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It's baseball playoff time...
So the MLB regular season has ended and the playoffs start tomorrow. Thanks to the Giants sweeping their series against the Dodgers this past weekend, my Cardinals are out of the playoffs for the first time since 2010. Because I love baseball, I'll watch anyway. Now I have to decide which team to root for.
The teams playing for it all are:
American League: Orioles, Red Sox, Blue Jays, Rangers, Indians
National League: Cubs, Mets, Giants, Dodgers, Nationals
I'm a National League fan all the way; so by process of elimination, cross off the American League teams. I grew up watching the Cubs because my family, especially my dad, liked them. Watching those games led me to watch other National League teams. Besides that, I didn't like American League games because they used the designated hitter, which (to me) simplified the game and removed a level of strategy. (However, if I had to choose an American League team, I guess I'd choose the Blue Jays because I saw them in Toronto earlier this year and had fun, even if my poor arms fried to a crisp because some certain dummy *points at self* didn't bring or buy sunscreen that day.)
Re: the National League teams... (and I will probably root for whichever one of them makes it to the World Series)
Nationals: Nah. No attachment to them. I only know who a few of their players are and have no strong feelings about them either way.
Dodgers: Nah. See: Nationals, although I do like Clayton Kershaw. Also, if they'd won even one game against the Giants this weekend, the Cardinals would have at least played the Giants in a tiebreaker to determine who'd go to the Wild Card game. Thanks for nothing, Dodgers. That, and they didn't even give Vin Scully one last chance to broadcast a winning game this weekend. Nice sendoff...not.
Mets: Up until last year, I'd have said no way in Hades. There's a back story there I won't go into. Suffice it to say that the hate is gone and I could like them again. They're an interesting group and they've overcome A LOT of injuries to make it this far. If they make it to the World Series, I'll pull for them. Until then...probably not.
Giants: Normally I would pull for them. Normally I like them. But I'm feeling a bit not-fannish (yeah, I know, that's not a word) toward them after they went out and won every night the Cardinals won during that last week of the season. Couldn't they have lost even one game to give the Cardinals a chance? Besides that, even though I know it was in their best interest to cut Tim Lincecum loose after last season, dang it, I liked him! To me, they're not the same team without him. Maybe better, maybe worse...but to me, less interesting.
Cubs: Hmmm. Until about 4 years ago, they would have been my no-brainer choice. You see, I grew up a Cubs fan, as I said above. Dad was a Cubs fan and the family followed. Several times, we all hopped on the bus and the L and rode up to Wrigley Field to watch them play. Eventually (except for one year when my sister went with me instead), it was just Dad and I who went. Later, I went alone. In 1989, when they made the playoffs, I sat on the phone from Friday evening to late Sunday afternoon trying to get through to Ticketmaster to get tickets. I finally got through, got 4 single seats for Game 1, and then proceeded to watch them lose to the Giants 11-3. Yes, I was a diehard Cubs fan. But that love affair went sour along about 1997, when I worked for a creep who had bought season tickets along with a bunch of his business cronies. One afternoon, the jerk ordered me to go up to Wrigley and scalp his tickets for that game on the street near the ballpark. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. Another day, he invited me to take the afternoon out of the office and go to the game, only to leave after a few innings and return to the office, where he ripped into me so badly that I was catatonic the rest of the day and that weekend. I never went to another game until 2003, when I took my now ex-boyfriend to a game. (He is one guy I should have just stayed friend with and not gone any further. But I digress.) Eventually, I got fed up with their losing ways and what appeared to me to be apathy on ownership's part. Did they not care about the product they put on the field? Didn't look that way to me. Of course, I didn't realize what they were doing (intentionally gutting the roster and rebuilding from the bottom of the farm system on up to improve the team)...I had just had enough. I was done. I wanted to follow a team that I could tell knew what it was doing.
