018! 

But first..


Wow they really waste no time, do they?

Ok so baby #8 is on its way, and Genesis, all of 7 years old, is the one comforting her siblings in the middle of the night because her parents are more worried about Counting On. What a great wife and mother she'll make one day.


Clearly Cale thought that about Elsie, because they're getting married!! Welcome to True Believer's Baptist Church. Their slogan is "Others will burn in Hell, but we won't!" and the Johnsons and Edens have been attending for decades.


(Notice the church coffee shop that both Eva and Elsie have worked at! :)

Cale may have been a little nervous


but the wedding went perfectly and was such a God-honoring event! Here, Elsie and Cale share their very first kiss, one at the altar of Christ. Kissing for Jesus sure is neat!


Close-up of the new Mrs. Cale Tobias in her bridal gown (shirt/skirt combo). Sadly, their town is full of sluttish women, and there is no Miss Renee, so Elsie's dress has a few more eye-traps than the Lord may have liked, but Cale sure wasn't complaining. 



And yes, that is a new home they're standing in! Cale and Elsie ran out of the church immediately following the ceremony, as you do, and went to the home Cale had purchased Debt Free on his part-time landscaping income. Since Cale and Elsie are both huge foodies, and have celebrated many precious moments at Chez Llama, the house is right next door in the restaurant district! In fact, they are even both starting jobs in the restaurant industry! Elsie would like to take her skills into a professional kitchen, and Cale likes complaining about food other people made so he will start as a food critic. What a match made in Heaven y'all!

Their place is a cozy 2Bed/1Bath home with space to expand if the Lord should bless them and open Elsie's womb! But...I have a feeling the Lord may not have unlimited access to Elsie's womb. I don't intend to play Cale and Elsie very much, so we will have to see what their family is up to together, and how fundie they stay! Tobiaseses out! 


But let's check back in with the Edens for one moment. Reality comes crashing down after the wedding as Eva sits at home, pregnant, with 3 children, 3 toddlers, and 1 baby, all under the age of 8. And I just turned free will back on. Please send Eva your thoughts and prayers -  she's gonna need 'em!


P.S. My future MIL is visiting this weekend so while I will be discussing another wedding (that is hopefully much much different than above), the next blog post may be delayed. The Edens and I will return soon though. Thanks for tuning in! :) Free Elsie!



Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! No one's life is as exciting as Elsie's right now, so this "episode" will be mainly about her. Elsie took to wearing her courtship proposal clothes following that fateful night, because they seemed lucky Providential and made Elsie feel like a pretty princess she was bringing attention to her countenance. 

As Elsie had joined the family when Leviticus was the baby, she was his mom has always shared a special bond with him. On his 4th birthday, she was the one to make the cake, and afterwards Elsie and now-child Leviticus shared a very precious moment.  


Happy birthday Leviticus! (Notice Leviticus' birth parents are nowhere in sight.) We are so glad that the Lord has turned your clingy toddler personality into an outgoing one to better share the Good News! Maybe we'll have a preacher in the family one day!

With 2 adults, 1 teen, and 3 children in the family (plus 2 toddlers and 1 baby), the bathrooms were getting pretty crowded.


But with the addition of bunkbeds, sleeping space was no problem! (custom content used: http://pixeldreamworld.tumblr.com/post/131973418125/basic-bunk-bed-frame-only-another-new-bunk-bed, http://pixeldreamworld.tumblr.com/post/156093289040/updated-fixed-matresses-for-bunk-beds-re, http://pixeldreamworld.tumblr.com/post/156411968190/functional-toddler-bunk-bed-frame-zero-footprint)


And there was another big birthday in 2017! Elsie didn't want to make her own cake, and no one else was going to make it for her, so she celebrated her birthday at brunch with sweetheart Cale and the children. First, eldest son Exodus had to meet Cale at the door and ask for Cale's intentions towards his meek and impressionable aunt. Hmmm...does Cale look different to you?


