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About this blog

A collaborative effort from Free Jinger members to review and recap books, movies and tv shows.

Entries in this blog

Flowers in the Attic: Table of Contents

Here is the Table of Contents for Flowers in the Attic. New recaps will be linked as they are hastily written.  Part One Prologue and Good-Bye-Daddy. The Road to Riches The Grandmother's House The Attic The Wrath of God Momma's Story Minutes Like Hours To Make a Garden Grow To Make a Garden Grow (Part II) Holidays Holidays (Part Two) The Christmas Party Christopher's Exploration and Its Repercussions The Long Winter, and Spring, and Summer   Part Two

Maggie Mae

Maggie Mae

Yeah, we typed that

Christmas jammies "Crunchy panties sound awful" "I'm about to punch some motherfucker in the throat" "Where will I put my chickens?" Tiny House Hunters (the houses, not the hunters) Our personal WWYD moments - heartbreaking "My boobs don't even get wet" The condom scenarios "What kind of gross food?" "I don't mean up the butt!" Olympic village sexcapades "TBH I just need some dick" Nudes in chat?        

MarblesMom

MarblesMom

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 6.17 - Waiting For Duffman

Duff beer for me! Duff beer for you! I'll have a Duff - you have one too! No opening credits to speak of. Couch gag: The Simpsons run into their living room, are sucked through a portal over the couch, and are returned to the living room, where they repeat the loop over and over. Finally, Bart demolishes the portal and enjoys the living room to himself (except for Homer's head). Springfield is having a bike festival, which brings all of the citizens out cycling in their unique an

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.9 - I Won't Be Home for Christmas

It's the annual Simpsons Christmas Episode! Come on, everyone, let's Simpsons Christmas Boogie! We get a snowy title, with the Texan riding past on a sleigh flown by bulls. Chalkboard gag: "Reindeer Meat Does Not Taste Like Chicken". Springfield appears to have turned into the North Pole, though curiously, the nuclear plant/toy workshop seems to be counting down to Orthodox Christmas. Everyone has elf ears, Maggie gives baby Gerald a Christmas gift instead of threatening him, Marge an

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.8 - Covercraft

Hello hello, people of the Simpsons universe! In our penultimate episode before the Christmas break, we ponder the nature of music and aging. The show has tackled this subject with aplomb before, so it's not like they're going to screw this one up. Right? ...right? No opening credits. Couch gag: The family bumps into each other en route to the couch, distracted by their smartphones. Moe gets into a fight with his neighbour, King Toot (of the eponymous music store), over du

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.7 - Blazed and Confused

Oh, boy. Is Homer going to get into weed - again? Is Bart going to commit arson - again? Come on, show, try and thrill me. Show opens with Kang and Kodos in a flying saucer, wearing costumes, because they took too long to get dressed and Treehouse of Horror aired already. Cut straight to the couch gag, where the Simpsons' couch turns into a ski lift. The family is brought back dishevelled and injured. The principals of the school district are gathered at SES for the "dance of th

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.6 - Simpsorama

Well, if this isn't the season of crossovers! For someone who griped endlessly about "A Star is Burns" because of its crossover with The Critic, Matt Groening seems awfully beholden to his corporate superiors these days. But no matter - let's enjoy this animation combination for what it is. Some of you probably watched this season's crossover with Family Guy, a lark one could describe as amusing but not exactly groundbreaking. Now, welcome to the Simpsons-Futurama crossover, which roughly eight

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.5 - Opposites A-frack

So, yeah, guess what's happening this week? JANE FONDA. I mean, usually their guest stars are pretty gimmick-y (and they're advertising this one to the hilt), but she is so talented that I'm actually looking forward to this one. It's also her first voice-over performance! Apparently there's supposed to be a plot and stuff, too, but they haven't been so hot on those lately, so let's skip to the important part.   No credits, just a title card. I know, not even a couch gag? Marge ha

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.4 - Treehouse of Horror XXV

Well, it's that time of year again! Perhaps the only episode of the season reliably worth checking out, Treehouse of Horror is a glorious celebration of all things creepy, kooky and altogether ooky. Some years have been funnier than others, but in general, the Halloween episodes boast a high quality and a tremendous novelty factor. In fact, it's hard to imagine Halloween without them. So tonight, fun-sized candy bars and mini-bags of chips in hand, let's all get together to mark a quarter-centu