In the meantime, Dad passed on; my oldest sister and her family became Cardinals fans; my other sister followed her (my brother and other sister never showed much interest in baseball); and I moved away from the Chicago area and into Cardinals territory. I'd always liked the Cardinals, even though they and the Cubs were bitter rivals; so when I decided I'd had enough of the Cubs once and for all, it was obvious to me which team to follow. (Interesting story: one day, maybe Christmas 2013?, I announced to everyone that I was officially a Cardinals fan. My nephew ordered me to walk over to him; when I did, he swept me up in a big hug and said, "Welcome home.")
The Cubs and the Cardinals are bitter rivals. My sister used to go to Wrigley when the Cardinals played the Cubs there and says she, as a Cardinals fan, always got beer dumped on her. I turned my back on the Cubs. It wouldn't be right for me to decide to root for them now...that is called being a fair-weather fan and that's not right, not after I said I was through with them. Yes, they're interesting to watch. Yes, they seem to be having so much fun; and I have to admit, I've watched a few more games than I should have watched.
So...which team do I choose? I've got until Friday to decide. LOL
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Edens Year 23: Exodus' Exodus
Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue!
Year 23, 2032, was a big year for the Edens! Well, for some Edens.
First up, Elsie, our auxiliary Eden. Even though she's still nervous about alcohol she took a class on Mixology and received a promotion for her efforts! She is now head caterer. Yay! She also went out with some coworkers and acquaintances after work. Despite the Woman In Overalls From the Vet's Office being real cute, Elsie didn't make any big connections, but was still happy she put herself out there.
And Romano Johnson finally finished his science project! He was so so proud. An almost-Eden getting extra credit in a science class?! Amazing.
Now onto the Edens proper. Proverb Eden, #17, was born Feb 2031, and despite plenty of God-honoring, Biblical fellowship,
Eva's womb remained closed throughout 2031 AND all of 2032. Since Eva was 41 during Proverb's birth, her fertility decreased again to 20% (Try For A Baby success was set at 80% ages 20-35, and at 50% 35-40). She's still got a shot at 1-2 more Edens before her cutoff at 45, but time is ticking!
Unfortunately, Adam and Eva still have 17 children! In 2032 Ruth, now 14, finally got her teenage birthday celebration (a full year late) #eighthchildproblems! She's the one who started growing her hair out for Nathan Bates 10 years ago, and I'm pleased to report she sports a shorter, more natural 'do now. She's very artsy and loves painting and design. (Oh! And Jesus. Naturally.)Proverb also aged up into a toddler but no one knows anything about her or even took a picture because #seventeenthchildproblems. Maybe Eva will start paying more attention now that Proverb might actually be the caboose on this crazy train.
Favored first child Genesis had a milestone year as well. She was promoted to the intermediate course for music education (level 2 of entertainer career) and licensed her first song! It was a haunting melody entitled "Smelly and Unlovely." shiver
We'll get to #2 in a bit (giggle), but what about #3, Leviticus? Well there were ups and downs. He attempted to make dinner for the family, but that's wimin's work!!! How could he have known to keep watching the oven?
This time it was not Genesis, but a different Eden daughter (Deuteronomy, #5) who extinguished the blaze. You go girls!
But back to Levi. He and Exodus met up with younger bro Judges (#7) at ALERT Academy for some Manly Bonding. Behold the ALERT campus.
Note: I didn't make this. I downloaded this "military barracks" from the Sims gallery. And filled it with fundie men including Kyle Vera and now Judges Eden.
Exodus, Leviticus, and Judges punched bags and swam in basement pools as only Godly Young Men can do. It's nice that Judges isn't totally banished.
And the reason for this Manly Men's retreat? Exodus was soon to be a groom.
Exodus, 20, was set to marry Maya Mahan, newly 19. They courted for two years and were childhood friends. Maya is a creative, geeky young lady who loves the outdoors, painting, her infant brother, and her parents. (Oh yeah. And Jesus.) And while no one bothered to learn Maya's last name during the courtship, it turns out the Mahans were LOADED. Maya's childhood home was so beautiful...