Why yes he does! I did a little research into Cale's past like any good FJ-er, and it is juicy and totally explains his descent into fundamentalism! Cale is one of only two children (how sad), and his parents are HOT MESSES. His dad is this flashy mofo who is cheating on Cale's mom, and Cale's mom is a sluttish partier. Cale's sister is also a mega harlot, and mean to boot. It's no wonder Cale wants to get out...err, turn to the Lord! Cale will have such a good testimony with his worldy background, but after being threatened by meeting with Mr. Johnson about a courtship with his daughter, Cale was convicted to lose the hair dye and look more like the upstanding Baptist male he totally always dreamed he would be. 

What a great birthday brunch! Elsie is richly blessed. And now both she and Cale are 20 years old! Totally adults and ready to take that next step.


Or at least Elsie was. She attempted to turn Cale's heart towards marriage by inviting him over for that famous godly creation, his favorite meal, grilled cheese!


Turns out, in addition to loving dogs and music, Cale is also a huge foodie! The dinner was a smashing success and since Elsie's life aspiration is to be a master chef, err submissive and meek helpmeet, they had so much to talk about!

Shortly after that, in October, an entire 16 months after #6, Precious Blessing #7 arrived! Welcome to the world baby Judges! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you!


Except no one really cares anymore, so back to Elsie. After 11 months of seeking each other's hearts and discerning the will of the Lord through godly courtship, Cale and Elsie went back to Chez Llama. Even though their server had purple hair and pants (!!!!!gasp!!!!!), love was truly in the air...I mean, the presence of the Lord was clearly felt...


And the Lord moved Cale to ask Elsie the one question she'd always dreamed of, "Will you marry me and be my helpmeet?"


Since they're front-hugging she better have said yes! (She did!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Congratulations Elsie and Cale! We are so excited for y'all and can't wait to see what the Lord does in your lives together! What a precious testimony y'all are!!!1!!!11!!!!

Well that's 2017 in a wrap! 

Oh wait.


Somewhere along the way, Joshua turned one and became an ANGELIC toddler (while Adam was overcome with the Holy Spirit. Or something)! Happy birthday sweetie! Sorry we've already forgotten about you!


So that's a wrap on 2017! Wedding bells and the loss of live-in servant Elsie coming to the Edens very soon. Except I won't blog about that until 2019 and one kid later.  

Just kidding! Stay tuned to see if Elsie can find a God-honoring t-shirt dress (don't count on it) and if the entire Eden household will fall apart without her (signs point to yes). Edens out!


Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! We ended Year 6 with a number of burning questions and I have answers for you on all fronts!

Firstly, Exodus is actually a pretty great little dude without the smugness I feared. He is diligent in his homeschooling, shares a particularly precious bond with Leviticus, and is upstanding in his walk with the Lord (whew! Had to throw Jesus in there). He is also learning how to workout from his father, who couldn't bear to witness the End Times in Spandex at the gym, so is performing calisthenics Safe At Home and getting in pretty good shape. (Genesis is doing all of the above AND a lot of cleaning, but that's her role as Godly young elementary-school girl so why mention it)


Secondly, Adam realized that in order to be the Spiritual Leader of the home that he was ordained to be, he needed to spend more time with his kids. He was much more involved in Year 7, and was actually even there for the (outdoor) birth of his 6th child! (June 2016, 13 months after #5)


Welcome to the world baby boy Joshua! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (And hope you don't mind having the only normal name of your siblings so far!)


Speaking of siblings with weird names, Deuteronomy aged up to a toddler! Happy birthday sweetie! Very relieved that you got "charming" for your toddler personality! (Her color will be pinkish)


A "good" toddler personality is no guarantee of peace though, because even good toddlers can't control their emotions all the time. Independent and obedient Numbers, the easiest kid so far, was so distressed by the addition of her newest brother that she smashed the treehouse in a fit of rage! Elsie was so embarassed that CALE, who was spending time with the family, had to witness her niece's sinful nature. (In the picture below, notice Eva coming to yell at Numbers - though not blanket-train her - and Elsie in SWEATPANTS!) Though Elsie was NIKE in her workout attire, Cale didn't seem to mind and they enjoyed time in athletic pursuits together. Elsie had of course learned her lesson, and let Cale win.


Soon after Joshua's arrival, Eva and Adam hey-hey-heyed to their hearts' content with Elsie potty-training Deuteronomy the next wall over.