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.3 - Super Franchise Me

You know what The Simpsons is missing? A drinking game! It makes a lot of sense. Every episode is more or less the same these days, and that gives us a great framework under which to make some quirky rules. Sure, there's probably a few dozen floating around the Internet, but there isn't one written by CFK. Play along with me, and maybe between all of us and a couple of bottles of vodka we can scrape up some marginal interest in this episode. We only get a title screen (with Bat-Burns!) be

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.22 - Mathlete's Feat

So this week CFK will get a little break, as every show goes off the air save Community, and that's okay, because you know there's always time for Alison Brie. Finale Week kicked off last night with the much-anticipated, and glorious, Mad Men finale. Can the Simpsons measure up? Well, no, but at least we can have fun with what may be our last glimpse of Harry Shearer. The couch gag kicks off with characters from Rick and Morty, a show I've never seen, crashing into the Simpsons h

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.21 - Bull-E

As of next week, this sorry season finally comes to an end. I have to say, even by latter-day Simpsons standards this one was pretty wretched. Can they redeem themselves in two episodes? Ummm...   No real opening credits. Couch gag: Maggie kicks soccer balls at Homer. Wait, what? That's not a proper couch gag! What fresh hell is this? Come back here so I can set you adrift on an ice floe, writers! Groundskeeper Willie unexpectedly quits, having hired crooner Johnny Mathis i

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.20 - Let's Go Fly a Coot

So, the show has been renewed for two more years. Aren't you just SO excited. Couch gag: The Simpsons are penguins on an ice couch, except for Homer, who is a walrus (and eats them). Tasteless AND factually inaccurate! Milhouse has a surprisingly well-attended birthday party, over-the-top as many modern birthdays are - think gigantic bouncy castles and elaborate gift bags. Kirk admits that they sold their house to pay for the party. And yeah, it took me a minute to remember

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.2 - The Wreck of the Relationship

After mercilessly killing off a character we barely remember last week, where can the Simpsons go next? Why, destroying a relationship, of course! Probably for five minutes, at least. Let's find out which Springfield couple, friendship or family will be torn apart. No opening credits. Couch gag: The family finds Itchy and Scratchy fighting on their couch. Itchy is kicked out, and Scratchy moves in, but proceeds to trash the house. Homer brings back Itchy to kill him, ensuring a happy

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.18 - The Kids Are All Fight

Yeah, yeah, another Simpsons episode. This week we get to go back in time! Again. To Bart and Lisa's early childhood! Again. It's hard to get enthusiastic this far into the game. Come on, writers, wow me. We actually get real opening credits! Chalkboard: Lisa writes the words, "I will not pay my sister to do my punishment". Bart watches. Lisa plays the harp in the school band this time. The couch gag shows the Simpsons as pegs playing the Game of Life, hitting such squares as "u

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.18 - Peeping Mom

Well, we're back from our month-long hiatus. What fresh hell have Groening and Co. dreamed up for us now? Onward! King Homer climbs up the Empire State Building as we read a title card. The Simpsons start as kernels on a heated couch and pop into shape. Marge goes to a rip-off of Apple to get her broken phone looked at. On the way home, as she is complaining about all the creeps posing as employees, she notices that her neighbourhood has become a scene of destruction. Lou explain

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.16 - Sky Police

Yeah, this is the episode I moaned about last week. Well, uh, maybe they've gone concept? Maybe this will be the greatest artistic endeavour the show has ever tried. Or maybe it will just be stupid. You decide. I suppose I can't start this review without mentioning the death of Sam Simon, who passed away this week of cancer. You saw his name on the credits of every episode (or Sam "Sayonara" Simon when it was Treehouse of Horror), but he actually left the show in the first few seasons

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.15 - The Princess Guide

The title inspires hope in me of a surprise cameo by Robin Wright. The reality is probably far harsher. Can you handle it? The opening features a cameo from Princess Penelope, oh Jesus no let's not bring back Anne Hathaway. The Simpsons are printed out of one of those old-timey (dot matrix?) printers, but get stuck in a paper jam - a nice run-of-the-mill couch gag. Lisa is accompanying her dad to Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work Day, which makes Bart remark on how there is no equi