That it made a lovely spot for a wedding!
Maya got ready for the big day in her childhood bedroom. How very symbolic. (The baby is legitimately her brother! No shenanigans here)
But what emerged from the house was no longer a child, but a beautiful bride. In the Mahan's culture, white is the color of mourning, but Maya also wanted to respect the Eden's dress standards and compromised with this absolutely lovely bridal gown.
The wedding was beautiful!
(Note that Maya, typically with a pixie cut, grew out her hair the tiniest bit in another compromise, but she still looks stunning. You guys, I think I have a crush on a digital woman.)
Elsie was even the caterer!
After the wedding, the new Mr. and Mrs. Eden went on their honeymoon to Granite Falls! Since they fell in love under the stars in Salvadorada and were engaged on a camping trip, it made sense to honeymoon in the great outdoors as well.
It was a cozy little one-bedroom without a stove or even hot shower,
But that didn't stop them from enjoying Exodus-prepared BLTs together.
And even though Exodus kept getting distracted by the first tv he's ever been allowed to watch,
he was still more than ready to enjoy all the benefits of marriage with his bride.
And unless the Lord intervened, there would be a very low chance of a Honeymoon Blessing. At least for tonight...
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And while a few more things happened at the very end of 2032, I think I'll save them for next entry as that was a lovely place to end. Congratulations to Exodus and Maya and until next time, Edens out!
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Anyone want a toddler
Currently trying to find what gets vaseline out of a toddlers hair my toddler joy got into the vaseline and I'm wondering how the heck im going to get this out of her hair. How many washes will this take to come clean this is gonna be a long night
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The One in Which Aunt PJ Fakes it 'Til She Makes It
If you’ve read my posts on FJ for a while, you’ve probably heard me mention that I have scoliosis. I underwent a spinal fusion when I was fourteen, and I’ve had a fourteen-inch titanium rod with screws and hooks holding it into place against my spinal column. As you can imagine, this sometimes gets uncomfortable.
SpoilerNow, from what we can tell now, I inherited the gene from my mother’s side of the family—because guess who also has scoliosis? That’s right, everybody’s favorite, Aunt PJ. To be clear, the difference between my scoliosis (and subsequent surgery) and Aunt PJ’s scoliosis is something like this:
Necessary disclaimer: I don’t doubt that Aunt PJ’s scoliosis causes her discomfort—I’m sure it does. But, as you can see, it’s akin to comparing a deep paper cut with someone who just cut their finger off in a cigar cutter. I can't tell you what I wouldn't give for a ten percent curve, even after my surgery. That doesn’t stop Aunt PJ, though, and she wants you to know she’s in horrific. pain. every. day. Of course she does.
SpoilerGiven that we have the same diagnosis, it should come as a shock that when I had my surgery (and subsequent lengthy hospital stay and recovery time), Aunt PJ didn’t reach out to me once, either through card or phone call. But that’s Aunt PJ for you—if it’s not about her, it’s not important.
SpoilerAfter the death of my grandmother, my mother moved back to her home state and moved into the family home to help settle the estate. As I’ve mentioned previously, Aunt PJ also lived there with two of her three children. This was also my first year in college, and I couldn’t come home from school to visit my mother. Why, do you ask? Because there wasn’t a decent bed available to me to sleep in, a requirement in my life post- surgery. That’s right, a woman with scoliosis wanted me to just sleep on a cot. I ended up not visiting my mother for a year, until she moved. Four beds in the house and no one could give one up for a couple of nights so I could sleep and still walk in the morning.
SpoilerOver the years, Aunt PJ’s scoliosis has supposedly gotten worse. She posts frequently about her pain and discomfort on Facebook and in person, eliciting sympathy from kinder-hearted folk than me. She now visits a chiropractor and refuses to sit on soft seating such as sofas and armchairs. Several times, Aunt PJ sat on a dining room chair and explained to me that her scoliosis kept her from sitting on the couch…while I was sitting on the couch. Trust me, Aunt PJ, if my twisty straw of a back can handle it, so can yours.