So it should be no surprise to anyone anymore that Precious Blessing #7 is on its way!!! How neat!


For those of you concerned about space issues, fear not! My maximum household size is 25, and the Edens bought bunkbeds!! (custom content downloaded)  Below, see the toddler bunkbeds for Numbers/Deuteronomy and all the precious babes asleep. See? There is still lots of room to stack those arrows for Jesus like cordwood. 


The last question to be answered in Year 7 again concerns our pet-fundie Elsie. After chatting on the phone in front of their families and going to the park again with Genesis and Exodus, Cale asked Elsie to Chez Llama for a Very Special Date. (picture taken by a chaperone who was obviously there)


Though he couldn't work up the courage during dinner, in the romantic night air Cale finally asked Elsie if she would enter into a Courtship Relationship with him! What?! Elsie and Cale had only been getting-to-know-each-other/special friends for 1.5 years now. She completely didn't see it coming! 


But OF COURSE she said TOTALLY! while they sweetly held hands for the very first time. They may not be on the level of a no-touch engagement, but what a Godly example these two are. 


The Edens had a better 2016 than most, but can the happiness last? Hoping for new blessings, sweet family moments, and a successful Courtship Relationship in 2017/Year 7, Edens out!


Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! A lot has happened since we last checked in with the Edens! Here is the history of the family so far (pictured below, and ages based on time of day children born and the corresponding month in my realistic aging plan): 

Adam Eden (age 21) marries Eva Johnson (age 20) Jan 2010

Genesis (girl, purple) born Oct 2010 (That's right - honeymoon baby! *smiles*)

Exodus (boy, green) born Sept 2011 (11 month gap)

Leviticus (boy, orange) born Nov 2012 (14 month gap)

Numbers (girl, bassinet) born Feb 2014 (16 month gap)

Elsie Johnson (teenage girl in blue, born 1997) moved in with the Edens middle of 2013.


And of course, at the beginning of Year 6/2015, Eva was heavily pregnant with Blessing #5. Here she shares a precious moment with her newest baby, while largely ignoring her older children. Numbers may have the worst name but she's definitely been the best baby so far.


Numbers continued to be the perfect fundie daughter when she aged up to a toddler with the Independent trait! Happy birthday Numbers! We love your meek spirit!


Not too long after, Blessing #5 was born! (May 2015) Welcome to the world baby girl Deuteronomy! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (And again, sorry about the name) 


Speaking of babies (?), the Lord laid it on Adam's heart to lose some of the sympathy baby weight he'd acquired since marriage, so Year 6 he ventured to the gym. Alas, NIKE! All the sluttish women there made him weep, gnash his teeth, and workout in a room by himself. If he can bring himself to go back he will have to ask Steve Maxhell how to bear short shorts. 


All that getting-in-shape sure does a body good. 


And guess what?!?! Blessing #6 is on its way! (Are you surprised? No? Adam's not either. He just wants to eat his breakfast in peace.)


In 2015, Exodus turned 4 years old! Adam told Exodus how special he was, how he was the answer to Adam and Eva's prayers, and how he would do great things to bring people to the Lord.


Well Genesis, it doesn't look like Exodus will need too much manhood-nurturing to accept his role as spiritual leader and fundie heir! What a smug-looking preschooler.


But of course, I know everyone is here to learn about Elsie! She turned 18 and was FINALLY ready for her future husband to find her! Could Cale be The One? She and Cale texted for a while in a group chat, and finally met again at the park.  However, no longer living under her father's umbrella of protection, she seems to have forgotten her meek and mild spirit!


Not only did Elsie make SINFUL eyes at Cale, but she also BEAT him in Chess! (Pray for her.) Following this he left in a huff and Elsie was SEVERELY scolded on her Jezebel ways. After Elsie had sufficiently apologized and submitted herself to both Cale and her BIL/new headship, Cale was invited over to the Eden's home for some more getting-to-know-each-other. They jumped the gun and sat on the plastic courting bench though!


