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All Shall Know the Wonder

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About this blog

The Assorted Ramblings of Purple_Summer

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purple_summer

This post is brought to you by the amazing homemade ice cream at Good N Plenty and dedicated to @Mela99 This does not make up for my bitterness about not going to Shady Maple. 

 

Today was........something. I'm remembering why I don't sign up for church-related things anymore. As a child, I always wanted to see a show there and I figured you're never too old for cute goats. I was slightly confused when I found out we would be seeing a production of Jonah but it ranks pretty low on the "potentially problematic" bible stories for me. 

BOY WAS I WRONG. 

I'll start off by saying the set design for the show was FANTASTIC. I want to hug the entire production team (especially the stage manager calling all those cues!) and feed them the baked good of their choice. The music is sung live over a pre-recorded instrumental track so there were a few timing issues but nothing that made the show unbearable. 

I'm lying, there's one song where the harmonies are really grating. 

Anyway, I'm sitting semi-enjoying the show, smelling too many roasted almonds, and crying over the worst $3 cup of watery iced coffee for all of act one. I shoot off a few texts to family members who I thnk would enjoy the show and settle in for act two. Now they open the show by explaining that they take some creative license with the storyline, biblical purists need not apply. Cool. I was not prepared for what was coming next.  

(White) Jonah is projected out of the whale and onto.....an island full of brown natives. These are nice natives (they give him a donkey and clothes!) but they're definitely presented as an "other". Ok...slightly perturbed but we can still recover.

S/N: Being surrounded by whale stomach acid for 3 days turned Jonah's hair from brown to boyband blonde. Seriously, it's in the script.

Jonah Timberlake rides up to the gates of the city full of "evil people with no good in their hearts" who live by the motto "For the honor of Ninevah NEVER SHOW MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" full of condensation general disgust. Hmm, I wonder what kind of evil no good people he'll find within the city limits? 

Black People. 

Brown People. 

People in shades darker than "HOA Beige" because of course brown people are ALWAYS THE PROBLEM amen. 

The king and queen of Ninevah (and their brown child) are the only major speaking roles portrayed by persons of color in this entire damn show.  

I'm pissed. I'm literally shaking. 

The Ninevites sing songs that are more gospel than musical theatre. I just shake my head.  

Honestly, don't ask me any of the finer plot points of this section because I was about 300% done by then. After Jonah's little vine dies I'm hoping they do an awkward curtain call and call it a day. Of course, you can't end the show on this wonderful (seriously, the moral is prophet or not- don't be an asshole) without having an appearance from the most important figure in American Christianity.

 White Jesus™ shows up. 

That's right folks! No longer relegated to the much shorter New Testament, White Jesus™ makes an appearance just in time to teach Jonah a lesson and then walk off, hair blowing in the breeze. 

If I had been any closer to an exit I would have walked out. They sing one last song in true curtain call form and then White Jesus™ makes another appearance just in time for the final pose. Then they do an abbreviated altar call. 

TL;DR White Jesus™ is white and colored folks are evil.

purple_summer

Coloring for Jesus?

While walking through my local walmart this week I stumbled upon this gem..

2016-02-23_16.18.44.thumb.jpg.375a6afdd8 

Naturally I wondered just how "Christian" this could be. Turns out it's mostly a regular coloring book but with Bible verses that may or may not be related to the image on the opposite page. 

2016-02-23_16.18.54.thumb.jpg.418f7c5c4d2016-02-23_16.19.02.thumb.jpg.b5cd6e599156d3a670d2898_2016-02-2316.19.07.thumb.j2016-02-23_16.19.15.thumb.jpg.3ac11b19f456d3a67891ec4_2016-02-2316.19.20.thumb.j56d3a67b7ec42_2016-02-2316.19.40.thumb.j56d3a67e7acb5_2016-02-2316.19.50.thumb.j2016-02-23_16.20.13.thumb.jpg.b5df37cd94 

I would have bought/scanned the whole thing but it was $10 and I could think of several other things I could do with that money. 