SpoilerSo each and every visit I have with her, I get to hear about her wretched, pain-filled life (in which she is healthy enough to travel long distances, sit and stand for extended lengths of time, and participate in physical activities like yoga and going to the gym--you know, stuff that is difficult for me to do). And does she ever ask me how I’m managing? Yeah, you have two guesses and the first one doesn’t count.
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Latest Entry
Oops
I'm sorry that I've not come back with this blog and tips and tricks!
I took a vacation - the first vacation I'd taken in 8 years! - to Seattle in March, where I got to finally meet my best friend in person, and we got to go see Hamilton on tour! Then I fell into a Stardew Valley on the Switch rabbit hole, and I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and then... well. Work. Lots of work, lots of turn around. And Cubs games on TV to watch, and my boys in pinstripes kind of take precendence since I get to watch so few games because of work and refusing to shell out $90 a year for MLB.tv.
I might change my focus of this blog (because I have a fafillionty Stardew screencaps!), but I'll try to still put some makeup stuff in here too.- Read more...
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I want to preface this by saying I am kind of embarrassed that this is my third blog post here in a row and if other people don't start posting let my insecurity be on your heads.
Also - I am well aware that I'm FJ's Jill Duggar of food photography. I'm terrible ... snark away, judgey people.
I love cranberry-orange muffins and in company meetings I'd make sure they ordered one for me from Panera, but I prefer mine because they are slightly less sweet.
The three bears reference is because I always bake these in 3 sizes: Jumbo, regular*, and mini muffins.
I have three kids and this is one of the few things they all love. Sometimes they like the jumbo when grabbing one as a breakfast muffin on the way to work or school, we all love the regular, and mini-muffins are great when you want just a little bite without eating a whole one...because for me breaking into a whole muffin means I'll try to save for later but will finish it in short order so mini-muffins are perfect for those times you need a little taste of happiness without making a cupcake sized commitment.
*regular being typical cupcake tins.
This is my grandma's recipe. I am sure she got it from Ocean Spray originally and tweaked it as it's similar. This is for a double batch which will make a tray of each size (6 jumbo, 12 regular, and 24 mini.) It is also good in loaf pans as cranberry bread, but muffins leave less crumbs on my counter. Those of you who have neater families who wipe up their own counter crumbs may enjoy the bread, this recipe makes 2 loaf pans.
Ingredients:
- 4 cups flour
- 2 cups sugar
- 1 tbsp baking powder
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp salt
- 1.5 cups orange juice
- 4 tbsp melted butter (or Imperial margarine)
- 2 eggs, well beaten
- 4 cups fresh cranberries* halved or lightly pulsed once in food processor.
(*I do not use nuts in this recipe. If you prefer nuts then cut the cranberries to 3 cups and add one cup of pecans)
- Preheat oven to 350
- Butter tins or line with cupcake liners...I'm a big fan of spray butter
- Sift together dry ingredients (flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.)
- Mix together wet ingredients (OJ, butter, and eggs.) Add melted butter to OJ before adding eggs so they don't scramble from the heat.
- Pour wet ingredients into the dry and mix together by hand until just combined. Like with all such muffins do not over mix or you will get a very tough end product.
- Fold in cranberries until evenly dispersed throughout the batter, again don't over-mix. You don't want them whole, but not minced - big chunks are best. I use my food processor on all 4 cups at once and pulse it once.
Fill tins:
- Regular - 1 ice cream scoop of batter per muffin.
- Mini - 1 melon baller scoop per muffin
- Jumbo - 1.5 - 1.75 ice cream scoops per muffin.