This setting severely confused Elsie, and after chatting about Cale's job (LANDSCAPER for a gardening company!!!!) and his love for dogs, Elsie let her feelings for Cale slip! Once again Cale left in a hurry and Elsie was so embarrassed. She thought for sure the getting-to-know-you period with Cale would end and that she would be gossiped about as "forward." Already giving away heart pieces for Jesus' sake! For the next few weeks Elsie kept her head down in servitude to God and to the Edens. She volunteered with Genesis, prayed with Adam for humility, and really just focused on her walk with the Lord. And the Lord forgave Elsie in her penance, and who should ask to come over again but Cale!!! Elsie was SHOCKED. Maybe waiting for a man to pursue her heart did work after all! This time, Elsie served Cale homemade food and agreed with him on theological points (much better) AS ADAM AND EVA FLAUNTED THEIR SPECIAL MARRIED PRIVILEGES NEXT TO THEM. :output_eeMbjt: Way to keep it classy Duggars Edens.


And Cale, like Ben, surprisingly did not run away screaming from this blatant display. Instead he started flirting with Elsie!! And they even snuck off to...take a picture together! Say "side-hug!"


And there ends year 6! Sorry that it was a bit of a hodge-podge. I hope to have a more cohesive story for year 7. Speaking of Year 7, when will Blessing #6 enter the world and whatever could its name be? Will Exodus turn out to be as much of a prick as he looks like? Has Adam checked out from child-rearing completely? Most importantly, will Elsie and Cale enter a courtship relationship? STAY TUNED! Edens out!



And ladies, let those men pursue you! ;)


Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! Year 5 started off with a large expansion for the kids' rooms in expectation of a large expansion of the family. Notice the Heaven-Bound theme to keep little minds thinking about where they go when they die *smile*


Elsie started a barista job at the family church like her sister before her, because she clearly wasn't doing enough to earn her keep,


and Genesis turned 4!! As a child and no longer a toddler, she got right down to covering her body for Jesus and starting household chores. :(


In Feb, baby girl Numbers was born! Welcome to the world Numbers! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (Sorry about the name)


In true Eden fashion, after Numbers' birth Eva couldn't wait to again give her headship what only she could provide. Yes Adam, look at the fine badonkadonk heart for the Lord your wife has.


What again Mom? Geez Louise! (Yep, Blessing #5 is on its way!)


Poor Genesis. Not only does she have to deal with an endless stream of younger siblings and start doing chores at 4, but she also has to homeschool herself. What could go wrong? (Also I would like to reassure everyone that what you see is a Creationist-approved science table. The state made them get it.)


Okay besides Genesis' trials (and there are many), the Edens had a nice thing going year 5. Elsie was the best help ever!!! and seriously bonded with the kids, the house was expanded and decorated, and Eva wrote her most successful manifesto to date, "Finding My Contentment: Abandoning my Personality for Jesus." Eva had indeed abandoned her personality and was on permanently-maxed motives. Sure, she still slept and ate sometimes but did she need to? No!!! She has turned all her needs over to God and become a great mom (but only to toddlers. Genesis is still SOL).   


According to the MIT living wages calculator (http://livingwage.mit.edu/counties/51003), a two-parent one-worker family (in Albemarle County, VA because that's where I spent my early childhood) needs 50k/year plus an additional 5k for every kid beyond the first one. So even if Elsie is paying her own way, that's 70k/year needed for the Eden 6. Adam's job was $35/hr (salary equivalent $73,000) so they were jussssst squeaking by and with a new baby on the way. But the Lord provides! Mid-year, Adam was promoted to Hobby Lobby Regional Manager and is now bringing in $110,000!!!!! While Adam probably won't progress much further in his career, if he stays a job-type person the family will finally start to have some breathing room and can stop grifting. Here's Adam in his new fancy suit.


The other big news in year 5 is that Genesis and Elsie began socializing with the outside world! Eva is really too busy to care about her oldest child and her sister-slave, so they've had some fun adventures. Especially Elsie. Elsie Elsie Elsie. Elsie took Genesis and Leviticus to the park to "give Eva a break"


and while it WAS super wholesome fun for Leviticus and Genesis, Elsie also just so happened to meet a teenager named Cale while she was there. He was playing with children on the pirate ship and clearly has a servant's heart! And if you take away his dyed hair and patch up his jeans, he actually looks a lot like the young man her parents told her to pray for (read: Republican)! During their conversation chaperoned by some elementary-school children, Eva learned that Cale loves music too! They have so much in common! Eva quickly remembered her modesty after this, but she just may have to take Genesis to the park again soon...