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.14 - My Fare Lady

Wait, didn't they do their "My Fair Lady" parody about ten years ago? So what's this going to be about? Oh, okay, Marge driving a taxi? I guess this isn't the worst. Will keep the vodka close just in case. For some reason, the opening credits are in 8-bit. This is quite well-animated, provides some gags and contains more references to past Simpsons episodes and classic video games than I can keep track of. Fans will enjoy it, but make sure to rewatch a couple of times. Then, be

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.13 - Walking Big and Tall

Whatever could our favourite family be surprised about? No, seriously, it's been 26 seasons, nothing could shock them now. Maybe someone wrote a decent episode. Ralph Wiggum is Cupid! Unfortunately, there are no other opening credits to speak of. The couch gag involves the Simpsons being made into Sushi, then eaten in a trendy restaurant. For some reason, we go back to thirty years ago, where we hear a report on the disappearance of Springfield's Soviet sister city, Springograd.

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.12 - The Musk Who Fell To Earth

Yes, this is an episode where Elon Musk guest stars as himself. It's okay, you can cry. Let it out. No opening credits - just a title card and straight to "created by Matt Groening". I can't wait to see what scintillating writing was deemed more important than the couch gag. Lisa is dismayed when a bald eagle devours all the birds at her new feeder. The vicious creature even attempts to take Maggie, but is satisfied with Homer's hair instead. Bart and Milhouse manage to tr

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.11 - Bart's New Friend

I'm still wary after last week's abomination of an episode, but I will soldier on. Lend me your ears, fellow FreeJingerites. And let us pray, fervently, that this episode written by pre-Freaks and Geeks Judd Apatow can heal our broken fan hearts. Aaand we get "Snowmen don't have carrot penisies" as our chalkboard quote of the week. Dear god, someone pass me a Flaming Moe so I can repress this. The couch gag is somewhat more tame, parodying "Goldilocks" with Homer, Marge and Bar

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.10 - The Man Who Came to Be Dinner

That's right, you guys - it's the Simpsons-Are-Going-To-Rigel special, featuring everyone's favourite aliens-cum-presidential-candidates, Kang and Kodos! Yes, yes, despite myself I'm excited, too. Will anyone get eaten? How about probed? Is a half-assed Orson Welles imitation going to narrate? So many questions, and the answer is before us. Let the intergalactic hijinks begin! Short opening credits - just the title with Otto sliding down a rainbow. The couch gag involves the Simpson f

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 26.1 - Clown in the Dumps

Before we get into the premiere of The Simpsons' twenty-sixth (!) season, a couple of notes. First, the famed character death is supposed to occur this episode, which was moved from last season (and no, it was not Mrs. Krabappel, her untimely demise having been forced by Marcia Wallace's sad passing). Based on the episode's title and the hint last year, I'm guessing it's Rabbi Krustofsky. Second, just in case you've been on Mars lately, the Simpsons-Family Guy crossover is playing tonight,

crazyforkate

crazyforkate

Worldly Distractions: The Simpsons 25.9 - Steal This Episode

  While the Simpsons hasn't really been funny for a good decade now, they still turn out an occasional gem. Will it happen this week? Let's find out.   No opening credits to speak of - just the clouds. Homer is dismayed to have the new Radioactive Man reboot spoiled for him at the watercooler. In fact, everyone's talking about the new movie, so he has to hide all over the plant, and then the city. Even Reverend Lovejoy spoils it in his sermon. Why Homer hasn't gone to see the movie b

crazyforkate

crazyforkate



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      47of74

      If I had the scratch this would make a good party bus....

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    • Kiki03910

      Kiki03910

      Penumbral eclipse!
      https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/24/world/full-march-worm-moon-penumbral-eclipse-scn/index.html
       
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      Kiki03910

      It's almost MLB Opening Day! WOO FUCKING HOO!
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      D'oh!

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      47of74

      Went here tonight for dinner

      They have a kind of Juicy Lucy called the Blucy - which is a type of Juicy Lucy with blu cheese.  When my mom, sister, brother in law, and niece were up last weekend we went to the 42nd street location in Minneapolis.  Tonight I went to the Como Ave location instead.  Yeah, it hit the spot.
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