- Loaves - split the batter between 2 loaf
Bake:
- Regular - 25 minutes
- Mini - 15 minutes
- Jumbo - 30-35 minutes
- Loaves - 50 minutes
Done when tops are golden and butter knife comes out clean.
(posting now but will upload pics from phone shortly.)
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Latest Entry
We Are Back. Again. Part I: Ranfords
Christmas is over, New Year is gone, I'm out of excuses. Back to weekly posting plan.
And, so, what's going on in Ranford household?To be honest, not much. Life continued in familiar, chaotic misery.
Viola started a new parenting strategy. You put a crying baby on floor and lecture it. Very fundie-like, and very unproductive.
She decided to share this wisdom to the world with her first book. Basically, it’s a collection of her blog posts, but readers now must pay money for it.
Smart life choices!Reed is a bit of a bully towards Huckleberry. He gets along with twins and doesn't care about quads yet, but every time he sees Huck with a toy, he takes it away.
Zachary and Viola would encourage Huck to give Reed his favorite childhood position, but, unfortunately, Huckleberry doesn't have anything that belongs just to him.But Reed has a good side, too. He catches more fishes in one day than Zachary has managed to catch in his entire life.
The fishes Reed provides is the main food source for entire family now.
And he remembers to pick up all the old bottles from kitchen floor. And, trust me, there are lot of bottles.
#StoryTime: During one night a total stranger entered a house!!! Viola was busy potty training Huckleberry and didn't notice until it was too late!
The ungodly stranger turned out to be a hobby instructor! They are almost as bad as social workers, running around and telling kids that it's ok to enjoy something!!
(Apparently, Forest likes this one particular toy so much he has gained enough enthusiasm to be in zone. And he is only toddler. I'll take it as a sign.)And, yes, no pregnancy announcement from Ranfords... Have Lord closed Viola's womb? Without giving her a precious little baby girl? Or is this just temporally hardship that will be overcome with combination of praying and sweet fellowshiping? Viola sure hopes so.
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Quiver full of Bingo !!!!1!1111!!!!!
I'm all a quiver because I get to see him tonight.
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The beginning of the blog
So this is the beginning of a blog. Just something I can write out that may or may not be interesting. I am Sadie. I am 30. I work in the local hospital, providing care for psych patients. I am also a mom of 3. My oldest has autism and my youngest is hyper as heck. I am married to Micah, a die hard atheist who is an engineer. Probably the most interesting of all things is that we were raised in a religious cult until we were adults (ish. I was 17.) So there will be posts of the struggles that everyone goes through when they leave. It can be hardcore.
So basically today I'll just go into a bit of it. It was patriarchal, women were oppressed hard. We were subjected to four hour long church services, multiple times a week, and were beaten if we did not comply. My family decided to leave when I was 17 due to them trying to marry me off to my husband, as a minor, and because of the disrespect my mom was given. We've never looked back. My husbands family left probably five years ago, because of how my mother in law was treated. My father in law is still struggling. It should also be pointed out that my husband's grandfather is now the leader. We will go into all of this later at some point because oh how I've got stories.
Other things I will probably blog about are my patients (without violating HIPAA) and how I am in a quest to find a way to help the ones with dementia a bit more than, I already do, fashion, or my lack of, music, because oddly enough I sing opera and am a huuuuuuuuuuuuge music nerd, Maybe some books, definitely my kids, and stuff like diet and all that crap. So please enjoy. I promise I'll try to be a regular at this.
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Latest Entry
The Harpers, Chapter Two: New Season of Life
I felt weird thinking the phrase, but the early days of parenthood were a real baptism of fire. I knew a few other women who were having their first at around the same time as me, but I definitely felt "different" having two. There was also the fact that many people who were God-fearing Christians like us believed that women should do pretty much everything in terms of childcare, and the men just had to do stuff like lead family Bible time. Some had twins, but they weren't a couple's first child so older siblings could help. I was so grateful that Hugo was so willing to help out.