Goodnight Edens! Do you know where your super-sheltered super-oppressed super-horny fundie sister is? I kinda hope not! (As long as she’s safe) Edens out!




Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! At the beginning of Year 4, Eva practiced her crazy-eyed fundie love stare...


and Exodus expressed his dismay at having a new brother.


Which was really too bad because, as you may have guessed, the Edens cannot stay un-pregnant for very long. Congratulations Exodus! The Lord has opened your mother's womb again and you're going to have an even newer sibling soon! Everyone was SO excited! Especially Adam. 


Although the Edens could manage their brood sometimes, that was only on weekends or the one day of family leave Eva begged her headship to take.


When the holy penis-holder was away, Eva struggled with 3-in-3 and counting. Here, she takes a desperate nap as the toddlers play unsupervised outside and throw paint into the yard (where did they even get that?), dirty food begins to stink on the coffee table, and the baby cries in the background. #FAMILY (And yes, the Edens eventually sold that worthless giant teddy. The weird tree thing does a much better job of keeping the kids out of the way.)


Realizing that she was failing as manager of her home, Eva called up her former umbrella of protection and asked them to PLEASE ship over a sister-mom. And they did. Yay! Meet Elsie Johnson, Eva's 16-year old sister. She's an aspiring cook, loves children, loves to clean, and of course has a servant's heart! (Also notice Eva literally PRAISING JESUS for Elsie's arrival)


Elsie also totally graduated homeskool early so she can live with the Edens and help out full time. The Johnsons (Eva and Elsie's parents and some brothers) even went so far as to help the Edens build a little extension for Elsie's bedroom. How neat!!! (But don't mind Adam NIKE!!!!!!!!1!!!1!!)


Elsie took to her duties right away- cleaning, gardening, soothing the baby, playing with and teaching the toddlers, and cooking. She is such a blessing! Eva was even able to find a moment of peace to write her newest work, "Boys are Boys and Girls are Girls: a fun book for families."


Eva was also working very hard on her contentment (read: I was using cheats to max her motives) and their growing family was running very smoothly. Though Elsie was an overall net HUGE POSITIVE, she did not come to the Edens with any baking skills. So of course, this happened. Again.


Only the stove and the violin of the newly set-up SOTDRT was burned. This time, the Edens grifted for a home sprinkler system and a higher-quality stove. They are getting really sick of this shi...opportunity of growth from the Lord. After the fire, Eva and Elsie enjoyed some precious sister moments during which Elsie did not at all regret her new season of life.


And during the transition into the new year, baby Leviticus grew up! Happy birthday Leviticus! It totally makes sense that you got "clingy" for your toddler personality, since you were not AT ALL an easy baby!! (Lovely)


As you can see, Year 4 ended with Eva heavily pregnant, but no new baby Eden. For those keeping track, in 4 years that's 3.85 blessings, 1 wrong-generation sister-mom, 3 fires, an entire home extension and thousands of dollars grifted, 3 open-and-affirming tracts published, and at least 5 instances of paint-splattered lawn. Keeping their fingers crossed for a good baby this time, Edens out!


Edens Year 3: The Year with No Stove

So it's been 2 years and 2.3 kids and year 3 started with this...


Another fire! Clearly Eva should never bake again. Although no humans were hurt, the stove and neighboring counter were completely burnt, and there was no money to replace them. The Edens got very sick of autumn salad and BLTs, but in general year three was pretty good to them. While Eva put the kids to bed and did all the chores, Adam stayed up late writing reports on how Hobby Lobby was doing the Lord's work, (such as building a Museum of the Bible on the National Mall https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/01/can-hobby-lobby-buy-the-bible/419088/)


and the Lord personally rewarded him with a promotion to assistant manager! God is so good y'all! Eva was still able to actually parent her little Blessings, and Genesis retained an affinity for the bathroom in which she was born. (Also notice the stove in the background, blackened and burnt to remind the Edens that to ash they would return. Fun.)


Genesis also learned how to go down stairs PRAISE JESUS!!!