 

As a bonus, here's a fun book currently being featured at LifeWay (southern baptist owned bookstore) 

56d3a6f8d8b0c_2016-02-2018.12.07.thumb.j

purple_summer

For Chat People Doing The Sims Challenge

Because I clearly have nothing better to do with my workday I've decided to lists some mods/houses/custom content you can use for the challenge. Mostly starter houses and some other items not found in the base game. Some of these need expansion packs, it should be noted in the description. I tried to pick fairly shabby houses so you can "leave and cleave" in true fashion! There are even a few reminiscent of grifted RVs. Everything is for the sims 3 (that is what we chose right?) but I can find things for 2 or 4 if you want/need them.

 

Homes

Starter House- Plan 235 

[Starter home] Your First House - 2BR, 1BA

Low-wealth shacks- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=547861 

1650 Elin Ct. - Basegame- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=563366 

Base Game Two-Story Starter- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=562257 

Comfy, Cozy-http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=555486

Sterling - 1Br, 1Ba-http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=557481

Two Tone Wonder - Base Game & No CC http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=555610

Base Game Starter Trailer- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=544658

Rusticozy (base game starter, no CC) http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=528496

Not So Mobile Home - [A Base Starter]- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=525428  

Livable school bus- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=416060

 

Tools/Mods

Nraas master controller- http://nraas.wikispaces.com/MasterController

This allows you to have more than 8 sims in a house, be self employed, among other things.

Car Sales Career (hello Duggar Automotive!)- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=531096

Monk/Nun part time Career-  http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=448207

Priest Career- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=428999

Pregnancy Progress Controller - new version 10/31/2013- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=485285

 

Community Lots & items

Playable harp- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=399928

Chinsberry Church- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=517720

Church of the Holy Sim- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=479811

Prince of Peace church and Hall - http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=391019 

St Mary City Church- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=349465

St Simian-In-The-Brothel (too funny to not share)- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=378492

Sunset Valley Military Base (aka your own ALERT camp!)- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=367627

Camp Crystal Lake- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=390152

50s dresses part one- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=431187

part two- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=431191

Circle skirt dresses- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=454905

Child's jumper, frumper style- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=369345

Long skirt with apron- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=360173

Decorative crosses- http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=420985

 

 

If anyone is using the sims 2 there is a "pastor" career mod (the descriptions are hilarious) -http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=234337 and http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=399836

 

If anyone has some to add or ideas let me know and I'll add them to this post.

 

purple_summer

By Popular Demand

If you've been in the chat room (which you should because we're awesome) at all this week you have probably either heard this story or heard a reference to this story. I'm posting it here after receiving numerous requests to do so.

 

Last week was a friend's bachelorette outing. Naturally we ended up at a sex shop. This is a really nice place with wonderful staff and quite the range of toys. We spend some time perusing the usual "bachelorette" items- sparkly vibrators, skanky lingerie, penis ring toss. Fairly tame stuff. Friend indicates that she really wants to buy a dildo. No big deal, we're all adults here and sometimes a girl has needs. After looking through several racks of products she still hasn't quite found something that fits her desired....dimensions. 

Roughly an hour later we walk out of the store and she is the proud owner of a 10 inch long 2-3ish inch thick dildo. She originally chose one that was approximately the size of a small newborn before the kind shop owner explained that it might not be quite what she wants... We go about the rest of our evening and I head home after dinner.

As soon as I walk through the door I receive a text message simply stating "well I might have to go to the ER. Not enough lube." My friend was so excited about her new toy that she forgot to take the proper precautions. Good news is that she's fine, just some minor bruising and a hit to her pride.

Moral of the story? Don't go long and wide at the same time.

 

 

For those of you who have missed it, here is the link to the full twitter story that is currently going viral- http://imgur.com/a/WDwyW



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