I also constantly felt like I might do something wrong. Whenever I needed to bathe the girls, I was always checking the temperature with my elbow, even whilst whichever twin was being bathed was giggling away, clearly completely content with the water temperature.
I came to realise, though, that many of my worries were just "new parent worries" and that everything would be fine; God was in control.
There were things about parenting that I didn't like, one of them being tummy time. It wasn't because I found it boring or hated interacting with Martha and Rachel, but they seemed to both hate it. I didn't know if it was uncomfortable for them or if they were just frustrated at not being able to move.
There were times when both girls would sleep, and we would spend a little time together. I enjoyed working on my writing skills and Hugo would occasionally practise an instrument, or would play chess.
The girls were progressing every day. Soon both girls gained the ability to sit up by themselves and were able to start eating solids.
It was always adorable to watch the girls playing side-by-side; it reminded me of my own childhood.
Winter came around, and snow lay thickly on the ground. I wrapped up warmly and went outside to make a snowman, thinking about the days when the girls would be old enough to join in.
One of the biggest milestones was when the girls finally learnt to crawl. They were able to get around under their own steam! But it also made me realise how big they were getting. Would God bless us again soon?
With the money we were earning, we were able to afford more appliances for the kitchen. The homemade margherita pizza, fresh out of the pizza oven, was one of the tastiest things I'd ever eaten.
All too soon, it seemed, the girls became toddlers, and time for Hugo and I to enter another new season of life.
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A rocky start
I haven't posted because I've had a hell of a time eliminating everything I need to in order to give this experiment a fair shot, primarily chocolate. And Diet Coke.
The good news (I guess) is that I can tell now that those foods make me sick, so I have even more reason to cut them out. The GAPS Diet prescribes lots of fermented foods, so I was hoping to come up with a homemade, fizzy, fermented drink to replace the soda, like fermented lemonade or beet kvass, but I haven't had much luck with that. Here is the Jinger (heehee) bug that I starved to death.
And an attempt at an apple cranberry kvass that went moldy on day three, so I refuse to continue with it. Some sources say to remove the mold and keep going, but that's just too squicky for me.
So I've been eating a lot of homemade chicken soup with sour cream or yogurt stirred in, and I like it. It makes me feel healthy and like I'm taking good care of myself. I got an Instant Pot for Christmas so I plan on trying to make my own yogurt soon.
Has anyone had good results with small batch fermenting at home?
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The Freedom of Saying Goodbye
I feel the need to get this off my chest, even if nobody really reads this.
Yesterday marked the end of a chapter of my life that was open for 16 years - since I was 16 myself.When I was 16 I met someone online. We were the same age (or so I thought - years later she admitted she was actually 6 years older than me) and had similar interests and immediately clicked as friends. In fact, it turned into more than friendship and we started a long-distance relationship. I was infatuated, in love as only a 16-year-old could be.
I vividly remember our first fight. It was around the time of my 17th birthday. We had a mutual friend who was interested in a site called Furcadia. She'd invited us both to play with her but my girlfriend wasn't interested. I decided to give it a try, though. When she found out I'd been hanging out there with our friend she was furious. I was taken aback, but I placated her and it was over.Thus began my dealings with a person suffering from psychiatrist-diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In the early years she broke up with me several time. Each time I was sobbing and heart broken. Each time I was told to get over it. At one stage I moved across the country to live with her. I had no car and no way of catching public transport so she promised to drive me around. Three days before my flight she dumped me. When I moved there, she refused to drive me around. My parents had to buy me a car and drive it cross country. Two months later she decided she didn't want to live there any more and broke the lease to move back home. I had to do the same.
She told me to move on because we were never getting back together. Eventually, I did.I kept it from her, knowing that in spite of her telling me to move on she would be furious. I didn't lie about it, I just never mentioned it. I didn't really try to hide it. Enevitably she found out and the fallout was phenomenal. Eventually, we began talking again. She wanted to resume our relationship after mine ended, but after she had stranded me across the country without so much as a single apology for her actions I'd seen her true colours and could never feel the same about her. I was willing to be friends, but any love I'd felt had been crushed by the hurt I felt.