(I've Eva has since decided that climbing stairs is the godliest skill a toddler can learn, and the highest priority for little Edens. The Lord wouldn't want her to carry a toddler when she's 13 months pregnant, would He?) Speaking of which, Eva has been pregnant FOREVER. Internet forums were beginning to reach Jill-level hysteria on baby watch #3. Exodus even reached his first birthday while Eva continued to gestate. (Happy birthday Exodus! Thank God you got a "silly" personality instead of "fussy" like your older sister!)


Finally, about 14 months into pregnancy, while Eva was starving and exhausted, labor pains began. This moment also coincided with Genesis inconsolably throwing a fit, and the downstairs toilet breaking in spectacular fashion. Not even the giant stuffed teddy purposed to serve as temporary babysitter could rescue Eva from this desperate situation. (The picture doesn't do it justice guys, but things were ROUGH. Eva's hunger and fatigue were well into the red and there was only salad to eat, Genesis wouldn't stop crying, Exodus was hungry, the toilet was spewing goodness knows what, and Eva already had a -40 moodlet from being  actively in labor.)


Into all this chaos, baby #3 was born. Welcome to the world, little Leviticus! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you!


Immediately after delivery, Eva took a nap and left her toddlers to fend for themselves and open the door for the toilet repairman. 


And in the sake of honesty, I used a cheat at this point to max all of Eva's motives (satisfy all her needs). So I would actually consider two toddlers under 3 + brand new baby to be Eva's first breaking point (and understandably so!!!). But God would never give them more than they could handle, right? Eva will just need to better manage her contentment. And it couldn't be that bad - no grifting this year! Adam's promotion paid for boy's room furnishings, and the Edens were still able to get everyone to sleep at the same time. Well, except for Eva, who was of course up doing laundry. Does the Lord have a laundryroom breakdown in store for Eva? We'll just have to stay tuned!


And so year 3 ends with 3 children under 3 (how perfect!), a useless giant teddy bear, still no stove, and no new blessing immediately on the horizon. Let's see how long it lasts! Edens out!


Edens Year Two: Blessed?

Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! We left off with baby girl Genesis (#1) entering the world and a lot has happened since we last checked in. After the birth, Adam and Eva wasted no time getting back down to the romance...


Which of course meant Blessing #2 was soon on its way! Wait...already?!?!


Yes already! What a blessed couple you are. Speaking of which, Eva published her second major blog piece "Blessed: God is so good y'all" which continues to bring in modest income along with sales of their garden-grown produce (Garden of Edens) and scrap metal. This season of life was still pretty calm, and Eva and Adam enjoyed peaceful #family moments such as this. Ah young love.


(And actually, HERE ends year one of marriage. Two Sims4 pregnancies that seemed to last forever led to me look online and...yep! In Sims 4 pregnancies last for 72-84 hours AFTER notification (24 hours after conception or pregnancy test). Which means, yes it's more random like in real life, and yes pregnancies can take longer than 3 days - Genesis' was 3.5. So for a variety of reasons I'm going to have 4 simdays/year.)

But back to our story, this newlywed/1.5 baby peace was not to last. In Sims4, while babies are objects (stay in their crib, have to be moved in buy mode), toddlers have 9 different personality options - fussy, angelic, silly, clingy, wild, charmer, independent, and inquisitive. I couldn't bring myself to blanket-train even a virtual family, so I used a random number generator to determine Genesis' toddler personality. And of course I got...FUSSY! YAY! Happy birthday Genesis! You may be cute but you are already a royal pain in the...


Don't be too upset with her though. The financial situation was already pretty bleak for the Edens (I think they bought more house than they could afford), and Adam had to ask his father for $500 to furnish a child's room. Before they could afford a high chair, Eva and Adam left fruit on the floor for Genesis to eat as she played with her two toys (which in combo are enough to fill her imagination/movement/thinking skills. They're not monsters. Just super broke). 


The other bleak part about year 2 was the laundry situation. As a stay-at-home wife, Eva used to be able to keep up with the laundry using this charming setup:


But pregnancy brain kept leading Eva to forget to change the water in the wash tub, she ending up doing the same load of laundry three times, and when Genesis arrived she could no longer keep up. It got to the point that third trimester Eva was doing laundry at 3am in the attempt to provide clean work clothes for her headship.


But Adam loves Eva and is a kind headship, so he grifted $1000 from his Hobby Lobby colleagues to buy Eva a stacked washer/dryer unit for the upstairs bedroom. Automated washing and all on one floorl? Eva could've sweet-fellowshipped him, except the whole 8 months pregnant thing. She went for an over-the-top blog post instead. Behold!


So year two may have been a little rough. But that isn't to say the Edens were unhappy! Adam and Eva remain deeply in love, and while he may not help with cooking or laundry, Adam does like to play with Genesis and of course, lead her spiritually. Through childcare and education by mom during the day, and lessons on manners and personal responsibility from dad at night, Genesis is slowly learning to stop being so damn darn defiant! She also has a vivid imagination, can look at picture books by herself, likes bobbing to music (but no dancing of course), and is halfway to potty independence! (I need to get more cute pictures of Genesis. She really is not so bad.)

Of course, the biggest event of year two was the blessed night Blessing #2 was born!!


Welcome to the world baby boy Exodus! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (And how many books of the Bible we get to!)

After a few hours weeks rest, the sparks were flying again for the Edens! (Are you okay guys? That looks kinda dangerous honestly)


And year two closes with another precious blessing on the way! Yes! Eva is so excited! I think that's an excited face?  


Anyway, if you're keeping track at home, in two years it's been 2.33 babies, one fussy toddler, one fire, $1500 grifted, numerous floor fruits, LOTS of fireworks, and a lot of FamLove. This post got a little dark so I'll try to take happier pictures for year 3, and thanks for following our little (but growing!) family! Edens out!



Welcome to 66 Goodbook Avenue! Thanks to the power of Jesus the Sims 4 gallery, our newlywed fundie couple is able to use almost allll their money to move into this beautiful "3/2 Starter Home." A few modifications had to be made (like expanding the upstairs bathroom and demolishing a closed-door computer den...the horror) but now it is move-in ready for a young couple and any blessings the Lord may give them. 



And here's our fundie newlyweds. Meet Adam and Eva Eden. Adam's aspiration is have a successful lineage of quivers for the Lord, and he is self-assured, ambitious, and family-oriented. He is also an aspiring businessman for Hobby Lobby and has a very smackable face. Eva Eden's life dream is to have a large happy Christian family, and she is family-oriented, neat, and a music lover. They are both 20 years old and, even though they first spoke 8 months ago, are best friends and soooooooo in love (so much that I set the romantic decay to 20% of normal). They are also starting with a few skills thanks to their years at the SOTDRT (and sister-moming for Eva). Adam is level 2 in guitar, and level 3 in charisma, logic, writing, fitness, and handiness. Eva is level 2 in charisma, and level 3 in violin, logic, writing, cooking, and parenting (and I have also slowed skill acquisition rate 50% to account for longer lifespans). According to my timeline conversion, Adam and Eva have been married for 2 days in the picture below, and they already have the fundie stare down pat. Here, Eva gazes at her husband as he looks off into the distance (and bored). 


And they got right down to it (and hadn't bought a hamper yet oops)!


After sweet fellowship in Sims 4, one can take a pregnancy test to see if one's womb has been opened (also notice the hamper).


Eden may not sleep in a skirt but she is already expecting so take that haters!

The first year of marriage passes peacefully. Adam works his way up from mailroom technician to office assistant, plants fruits and vegetables, and works on his confidence and charisma. Eden cooks, cleans, and Manages Her Home happily. She even finds time to start a blog and publish her first major piece, "Honeymoon Baby - How to be favored by God," which brings in very modest grifting money. Here, Adam works on a speech while a pregnant Eva hand washes clothes on her knees. Hopefully someone will send her a love offering of a washing machine soon. 


But it is not all roses. Oh no! Eva was initially convicted to continue her maiden's work as a barista at her megachurch until the baby came (though the outfit required pants, the apron modestly covered any eye-traps). 5a7fa40dba5d5_02-10-18_12-07-10PM.thumb.png.4dc124420aa26f39814abb3f022a4492.png

But one day, Eva left in a rush and forgot to prepare Adam's breakfast. He had to procure cereal and juice on his own and he was Not. Pleased. At all. 