Despite not being in a relationship, she rewrote the history of mine. She accused me of being with him while I was still with her. She claimed that she'd never said to get over her and that she'd been trying to get back together with me while I was with him. None of that was true. After telling me so many times I had to get over things she'd done in the past, she never let go of my 'betrayal'.Once I found out about the NPD I began to learn how to avoid the arguments and brush off the constant criticism. I was a bad friend, I made her wait too long when we talked online, my illness got in the way all the time, she made all the time in the world for me but I wasn't reciprocating. Somehow, amidst the constant barrage of criticism she kept hinting at us getting back together, but she wanted me to be the one to make the move.
That's when I realised - she didn't love me. I was her backup plan. When she had a better prospect she was happy to let me go, but when there was nobody else she wanted me. She took for granted that I'd wait around for her and ask to get back together and be grateful for the opportunity.
She was wrong.A couple of years ago, I met someone new. Somebody whose love didn't come at the cost of my self worth. Someone who didn't complain about making endless sacrifices for me and ignore the sacrifices I made from then. In fact, I didn't need to make sacrifices for him at all.
It was a love different to any I've felt before, and the first time we met up I realised I couldn't imagine my life without him. Earlier this year, we got married and it was the best thing I've ever done. Naturally, I did not tell her.
I told him everything about her - how our relationship had started, the ways it had ended, and our continuing 'friendship'. I told him that she viewed us as being in a relationship even though I hadn't agreed to one. I was completely honest, and he was completely supportive. He encouraged me to disconnect with her, made me finally believe I didn't deserve the constant criticism, that even though I'd learned to deal with her and didn't rise to the bait it still negatively affected me. He didn't push. He just let me do it at my own pace.
Yesterday, I finally disconnected for good.
It was over something relatively minor in the scheme of our rocky relationship. I was going through something difficult and she was angry with me for being distracted by it because she was having problems too. I told her I was dealing with a potentially terminal illness in my family. Most people would at least offer some perfunctory sympathy. An 'I'm sorry', even if the next word was 'but'. But she didn't. She was just angry I wasn't asking about her issues.
And that's what did it.I told her I had nothing more to say to her, and this time I truly meant it.
I know how different the story would be coming from her. I am a horrible person, a heartbreaker, cold and cruel. I am a cheater and a liar. I am not a saint and I know I've done things out of anger or hurt to lash out at her. I am not blameless. I feel genuinely sorry for what she's going through right now and it's very hard to not tell her so, but I can't get drawn back into contact. My words yesterday confirmed to her every bad thing she's ever thought about me and she will never forgive me. She'll hate me. I needed it to be that way. I wasn't cruel, at least I tried not to be. I wanted to say she was a narcissist and a hypocrite, but I didn't. I didn't get mad. I just said I could no longer be in contact - but that's all it will take. Ending things myself, on my terms - that's an unforgivable sin. I still feel guilty, despite everything. I hate hurting or upsetting anyone.
But at last, I can finally breathe.
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Hims 5 years old!
He's 5.
A whole 5 years old! Hims a chonky baby still living in the house with Princess. Life, money & health have all slowed the renovation process.
We're in& out pretty much every day whether it's to clean or visit them or deal with things that are stashed inside.
He got yum yums & extra cuddles today.
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Truffled Mushroom Melt and a Cute Cat Picture.
I have suddenly become one of those people who constantly takes pictures of their food! I know it's not cool anymore. I feel like my FIL who struts around in a white track suit wearing sunglasses, or with his sweatshirt tucked into his jeans.
I made a mushroom melt on pumpernickel bread with a Greek cheese I can't spell, much less pronounce.
Here is my cute cat picture I promised to show. It's a dirty click bait trick. I know very few FJers can resist cutepet pictures.
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Meet Mela's Fur-Babies! Gilda.
Gilda is our 2nd oldest female, after Lily. Gilda's loves are cardboard boxes, straws, plastic spoons, and potato chips. Fluffybutt loves her some potato chips. That's about the only people food she's ever touched. You could set a steak dinner in front of her and she would just look confused. Like Josie, she has her own language of sorts. She has a very soft and delicate meow that we only hear once in a while. She sort of grunts and gurgles in response to us - like she says 'err! err .' She also has a penchant for wanting to play with my nail art supplies and polish whenever it's out.
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Painting is Finished! (Photos)
It's done!! Oh friends we are so happy it's done! It looks fantastic! Our new wall tree came too and we got it put up and our coats on it. Now just waiting for the floor to acclimate and we'll get it down probably next week. We do have a few more things to hang in the front room, some photos and the Jolly Roger flag over a window as well as a ships wheel and some nautical themed lights.
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Latest Entry
Introductions
Why put this all online instead of talking to my friends? I’ve always been the listener in my friend group, but when it comes to talking about my own life I tend to feel like I’m wasting their time. Plus, almost all of them are married now, and have children. They've long since left this stage of life in the dust.
Why one more year? Because dating is exhausting and I’m tired of the cycle of crushing to crushed and back again. Because if I continue waiting for the one, I’m afraid the rest of life will pass me by.
A little background about me – I’m in my early thirties and I’ve never been in love. Growing up I was always the shy, ugly girl that no guys paid attention to. However, I have had one boyfriend in the recent past. It was not a match made in heaven.
Here are the current key people:
The Ex – Twenty-five years my senior. Half of the time he is one of the most generous guys you’d ever meet. The other half, he’s an emotionally abusive, unapologetic a**hole. He’s a workaholic who hasn’t taken a day off in over a year. To complicate matters, we still work together and are still friends.
The Brit – My current crush. He lives in England. I do not. He’s cute and has that oh-so-sexy accent. We frequent the same forum and belong to a group chat on Skype. We have a lot in common but he might have his eye on someone else.
Muscle Man – Met through a mutual friend. He really likes to work out. Me? Not so much. We used to go to school together but never had any of the same classes. Our mutual friend claims he’s interested, but he took three months to get in contact. Not sure we have much in common but I’m willing to get to know him.
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KWLand 67,673
1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:I don’t think she announced it on her social media yet. I think she might’ve let it slip when ordering something with the baby’s name on it.
Gotcha. I don’t follow her but see reddit posts about her and couldn’t remember where I saw the name.
If it is Amaree, it’s the first “non-noun as a name” name for awhile, right, I can’t remember them all—anchor, armor, anthym, aynjel, are the four I remember that are other words. Then andre, arissa (is is anissa?), anniston (i will never be convinced it’s not after jennifer anniston). So I’m missing 3.
Anyway, lucky kid gets a normal name if it’s amaree
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RebeccaRay 1,172
Norma Roberts is engaged. Both sure on his name
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FilleMondaine 2,655
Something made me look up the Boyer Girls on FJ, and there was a post in the previous baby thread, so I couldn’t quote—sorry!
I saw that Brigid is now a doula, with Brijeedoula. And wouldn’t you know it, she has another insta called evespromise. That handle is…like, was Eve really into birthing babies, or is ‘promise ’ a try-hard sublimation of ‘curse’? For a fundie Christian, the handle actually sounds threatening!
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JermajestyDuggar 437,440
14 minutes ago, KWLand said:i think she announced it’d be Amaree,
I don’t think she announced it on her social media yet. I think she might’ve let it slip when ordering something with the baby’s name on it.
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JermajestyDuggar 437,440
4 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:122 days and counting but now with a price drop of $150K.
Guys, it's a STEAL at $1,800,000.
There are very few buyers on the market looking for a compound. Sure there are plenty of cults in the US who would love it but they probably don’t have that kind of money.
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