After this, Eva was convicted to quit her job and stay at home to be a better helpmeet. Eva also learned that her sister-mom cooking skills sadly did not extend to baking prowess. Fortunately the only things hurt were sugar cookies and her pride. 


All in all though, it was a great year. Eva labored lovingly at home (even while in actual labor) until at last...in the bathroom...blessing #1 arrived! Welcome to the world baby girl Genesis!!! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (But it's probably sister-moming. Lots of sister-moming)


And so, the Eden's head into their second year of marriage with a precious newborn and many more adventures (and blessings?) to come. Stay tuned!


An Intro to the Crazy

Hi everyone! Even though I don't think many people will read this, I'm super excited and super nervous to make my first "blog." I've been entertained and inspired by @singsingsing, @AlwaysExcited, @mango_fandango and others, and want to make my first sims quiverful family. But I'm also a type-A scientist and want my game to be as realistic as possible. It's a virtual experiment, if you will, of the infamous laundry room breakdown, and finding a breaking point for my poor mother Sim. So here goes:

I have both Sims 3 and Sims 4 but will be playing on Sims 4 even though I just got it a few days ago (thanks Origin sale!) because it's smoother on my computer and I'm using an awesome mod: MC Command Center. Through this I can adjust lifespan, baby's sex, etc. etc and crucially, KEEP CHILDREN OUT OF SCHOOL. I will also be using a mod that allows anyone (not just teens) to have part-time jobs, and a mod that recreates the child stove from Sims 2 and 3 in Sims 4 (gotta have those sister-moms). 

Lifespan: pregnancies last 3 days. A 4 simday/year ratio would be perfect for this realistic aging, but this is still a GAME (keep telling myself that) and that is too long for me. So I will operate as 3 simdays = one year. The extra-long pregnancy in my year ratio (12 months instead of 9) will be accounted for by abstaining after birth or breastfeeding acting as bc or whatever. Anyway:

Baby (0-1 year) 3 days

Toddler/Little Kid (1-5 years) 12 days. Toddlers in Sims4 are super dynamic and develop over time as they earn skills. So by the end of toddlerhood Sims can tell full stories, run, read toddler books, know shapes and even practice spelling. So "toddlerhood" will last 4 years. 

School-age Child (5-12 years) 24 days. Let SOTDRT begin!

Teenager (13-19) 21 days. SOTDRT largely ends. Time for part-time job or sister-moming. Thank Jesus!

Young Adult (20-35 years) 48 days

Adult (36-65 years) 90

Elder (66-75) 30 

Total lifespan: 225 days

Fertility: Parents must TFB at least once per day. With the MCCC mod I can change successful Try for Baby %. In an internet search (but don't ask for citations),  a young adult has roughly 25% each month of becoming pregnant, or 70% chance in 4 months (1 sim day). This is slightly lower than Sims default of 80% success rate. An adult ages 36-41 has 15% chance each month, or 50% in 4 months. Adult nearing menopause (42-50, 19 sim days into adulthood) has 5% chance each month, or 20% chance in 4 months. And menopause hits Sims mom at age 50 (but let's make it a 2% chance each TFB to be fun, 43 sim days into adulthood). 

Other rules: Modest dress only, girls must be in skirts/dresses until they move out. 

Boys/men will never be assigned to help with chores/childcare, though I will instagram #besthubbyever but not stop them if they automatically volunteer.

No school for children or teens. Must learn skills at home. 

Mom can have part-time job only before kids. Teen boys MUST get part-time job at 13 (retail, Chik Fil A, manual labor only) and can also make money through hobbies. Teens and adult women can have a part-time job at 16 (retail, Chik Fil A, barista, babysitter)...but only if they're not needed at home (SUPER doubtful) and can make money through traditionally feminine hobbies as well.

If I'm super desperate, I will add to household a farmed-out sister-mom from another family. :) 

And finally, based on my naming scheme I will control the baby's sex (but not the number- like twins or anything). 

And if you made it through all that, here's a picture. Happy Friday! Thanks for being an awesome community.



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